9no mes, Director's Cut (made with animoto http://ae8e6e3b.ubervidz.com)YouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
People & Blogs  992.9K views 85 likes 53 dislikes   01 Oct 2008
clarksoft 307 subscribers Chile YouTube↗


Please select the problem
You must specify your email and describe the problem in detail
Describe your problem in detail if it's not obvious

Click to Play Video Click to Play Video
No. Oh, no!
Es la casa de mi hermano. Él paga. Oiga...
- Yes! - Oh, no!
- ¿El Sr. McCallister? - Sí. ¿El que vive aquí?
- This wasn't a planned pregnancy? - This wasn't even a planned affair.
Bien. Alguien me debe $122,50. Quiero hablar con Ud. ¿Estoy arrestado?
Well . . . Iet's see how far along we are.
Siempre hay muchos robos en vacaciones. Estamos verificando si los vecinos toman precauciones.
Time out! Holy cow, what was that? Who's that?
Tenemos luces automáticas, cerraduras. Hacemos todo lo posible.
How could this have happened?
- ¿Probó el licor de huevo? - Vamos.
- How old are you now, Mollie? - 33. Remember, your biological clock is ticking.
- A comer. - Vamos. - ¿Licor? - ¡Pizza! - ¿Van a ausentarse...? - ¡Pizza! Tomen servilletas y sírvanse de beber.
Beth finally agreed to a divorce. Mollie, I'm so glad you waited. I knew if I was patient, this day would come.
- ¿Papá Noel pasa por la aduana? - ¿A qué hora hay que acostarse? Temprano. Nos vamos a las 8 en punto. Espero que todos tomen leche. Quiero terminarla. - Hay que darle $122,50 al pizzero. - ¿Por la pizza?
10 pizzas a $12. - Tú tienes dinero. - Cheques de viajero. Olvídalo. Tenemos efectivo.
Remember your biological clock.
Seguro que tus cheques no sirven en Francia. ¿Alguien me pidió una de queso? Sí. Pero si quieres... ...alguien tendrá que vomitarla, porque se acabó.
My biological clock is ticking . . .
¡Fuller! Tranquilo con la Pepsi.
I know, I've already said that. I didn't plan on this. I'm not asking for anything. I don't want to trap you. But this baby . . . it's you and me, and I'm not getting an abortion.
¡Kev! Kev, consigue un plato.
I wasn't going to ask you to. This will be an incredible baby. He'll have your sweet face and my business sense.
- ¡Los pasaportes! - ¡Cuidado! No, no. Saca los pasaportes.
- We'll get little Armani diapers. - It will be a great kid.
¿Estás bien, cariño? Ven. ¿Estás bien? ¿Qué sucede contigo?
Having my baby what a way to say you love me
¡Él empezó! Se comió mi pizza.
Albert, you're making me sick. I hate that song. Stop singing. She gets sick, I get sick. What are you going to tell people? That I got artificially inseminated.
Sabe que odio la salchicha y... Mira lo que hiciste, ¡tonto!
What? How could you do such a thing?
Ve arriba ya. ¿Por qué?
I went to the clinic and bought some frozen sperm.
Eres la peste. - ¡Cállate! - Kevin, ¡arriba!
- I inserted it, now I'm pregnant. - Where's the frozen pop?
- Di buenas noches, Kevin. - "Buenas noches Kevin". ¿Por qué me tratan así?
- There's no frozen pop. - There's no husband.
Lo siento. Esta casa es una locura. Hay muchos niños dando vueltas.
I control my life and I want to have a baby.
Mi hermano llegó de Ohio.
This kind of thing a girl does if she's very ugly or a lesbian.
¿Cómo no trajiste más pizzas de queso? Gracias por la propina.
This is not the act of a beautiful intelligent girl. You never liked any of my boyfriends, anyway.
¿Tienen una reunión? Enviaron a mi cuñado a París. Y sus hijos aún están aquí. Como los extraña, nos invitó a París...
- Where did this sperm come from? - A medical student.
...para estar juntos. ¿Se van a París? Sí, mañana por la mañana.
He goes to Columbia. His parents live on the lsland.
Excelente. Excelente.
His father's in piece goods. His mother works in cosmetics.
Discúlpeme, éste está de mal humor. No se preocupe. Hablé con su marido.
So you're making fun of me. Wait, you'll see. Someday you'll have children.
Y no se preocupe por su casa. Está en buenas manos. Hay 15 personas, y sólo tú molestas. Me fastidian. Eres el único que se porta mal. Ahora, arriba.
Estoy arriba, ¡tonta!
Look . . . an arm. It's an arm.
¿El tercer piso? - Ve. - Me da miedo allí.
Look . . . isn't it cute?
Fuller subirá pronto. No quiero dormir con Fuller. Moja la cama. Me hará pis encima. Lo sé. Lo pondremos en otro lugar.
Lo siento. Es demasiado tarde. Sube. ¡Toda la familia me odia! Pídele a Papá Noel una nueva familia.
Here's the head . . . isn't it?
No quiero tener una familia. ¡Las familias apestan! Quédate allí. No quiero verte hasta mañana. Y yo no quiero verte nunca más. Ni a ti, ni a nadie.
Ojalá no lo digas en serio. Te entristecerás si al despertarte no tienes familia.
Get some apple juice down here! - Thirsty? - Go ahead. "The sex organs are moulded out of similar tissue folds." "By the second trimester they are identifiable."
No, no lo haré. Repítelo. Así tal vez suceda. ¡Espero no verlos nunca más!
Look, another arm coming in down there . . . How am I going to get that in my mouth? Miss, excuse me . . . - What can I do for you? - Albert is expecting me.
Ojalá desaparezcan todos.
He's in with his decorator. You can wait over there. - I think you're going to enjoy it. - I'm sure I will. - Remember to dust it every day. - See you later. Hi, come on in.
Albert, was that woman pretty? - No, you're pretty. - I look like a big, fat pilgrim. How do you like the desk? - It's made of stone. - It's all right.
It's going to be great in here. This is all going. I'm having a custom-made mural of an ancient Navajo design. Leather craftsmen in Mexico are going to make all new couches. - What do you think? - I like the deco stuff.
- ¿Dónde están? - No sé. Ella dijo 8 en punto. ¡Peter! ¡Nos quedamos dormidos!
- Don't gain too much weight. - My doctor says my weight is fine. Beth only gained 21 pounds. She jogged three miles a day.
- Maybe you should marry her. - Don't start.
Hola, soy Mitch Murphy. Vivo enfrente.
- I've got problems, too. - Sorry. I'm afraid of giving birth.
¿Uds. Se están yendo? Nos vamos a Florida. Primero vamos a Missouri, a recoger a mi abuela.
- I've never been real big on pain. - You been to Lamaze?
Los McCallister viajan a Francia.
I quit. It's just a bunch of breathing. It's so much better for the baby. When Beth had Priscilla . . .
¿Hace frío allá? - ¿Son económicas estas camionetas? - Niño, no lo sé. ¡Vete!
I'm so sick of hearing about Beth!
Cuéntalos antes de subir.
How could you be in love with her and then in love with me?
¿Y los pasaportes? Secándose en el microondas.
I have a degree. She took belly-dancing lessons.
¿A qué velocidad va? ¿Tiene transmisión automática?
When I found out I was pregnant, I decided to make out a will. When Beth had the girls, she had a reading of their past lives. - And you're still with her! - Oh yeah? Look at this receipt.
¿Tracción en las 4 ruedas? Oye niño, ya te lo dije: No me molestes. ¡Vete!
- Galleria Apartments. - I moved out. I did it.
Formen una fila.
I put down a deposit this morning.
- ¡Silencio! - ¡Caray! ¡Silencio!
I can't believe it! Should I come by tonight?
Tengo que contarlos. 1, 2, 3...
You'd better not. We've still got to be careful.
11, 92, 12... Buzz, no seas estúpido.
Albert, I'm so happy!
6, 8, 8... ...9, 10, 11.
I wonder if this store has a bathroom. I have to go again.
La mitad en esta camioneta, y la mitad en la otra. Buen viaje. Tráiganme algo de Francia.
I love this . . . Look, it takes two of them to cover me.
Perderemos el avión. Despega en 45 minutos.
- Yeah, but you're having a baby. - You try it on.
¡Sé optimista! Tú sé optimista. Yo seré realista.
- Should I have a baby with Neal? - Do you love him?
Ya tiene energía eléctrica...
No.
...pero arreglar el teléfono llevará unos días...
Try some of that Nobel Prize winners' sperm.
...especialmente en vacaciones. - Gracias. ¿Los contaste?
Don't you want a smart baby?
Once, incluyéndome. 5 varones, 6 mujeres, 2 conductores...
That's all I need. A baby telling me what an idiot I am. - I found a nice family man. - Except it's someone else's family. That's why he left. He loves me and we're having baby. It sounds like the people in the next compartment are.
...y una perdiz en el peral.
- Mollie! - Albert! - Let me explain . . . - These dresses aren't paid for.
¡Detenga el avión!
- Don't take this shit from him. - I'm going to call the cops.
- ¿Lo perdimos? - Llegan justo. Usen los asientos individuales que quedaron libres.
After you. Thank you. - Albert, what's going on? - Mollie, I've fallen in love.
¡Quiero ventanilla!
Beth knows. I'm going to live with Melissa.
- Los adultos vamos en primera. - Asientos 4 A y B.
I don't know if it'll last. It just happened.
4 A y B. Tomaré los abrigos. - Ajusten sus cinturones. - Champaña, por favor.
Why didn't you say anything to me?
- Es gratis, ¿verdad? - Oh, sí.
You were so close to the end of your pregnancy.
Lo logramos. ¿Puedes creerlo?
