Making StuffYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Comedy  1.1M views 65.9K likes 390 dislikes   26 Feb 2017
exurb1a 3M subscribers N/A YouTube↗


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Contributed subtitles
English Kha
sirxemic
French Yss ୪
Turkish oğuz Kaan
German Dominik H.
Czech Aleš Beran
Portuguese (Brazil) Lucas Costa
Ludoviajante
Luis Portella
English (United Kingdom) sirxemic
Spanish (Latin America) Ismael Rios
Chinese (China) Victor Qian
Click to Play Video Click to Play Video
So one day you have an idea and you decide to make a thing.
Bon. Un jour, Tu as une idée et tu décides de faire quelque chose.
Might be an app, movie, business, video game...
Peut-être une application, un film, une entreprise, un jeu vidéo ...
Might be a painting of your own willy, done entirely in toothpaste.
Peut-être une peinture sexy de toi-même , entièrement réalisée en dentifrice.
Whatever.
Peu importe.
Now, you probably start with some good stats.
Maintenant, tu commences probablement avec de bonnes bases.
Maybe plus 10 creativity, plus 15 charisma, plus 20 self-esteem.
Peut-être : +10 créativité, +15 charisme, +20 estime de soi.
Well, that's grand.
Bon, c'est génial.
You also have a map, showing the way to your thing.
Tu as également une carte indiquant le chemin qui mène à ton quelque-chose.
Look, there it is. A straight line.
Regarde, voilà. Une ligne droite.
So off you trot, and everything is going great, only...
Alors au large, tout va très bien, seulement ...
Okay, minor difficulties, because you don't actually know how to do your thing yet.
Ok, des difficultés mineures, parce que tu ne sais pas encore comment faire ton truc.
Obviously you need to learn to code, or write, or use a camera, or whatever.
De toute évidence, tu dois apprendre à coder, à écrire, à utiliser un appareil photo ou autre.
I mean, okay. There is a small wiggle in the map, but so what?
Je veux dire, d'accord. Il y a petit zig-zag sur la carte, mais quoi?
When your project is done, which will be in like a month, it's going to be great.
Lorsque ton projet sera terminé, ce qui prendra environ un mois, ce sera formidable.
Remember that.
Souviens toi de ça.
You'll just work really hard. It's fine.
Tu vas seulement travailler très dur. C'est bien.
Oh, what? Here comes another hitch.
Oh quoi? Voila un autre accroc.
Maybe you're tired in the evenings when you get back from work and
Peut-être es-tu fatigué le soir au retour du travail et
you don't wanna spend all your time on your project, but that's okay.
tu ne veux pas passer tout votre temps sur votre projet, mais ce n'est pas grave.
Keep going, you'll be alright.
Continue, tu iras bien.
Nothing worth doing was ever easy, huh?
Rien qui ne le vaille n'a jamais été facile, hein?
Oh, okay. Money trouble slash no time.
Ah d'accord. Problème d'argent / De temps.
But don't worry, it's alright. And... I... Yes, sorry, that's -
Mais ne t’inquiète pas, tout va bien. Et ... Je ... Oui, désolé, c'est -
[Minus 10 points determination]
[Détermination - 10 points]
But carry on, and... Okay, trouble at work.
Mais continue, et ... OK, des ennuis au travail.
Don't worry about it. You'll be alright.
Ne t'inquiète pas ! Tout ira bien pour toi.
[Minus 15 emotional resolve]
[ - 15 résolution émotionnelle]
Hey, you can use all that sad energy to make something really brilliant.
Hé, tu peux utiliser toute cette énergie triste pour faire quelque chose de vraiment brillant.
[Plus 15 angst]
[+15 angoisses]
Yeah, screw the naysayers, screw mrs. Collins in year 5
Ouais, on s'en fout des défaitistes, de Mrs Collins au collège.
and all that bullshit she said about your crappy work ethic.
et toutes ces conneries qu'elle t'a dit à propos de ton éthique de travail merdique.
Here comes the big time, captain.
Voici le grand moment, capitaine.
It's just around the corner, hopefully.
C'est juste au coin de la rue, espérons.
All right. It's been months now and you haven't made much progress and...
D'accord. Cela fait des mois maintenant et tu n'as pas fait beaucoup de progrès et ...
Jesus Christ, does that line have a lot of wiggles in it. But just - you're going to be fine.
[Jésus-Christ, cette ligne a-t-elle autant de zigzags ?] Juste ... Ca va aller.
Remember that thing you're trying to finish. Whatever it was, it's going-
Rappelle-toi cette chose que tu essaies de finir. Quoi que ce soit, ça va...
It's going to be great.
Ça va être génial.
You're broke and you haven't seen your friends in weeks, but look:
Tu es fauché et n'as pas vu tes amis depuis des semaines, mais regarde:
you've started now, so you better bloody well finish.
tu as commencé maintenant, alors tu ferais mieux de bien finir. [ Sommeil - Estime de soi - Bonheur ]
Okay. There are a lot of problems with the project.
