The A.D.D TestYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Entertainment  783K views 11.3K likes 1.8K dislikes   12 Nov 2011
Matthew Santoro 5.9M subscribers Canada YouTube↗


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(música alegre)
(upbeat techno music)
- Así que últimamente he notado
- So lately I've been noticing that I can't
que no puedo mantener mi mente en una cosa por mucho tiempo.
keep my mind on one thing for very long.
Primero pensé que era solo
At first I thought it was just because
porque mi paciencia está corta estos días.
my patience was running thin these days.
luego pensé,
But then I thought what if it's gone beyond that?
que tal si vas más allá de eso?
What if I've become one of those people
Y si me convertí en una de esos que esperan todo en un instante?
that expects everything in an instant?
Noticias al instante. Café al instante. Porno al instante.
Instant news, instant coffee, instant porn.
Luego empecé a preocuparme
Then I started to worry if I'd developed
si había desarrollado algún tipo de trastorno.
some sort of disorder.
No quiero terminar como uno de esos niños con TDA.
I don't wanna end up like one of those kids with ADD.
(riendo agudamente)
(laughs hysterically)
Eso de hecho luce un poco divertido.
That actually looks kinda fun.
De todas maneras,
Anyways I googled it and there's
Lo busqué en google, y hay una prueba psicológica en línea que puedes tomar.
an online psychology test that you can take.
Tomaré esa prueba ahora.
I'm a take that test now.
(pedos) Te distraes fácilmente?
"Do you get distracted easily?"
No diría que me distraigo fácilmente pero...
I wouldn't say that I get distracted easily
Oh cielos!
but ooh a bird!
Pero, si estamos hablando,
But if we're having a conversation and I find you boring
y te encuentro aburrido como la (pitido),
as (beep) I am liable to walk away.
estoy obligado a irme. Simplemente no tengo paciencia para (pitido).
I just don't have the patience for bull (beep).
Eso no es TDA,
That's not ADD that's just a patience thing.
eso es un asunto de paciencia. Cuando lees un libro,
"When reading a book do you ever skip ahead?"
alguna vez lo saltas? Está bien.
Ahh okay I might have done that one recently
Puede que haya hecho eso recientemente, pero jamás lo haría de nuevo.
but I'd never do it again.
Wow este libro está increíble!
Wow this book is amazing!
Me pregunto como terminará.
I wonder how it ends?
(bocanada) No!
(gasps) No, no!!
Un punto para TDA.
One up ADD.
Que tan seguido estás tarde para una cita?
"How often are you late for an appointment?"
Oh cielos. Está bien.
Ah crap, okay this one goes to ADD but in my defense
Este va para TDA. Pero en mi defensa, usualmente no hay consecuencias por estar tarde.
there's usually no consequence for being late
Solo la única vez que estaba tarde
except that one time I was late
para recoger mis medicamentos de Tourette.
for picking up my Tourette's medication.
Si.
Yeah, so I dunno, I just had some general questions,
Así que, no sé. Tenía unas preguntas... Espera un minuto.
hold on a minute.
(tocando) Qué? Cerrado?
What, closed?!
Hijo de p(pitido), saco de pelota.
Mother (beep) ing ball-sack hairy
Hoyo (pitido) peludo. (pitido) lame tetas.
(beep) hole (beep) licking tits urr-urr-urrh.
(murmureo) Disculpe por eso reverendo.
Oh, ah, sorry about that reverend.
Así que de todas formas, que dice Jesús acerca de eso?
Yeah, so anyways what does Jesus say about that
Que tan frecuentemente sueñas despierto?
because I really don't know. "How often do you catch yourself daydreaming?"
Está bien. Ese nunca lo hago.
Okay that one I never do I always pay strict attention,
Siempre presto atención estricta. De hecho, eso me recuerda de aquella vez...
in fact that reminds me of this one time.
De que estabamos hablando?
Wh-what were we talking about?
Pierdes tu paciencia fácilmente?
"Do you lose your patience easily?"
Pfft. No. Que tipo de pregunta estupida (pitido) es esa?
Pfft, no, what kind of stupid (beep)-ing question is that?!
Próxima pregunta.
Next question!
Estás hablando por teléfono
"You're on the phone with a friend
justo cuando empieza tu programa de TV favorito,
"just as your favorite TV show starts,
que tan difícil sería para tí
"how difficult would it be for you
prestar atención a la conversación?
"to pay attentionto the conversation?"
Está bien.
Okay that one depends on what
Eso depende de que esté hablando mi amigo.
my friend is talking about.
Obviamente voy a prestar atención
Obviously I'm going to pay attention
si es algo más importante.
if it's something important.
amigo, despacio!