I don't believe this is happening. This sounds awful, but I'm going through a selfish phase. - A selfish phase? - I admit the timing is bad. - A selfish phase? - It just happened.
Espero no haber olvidado nada.
A selfish phase! Albert, you dick. - You lousy prick! - Leave him alone. - Come on. - Here. Hey, what the . . .
- Wait, please, I'm in labour. - I was here first. Asshole! Taxi! Please . . . St. Jerome's Hospital. Oh, shit!
- Slow down! It can take hours. - So can the midtown traffic. Pull over till the ludes wear off.
God, you idiot! Come on, move it.
¿Mamá?
Christ, this traffic . . . We're going as fast as we can.
- Son de cristal. Son auténticos. - Sí, ¿y? - Guárdalos en tu bolso. - No puedo.
Hold onto my hand. Bear down, that's what they say in the hospital.
Oye... ¡Guárdalos en tu bolso! Sí. Llénela. Llénela.
- Come on, move it. - God, my water just broke. - Hey, buddy, move it. - You can't get through here.
Llénela, por favor. Gracias. ¿No te apena estar aquí mientras los niños viajan atrás? Los niños están bien.
- I've got an emergency. - Sorry, buddy, move it. Just relax. Hold on, we're almost there.
De niño, la única vez que viajé fue en camioneta. Iba a casa de mis tíos, no a Francia. Los niños se divierten como nunca. ¿Hola?
Look out! You're going to hit . . ! Hold on! You stupid son of a . . !
¿Mamá? ¿Papá?
- Are you doing your Lamaze? - Look out! - Breathe deep. - Don't try to help, just drive! You've got to use Lamaze. My sister-in-law used it.
¿Dónde están todos? ¿Buzz?
- It's better for the kid. - All men are stupid idiots.
¿Megan? ¿Hola?
- Should I call your husband? - I don't have a husband. - I was artificially inseminated. - Are you a lesbo?
¿Rod? ¿Tío Frank? Tío Frank, ¿es una broma? ¿Megan? ¿Linnie?
Stupid jerk! My kid will probably be brain damaged because of you. Don't touch me! I'll have this baby without you touching me.
¿Es una broma?
- Excuse me, I'm in labour. - Do you have your medical card? - I left it at home. - I have to have your medical card. - This is my first baby. - She's getting close. Upstairs. You didn't finish this. I cannot do my job . . .
Es sólo mi imaginación. Sólo mi imaginación.
- Put these on over your clothes. - I'm not the father. - Nurse, another one's coming. - Deep breaths, come on. Okay, this'll pass. Watch the head. God! I need some drugs.
Los autos están aquí. ¡No fueron al aeropuerto!
- Slow down your breathing. - Fuck my breathing! - You've got to calm down. - Get me some drugs.
Hice desaparecer a mi familia. Eres un inútil.
- No, you don't want drugs. - I do. I'm going to split in two.
Sabes, Kevin... ...en francés, eres un incompétent.
By the time they take effect she could be delivering.
Kevin, haré que mi tarántula te devore. Kevin, eres la peste.
- But what about now? - I'm waiting for a doctor.
Hay 15 personas, y sólo tú molestas.
Are you a doctor? Come on.
Mira lo que hiciste, ¡tonto!
- Water break? - Half an hour ago. - Are we doing our Lamaze breathing? - I dropped out of Lamaze. I'll go to summer school if you make the pain stop. - How about some Demerol? - God, that'd be great!
Hice desaparecer a mi familia.
I'd like some of that. Give me a lot of it. So it doesn't wear off during the birth. I think maybe I'm in a bit more pain than most of your patients.
¡Soy libre!
Be sure and give me enough. - There we go. - Thank you a really lot. That is a little more like it.
¡Caray! Todas desnudas. ¡Qué repugnante! ¡Qué bueno! ¡Petardos!
Hey, here's Mr. Hand here.
Los usaré después. Buzz, estoy revisando tus cosas.
Now that is very cosmic. I don't understand . . . What's that light down there? That's it, breathe! Attagirl, push. One more.
¡Ven y golpéame! Buzz, ¡tu novia! ¡Puf!
Stop with that pushing! I'm falling! Help! No, put me back in! Let go of my head and put me back inside! It's a boy.
It's a boy. Who are you? Lady, I'm freezing. I'm so cold. Get that thing away from me. - You want to do the cord? - No, you take this one.
I need that!
Lady, a blanket, something, I'm frosty out here.
¿Quién es? Soy yo. Snakes.
No, don't do that!
Lo tengo. Déjalo en el umbral y vete de aquí. Bien, Johnny. Pero, ¿y mi dinero?
Where are we going now? Hey, don't drop me.
¿Qué dinero? A.C. Dijo que me lo darías.
Oh, very nice . . .
¿En verdad? ¿Cuánto te debo? A.C. Dijo que el 10%. Lástima que A.C. Ya no está. Miren, ¡como chatarra y miro basura!
I don't know about you, but I'm beat. So you're the one that's been kicking me.
Mejor, ¡salgan y deténganme! Te llamará cuando salga.
You're the one that ate the spicy food.
Te diré qué haré, Snakes. Contaré hasta 10...
This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me . . . so far.
... para que te largues... ...de mi propiedad... ...o te llenaré de plomo.
I don't get it. I just don't get it. Where did I go wrong? Where are my thumbs? I want to suck my thumbs. - I have to get my own place. - I've been reincarnated so quickly? What a surprise!
De acuerdo, lo siento. Me voy. 1, 2... 10.
Who stole my sucking thing? I need my sucking thing! I just remembered I hate childhood.
Quédate con el vuelto, animal. ¡Mami!
Look at all those daddies.
¿Qué sucede?
Making goofball faces and taking pictures of their babies.
¿Cariño? Tengo un mal presentimiento. ¿Qué?
You won't find your father here.
Algo que no hicimos.
I really messed things up for you.
Te sientes así por el apuro. Hicimos todo.
Don't be upset. I'm going to find you a daddy.
¿Apagué la cafetera? No. Yo lo hice.
And not just some handsome guy I'm in love with.
¿Cerraste con llave? Sí.
You're all that matters to me. I'll get you the best daddy ever. Out, down, in, out . . . Well, we got that.
¿Y el garaje? Eso es. Olvidé cerrarlo. Eso es. No, no es eso.
What have you got there? A hand? Yeah, two of them. Oh, my God! "On the third or fourth day your breasts may swell slightly."
¿Qué más pudimos olvidar? ¡Kevin!
Slightly? I look like a Russ Meyer movie. Workman. - Oh, no! Sorry. - Real nice.
- You got your figure back. - This is not my figure.
El capitán dice que su teléfono no funciona.
Sorry I hit you and yelled at you, but I was in a lot of pain.
Llamaremos al llegar. Debe estar bien.
I still owe you that cab fare, but somebody stole my purse.
Horrible. Horrible. Es horrible. ¿Cómo pudo pasarnos? Lo olvidamos.
- How do you like New York so far? - It's my kind of town.
No lo olvidamos, sólo contamos mal.
I'll get you the rest later . . . Wait a minute . . . - How did you know where I lived? - You left it in the cab.
¿Qué clase de madre soy? Si te hace sentir mejor, olvidé mis lentes. En una cuadra, se fueron 5 familias.
Thanks. You should look through that thing. You've still got your diaphragm.
Ellos mismos me lo dijeron. Es demasiado fácil. Observa: Todas las casas vacías...
...tienen luces automáticas.
Don't smoke that around my baby. There's a 62% higher rate of cancer in people who live with smokers. What are you trying to say? You don't want me to move in yet?
Lo tengo todo calculado. Fíjate. En el 664, se encenderán justo... ...ahora.
Do you think the drugs had any effect on him? - How did you know I had drugs? - I don't. I didn't. You can tell in his eyes. He looks stoned.
Espera, espera, espera. En el 682... ...ahora.
- He does not. He looks perfect. - You don't look so hot yourself.
Espera un momento. 681... ...ahora.
If you tried passing a watermelon, how hot would you look?
Y ésa es la mejor, Marvin. La frutilla del postre. Es muy buena.
Ouch! I should call my mother more often. Get it?
¿Muy buena? Está cargada. Está llena de cosas valiosas.
- Do you want a sub? - No, will you just watch him?
- Equipos de audio, de video... - ¿Juguetes?
Don't take him out of his chair and don't touch him a whole lot.
Tal vez haya finísimas joyas. Quizás mucho dinero. También acciones.
Hi, Mikey. I'm James.
¿Quién sabe? Es una gema.
- Good to meet you. - Do you mind if I suck on that? - How long have you been here? - About five years.
Toma tu barrote. Listo. Ud. Es indeseable, Sr. Grinch
- Were you born in New York? - Are you with the census bureau?
Ud. Es el rey De los borrachines inmorales Su corazón es un tomate muerto
How do you like the outside world? It's weird, isn't it? - Yeah, tell me about it. - Here, your first lesson in coffee. - Can you say black coffee? - No. Regular coffee has two sugars and milk . . . which they have forgotten.
Con manchas púrpuras y mohosas Sr. Grinch
Can I borrow some of yours? Coffee regular, I love it. That's breast milk. - Why didn't you tell me? - You're on your own. I'll see you guys later.
I'm going to take my sub and my breast milk and get out of here. I've got something cold and wet in my shorts. Could you get somebody for me? Fellas? You guys are no help. I'm cold and wet and there's nothing I can do.
¿Por dónde? Iremos por atrás, al sótano.
It's okay, Mikey. Mommy's here.
