Your name is not about YOUYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
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hey what's up Stefanie the English coach here from EnglishFullTime.com
hey what's up Stephanie the English coach here from English full-time comm
in this video we're gonna talk about something that is pretty controversial
in this video we're gonna talk about something that is pretty controversial
I'm gonna go ahead and give my opinion and my take my view on this whole
I'm gonna go ahead and give my opinion and my take my view on this whole
subject and you can do whatever you want whatever works for you but it's
subject and you can do whatever you want whatever works for you but it's
important so let's get into it okay so here's the deal when you meet
important so let's get into it okay so here's the deal when you meet
someone and you introduce yourself how do you say your name because a lot of
someone and you introduce yourself how do you say your name because a lot of
people say their name in their native language and this unfortunately is very
people say their name in their native language and this unfortunately is very
confusing for your listener if you are speaking to somebody who speaks a
confusing for your listener if you are speaking to somebody who speaks a
different language than you do so first of all if you are a non-native English
different language than you do so first of all if you are a non-native English
speaker and you are introducing yourself to an English speaker and you're
speaker and you are introducing yourself to an English speaker and you're
introducing yourself in English the expectation would be that you introduce
introducing yourself in English the expectation would be that you introduce
yourself and your name in an English speaking type of way a way that native
yourself and your name in an English speaking type of way a way that native
English speakers will understand and what a lot of English language learners
English speakers will understand and
do is they don't do this what they do is they say hi my name is and then they say
what a lot of English language learners do is they don't do this what they do is they say hi my name is and then they say
their name in their native tongue right and what that does is it makes the
their name in their native tongue right and what that does is it makes the
native English speaker go I'm sorry what was that
native English speaker go I'm sorry what
or can you repeat that please or I'm sorry how do you say that it creates a
was that or can you repeat that please or I'm sorry how do you say that it creates a
rather awkward situation and then rather than continuing the conversation and
rather awkward situation and then rather than continuing the conversation and
talking about whatever you were going to talk about you end up explaining your
talking about whatever you were going to talk about you end up explaining your
name for the next five minutes and where you're from and your family history and
name for the next five minutes and where you're from and your family history and
all of that stuff okay so if you ever get tired of those conversations chances
all of that stuff okay so if you ever get tired of those conversations chances
are part of it happens because you're introducing yourself in a way that is
are part of it happens because you're introducing yourself in a way that is
screaming hi I'm a foreigner I'm not from here and it makes people kind of
screaming hi I'm a foreigner I'm not from here and it makes people kind of
curious as to what your background is okay so there's some other problems
curious as to what your background is okay so there's some other problems
associated with this and we'll get into that but that that's I guess that's my
associated with this and we'll get into that but that that's I guess that's my
intro okay so the main idea that I want to share here is that when people ask
intro okay so the main idea that I want to share here is that when people ask
you what's your name they're not actually asking you what is the name
you what's your name they're not actually asking you what is the name
that your parents called you when were born that's not what the question
that your parents called you when were born that's not what the question
is the question is actually what should I call you okay and that's actually
is the question is actually what should I call you okay and that's actually
really really important because if somebody is saying hey what's your name
really really important because if somebody is saying hey what's your name
but really they're saying what should I call you if you answer in your native
but really they're saying what should I call you if you answer in your native
tongue okay that's actually an unfair expectation you can't expect them to
tongue okay that's actually an unfair expectation you can't expect them to
pronounce your name in your native tongue because they don't speak your
pronounce your name in your native tongue because they don't speak your
native tongue and you are the ones speaking their native tongue right so my
native tongue and you are the ones speaking their native tongue right so my
rule of thumb is this when you speak a language say your name in that language
rule of thumb is this when you speak a language say your name in that language
so either say your name in the accent of that language or change your name
so either say your name in the accent of that language or change your name
completely so that people of that language can know what they should call
completely so that people of that language can know what they should call
you now a lot of people have huge problems with this and they actually get
you now a lot of people have huge problems with this and they actually get
really offended maybe I offended some people just now but they say oh my gosh
really offended maybe I offended some people just now but they say oh my gosh
what no my name is my identity this is the name that my parents gave me this is
what no my name is my identity this is the name that my parents gave me this is
who I am and I honestly just kind of feel like
who I am and I honestly just kind of feel like
when people say stuff like that maybe you haven't traveled enough or at all
when people say stuff like that maybe you haven't traveled enough or at all
and I know that sounds harsh but it's true because or maybe you haven't
and I know that sounds harsh but it's true because or maybe you haven't
interacted with enough people from different cultures because once you
interacted with enough people from different cultures because once you
