i cut my hair with craft scissors Joana Ceddia English Polish

i cut my hair with craft scissorsYouTube↗ IA↗(long shot)
Comedy 13.8M views 555.3K likes 9.5K dislikes 21 Jul 2018 Show Contributors 15

Joana Ceddia 3.3M subscribers N/A YouTube↗

Contributed subtitles

English Beauty of colors

UCyZpRnSr_8Iyr_YzUCL4vJg

Spanish Just Bex

Portuguese Sabrina Ferreira

Arabic Sasa Foufi

French Joapéritif

Turkish onder okay

UCvP6SwMCrurdtECfbxORkkA

German MiToMe945

Dutch MrAronymous

Hebrew L K

Serbian jovana matic

Estonian Aurelia Tetsmann

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Hello everyone! Welcome back to my YouTube channel. Hello everyone! Welcome back to my YouTube channel.

Cześć wszystkim! Witam ponownie na moim kanale YouTube.

Today... Well, okay. Today... Well, okay.

Dzisiaj ... Dobrze.

I'm not even gonna waste any time getting into it, because you probably already read the title. I'm not even gonna waste any time getting into it, because you probably already read the title.

Nawet nie będę marnować czasu, żeby się w to zaangażować, bo prawdopodobnie już przeczytałeś tytuł.

So yeah, I'm gonna be cutting my hair today. So yeah, I'm gonna be cutting my hair today.

Więc tak, będę dzisiaj obcinać włosy.

Why? I don't know!

Czemu? Nie wiem!

Why? I don't know!

Czy to zły pomysł?

Is this a bad idea? Is this a bad idea?

Czy będę tego żałować?

Am I gonna regret this? Am I gonna regret this? Maybe, I don't know. Maybe, I don't know.

Może nie wiem.

So, against my better judgement, So, against my better judgement,

Wbrew mojej lepszej ocenie

I am NOT gonna use, like, professional hair cutting scissors. I am NOT gonna use, like, professional hair cutting scissors.

NIE będę używać profesjonalnych nożyczek do strzyżenia włosów.

I'm just gonna use these ones that I found in the craft bin. I'm just gonna use these ones that I found in the craft bin.

Użyję tylko tych, które znalazłem w koszu na przedmioty.

This is NOT a bad idea!

This is NOT a bad idea!

To NIE jest zły pomysł!

I have kind of a love/hate relationship with my hair. I have kind of a love/hate relationship with my hair.

Mam coś w rodzaju miłości / nienawiści z moimi włosami.

I like having it long.

Lubię to długo.

I like having it long.

Is it nice? Is it nice?

Sure. Sure. But, I also wanna just go bald sometimes. But, I also wanna just go bald sometimes.

Ale ja też czasem chcę po prostu łysić.

Like, every person I meet,

Jak każda osoba, którą spotykam,

Like, every person I meet, I tell them the exact same thing: I tell them the exact same thing:

Mówię im dokładnie to samo:

If the apocalypse ever hits, If the apocalypse ever hits,

Jeśli apokalipsa kiedykolwiek uderzy,

I'm going bald.

I'm going bald.

Ahhhhh I don't know why, but just picture this: I don't know why, but just picture this:

Nie wiem dlaczego, ale wyobraź sobie to:

You're struggling to survive.

Walczysz o przetrwanie.

You're struggling to survive.

Bez jedzenia, bez wody.

No food, no water. No food, no water. There's zombies attacking you. There's zombies attacking you.

Atakują cię zombie.

Me? I'm bald and beautiful. Me? I'm bald and beautiful.

Mnie? Jestem łysy i piękny.

That's sounded disgusting. That sounded disgusting.

Brzmiało to obrzydliwie.

And I have all the food!

I mam całe jedzenie!

And I have all the food!

Czy pozwolę ci wejść?

Am I gonna let you in? Am I gonna let you in? No, because you made fun of my bald hair. No, because you made fun of my bald hair.

Nie, bo wyśmiewałeś się z moich łysych włosów.

That literally didn't make any sense. Okay, whatever That literally didn't make any sense. Okay, whatever

To dosłownie nie miało sensu. Okej, cokolwiek

I watched like how the video on how to do this before I got bored .. So, um I watched like how the video on how to do this before I got bored .. So, um

Zanim się nudziłem, obejrzałem film o tym, jak to zrobić

Yeah, I'd say we're off to a pretty good start. Every single video

Yeah, I'd say we're off to a pretty good start. Every single video

Tak, powiedziałbym, że mamy dobry początek. Każde wideo

I watched the woman always had dry hair and my hair is still wet I watched the woman always had dry hair and my hair is still wet

Patrzyłem, jak kobieta zawsze ma suche włosy, a moje włosy są nadal mokre

So I don't really know if that's gonna help me or hurt me So I don't really know if that's gonna help me or hurt me

Więc tak naprawdę nie wiem, czy to mi pomoże, czy skrzywdzi mnie

We'll see but yeah, we've got so many things going for us today. We'll see but yeah, we've got so many things going for us today.