That Mommy person's here again. She's okay. I like her. I start crying and she comes in with a bottle. Crying, I can handle that.
- Dijiste que no estaban. - Partieron hoy. Salgamos de aquí. Por favor, el teléfono. Es una emergencia. Debemos usarlo.
¡Por favor! Mi hermano quedó solo. ¡Préstenos el teléfono! Lo siento. Gracias. Llamaré a la policía. Consigue un vuelo a casa.
Taxi!
Busquen monedas. Llamen a los conocidos.
Taxi!
Aquí está mi libreta. Llamen a todos los vecinos. Quizás alguien nos ayude. ¿Hola? ¿Hola? Oh, tendrá que volver a llamar. Esto es ridículo.
"80% of all women experience post-partum depression." I won't.
Sólo un cobarde se escondería. Y yo no puedo ser cobarde. Soy el hombre de la casa. Oigan, ¡ya no tengo miedo!
Like a lot of parents, I can't always be there on birthdays.
¡Dije que ya no tengo miedo!
Help, somebody burp me before I blow up. That's it! You have some exotic disease and I look like a zombie. And your father deserted us so he could pork his interior decorator. I think you can safely say that it can't get any worse.
¿Me oyen? Ya no tengo miedo.
- Hello! - I was wrong. Where's my grandson?
There he is.
Departamento de policía. Llamo de París. Mi hijo quedó solo en la casa.
- Mikey, do you know who I am? - No, actually, I don't.
¿Alguien puede ir a avisarle que estoy yendo a buscarlo?
- I'm your grandma. - Okay, if you say so.
Le pasaré con el Depto. De Crisis Familiares.
- Yes, I am. - What do you want from me?
Espere. Larry, ¿puedes atender a una mujer histérica?
- Who's got a wet tushy? - I give up.
- ¿En qué línea, Rose? - Dos. Sgto. Balzac, de Crisis Familiares. Llamo de París. Mi hijo quedó solo en la casa.
After a new diaper, I like some of that white stuff on me.
¿El niño tuvo una escena violenta con un familiar ebrio?
If you had a man instead of a frozen pop, all this would be put together.
¡No! ¿Tuvo un accidente doméstico?
You make it sound like I had an affair with a frozen dessert. - You look awful. - Thank you.
No lo sé. Espero que no. ¿Ingirió veneno o se atragantó? No, ¡está solo en la casa! Quiero que alguien vaya...
You're using too much powder.
...y vea si está bien.
Why don't you get out of the house? I'm going to give Mikey a bath.
¿Quiere que vayamos a su casa, sólo a verlo?
A what?
¡Sí! Le pasaré con la policía. Ellos me pasaron con Ud.
She's gone!
- ¡Rose! - Sí. - Histérica. - Espera. - Espere, por favor. - No, no cuelgue. ¡Por favor! ¿Tuvieron suerte?
Who would you want as your child's father? Someone with a small mouth and good hair . . .
- No conseguí a nadie. - ¿Leslie? Nada. Sólo contestadores automáticos.
- A guy to help raise your child. - Are there men who do that? I'm looking for a guy who's not married, - - not into drugs, not a deadbeat, but not a workaholic. - And cute. - Cute is of no importance.
Alguien que atienda. ¡Atiendan! Oh, señora. De nuevo, Ud. Oiga, llamo de París. Mi hijo está solo y yo... Enviaremos a un oficial a que vea a su hijo.
You're my first date since my baby was born. This looks delicious. What is this? I asked for well done. This is raw. I asked for no dressing, this is covered with slop.
Are you deaf or something? Who do I have to kill to get a roll?
No hay nadie. La casa parece segura.
What's this "C" in algebra? How many times did we go over it?
Que cuenten los niños de nuevo. ¿No podrían sacar a alguien o...?
Are you an idiot?
No puedo hacer eso.
Dating is difficult, but you've got to take a chance in life sometime.
¿Y si le pide a alguien? Diga que es urgente... No puedo hacerlo. La policía está yendo a la casa.
I'm not so sure about that. Excuse me.
Es un alivio. Está todo reservado.
This fork and this plate are dirty, and there's something in the water.
¿Nada a Chicago? Ni a Chicago, ni a Nueva York, ni a Nashville.
Check your water.
- ¿Y un avión privado? - Lo siento, no tenemos.
Mikey, what is this mess? Sort out these socks.
Sólo hay lugar para el viernes. Viernes... Pero faltan dos días.
Why are school shirts mixed up with after-school shirts?
Todos estamos exhaustos. No se puede hacer nada.
Straighten this up properly.
Vamos donde Rob, y de allí llamaremos nuevamente a la policía. Sólo me iré de aquí en un avión. Señora, hacemos lo posible.
- Hi. - Hey.
Si desea quedarse, quizás consiga en lista de espera.
- Somebody call for a cab? - Yeah, small world.
Tal vez se desocupe un asiento.
More mail for Vincent Ubriacco. I don't even know this guy. Let me have them. Put them up here, the postman will take care of them.
- ¿De acuerdo? - Sí. Esperaré.
- It's good seeing you again. - You, too. See you.
Te extrañaré. No te pierdas.
- You're stealing my mail! - I'm not stealing your mail. - You put it in your pocket! - These are mine. - I sent them here. I'll explain. - I'm going to call the police. My grandfather Vincent needs an old-age home -
Adiós. Me duché, lavé todo mi cuerpo con jabón.
- and there's a place in Manhattan, but he needs to be a resident.
Incluso los orificios... ...entre mis dedos y mi ombligo...
You want to use my mailing address?
...y lo disfruté mucho.
I could have you arrested. Screwing with the mail is a federal offence.
Lavé mi pelo con champú y enjuague para adultos. No encontré...
Stealing mail is, not screwing with it.
...mi cepillo de dientes, compraré uno.
- Can I get the other letters? - No, I don't want to get involved. I went out of my way to bring you back your purse. Thank you very much, but this happens to be illegal. You're not going to get caught. I'll do something for you, okay.
En fin, estoy en buen estado.
- I'll baby-sit. - Come on . . . - You don't know about babies. - My sister has kids. - I know a lot about babies. - All right, Friday night. - No can do, Friday's out. - Then forget the whole deal.
- Okay, Friday, but that's it. - And during my aerobics classes. - One aerobics class. - Saturday. Can't do. I teach.
What do you teach? Taxi driver's ed? - That's not funny. - Here's the deal. Friday nights, two aerobics classes, and you can't bring chicks over. You're pushing it. All right, it's a deal.
¡Vaya! Los ahorros de Buzz.
- Sucker. - Good. - Don't force-feed him like that. - I'm not! - Why don't you take a nap? - He doesn't need a nap. - He knows when he's tired. - I'm not tired at all.
Creí que los Murphy estaban en Florida.
If he doesn't take a nap - - he will wake up and want to eat when it's time to sleep. - Who says? - All those doctors. - They just want to sell books. - Dr. Spock is not like that.
Eres uno de los mejores rateros del mundo.
Dr. Spock loves us. He protested during the Vietnam war.
¿Podrías hacer menos ruido?
I'm sorry I said anything about Dr. Spock.
Se comunicó con la Flia. Murphy. Deje su mensaje.
I can't believe she's getting upset about a Vulcan.
Habla nuevamente Peter McCallister. Estoy en París.
- Have you got any other letters? - They're in the hallway.
Les dejaré mi teléfono. El código es 33. Luego 1-4 y el número es 694-876... - Oye, Harry. - ¿Sí? ¿La casa de anoche no era la de los McCallister?
Mommy's asleep. Watch this.
- Llámenme a París. - Tienes razón. Se fueron. - Lo sabía. - Tendremos postre esta noche. ¡Caray! ¿Puedo ayudarte?
¿Este cepillo está aprobado por la Asociación Dental? Pues, no lo sé. No dice nada, querido. ¿Podría averiguar?
What do you say you and me take a ride so your mother can sleep? - Is that a deal? - Just bring the milk.
- Herb. - ¿Sí? Aquí me preguntan sobre un cepillo.
See that? That's my cab. I do this to make money, but not for long. Okay, this is called driving. When you get older, I'll teach you how.
¿Sabes si está aprobado por la Asociación Dental Americana? No lo sé.
First, you put the little stick in the hole. Then you move your foot back and forth. Okay, what next?
You move the big circle around.
Oh, querido, debes pagar aquí.
No problem, I can do this. I can drive.
Espera, tienes que pagar. ¡Hijo! ¡Hijo! Jimmy, ¡detén a ese niño! ¡Oye!
¡Ladrón!
- Hey. - Hey, Jimmy. That silver plane is a VJ-1 0.
¡Oye! ¡Oye, niño!
That big plane is a Viscount.
¡Regresa!
- Hey, Carrie. - What a sweetie.
¡Alto!
- Is it yours? - Yeah, but he needs a mother. I'm kidding. Is this my schedule? - There's nothing on it. - I'm sorry. Do these things come in different sizes? What are these, jumbos?
Ven aquí.
- What are you staring at? - Lunch. Mikey? Mikey? I want to report a missing baby.
Soy un criminal.
Maybe he was kidnapped, or maybe he's with a complete idiot! Hey, Grandpa. That's Grandpa. Do I know you?
¿Qué sucede? ¿De qué te ríes? ¿Por qué te ríes?
- Jimmy! - Grandpa.
- I don't remember your baby. - It's a friend of mine's.
Lo hiciste de nuevo. Dejaste el agua corriendo.
- You sure it isn't yours? - I've got more teeth than him.
¿Por qué lo haces? Te dije que no. - Es nuestra tarjeta de visita. - Vaya.
What are those hairy jobs over your eyes?
Todos los grandes dejan su marca. Somos los bandidos húmedos.
Let me see those things. There we go. How does that feel?