encounter this problem again and again and again and again and again and people
encounter this problem again and again and again and again and again and people
cannot say your name that's when you realize hmm maybe it's not about me and
cannot say your name that's when you realize hmm maybe it's not about me and
my name maybe it's about making the other person feel comfortable and
my name maybe it's about making the other person feel comfortable and
helping them know what they should call me plus it's kind of cool to take on
helping them know what they should call me plus it's kind of cool to take on
multiple identities if you will and have you know different names for different
multiple identities if you will and have you know different names for different
groups of people and we have this actually in real life already it's like
groups of people and we have this actually in real life already it's like
your family has nicknames for you but at work they call you something else and
your family has nicknames for you but at work they call you something else and
maybe at school something else I don't know and growing up the same thing
maybe at school something else I don't know and growing up the same thing
happened to me at school I had my regular name Stefanie my family called
happened to me at school I had my regular name Stephanie my family called
me Stef or Stefie sometimes my mom called me Stefie J which was a
me Steph or Stephie sometimes my mom called me Steph EJ which was a
combination of my first name and my middle name
combination of my first name and my
name is Janelle so the J from Janelle she would call me Stefie J and then on
middle name name is Janelle so the J from Janelle she would call me Steffi J and then on
my water polo teams my my teammates would call me by my last name okay so we
my water polo teams my my teammates would call me by my last name okay so we
have we actually in real life we have multiple names that we use and they
have we actually in real life we have multiple names that we use and they
serve different purposes and different functions right depending on the group
serve different purposes and different functions right depending on the group
of people that were with the environment that we're with the expectations that we
of people that were with the environment that we're with the expectations that we
have okay so now let me tell you what my experience was like when I went to
have okay so now let me tell you what my experience was like when I went to
Argentina in Argentina they speak Spanish right and I can't introduce
Argentina in Argentina they speak Spanish right and I can't introduce
myself like hola me llamo Stefanie right I can't go from Spanish to English
myself like hola me llamo Stephanie right I can't go from Spanish to English
because people would be like if he if they honey okay right they don't say
because people would be like if he if they honey okay right they don't say
Stefanie in Spanish that's not how they say it in Spanish they say Estefania
Stephanie in Spanish that's not how they say it in Spanish they say it if I Nia
okay or Estef actually they don't really call me Estef okay they would say
okay or if this actually they don't really call me stuff okay they would say
Estefi right okay now if I think about that in English Estefi I'm like oh my
a diffi right okay now if I think about that in English fiffie I'm like oh my
gosh that is not who I am I am NOT Estefi like that sounds weird but I am
gosh that is not who I am I am NOT a Stephie like that sounds weird but I am
Estefi in Spanish that's who I am and that's what my name is because that's
it defi in Spanish that's who I am and that's what my name is because that's
how it translates and that's how it's easy for everybody to say my name if I
how it translates and that's how it's easy for everybody to say my name if I
required everybody to say my name with my native accent that would be confusing
required everybody to say my name with my native accent that would be confusing
and if I introduced myself all the time with my native English accent that would
and if I introduced myself all the time with my native English accent that would
be confusing as well and that would make other people feel uncomfortable so what
be confusing as well and that would make other people feel uncomfortable so what
I have found works for me and what I encourage my students to do is learn how
I have found works for me and what I encourage my students to do is learn how
to say your name in English learn how to say it with an English accent so when
to say your name in English learn how to say it with an English accent so when
people go hey what's your name you can just tell them your name and move on to
people go hey what's your name you can just tell them your name and move on to
whatever it is that you're going to talk about because I'm sure your name is not
whatever it is that you're going to talk about because I'm sure your name is not
the most important thing that they're there to discuss right now I say this is
the most important thing that they're there to discuss right now I say this is
controversial because not everybody agrees with this point of view and my
controversial because not everybody agrees with this point of view and my
husband does not agree with this point of view one day you guys are gonna meet
husband does not agree with this point of view one day you guys are gonna meet
Renzo on this channel he's awesome but this is I think this is hilarious
Renzo on this channel he's awesome but
because I stand by this opinion so strongly and my own husband doesn't
this is I think this is hilarious because I stand by this opinion so strongly and my own husband doesn't
agree with me my husband's like no this is my name and this is how I want to
agree with me my husband's like no this is my name and this is how I want to
introduce myself and that's fine if he likes introducing himself his name with
introduce myself and that's fine if he likes introducing himself his name with
a Spanish accent to English speakers then he can do that but what I've
a Spanish accent to English speakers then he can do that but what I've
observed because I've seen this happen so many times and I'm just like babe why
observed because I've seen this happen so many times and I'm just like babe why
do you keep doing this like don't you get tired of it basically people say hey
do you keep doing this like don't you get tired of it basically people say hey
what's your name and he goes Renzo and they're like what Renzo and then
what's your name and he goes friend saw and they're like what Lorenzo and then