D'accord. Il y a pas mal de problèmes avec le projet.
Coding is quite hard as it turns out, or
Le codage est assez difficile, ou
some days you just don't want to write, or
certains jours, tu ne veux tout simplement pas écrire, ou
starting a business with very little money is extremely tiring.
démarrer une entreprise avec très peu d’argent est extrêmement fatiguant.
Just hang in there, and- [Minus 20 determination]
Juste, accroche-toi, et... [Détermination - 20]
[Minus 15 self-esteem]
[- 15 estime de soi]
[Minus 10 will to live]
[-10 volonté de vivre]
Just keep working. It's all right.
Continue seulement de travailler. C'est bon.
(God, why did you even start this?) [Minus 10 self-esteem]
(Dieu, pourquoi as-tu donc commencé ça?) [-10 estime de soi]
No, just shut up. Stop being so hard on yourself, idiot. You never do anything right.
Non, tais-toi. Arrêtez d'être si dur avec v toi-même, idiot. Tu ne fais jamais rien de bien.
[Minus 20 self-esteem.] God this is just so typical.
[-20 estime de soi.] Mon Dieu, c'est tellement classique.
You're always chasing after stupid pipe dreams that'll never work. [Minus 30 self-esteem]
Tu poursuis toujours des rêves stupides qui ne fonctionneront jamais. [-30 estime de soi]
This is probably why dad never bought you that fucking Etch-a-sketch. [Minus 100 self-esteem]
C'est probablement pour ça que papa ne t'a jamais acheté ce putain d'écran magique à dessin. [-100 estime de soi]
And- oh... That's nice. It's a chance meeting with a friend who says some wise things.
Et… oh… C'est gentil. C'est une chance de rencontrer un ami qui dit de sage choses.
They've been through hard times and they're still alive.
Ils ont traversé des moments difficiles et ils sont toujours en vie.
Keep going, they tell you. You'll be all right.
Continuez, ils vous disent. Tout ira bien.
Plus 50 self-esteem.
+50 estime de soi.
That's ironed out a few kinks and
Quelques problèmes sont réglés et...
You're a little further along now.
Tu es un peu plus loin maintenant.
It's funny, while the thing was only in your head, you didn't really imagine there would be any problems.
C'est drôle, alors que la chose n'était que dans ta tête, tu ne pensais pas vraiment qu'il y aurait des problèmes.
Who would have thought coding or an app or starting a business
Qui aurait pensé que coder, créer une application, créer une entreprise
or making a documentary would be so difficult.
ou faire un documentaire serait si difficile.
Well, you know all about that now.
Eh bien, tu sais tout à ce sujet maintenant.
Plus 20 wisdom
+20 sagesse
Super Duper.
Super Mec.
Of course there was going to be resistance.
Bien sûr, qu'il y aura de la résistance.
Of course people were going to tell you it's impossible.
Bien sûr, que les gens allaient te dire que c'était impossible.
Well, you'll show them and boy are people going to love this shit when you're done.
Eh bien, tu leur montrera et les gens vont adorer cette merde quand tu l'auras finie
Everything is going to be alright after all.
Tout est en train de bien se passer après tout.
Maybe good things do happen.
Peut-être que de bonnes choses arrivent.
Maybe everything is going to turn out fantastically.
Peut-être que tout va tourner de manière fantastique.
Maybe you're going to live in a mansion and spend all day eating Cadbury's creme eggs
Peut-être que tu vas vivre dans un manoir et passer toute la journée à manger des œufs à la crème de Cadbury.
and watching Amelie over and over.
et regarder Amélie encore et encore.
Maybe CrossFit is actually good for you.
Peut-être que le Cross Fit est fait pour toi.
And maybe- [skeptical comments from friends and family]
Et peut-être... [commentaires sceptiques d'amis et de famille]
[Minus 50 determination]
[Détermination -50]
Oh it's fine. What do they know? [No funding slash money]
Oh c'est bon. Que savent-ils? [Pas de financement / pas d'argent]
[Minus 50 determination]
[Determination -50]
Hang in there. It's okay. This thing is going to be great.
Accroche-toi, ça va, ce truc va va être géniale.
Carry on and maintain your resolve. What's the wors-
Continue et maintiens ta résolution. Quelle est la...
(God. Am I secretly an idiot for believing in my own ambition?)
(Dieu. Suis-je secrètement un idiot pour croire en ma propre ambition?)
[Minus 50 resistance to mockery]
[-50 résistance à la moquerie]
(Maybe everything Mrs. Collins said in year five was true.)
(Peut-être que tout ce que Mme Collins a dit en cinquième était vrai.)
[Minus 500 self-esteem]
[-500 estime de soi]
But- Oh, thank god. Just a little further now.