Estás enfermo. Realmente enfermo. - No lo estoy. - Sí, lo estás.
- Mikey, lay off him. - What a crack-up. - Honey, I'm home. - Me, too.
Es algo enfermo.
- Hey, you're up. - My baby! Honey, honey . . . Mommy and her baby . . . Idiot! I called the police. I was worried out of my mind.
- No lo hagas. - No me digas... Puedo hacerlo si quiero. No es enfermo. ¡Oye, cuidado!
- You knew I was with him. - You might be a kidnapper.
¡Oye! ¡Oye! Debes prestar atención. - Lo siento. - Maldición.
- I was baby-sitting for you. - That means the baby stays here!
Santa no va a los funerales.
Damn it! I got a splinter. Let me see it. - Have you got a needle? - In there.
De acuerdo. Feliz Navidad.
Sit down.
¿Qué sucede? No me gusta cómo me miró.
Oh, stop. If you don't hold still, I can't do this. It doesn't hurt. It hurts. Don't do it that way. - You're poking me! - Hold still while I get it out.
- ¿Lo conoces? - Vi cien niños esta semana. Veamos en qué casa entra.
- It can't hurt that much. - How would you know? - Look at that. That's a big one. - I've never had one that big in me. - All better. - Mikey needs a nap. Mikey, I've got to go. See you.
Ready? High-five. Low-five. Baby-five. Bye. - Bye. - My little angel-head. - Mollie, who was that? - The babysitter. The babysitter? He's not the frozen pop, is he?
¿Por qué se apura? Te dije que algo pasaba. Me miró de forma rara. ¿Por qué?
- Ma! - All right, give me the baby.
Quizás entró en la iglesia. - No entraré allí. - Yo tampoco. Salgamos de acá.
- Ma . . . - What? - You ever get bored with Daddy? - How can I get bored with Daddy? Mikey needs a father.
Cuando esos tipos regresen, estaré listo. ¿Regresaron? ¿De París?
- I just can't find the right guy. - Mikey will like whoever you like. - I don't like anybody. - You know what the secret is? Find someone you have something in common with, like Daddy and me.
Volveremos mañana. Quizás se vayan.
We both like to go to the movies. I know someone perfect for you. He's in Daddy's firm. He's handsome and smart. You'll love him. Hello! Rosie didn't tell me you were beautiful. I'm surprised, that's usually the first thing she says.
Vamos, antes de que nos vean.
Come on in. This is my son Michael. I'll get dressed. Make yourself comfortable. - Hi, little guy. - Who's this yutz?
Miren lo que hallé.
Are you watching some TV? Don't touch that. I don't want to watch football.
Frank, son para después.
Hey, it's the bear show. Look at that. - Leave it on football. - Leave it alone. - That guy's a good actor. - Cut it out. It's the play-offs!
¿Quieren un camarón? ¿Habla inglés? Bueno, ¿hay alguien... - ¿Conseguiste algo? - ¡Busco a mi hijo!
You dick.
No, no consigo a nadie. No hay nadie, por las vacaciones. No importa, olvídelo.
- Baby! Hot mama! - You're such a goofball.
- Esto es inútil. - ¿Qué?
- Don't I look good? - You look slightly cute.
Estamos aquí, pudriéndonos. Kevin, en casa. Mamá, en el aeropuerto.
- What are you all dressed up for? - I've got a hot date.
- ¿Y? - ¿No te preocupa Kevin?
You'd better call her. I'm going to be late.
No, ¿por qué? Se portó como un tonto y le salió mal.
Yeah, right. You've got a date with an accountant. 9:30 tops.
Es tan pequeño e indefenso. Debe estar asustado.
- Don't count on it. - Besides, my woman will wait.
Le harán bien un par de días en el mundo real.
Harry, this is the babysitter. I'll just get my coat.
¿No te preocupa que le ocurra algo? No. Por 3 razones:
- I'm just watching the game here. - Yeah, I've got money on this game.
A: No soy tan afortunado. 2: Tenemos detectores de humo...
So you're an accountant? You and Mollie will get along great.
...y, D: Vivimos en la calle más aburrida de los EE.UU...
- She's a CPA. - I know, her mom told me. It's got to be tough being a mom and a CPA. But Mollie is tough. She hates it when guys open doors for her - - or pick up the tab. It really pisses her off.
...donde nada peligroso sucederá jamás. Punto. ENTRE POR ATRÁS
- She's liberated? - Come on. A guy babysitter? Come here, Mikey. Say bye-bye to Mama.
- Do this. - Jeez!
¿Quién es? Traigo su pizza de Nero.
Give it back. This is really embarrassing.
Déjala en el umbral y vete de aquí.
May I just say one thing?
Bien.
- You look better without it. - I think so, too.
¿Y mi dinero?
- Sexy. - Yeah. - All right, I'll leave it off. - Great.
¿Qué dinero? Tiene que pagar su pizza, señor. ¿En verdad? ¿Cuánto te debo?
Bye-bye. See you. Mikey, high-five. - Yeah, all right. - Who was that clown? It was very uncomfortable.
$11,80, señor. Quédate con el vuelto, animal.
A kind of bloated, gassy . . . belchy sensation.
- Miserable. - Oye. Contaré hasta 10... ...para que te largues...
I'd sit down in the bathroom . . . and nothing would happen.
...de mi propiedad... ...o te llenaré de plomo.
Nothing would come out. I called my doctor about two . . . . . . three weeks after this started. He said I'd better come in and have an ultrasound.
1, 2... 10.
- What was I saying? - Ultrasound. So I went in for the ultrasound and they checked it out. It wasn't gallstones. They didn't know what it was.
The doctor said I'd better have an upper G. I. So I went in again.
Una rica pizza de queso, sólo para mí.
- Have you ever had a barium enema? - Not recently.
A Dallas/Forth Worth. American Airlines...
It's disgusting, but I did get to see my colon on TV.
Tenemos $500, el diccionario...
Is it true that colons look 1 0 pounds heavier on TV?
...2 pasajes en 1 ª y... ¿Es un Rolex?
How so?
- ¿Piensa que lo es? - No. ¿Quién lo notará? Tengo un anillo. Oh, ¡es hermoso!
They never do that for me.
Están embarcando. Nos da 2 pasajes en 1 ª si viajamos el viernes. Más un anillo, un reloj, un diccionario, $500 y... Los pendientes.
Get on my knee. - Hold it. Okay. - Get down, Mikey.
Tiene una caja de zapatos llena de pendientes. - Vamos, vamos. - No, pero... Estoy desesperada. Le suplico. De una madre a otra. ¡Por favor!
- Oh, Ed. - ¡Por favor!
Yeah, I can do that.
Oh, de acuerdo.
Let's walk. I'm dancing. I'm bad. - Check me out now. - Jump. Hey, can I get paid?
"Querido Santa, el año pasado recibí una hermanita. Este año, prefiero plastilina". No lo dije en serio. Si regresan, no volveré a molestar.
Two, please. Are you ready?
Lo prometo. Buenas noches.
I'm gonna throw up, but I like it!
Sueño con
Okay, shake it up.
Una blanca Navidad
Right on.
Como las que solía conocer
Ready? Shake it, Mikey.
Con las copas de los árboles Brillando
Let's go.
Y los chicos escuchando Las campanas del trineo En la nieve
Aeroplane. Mikey's a plane. Look at that boy. All right. Finally, I passed the stone.
En la nieve
It's the most excruciating thing you can have, next to giving birth. - I had a really good time tonight. - I bet you did. A lot of guys would feel threatened by a woman always wanting to pay. - What? - Your babysitter told me.
- He did, did he? - Yeah. - Come here. - No, I really have to go up. - Come on, Mollie, it's early. - Yeah, but I'm broke. Jerk.
¿Es buena la comida para microondas?
Shit!
- No sé. - La probaré. Para los niños. Espere, tengo un cupón.
I'm home.
Vino en el periódico de hoy.
You can go on your date now.
$19,83. Bien. ¿Viniste solo? Señora, tengo 8 años.
¿Cree que vendría solo? No lo creo. ¿Y tu mamá? - En el auto. - ¿Y tu papá? - Trabajando. - ¿Y tus hermanos?
- Hey, Mikey! - Sarah, how are you doing? - I want to talk to you. - Sorry, got to go. Right back at you, babe.
Soy hijo único. - ¿Dónde vives? - No puedo decirle. - ¿Por qué no? - Porque es una extraña.
- Hiya, Mickey. - Look at that hat. - Megan, good to see you. - Mikey, where've you been? - Did you get your hair cut? - Yeah, what do you think? I hate it. My mother did it herself.
It looks great.
I used to have curls at the end. - I remember. - I was the one with the cute curls.
¡Hola, Kevin!
- Now they're gone. - You're still cute. - I look like a boy. No offence. - Nice talking to you. How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
¡Cállate! No entiendo. Parece que no hay nadie.
- How many? - What's a light bulb? I don't get it. Where's she going? Who's that big guy?
Anoche, el lugar brincaba. Algo anda mal. Anda y fíjate.
- Who is he? - That's okay. That's her daddy. What's a daddy? What do they do?
¿Ahora? No, mañana, ¡estúpido! ¡Ahora! Adelante.
The big men types who hang around with the mommies. I get it. Maybe I'll ask James to be my daddy.
"Ahora".
We 'll eat all the pudding now . . .
¡Maldición! Vete de aquí.
- I still ain't eating it. - Yummy.
Bien, Johnny. Pero, ¿y mi dinero? ¿Qué dinero? A.C. Dijo que me lo darías. ¿En verdad? ¿Cuánto te debo?
All right, don't look at Mommy.
A.C. Dijo que el 10%. Lástima que A.C. Ya no está. ¿Qué quieres decir? Está arriba, tomando un baño.
You've got to love her.
Te llamará cuando salga. Te diré qué haré, Snakes. - ¿Snakes? - Contaré hasta 10... ...para que te largues...