he eventually after saying his name a couple times he goes but you can call me
he eventually after saying his name a couple times he goes but you can call me
Renzo or Ren and they go oh okay okay okay Ren that's great
Renzo or ran and they go oh okay okay okay Wren that's great
because that's what people are truly asking they're not really asking what
because that's what people are truly asking they're not really asking what
your name is they're saying what can I call you because we we've been given
your name is they're saying what can I call you because we we've been given
names so that we can know what to call people around us right for what other
names so that we can know what to call people around us right for what other
people can call us so anyhow I have had this conversation with Ren so many
people can call us so anyhow I have had
times I'm just like babe when you're with English speakers and they ask what
this conversation with Wren so many times I'm just like babe when you're with English speakers and they ask what
your name is just say your name is Ren you know how to say Ren and native
your name is just say your name is Ren you know how to say Ren and native
English speakers do not use the "R" sound okay they can't roll their tongue very
English speakers do not use the sound okay they can't roll their tongue very
well or at least a lot of them and it's just awkward and and not only that but
well or at least a lot of them and it's just awkward and and not only that but
they don't know how to perceive the sound because they're not used to
they don't know how to perceive the
hearing it so when they hear what I saw they're not sure what they're hearing
sound because they're not used to hearing it so when they hear what I saw they're not sure what they're hearing
and automatically their brain is going like oh my gosh I don't understand this
and automatically their brain is going like oh my gosh I don't understand this
I need to make sense of this what did he just say okay and people freak out and
I need to make sense of this what did he just say okay and people freaked out and
it's uncomfortable so back when I used to do private English classes I don't do
it's uncomfortable so back when I used to do private English classes I don't do
private classes anymore one of the first things that I would ask
private classes anymore
the students is what's your name so we can get to know each other and they
one of the first things that I would ask the students is what's your name so we can get to know each other and they
would almost always tell me their name in their native language and every
would almost always tell me their name in their native language and every
single time I would have to have this conversation with them where it's like
single time I would have to have this
okay what should I call you because I don't want to understand your name I
conversation with them where it's like okay what should I call you because I don't want to understand your name I
don't know how to say it I don't feel comfortable making those sounds in
don't know how to say it I don't feel comfortable making those sounds in
English this is an English class you're speaking with an English speaker this is
English this is an English class you're speaking with an English speaker this is
not your native tongue so what should I call you and then we'd have to have this
not your native tongue so what should I call you and then we'd have to have this
whole conversation I would have to let them know look
whole conversation
basically this entire YouTube video that's why I'm making this YouTube video
I would have to let them know look basically this entire YouTube video
because I've told this to so many people already that I'm like I'll just make a
that's why I'm making this YouTube video because I've told this to so many people already that I'm like I'll just make a
video about it but basically if you want to have that conversation about where
video about it but basically if you want to have that conversation about where
you're from and your name and blah blah blah and talk about that for five
you're from and your name and blah blah
minutes then go ahead and say your name in your native language but if you want
blah and talk about that for five minutes then go ahead and say your name in your native language but if you want
to just say your name and quickly move on with the conversation then learn how
to just say your name and quickly move on with the conversation then learn how
to say your name in an English way okay using English sounds so I will give you
to say your name in an English way okay using English sounds so I will give you
a quick example of this in Spanish if someone's name is Andrea okay and that I
a quick example of this in Spanish if someone's name is Andrea okay and that I
add that's hard for an English speaker to say I speak Spanish so I can say it
add that's hard for an English speaker to say I speak Spanish so I can say it
but instead of saying hi my name is Andrea okay which is difficult for an
but instead of saying hi my name is Andrea okay which is difficult for an
English speaker you could say hi my name is Andrea Andrea instead of forcing all
English speaker you could say hi my name is Andrea Andrea instead of forcing all
of the people around you to learn how to say Andrea you can learn to say Andrea
of the people around you to learn how to say Andrea you can learn to say Andreea
Andrea you can say Andrea or Andrea or Andrea or Andrea whatever you like like
aundrea you can say Andrea or Andrea or Andrea or Andrea whatever you like like
that's the cool part about it you can kind of say it the way you want to say
that's the cool part about it you can kind of say it the way you want to say
it but you're making it easier for people around you now I've rambled on
it but you're making it easier for people around you now I've rambled on
and on and on about this for several minutes as if this is a new thing but
and on and on about this for several minutes as if this is a new thing but
this is actually not new and I discovered this when I had lots of
this is actually not new and I discovered this when I had lots of
students from Asia because as you guys know students in China Japan etc the
students from Asia because as you guys know students in China Japan etc the
languages they speak and the sounds that they make if you want a native English
languages they speak and the sounds that they make if you want a native English
speaker to say those sounds it's like forget it there's no way
speaker to say those sounds it's like forgot it there's no way
okay we can't read the language we can't understand the sounds so a lot of native