Zobaczymy, ale tak, mamy dzisiaj tyle rzeczy do zrobienia.

I kinda wanna go like.. That short. I kinda wanna go like.. That short.

Chcę trochę jak ... Tak krótko.

I also don't want to look like an old woman. I also don't want to look like an old woman.

Nie chcę też wyglądać jak stara kobieta.

I searched up short hairstyles on Google and a bunch of like old I searched up short hairstyles on Google and a bunch of like old

Szukałem krótkich fryzur w Google i wielu podobnych do starych

ladies came up with mushroom haircuts. I don't want that ladies came up with mushroom haircuts. I don't want that

panie wymyśliły grzybowe fryzury. Nie chce tego

So every video I watched they started by brushing out their hair. So every video I watched they started by brushing out their hair.

Więc każde wideo, które oglądałem, zaczynało od czesania włosów.

So let's just get right in to it So let's just get right in to it

Przejdźmy więc do tego

Wow, this is a look Wow, this is a look

Wow, to jest spojrzenie

Yummy. am I scared to cut my hair? not really

Yummy. am I scared to cut my hair? not really

Przepyszny. czy boję się obciąć włosy? nie całkiem

Like I know I said I have a love-hate relationship before but now that I think of it Like I know I said I have a love-hate relationship before but now that I think of it

Jak wiem, powiedziałem wcześniej, że mam związek z miłością i nienawiścią, ale teraz, kiedy o tym myślę

I really want my hair gone

Naprawdę chcę, żeby moje włosy zniknęły

I really want my hair gone like every time I work out or something like every time I work out or something

jak za każdym razem kiedy ćwiczę czy coś

I always have it in like a high ponytail and it's just a mess. It's just like a dog tail I always have it in like a high ponytail and it's just a mess. It's just like a dog tail

Zawsze mam go jak wysoki kucyk i to tylko bałagan. To jest jak ogon psa

It'll probably slap someone in the head and it'll knock them out. Oh god, this is so hard It'll probably slap someone in the head and it'll knock them out. Oh god, this is so hard

Prawdopodobnie uderzy kogoś w głowę i powali. O Boże, to takie trudne

Why am I struggling already at this? This is a bad sign Why am I struggling already at this? This is a bad sign

Dlaczego już z tym walczę? To zły znak

I guess like my biggest fear is like it'll turn out jagged or like I guess like my biggest fear is like it'll turn out jagged or like

Wydaje mi się, że mój największy strach jest taki, że okaże się postrzępiony

Curved? we'll see what happens. ah What is this? This- this is not

Curved? we'll see what happens. What is this? This- this is not

Zakrzywiony? zobaczymy co się stanie. Co to jest? To nie jest to

This is a recipe for disaster. Okay

This is a recipe for disaster. Okay

To jest przepis na katastrofę. w porządku

I'm like kind of good with that I'm like kind of good with that

Jestem w tym trochę dobry

Okay, So I had to go in a bit of a hunt to find another one of these like little black So I had to go in a bit of a hunt to find another one of these like little black

Musiałem więc wziąć udział w polowaniu, aby znaleźć inny taki jak mały czarny

Elastics because this fabric one. No, this is going in the trash Elastics because this fabric one. No, this is going in the trash

Gumka, ponieważ ta tkanina. Nie, to idzie do kosza

ooh, I actually made that

ooh, I actually made that

och, właściwie to zrobiłem

You know what's the best feeling in the world? when people play with your hair. You know what's the best feeling in the world? when people play with your hair.

Wiesz, jakie jest najlepsze uczucie na świecie? kiedy ludzie bawią się twoimi włosami.

Do you guys remember in like elementary school when we have those like lice checks? Do you guys remember in like elementary school when we have those like lice checks?

Czy pamiętacie w szkole podstawowej, kiedy mamy takie jak czeki na wszy?

I remember like in grade four whenever like that woman would come in the class and she's like 'Guys, its time for your lice checks!' I remember like in grade four whenever like that woman would come in the class and she's like 'Guys, its time for your lice checks!'

Pamiętam, jak w czwartej klasie, ilekroć taka kobieta przychodziła na zajęcia, a ona jest jak „Chłopaki, czas na wasze czeki!”.