Watch this, Mikey. - Now that's entertainment. - Not in front of Mikey.
...de mi propiedad... ...o te llenaré de plomo. Bien, Johnny. Pero, ¿y mi dinero? 1, 2... 10.
- Look at the look on his face. - He looks like his father. You said you were artificially inseminated.
Quédate con el vuelto, animal.
I was, but I never make that face. I assume his father does.
¿Qué sucedió? No sé quién fue, pero alguien murió.
You know what I thought you'd enjoy doing today?
Alguien nos ganó, están allí. Son dos.
- Go to my grandfather's new home. - You thought I'd enjoy that?
Estaban discutiendo. Uno mató al otro. - ¿Quién? - No lo sé.
Yeah, you'd enjoy it . . . Maybe you'd sign a few papers.
Reconocí una de las voces. Sé que oí el nombre "Snakes" antes.
You are such a baby. If you want me to do something, just ask. Would you please come with me to sign these papers?
¿Snakes? Snakes. No conozco a ningún Snakes. Snakes. Salgamos de aquí. Espera. Esperemos...
- That's how you handle a woman. - Really?
...a ver quién es. Éste es también nuestro barrio. Si la policía nos arresta... ...nos preguntará por este homicidio.
You want to go to lunch at North Eastern Life lnsurance? - Employees get free lunches. - We'll get caught.
¿No sería bueno conocer su rostro? Buena idea.
I must know 20 ways to get a free lunch in this town.
Claro que es una buena idea. ¿Snakes?
- You do this a lot? - Sure. I don't pay for L. D.'s, either. Long distance phone calls.
Sonaba como un reptil. Todo lleno.
I go up to a company receptionist.
¿Está todo lleno? Lo siento, es víspera de Navidad.
I pretend I'm a lost messenger, and they let me use their phone.
¿Y otra aerolínea?
I wouldn't be driving this cab if I made more instructing.
No hay nada. ¿Le consigo un hotel?
- What do flight instructors make? - If I hustle, about 1 , 1 00 . . . . . . a month. But I get to accumulate air time.
Mañana podrá viajar. No puedo esperar tanto. Lo siento, señora, pero hacemos todo lo posible. La estoy molestando. Lo siento.
- Give me my bag! - He's not stealing our bags.
Ud. Tiene pasaje. Bien. Mire, llevo casi 60 horas sin dormir.
- I've got my teeth in there. - They're coming with us.
Estoy cansada y sucia.
Tell him not to touch my teeth.
He ido de Chicago a París, luego a Dallas, a... ¿Dónde estoy? Scranton. Intento llegar a ver a mi hijo.
Welcome, gramps.
¿Y Ud. Me dice que es inútil?
- Are we stopping for a bite to eat? - No, this is your new place.
- Lo siento. - No. De ninguna manera. ¡Es Navidad!
- They got good shrimp here? - And lobster.
La época de la esperanza. Aunque tenga que arrodillarme...
This is it. Enjoy your stay.
...o dar todo lo que poseo...
Grandpa, this is great.
...o vender mi alma al diablo...
You've got a terrific view. No roommate to bug you. Television.
...iré a casa a ver a mi hijo. Señora, si hubiera algo...
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Hágalo. Haga algo.
He's got a sweet tooth. Give him one candy bar a day.
- Puedo conseguir un hotel. - ¿Qué? ¿Nos disculpa? ¿Puedo hablar con Ud. Un segundo?
- Just don't let him find the bag. - No problem.
Discúlpenos. Ud. Tiene un pequeño problema.
That smells good.
Y nosotros también.
- Grandpa, that smells good. - I'd like to see you eat it.
Me presentaré. Soy Gus Polinski.
Watch this.
¿El rey de la polca?
Let me try that.
¿Los pateadores de Kenosha? - Hola. - Hola.
- What do you want? - Mollie helped us get this place.
No importa. Creí que me reconocería...
The woman has thousands more nerves in the sexual organs than the man.
Hace unos años, tuve algunos éxitos. Por eso... ¿"Polca, Polca, Polca"? Polca, polca, polca
- I bet the kid's not even yours. - That's it! Be nice.
¿"Polca de 2 lagos"? ¿"Polca Yamahoozie" o "Bésame Polca"? ¿"Twist de la Polca"?
He's worse at this than I am. Let me give you a hand.
¿Son canciones? Sí. Fueron grandes éxitos nuestros.
Come on, taste it.
En los años 80.
Open wide.
Sí, vendimos unas 623 copias. - ¿En Chicago? - No, en Sheboygan.
- Thank you for helping me. - You're welcome. - You want to go flying? - That would be way too expensive. - Maintenance flights are free. - You get everything for free.
Les gustó mucho. ¿Dijo que podía ayudarme? Estoy divagando. Cancelaron nuestro vuelo... ...así que conduciremos. ¿Observa al hombre de amarillo?
Alquilará una camioneta para ir a Milwaukee.
Free phone calls, free lunches . . . You're a scam artist.
Oí que tiene problemas para ir a Chicago...
I've got the town wired. If we were poor, we'd still live like kings.
...para ver a... Sí, mi hijo. Él... Nos fuimos, y quedo allí.
- Fly with me. - I'm not that kind of person.
Si tiene que ir a Chicago, la llevaremos.
- Come on. Are you scared? - No, I'm not scared!
Es de camino a Milwaukee. - ¿Me llevarán? - Seguro, ¿por qué no?
- Where are the parachutes? - There are no parachutes.
Ud. Tiene que llegar. - ¿A Chicago? - Seguro, es Navidad.
Didn't you ever see "The Buddy Holly Story", "La Bamba"? There's one big difference. They were rock legends. You're not. - Is your wing smoking? - No . . . Oh, my God! - It was just a joke to relax you. - I'm just so nervous.
Gracias. Oh, gracias. Si no le molesta la música. No, me encantará.
I feel so out of control. I'll give you your first lesson. Put your hand on my stick.
Oye, Marv. Marv, ¡Marv!
- I'm not touching your stick. - This is not a sexual thing. That feels good, baby.
Mira esto.
Get familiar with the stick. - There you go, you're flying. - I'm flying! I'm doing a good job. This is easy! What a good sensation! - It's like great sex, isn't it? - I personally wouldn't remember.
Creo que nos engañó un mocoso.
- He's pretty tired. - He's had a busy day. - Do you want a drink? - Do you want to watch a movie?
Papá, ¿puedes venir a ayudarme? ¿Te acuerdas del niño que vimos? Vive aquí.
Sus padres deben estar aquí. Está solo. ¿Quieres regresar a la noche? ¿Con el niño aquí?
No es una buena idea. Trabajamos aquí, por esa casa. Desde que la vi, la quise. Vayamos paso por paso.
Descargamos el auto, comemos algo, y regresamos a las 9:00. A las nueve. Cuando esté oscuro. Sí, los niños se asustan de noche.
Tú también te asustas. Sabes que sí.
Stop it!
No, no me asusto.
Stop yelling or your father will give you something to yell about. Knock it off! Princess, you're making my mouth water. I'm hungry.
- Sí, te asustas. - No, no y no. Te asustas. Mamá, ¿dónde estás?
Hold your horses, or I'll knock you from here to kingdom come.
¿Sabe tocar?
You know that dumpster behind the supermarket? Look what I found. A perfectly good head of lettuce, just peel off the outer layers. Who wants a surprise? Could be lunch meat or peaches. The point is this: Just because it's free, don't mean it's no good.
¿Quiere intentar? Vamos, intente. ¡Inténtelo!
- Do we live like kings, or what? - We sure do.
- Disculpe. - ¿Sí? Qué bonitos zapatos.
Again!
Oh, gracias.
Wait a minute.
¿Aún sigue aquí? Es importante que lo vea.
- I'm sorry, I really do want this. - I do, too.
Está subiendo a su auto. Apúrate y lo alcanzarás.
- It's Mikey. - He's asleep. I have to be very clear on the choices I make for him.
¡Qué bajo! ¡Multar a Santa Claus! Lo próximo será la vacuna... ...de la rabia para el conejo de Pascua.
I can't make any more mistakes that are going to hurt Mikey.
Santa, espere. - ¿Podemos hablar? - Rápidamente. Santa llega tarde.
- But I'm crazy about Mikey. - I know that I was leading you on.
Sé que no es el auténtico Santa Claus. Oye, ¿por qué piensas así? Sólo por curiosidad.
You're such a good kisser and I haven't had sex in a long time . . .
- Soy grande y sé ciertas cosas. - De acuerdo.
Goodbye. Please . . . Goodbye.
Sé que trabaja para él. - ¿Puede darle un mensaje? - Adelante.
- Mollie, could I talk to you? - Hold just a minute, please.
Kevin McCallister, 681 Lincoln Blvd. ¿Necesita el teléfono?
Just between you and me, what's with you and Chubby Charles? What do you mean?
No, está bien. Esto es muy importante. Dígale que no quiero obsequios, sólo que mi familia regrese.
Pearlman's doing the bank recs. Rubenstein's doing the quarterlies.
Nada de juguetes. Sólo a Peter, Kate, Buzz, Megan, Linnie y Jeff.
Now Albert's returns are due. So what's with you? I traded Rubenstein two accounts for the Chubby Charles account.
Y a mi tía y mis primos. Y si tiene tiempo, a mi tío Frank, ¿sí? De acuerdo.
I can't do it anymore . . . It's personal. We're accountants . . . we're not personal.
- Veré qué puedo hacer. - Gracias. Espera. El duende se llevó los últimos dulces para su novia.
- I don't . . . - You've worked for him for years.
- No importa. - No seas tonto. Quien visita a Santa, recibe algo.
Now, with all the new tax laws, you desert him.
Abre tu pequeña mano. Ahí tienes.
- You don't understand . . . - I want you up there tomorrow. Don't give me that look. And you, get back to work. Please, give me a second chance. This has been like a bad dream. I felt so guilty leaving Beth and the girls.