Dude slow down, what happened?
Que pasó?
- [Phone Voice] Dude she crashed my car
- [Voz en off] Amigo,ella chocó mi carro
how could I not murder her?
Como no matarla?
There's blood everywhere
Hay sangre por todas partes,
and I think the cops are on their way.
y creo que la policía ya viene. (programa de TV) Estoy totalmente atrapado.
I'm totally stuck man, I really need to get rid of the body
Realmente necesito deshacerme del cuerpo antes de que lleguen,
before they get here. (Care Bears theme plays)
y simplemente no sé que hacer.
I just don't know what to do and,
Matt, me estás escuchando?
Matt are you listening to me?
Qué? Oh.
- What? Oh yeah, no, everything will be fine dude.
Si. No. Todo estará bien, amigo. Te llamo mañana. Me tengo que ir.
Just call her tomorrow, I gotta go.
(programa de TV)
"Do you jump from task to task
Saltas de tarea en tarea porque simplemente no puedes enfocarte lo suficiente
"because you just can't seem to focus long enough
para terminar una completamente?
"to finish one completely?"
Está bien. No.
Okay no, for sure this one I'm always good at.
Con seguridad, en esta siempre soy bueno. Siempre termino algo cuando lo empiezo.
I always finish something after I start it.
Excepto esa vez la otra noche,
Except that one time the other night
pero eso no cuenta!
but that doesn't count.
(teléfono sonando)
(phone ringing)
Hola?
Hello.
Oh. Hola mama.
Oh, hey Mom.
Oh sí. No.
Oh yeah, hell the new place is really great.
El lugar nuevo está realmente genial.
You should come by some time.
Deberías pasar un día. De hecho, tenemos un ave.
Actually we got a bird,
Si. Si.
yeah, yeah, I know he's really cute,
No. Es realmente adorable.
his name's Jack.
Su nombre es Jack. Qué? Oh no. Si.
What? On no, yeah, you'd totally be proud of me.
Estarías orgullosa de mi.
I'm actually learning how to cook
De hecho estoy aprendiendo a cocinar, lo creas o no.
for myself believe it or not.
(chispasos de fuego) Sabes no es tan difícil una vez que le tomas el truco.
Ah you know, it's not that hard once you get the hang of it.
Solamente tienes que prestar atención.
You just have to you know pay attention and (sniffs)
Hey. Huelo algo. Puedes esperar un segundo?
hey I smell something, can you, can you hold on a second?
(alarma de fuego pitando)
(fire alarm blaring)
(gritando) Oh no!
(Matt wailing)
Y así fué como perdí mi cabello.
And that's how I lost my hair.
Como manejas las tareas aburridas?
"How do you deal with boring tasks?"
Estoy bien con las tareas aburridas.
I am fine with boring tasks.
Las tareas aburridas y yo vamos juntos
Boring tasks and me go together
como Mario y Luigi.
like Mario and Luigi, like Bert and Ernie,
Como Burt y Ernie.
like Batman and Robin.
Como batman y Robin. Excepto cuando estoy subiendo un video con internet lento.
Except when I'm uploading a video with slow internet.
Pueda que haya tenido un incidente con eso.
I may have had an incident with that.
(música estrafalaria)
(slow orchestral music)
(música de terror)
(Psycho shower scene music)
Muere pedazo de (pitido)
Ahh die you piece of (beep).
Porque no compré una Mac?
Why didn't I buy a Mac?
Ah! Pedazo de (pitido).
Ahhhh, you are a piece of (beep)!
Oh mi... Oh Dios!
Oh my, oh God I do have ADD!
Si tengo TDA! Supongo que debo aceptarlo y enfrentarlo.
I guess I should just accept and embrace it.
Bueno, supongo que sólo hay una cosa que hacer.
(sighs) Well I guess there's only one thing left to do.
(riendo agudamente) (música rap)
(hysterical laughing) (hip hop music)
(riendo)
(hysterical laughing)
No tenía idea como se veía eso,
I have no idea what that looked like
pero hay carros mirándome.
but there's cars looking at me (chuckles).
Excepto cuando...
Except when I'm, except when I'm
Excepto cuando estoy subiendo un video con internet lento.
uploading a video with slow internet.
Puede que haya tenido un incidente con eso.
I may have had an incident with that.
Excepto cuando estoy subiendo... Excepto cuando estoy subiendo...
Except when I'm uploading, except when I'm uploading a,
Excepto cuando estoy... (morisquetas con lengua)
except when I'm ah-blah-ah-blah-bl-lu-lah! (blows raspberry)
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