Everyone just like bolt to the front of the classroom and get in the line and there'd be like fights Everyone just like bolt to the front of the classroom and get in the line and there'd be like fights

Wszyscy lubią uciekać przed klasę i stanąć w kolejce, a będą jak walki

like people would like draw blood like it would get violent like people would like draw blood like it would get violent

jak ludzie chcieliby pobierać krew, jakby stała się gwałtowna

Oh god Is this a bad idea? I don't know future me if you're editing and you've already got your short hair Is this a bad idea? I don't know future me if you're editing and you've already got your short hair

Czy to zły pomysł? Nie znam mnie w przyszłości, jeśli edytujesz, a masz już krótkie włosy

Please tell me how this goes Please tell me how this goes

Powiedz mi, jak to idzie

Are any of you guys still scared of the dark? Are any of you guys still scared of the dark?

Czy któryś z was nadal boi się ciemności?

I'm 17 years old and I'm still scared of the dark and I'm starting to think that that's never gonna go away.

I'm 17 years old and I'm still scared of the dark and I'm starting to think that that's never gonna go away.

Mam 17 lat i wciąż boję się ciemności i zaczynam myśleć, że to nigdy nie zniknie.

The other day The other day

I was going to bed and it was around like 10 o'clock. I was going to bed and it was around like 10 o'clock.

Idę spać i było około 10.

That's not even is that even? That's not even is that even?

To nawet nie jest to nawet?

Okay, whatever. I don't even care. I'm gonna re-do this one. Okay, whatever. I don't even care. I'm gonna re-do this one.

Okej, cokolwiek. Nawet mnie to nie obchodzi. Zrobię to ponownie.

God. Why is this step taking so long? Wait, where was I? God. Why is this step taking so long? Wait, where was I?

Pan Bóg. Dlaczego ten krok trwa tak długo? Zaraz, gdzie ja byłem?

Oh, yeah, I'm still scared of the dark Oh, yeah, I'm still scared of the dark

Och, tak, wciąż boję się ciemności

I was going to bed like 10 o'clock and it'd been like 20 minutes and I was like almost falling asleep I was going to bed like 10 o'clock and it'd been like 20 minutes and I was like almost falling asleep

Szedłem spać około 10, a minęło 20 minut i prawie zasnąłem

And then I hear like footsteps in my room. Um, not today satan And then I hear like footsteps in my room. Um, not today satan

A potem słyszę jak kroki w moim pokoju. Nie dzisiaj szatan

Yeah, I literally like woke up. I started sweating. Yeah, I literally like woke up. I started sweating.

Tak, dosłownie lubię się obudzić. Zaczęłam się pocić.

My heart was beating like a thousand miles a second My heart was beating like a thousand miles a second

Moje serce biło jak tysiąc mil na sekundę

I was freaking out I was about to have a heart attack I was freaking out I was about to have a heart attack

Byłem przerażony, że miałem zawału serca

I'm pretty sure and like I'm debated going to my parents rooms like a three-year-old would do but I was like, okay I'm pretty sure and like I'm debated going to my parents rooms like a three-year-old would do but I was like, okay

Jestem całkiem pewny i jakbym debatował o pójściu do pokoju rodziców, tak jak zrobiłby to trzyletni chłopiec, ale byłem w porządku

You know what, like your a teenager you can do this, you can fix this. You know what, like your a teenager you can do this, you can fix this.

Wiesz co, jak twój nastolatek, możesz to zrobić, możesz to naprawić.

You know its just, it's just footsteps. Like its probably just the house it's old You know its just, it's just footsteps. Like its probably just the house

Wiesz, że to sprawiedliwe, to tylko kroki. Jakby to chyba tylko dom

it's like Redecorating you know?, so what do I do?

Redecorating you know?, so what do I do?

Remontowanie wiesz ?, więc co mam zrobić?

Oh, I'll tell you what I did Oh, I'll tell you what I did

Och, powiem ci, co zrobiłem

I've sat in bed for another three hours searching up funny cat videos to you know, forget about the scary stuff I've sat in bed for another three hours searching up funny cat videos to you know, forget about the scary stuff

Siedziałem w łóżku przez kolejne trzy godziny, szukając zabawnych filmów o kotach, zapomnij o strasznych rzeczach

So yeah, I think that's even okay. Now's the moment of truth

So yeah, I think that's even okay. Now's the moment of truth

Więc tak, myślę, że to w porządku. Teraz jest chwila prawdy

Phew Phew aaaaahhhh How do I just like, like that?