- Come tu cena. - Lo haré. Gracias. ¡Maldición!
You've been such an asshole, I'd have to torture you. That's okay. I want you to. - Mollie, Mollie . . . - What? - I'll burst if I don't kiss you. - Tough!
Albert can see you now. - Mollie, how's Mickey? - Mikey. - Is he talking yet? - No. Crawling? I remember Astrid crawling . . .
I'm not interested in your stories. - I've been meaning to talk to you. - I'm here to do your taxes. Eyelash tinting, body wraps, facials . . . - You can't deduct any of this crap. - And the exercise instructor?
Not unless she suffered any injury. What's the little woman been up to? Is Priscilla sick? These doctor bills are for her. Therapy. Beth communicaes with the dead. It really frightens Priscilla.
We're all seeing a psychiatrist now. I've been learning a lot. - I'm happy for you, Albert. - I know you've been through a lot. You've got to believe I love you. I never meant for this to go bad. - It just turned out that way. - It took $20,000 to find that out?
- Do you have a picture of Mickey? - Mikey! - I think about you two every day. - You'd never know it. I try to call, but I can't do it. I'm too ashamed. I'm afraid of what you'll say.
I've been so confused. - He has my eyes. - I know. It's confusing loving someone who looks like someone you hate. Could I see him?
All right. I'll be home this evening. Next time you talk to your mom, put in a good word in for me. Hit me. Hit it again. - No . . . yeah? - Hit it again.
- I know what I'm doing. - Damn! You won again. I told you I could play. I've been thinking about this daddy business.
Feliz Navidad.
I want you to be my daddy. I'll tell Mommy. - Who is it? - Mollie?
¿Puedo sentarme?
- Is Mollie here? - No, she's at aerobics class. - Is Mikey here? I'm his father. - His father?
Ésa es mi nieta. La del cabello rojizo. Tiene tu edad. ¿La conoces?
- Are you the sperm donor? - I'm the kid's father?
No. Eres vecino mío, ¿verdad?
- He's from artificial insemination. - I've known Mollie for years.
Puedes saludarme cuando me veas. No tengas miedo.
- I have a key. - We're changing it.
Se dicen muchas cosas sobre mí, pero ninguna es cierta, ¿de acuerdo?
- What? - That's my kid in there. Let me by.
- ¿Fuiste bueno este año? - Sí.
If you are the father, answer me a few questions. - When was he born? - July third.
¿Lo juras? No. Éste es un lugar para visitar cuando te sientes mal contigo. - ¿Lo es? - Creo que sí.
What's his favourite toy, Fred or Barney? Fred? No, Barney. How many diapers does he go through a day? Six.
- ¿Ud. Se siente mal consigo mismo? - No.
- A father should know. - How much is she paying you?
He sido una molestia. Dije cosas que no debí decir.
- Go play some video games. - Don't give me that shit.
No fui demasiado bueno este año. Vaya.
Come on, Dad. Let's go. Go for the body!
Estoy molesto, porque realmente quiero a mi familia. Aun cuando lo niegue. A veces, hasta creo que no. - ¿Me entiende? - Creo que sí. Lo que sientes por ellos es complicado.
Get out of here!
Sobre todo, mi hermano mayor. Siempre los amarás.
Yes, that feels good.
Pero olvidas que los amas. Puedes lastimarlos, y ellos a ti. No es sólo porque eres pequeño.
- What happened? - Who's Albert?
¿Quieres saber por qué estoy acá? Claro.
- Why, was he here? - Is he Mikey's father?
Vine a escuchar a mi nieta. No puedo venir a la noche. ¿Estará ocupado?
- You lied about the insemination. - He was married.
No. No soy bienvenido. ¿En la iglesia?
Do you love him?
Siempre eres bienvenido aquí. Mi hijo no quiere verme.
- What? - Do you love him? I don't know who I love.
Hace años, antes de que tu familia se mudara aquí...
The only thing that matters to me is who's best for Mikey.
...discutí con él. ¿Qué edad tiene? Es adulto.
Albert is successful, responsible and he's good to his other kids.
Perdimos la compostura, y dije que no quería verlo más.
- I don't want him seeing Mikey. - Don't start pulling this on me.
Él dijo lo mismo. Desde entonces, no volvimos a hablar.
- He has a right to see his son. - Where has he been all year?
Si lo extraña, llámelo. Temo que él no querrá hablar.
- You are not his father. - I'm the closest thing he's got.
¿Cómo lo sabe? No lo sé. Tengo miedo.
Look at you. You're like a big kid.
Disculpe: ¿no está viejo para tener miedo?
Are you responsible enough to be a father?
Se es viejo para muchas cosas. - Pero nunca para tener miedo. - Es cierto.
Is getting pregnant by a married man responsible?
A mi me da miedo el sótano.
- Stop it. - You stop it.
Es oscuro, tiene cosas raras...
I've seen you use Mikey to push guys away, and now you're doing it to me.
...y huele mal. Hace mucho que me molesta. Los sótanos son así.
- Get out! - I live here!
Luego tuve que bajar a lavar... ...y entendí que no es malo. Me preocupaba, pero si uno prende la luz, no pasa nada.
Can a person past a certain age change?
¿A qué te refieres? Debería llamar a su hijo.
Daddy's lipids fell to 1 85.
- ¿Y si no quiere hablar? - Al menos, lo sabrá.
I'm not talking about cholesterol. Can someone become nicer?
Entonces podrá dejar de preocuparse. Ya no tendrá miedo.
I don't know. When you met Daddy at that dance, did you know he'd be a good father?
Aun cuando estoy furioso, hablo con mi papá. Sobre todo, en las fiestas.
- I liked the look of his uniform. - They all wore uniforms.
No lo sé. Inténtelo. Aunque sea, por su nieta.
I didn't like the sailors' bell-bottoms.
Ella lo extraña. Y extraña los obsequios.
You had no idea if he was a mature responsible person.
Le envío dinero. Ojalá mis abuelos fueran así. Siempre envían ropa.
If I thought like that, we wouldn't have had so much fun the first week.
Me regalaron un abrigo con un pájaro. Oh, qué bonito. No para un niño de 2° grado.
You're grossing me out. Don't talk about sex and Daddy.
Te pueden golpear por usar algo así. A un amigo, lo golpearon...
Hi, Lupe.
...por usar pijamas con dinosaurios.
I just want to talk to Mikey for a minute.
Vete a tu casa y piensa... ...en lo que dije.
Hey, Gerber-face, high-five. Look, Mikey . . . I don't know if I can keep coming to see you.
- ¿De acuerdo? - Sí. Fue bueno hablar contigo. Igualmente.
- What's the matter? - It's your mom.
- ¿Qué hará? - ¿Yo?
She's got this crazy idea that I wouldn't make a good father.
Sí, con su hijo. Veremos qué ocurre.
She probably wouldn't have picked my father, either.
Feliz Navidad.
I think he did an okay job. Want to hear some fatherly advice? Hi, Lupe. - The man's in the baby's room. - Okay, I'll write you a check. He said, "Don't hit girls, even if they're asking for it."
Feliz Navidad.
What about pushing them? He'd say, "Finish your meat, you know how much that cost? " The one that sticks out the most was probably . . . "lf your friend jumps off a bridge, does that mean you've got to?"
To this very day, I still use that piece of advice.
It doesn't amount to much. A good father keeps the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy. She called me a big kid . . . She's probably right. You're one year old and my best friend in the world.
Ésta es mi casa, y debo defenderla. PLAN DE BATALLA
Anyway . . . - I'll miss you. - Don't be sad. Here, take this.
- No, I want you to have it. - Okay, thanks. He'll take good care of you. - We're going to see Daddy today. - I was just thinking about James. - The blue or the lamb? - They both look pretty lame.
ALQUITRÁN
- The lamb? - Not lamb, lame! Please don't make me wear clothes with animals on them. I don't like this. It makes me look stupid. - You look great. - I feel like a retard.
Look at this room. Look at these guys. I bet I could take those apart. Little metal things . . . I'll stick them in those little holes. Mollie, hi. This must be Mikey.
Miremos. Luego buscaremos la camioneta.
Hiya, fella. What are you doing?
¿Cómo entraremos?
- Aren't you a handsome . . . - Milk in the eye. Bull's-eye!
Por atrás. Quizás nos deje entrar. Sí, es un niño. Los niños son estúpidos.
It's all right. It's just milk, it won't stain.
Bendice estos nutritivos fideos para microondas...
- He's beautiful. He looks like you. - A lot of people say that. I know the circumstances you had him under were terrible. - But I know it wasn't a mistake. - I bet he's glad to hear that. You will never escape me.
...y a quienes los venden en oferta.
- Mikey, don't do that! - What did I do? Some people don't have the strength to get out certain situations. What are you trying to say? Mikey, don't touch that. I'm saying I still love you and I still want you.
Llegó la hora. No te asustes.
- And what about Mikey? - Count on me. Whatever he needs. He needs a father.
Feliz Navidad, amiguito. Sabemos que estás allí dentro, y que estás solo.
I'm living alone for the first time in 1 7 years. I'm in therapy. I can't be anybody's father now. I need to be by myself. - I've raised my kids. - Raised them? They're 1 1 and 9!