Mais... Oh, dieu merci. Juste un peu plus loin maintenant.
Look how far you've come. You're home and dry.
Regarde jusqu'où es tu allé. Tu es chez toi et au sec.
The manuscript is almost finished.
Le manuscrit est presque terminé.
Or the documentary is almost shot.
Ou le documentaire est presque tourné.
Or the business is almost set up
Ou l'entreprise est presque mise en place.
and the toothpaste is perfectly aligned.
et le dentifrice est parfaitement aligné.
All that effort is going to pay off and everything is going to be fine.
Tous ces efforts porteront leurs fruits et tout ira bien.
And only a few more steps. My god, if you'd only know what you're getting into.
Et seulement quelques pas de plus. Mon dieu, si tu savais seulement dans quoi tu t'engages.
But surely it can't get any worse.
Mais cela ne peut sûrement pas être pire.
Surely this is the final hurdle and just a few steps away is...
C’est sûrement le dernier obstacle à franchir, juste à quelques pas seulement ...
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!
Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! Merde! MERDE!
Oh and here comes a health crisis: bout of weight gain.
Oh, et voici une crise sanitaire: Prise de poids.
Your family expects you to settle down already.
Ta famille s'attend à ce que tu sois déjà installé
Other friends having good jobs.
Les autres amis ayant de bons emplois.
No energy. No fun. No money. And the undeniable sense that you're wasting your time.
Pas d'Energie. Pas drôle. Pas d'argent. Et le sentiment indéniable que tu perds ton temps.
The map is fucked! You should have gone to law school.
La carte est foutue! Tu aurais dû aller à l'école de droit.
You're in over your head. The whole world is waiting for you to fail.
Tu es dépassé... Le monde entier attend ton échec.
It's all been done before. There are no new ideas.
Tout a déjà été fait avant. Il n'y a pas de nouvelles idées.
Move to the woods, eat rice and die alone.
Déplace-toi dans les bois, mange du riz et meurs seul.
My god you're getting older. No one will give a damn when you're finished with this.
Mon dieu tu vieillis. Tout le monde s'en foutra quand tu auras fini avec ça.
And how did you get into this mess and why try anything when it's doomed to fail?
Et comment es-tu entré dans ce pétrin et pourquoi tenter quoi que ce soit quand c'est voué à l'échec?
What does fun feel like again? What does having free time feel like again?
Qu'est-ce qu'on ressent à s'amuser de nouveau? Qu'est-ce ça fait d'avoir à nouveau du temps libre?
*Crash cymbals intensifies* Did Tony Robbins lie about everything?
(Bruits de cymbales) Tony Robbins a-t-il menti sur tout?
*Drums intensifies*
* La batterie s'intensifie *
*CYMBAL!*
*CYMBALE!*
And one day, unexpectedly, you wake up to find, in spite of all the odds
Et un jour, de façon inattendue, tu te réveilles et découvre, malgré toutes les difficultés,
that your project is indeed finished.
que ton projet est en faite terminé.
And maybe it was good and successful, or maybe people said mean things
Et peut-être que c'était bien et réussi, ou peut-être que les gens disaient des choses méchantes
but you learned a shitload in the process.
Mais tu en as appris énormément pendant tout ça.
And you know now that in order to shit fire, one must first chew glass.
Et tu sais maintenant qu'à bouffer du piment on finit par chier du feu.
That has been the prerequisite for almost all great art, and endeavour and invention.
Cela a été la condition préalable de presque tous les grands arts, grandes tentatives et inventions.
All of the great writers, scientists, pioneers, entrepreneurs and generally decent humans
Tous les grands écrivains, scientifiques, pionniers, entrepreneurs et plus généralement les gens honnêtes
had a hard time doing stuff.
ont eu du mal à faire des choses.
They hated their work, doubted themselves, lost friends, made enemies, spent years broke.
Ils détestaient leur travail, doutaient d'eux-mêmes, perdaient des amis, se faisaient des ennemis, passaient des années sans succès.
But the single common theme is they may have screwed up a few times.
Et ce qu'ils en commun c'est d'avoir échoué quelques fois.
Usually a lot.
Généralement beaucoup.
But they always kept their eye on whatever it was they wanted to finish.
Mais d'avoir toujours gardé l'œil sur ce qu'ils voulaient finir.
And when that thing was finished, they went on to the next project.
Et quand cette chose a été terminé, ils sont passés au projet suivant.
That appears to be how the game works.
On dirait que c'est comme ça que ça marche.
Or... Okay, to put it another way...
Ou ... D'accord, autrement dit ...
Projects are hard, self-doubt isn't clever,
Les projets sont difficiles, douter de soi n'est pas intelligent,
so make lots of stuff before you're dead forever.
alors fais plein de trucs avant d'être mort pour toujours.
Goodbye.
Salut.
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