Oh my God it's going

Wait! no I'm not suppose, ahhhhhhhh Wait! no I'm not suppose

Czekać! nie, nie sądzę

I'm supposed to cut above the elastic, right? Yeah, that's right. Okay I'm supposed to cut above the elastic, right? Yeah, that's right. Okay

Mam przecinać gumkę, prawda? Tak to prawda. w porządku

My mum is gonna kill me. My mum is gonna kill me.

Moja mama mnie zabije.

Oh my god, ahh Oh my god

Wait, that's that's pretty good. Hey, oh my god. I should be like a hairstylist Wait, that's that's pretty good. Hey, oh my god. I should be like a hairstylist

Czekaj, to całkiem nieźle. Hej, o mój boże. Powinienem być jak fryzjerka

Okay, who wants this? Okay, who wants this?

Dobra, kto tego chce?

I mean, I'm gonna be selling it for like a million dollars on ebay I mean, I'm gonna be selling it for like a million dollars on ebay

Mam na myśli, że sprzedam to za milion dolarów w serwisie eBay

So, oh that is really uneven now for the other side.Is that the same length? Let's go for it So, oh that is really uneven now for the other side.Is that the same length? Let's go for it

Więc, och, to jest naprawdę nierówne z drugiej strony. Czy to ta sama długość? Chodźmy na to

oh my god They're so uneven oh my god They're so uneven

o mój boże Są takie nierówne

This is where this is where it starts to go downhill Oh no, This is where this is where it starts to go downhill

To tutaj zaczyna się zjeżdżać

Let's see how that looks .Nope. Oh, that's kinda cute. Okay. I'm kinda living for it Let's see how that looks .Nope. Oh, that's kinda cute. Okay. I'm kinda living for it

Zobaczmy, jak to wygląda. Nie. Och, to trochę urocze. W porządku. Żyję z tego powodu

This might look absolutely terrible but like to me I don't know it looks pretty good This might look absolutely terrible but like to me I don't know it looks pretty good

To może wyglądać absolutnie okropnie, ale jak dla mnie nie wiem, czy wygląda całkiem dobrze

And I saved like $40 and then gonna call in my mom when she gets home from her errands And I saved like $40 and then gonna call in my mom when she gets home from her errands

A ja zaoszczędziłem 40 $, a potem zadzwonię do mamy, kiedy wróci do domu ze swoich spraw

We'll see what she thinks, you know what we should do? We'll see what she thinks, you know what we should do?

Zobaczymy, co ona myśli, wiesz, co powinniśmy zrobić?

I think I'm gonna put these on the I think I'm gonna put these on the

Myślę, że włożę je

Entryway so that when my mum walks in she'll see it and she'll just have a heart attack Entryway so that when my mum walks in she'll see it and she'll just have a heart attack

Wejście, więc kiedy moja mama wejdzie, zobaczy to i po prostu dostanie ataku serca

. Okay, let's go do that . Okay, let's go do that

. Okej, zróbmy to

Welcome to my TED talk wait, this could like easily be the setup for like a murder scene too, right? Maybe I'll put a sign Welcome to my TED talk wait, this could like easily be the setup for like a murder scene too, right? Maybe I'll put a sign

Witaj w moim przemówieniu na TED, poczekaj, to może być z łatwością ustawienie na scenę morderstwa, prawda? Może postawię znak

So do you think she'll freak out? I don't know

So do you think she'll freak out? I don't know

Więc myślisz, że ona oszaleje? Nie wiem

Hi

Hi

Do you like it? Do you like it?

Do you not like it? Do you not like it?

Nie podoba ci się

Okay, so that's where that video ends this is the content you're getting Okay, so that's where that video ends this is the content you're getting

Okej, więc tam, gdzie kończy się ten film, dostajesz treść

you clicked on this video

kliknąłeś ten film

you clicked on this video I mean not my fault partly my fault. Okay, it's like I mean not my fault partly my fault. Okay, it's like

To znaczy nie moja wina, częściowo moja wina. Okej, to jest jak

forget that easy breezy beautiful

forget that easy breezy beautiful

zapomnij o łatwym wietrze pięknym

One thing's for certain though. This haircut didn't cure me of my ugliness One thing's for certain though. This haircut didn't cure me of my ugliness

Jedno jest pewne. Ta fryzura nie wyleczyła mnie z mojej brzydoty

This is like a vogue pose, right? I feel like I could do like a billboard or something This is like a vogue pose, right? I feel like I could do like a billboard or something

To jest jak modna poza, prawda? Czuję, że mógłbym zrobić jak billboard czy coś takiego

Could you imagine me on a billboard like this Could you imagine me on a billboard like this

Czy możesz mnie sobie wyobrazić na takim billboardzie

Wow, i am so ugly Wow, i am so ugly

Wow, jestem taki brzydki

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