Sí, niño. Vamos, ábrenos. Somos Santa Claus y su ayudante. No te haremos daño. No, no. Tenemos obsequios para ti.
- Have they moved out? - Too much fruit!
Sé un buen niño y ábrenos la puerta.
It wouldn't be fair to Mikey.
¿Qué?
- Is he taking a dump? - No, he's thinking real hard. - I'll get you cleaned up. - Use the washroom in the back. - He'll ask about his daddy. - I want James to be the daddy. Don't do that here. That's a $1 0,000 desk!
¿Qué? ¿Qué? ¿Qué? - ¿Qué sucedió? - Atrapa a ese... Hola.
- Now it's junk! - I thought you'd understand.
¡Sí! ¡Sí! ¡Está armado!
Of course I understand. You're going through a selfish phase. I know you will understand that I'm going through a destructive phase. Let's trash the place. I'm sorry about that stupid outfit.
¡Suficiente! Entraré por adelante. ¡Y tú por el sótano!
I'm sorry I made you meet that mean man. Never again. Every time I take you someplace, people are crazy about you. Yet the person who has a genetic bond to you treats you like a jerk. Everybody loves you. All the kids at the playground.
Ma loves you. Rona loves you. James loves you. Mikey, do you love James? - Give him a call. - Do you want to play telephone? Hello?
It's for you. You take this one, I'll take the other one. This is Lou Franklin, I'm phoning about your grandfather. He's become abusive and violent. - Should I call Health & Welfare? - No, I'll come and pick him up.
- What's going on? - I'm a hostage. He's a mean old bastard! - Look what he did to my arm? - Don't talk to him like that. - They're hiding Dora. - They are not.
- Then where is she? - Sit down. I'll find her for you. Let's get your face cleaned up. You want to look good for her. You're my favourite daughter-in-law. You're smart and a good person. That's why Jimmy loves you so much.
- There you go. - Let's go find James. I'll show you some pictures. Grandpa, did you eat all these candy bars today? - The bastards stole my candy. - We'll get some more.
Oh, niño. Suficiente. Maldito... Maldito...
- Where's the director's office? - Down the hall.
- We're busy. - I'll keep my eye on them for you.
No, esta vez no, mocoso.
I'll be back in a minute. This isn't his usual behaviour. My husband made arrangements. It isn't the orderly's responsibility to control his diet. He requires a private nurse.
Maldito gusano, ¿dónde estás?
No, he doesn't. The orderly was told to give him one candy bar a day.
- He said no problem. - That was Bill. Bill always says no problem. The man can't speak English. - So can Grandpa stay? - Of course. - Thank you. - Thanks for coming down so fast.
¡Sí!
- Hi. - Hi. - Your grandfather can stay. - You didn't have to do that.
- I wanted to do it. - Let me give you a ride home. - Don't bother. - Fine! D.J. , it's time for lunch. Let's go.
¡Le partiré la cabeza!
- Are you okay with him? - Get the hell out of here. Steven and Paulie, they're your cousins. - Hi, Vince. - Hello, Esther. Esther . . . I'd like you to meet my grandson.
Estás muerto, niño.
Hey, there goes James. Where's he going? Maybe he's going downstairs. - They took me to the beauty salon. - Where's the elevator. Going down.
I'll just press all these.
Perfect! I'll just hitch a ride with the fruit cups. There we go. Take her away, boys. - Mikey. - Grandpa, where's Mikey? - He was just here. - How long ago did he leave?
¿Dónde estás, maldito gusano? Harry, ¡ahí voy!
- I'll check the hallway. - I'm calling the police.
Hi, toots. Anyone seen my dad? - That's lda's grandson. - Come on, I'm in a hurry.
¡Oh, no! Tengo miedo. Demasiado tarde, ya estamos adentro. Te atraparemos. Bueno, ¡venga por mí!
- Here, fella, go find your grandma. - Thanks for nothing.
¡Eres un...
When the police get here, will you show them these pictures? All right, I'm on the case now. That is exactly what I need. I could find him in one of those. Let's see if I remember this.
¡Te mataré!
I'll set this thing down right here and get that door open. What was it James said?
Stick this in here . . . There it goes. Move the circle around and we're off. Mikey! Mikey!
¡Mataré a ese niño!
- He's in the back of that car. - Let's get the cab.
¿Y tus zapatos?
- Hey! - Stop!
¿Y ese disfraz de gallina? Estoy arriba, estúpidos. Vengan por mí.
I got this driving thing knocked. Move it!
¿Se rinden o quieren más?
There he is. Look at me. Hey, James, I'm driving! James . . . where's he going?
¡La cabeza! No te preocupes. Te lo atraparé. ¡Sí!
- What are you doing? - I'll cut him off.
Es sólo un niño. Podemos con él.
You'll lose him.
Cállate, ¿quieres? ¿Qué sucede?
I know this alley like the back of my hand.
Te falta un diente. ¿Cuál? Mi diente de oro. Mi diente de oro. ¡Lo mataré! ¡Lo mataré! Si lanzas otra lata, niño...
...te arrancaré las orejas ¡y las herviré en aceite para auto!
Mikey! He's gone!
Emergencias. Hola, están robando mi casa.
Mikey! - You had a little boy in there. - What are you talking about?
Vivo en 656 Lincoln Boulevard. Mi apellido es Murphy.
He's about this big.
No sé qué hay arriba.
- This is a good place to spot him. - Mikey!
¡Ahí está!
Mikey, stop!
¡Te tengo! Lo tengo, Harry.
- James, is that you? - Mikey, don't move.
Lo tengo.
James, Mommy . . .
¡Dame una mano!
Here I come.
¡Lo tengo!
- Mikey! - I'm coming. - Did you see what just happened? - Give me my baby. Are you all right, honey? Let me see you. He doesn't have a scratch on him.
Harry, ayúdame. Lo tengo.
I finally got you both together. I better take him to the hospital anyway. Ma, I want James to be the daddy. - Thanks for all your help. - I'll take you home now.
¿Qué haces?
- Dada. - I think he called you Dada.
Harry, no te muevas. No te muevas.
No, I'm talking to hear myself speak. - He thinks you're his father. - I've spent a lot of time with him.
Marv, ¿qué haces?
He probably thinks we're going to end up together.
¿La maté? ¿La maté? ¿Dónde está? ¿Dónde está? No te preocupes. ¿Qué te parece esto? ¡Idiota!
I hope they don't get stuck together. Should I tell them I need a new diaper? No, I'll wait.
Atrapa a ese niño, antes que... ¿Adónde fue? Quizás se suicidó. Aquí abajo, ¡burros! Atrápenme antes de que llame a la policía.
- ¡Tras él! - Espera. Es lo que él quiere: Que bajemos a su casita, para destrozarnos. ¡Llamará a la policía!
¿Desde el árbol? Vamos. ¿Por la ventana? Por la ventana, no.
- Hi, honey. - Mikey, this is your sister Julie.
¿Por qué? ¿Tienes miedo? Vamos, sal de allí. Vamos.
Say "Hi, Julie." Don't start with me, kid! I've had a day you wouldn't believe.
¡Vamos! - Vamos. Sigue. - Volvamos, Harry. Cállate, Marv. ¡Muchachos!
Miren esto. Retrocede. Retrocede. ¡Allí está! ¡Llamaré a la policía!
¡Espera! Quiere que lo sigamos. Tengo una idea mejor. Hola, amigo. Esta vez fuimos más listos. ¡Ven aquí!
¿Qué harás, Harry? Lo que nos hizo a nosotros. Quemarlo con un soplete. Golpearlo con una plancha.
¡Y también con una lata de pintura! ¡Clavos en los pies! Y le arrancaré sus pequeños dedos, uno por uno. Vamos. Te llevaré a casa.
¡Caray! Esto es grandioso. Fueron listos al dejar el agua corriendo. Ahora sabemos en qué casas robaron. Hace mucho que los buscamos.
English subtitles - IFT
Sí. Somos los "Bandidos húmedos". - Somos los Bandidos... - ¡Silencio! ¡Al auto! Oiga, vamos. Vamos. - ¡No me toque la cabeza! - Vamos.
Soy una mala madre. No, no lo es. No se torture. Esto ocurre. Estas cosas ocurren.
¿Quieres hablar de malos padres? Mírenos. Viajamos 48 ó 49 semanas por año. Casi no vemos a nuestra familia. ¡Caray! Por ejemplo, Joe... ...olvida el nombre de sus hijos.
Y Ziggy no ha conocido al suyo. Eddy... Espero que sus hijos no escriban sobre él. ¿Alguna vez se fue de vacaciones y dejó a su hijo? No.
Pero dejé uno en una sala fúnebre. Sí, fue terrible. Estaba muy perturbado. Mi esposa y yo lo dejamos solo en la sala fúnebre. Todo el día. Cuando regresamos a la noche...
...descubrimos lo sucedido. Parece que pasó todo el día con un cadáver. Se recuperó luego de 6 ó 8 semanas. Se repuso y empezó a hablar de nuevo.
Se recuperan. Los niños son flexibles. Preferiría no hablar. Sólo trataba de animarla. Lo siento.
¿Mami? ¿Mami? ¡Kevin! Feliz Navidad, querido.
Oh, Kevin, lo lamento. ¿Dónde están todos? Oh, no pudieron venir. Lo deseaban pero...
Yo no me quedé dormido ni me babeé encima de ti. - ¡Te babeaste! - ¡Cállate! Kevin, hijo. ¿Cómo estás? Estás bien.
Te amo. ¿Estás bien? Qué bueno que no incendiaste nada. Gracias, Buzz. Un momento. ¿Cómo viajaron?
En el vuelo que no quisiste esperar. - Oh, no. ¡Oh! Gracias. - Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Hay que hacer las compras.
Las hice ayer. ¿Tú las hiciste? Compré leche, huevos y jabón en polvo. - ¿Qué? - ¿De veras?
Qué niño gracioso. ¿Qué más hiciste? Anduve dando vueltas. Suban sus valijas.
¿Fue de compras? Si no puede ni atarse los zapatos. ¿De compras? Cariño, ¿qué es esto? ¡Kevin! ¿Qué hiciste en mi habitación?
Similar videos:



0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202636% match

İkinci Şans Film - Tek Parça | HD (Özcan Deniz & Nurgül Yeşilçay)
Avşar Film
8.1M views 59.6K likes 3.7K dislikes 28 Dec 201836% match

Le Pire Stagiaire : le gérant de gîte (version longue)
Greg Guillotin
21M views 532.3K likes -1 dislikes 02 Jul 201935% match

8. Lacrimosa - Kaamelott - Livre VI / [ENG SUB]
Kaamelott
945.8K views 4.4K likes 223 dislikes 02 Jun 201734% match

СВАДЬБЫ и РАЗВОДЫ - Серия 9 / Мелодрама
EPIC MEDIA
825.5K views 1.8K likes -1 dislikes 10 Jun 201934% match

2. Centurio - Kaamelott - Livre VI / [ENG SUB]
Kaamelott
709.8K views 3.5K likes 143 dislikes 30 May 201734% match

СВАДЬБЫ и РАЗВОДЫ - Серия 8 / Мелодрама
EPIC MEDIA
866.5K views 2.2K likes -1 dislikes 06 Jun 201934% match

6. Nuptiæ - Kaamelott - Livre VI / [ENG SUB]
Kaamelott
706.2K views 3.6K likes 134 dislikes 01 Jun 201734% match

СВАДЬБЫ и РАЗВОДЫ - Серия 12 / Мелодрама
EPIC MEDIA
887.6K views 2.9K likes -1 dislikes 13 Jun 201934% match

Survivre a Guantanamo (L’histoire vraie de Murat Kurnaz)
ELASTIKO
12.7M views 37.2K likes 5.3K dislikes 06 Nov 201534% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202634% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202633% match

LOU! Compilation d'1h - Episode 5 à 8 !! HD Dessin animé
Lou! La Série [Officiel]
732.3K views 4.5K likes 320 dislikes 18 Jan 201733% match

LE JEU DE LA FRIENDZONE !
Amixem
5.4M views 222.3K likes 3.1K dislikes 25 Oct 201733% match

7. Le phare - Kaamelott - Livre V
Kaamelott
861.8K views 3.8K likes 182 dislikes 28 May 201733% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202633% match

祇園囃子 / A Geisha (1953) with English subtitle

2.1K views 38 likes 0 dislikes 23 Jul 202029% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202629% match

Easy Money II: Hard to Kill | ACTION | Full Length Movie | Drama
Bigtime - Free Movies
7.8K views 72 likes 13 dislikes 11 Nov 202028% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202628% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202628% match
50.9K views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202627% match

東京物語 / Tokyo Story (1953) with English subtitle

2.7K views 43 likes 1 dislikes 06 Aug 202027% match
0 views 0 likes 0 dislikes 11 Jun 202627% match

Freaks and Geeks Cap 4 Kim Kelly Is My Friend Ingles subtitulado español Subtitulos CC

3.6K views 68 likes 1 dislikes 07 Sep 201627% match

Drama: Esperamos lo que no vemos (subtitulado)

156 views 1 likes 0 dislikes 04 Jan 201727% match

▶Three Wise Girls◀ [Subs Español]

884 views 19 likes 0 dislikes 18 Jul 201826% match

Violet and Daisy | Suspense Movie | Crime | Action Free Full Movie
Bigtime - Free Movies
19.3K views 224 likes 29 dislikes 08 Aug 202026% match

Minnie and Moskowitz John Cassavetes 1971
Javier Ortiz
6.9K views 78 likes 0 dislikes 06 Mar 201726% match

Mikio Naruse - Ginza gesho 1951 VOS (Ginza cosmetics)

4.5K views 47 likes 1 dislikes 04 Oct 202026% match


Settings Privacy About Contact Donate