okay we can't read the language we can't understand the sounds so a lot of native
speakers from these countries especially professionals they have two names they
speakers from these countries especially professionals they have two names they
have their English name and they have their name that they were given at birth
have their English name and they have their name that they were given at birth
okay and so when I do classes with these students and I say what's your name they
okay and so when I do classes with these students and I say what's your name they
say oh you can call me Jennifer or you can call me Emily or my English name is
say oh you can call me Jennifer or you can call me Emily or my English name is
Jennifer my English name is Emily okay whatever it is that's very common and I
Jennifer my English name is Emily okay whatever it is that's very common and I
love that because it's like okay boom I can call you Emily great let's move on
love that because it's like okay boom I can call you Emily great let's move on
let's talk about what we're here to talk about now this
let's talk about what we're here to talk
is especially important in professional environments and a lot of professionals
about now this is especially important in professional environments and a lot of professionals
take on an English name if they are working with English speakers okay
take on an English name if they are working with English speakers okay
because again it just eliminates a barrier right if your name is so
because again it just eliminates a barrier right if your name is so
different and so strange in the English language that people don't know how to
different and so strange in the English language that people don't know how to
say it at all that creates a barrier and I actually have a friend who started a
say it at all that creates a barrier and I actually have a friend who started a
resume writing company he's the CEO of the company and I was talking to him
resume writing company he's the CEO of the company and I was talking to him
about this one day and he said yeah sometimes people in HR they get so just
about this one day and he said yeah sometimes people in HR they get so just
nervous about you know calling people that have weird names that they might
nervous about you know calling people that have weird names that they might
just look at your resume and move it to the back of the list and save you for
just look at your resume and move it to the back of the list and save you for
last they might contact you last or not at
last they might contact you last or not at
all just because they're like I don't even know what this person's name is or
all just because they're like I don't even know what this person's name is or
how to say it and it makes them uncomfortable and people are gonna do
how to say it and it makes them uncomfortable and people are gonna do
what's easiest first right so is that fair no but it's the way that it is so
what's easiest first right so is that fair no but it's the way that it is so
we have to observe these things realize that they exist and then just decide
we have to observe these things realize that they exist and then just decide
accordingly if you want to be like Renzo and make everybody try to pronounce your
accordingly if you want to be like Renzo and make everybody try to pronounce your
name the way it is in your native language you can do that just like he
name the way it is in your native language you can do that just like he
does that and if you want to take my advice and just learn how to say your
does that and if you want to take my advice and just learn how to say your
name in English the way an English speaker would say it or create a new
name in English the way an English speaker would say it or create a new
name for yourself entirely you can do that too at the end of the day all
name for yourself entirely you can do that too at the end of the day all
behavior creates reactions right and more behavior and it's just gonna be
behavior creates reactions right and more behavior and it's just gonna be
you're doing something and people are gonna figure out how to handle it so as
you're doing something and people are gonna figure out how to handle it so as
long as you're aware of what's going on in other people's minds etc then you can
long as you're aware of what's going on in other people's minds etc then you can
decide what is the best way for you to handle this but again my advice is learn
decide what is the best way for you to handle this but again my advice is learn
how to say your name in English and/or adopt an English name for yourself just
how to say your name in English and/or adopt an English name for yourself just
because it makes things a lot easier right it's like hey what's your name
because it makes things a lot easier right it's like hey what's your name
boom you tell me your name great let's move on with the conversation and
boom you tell me your name great let's
there's no weirdness or awkwardness or anything like that
move on with the conversation and there's no weirdness or awkwardness or
okay so like said kind of controversial hopefully
anything like that okay so like said kind of controversial hopefully
nobody got offended because we looked at this from all different angles and like
nobody got offended because we looked at this from all different angles and like
I said you can do whatever you want okay and with that said I just want to let
I said you can do whatever you want okay and with that said I just want to let
you guys know that we are working on a complete pronunciation course and if
you guys know that we are working on a complete pronunciation course and if
you're interested in that just go to the description there's a sign-up link for
you're interested in that just go to the description there's a sign-up link for
anybody who's interested in joining me on the beta version of this course the
anybody who's interested in joining me on the beta version of this course the
beta version is going to be the first round of the course where I test
beta version is going to be the first round of the course where I test
everything with the students I can only accept a small number of students in the
everything with the students I can only accept a small number of students in the
beta version but like I said if you're interested go ahead and sign up on the
beta version but like I said if you're interested go ahead and sign up on the
pre-registration list just so you know when it's ready I'm really excited about
pre-registration list just so you know when it's ready I'm really excited about
it and it's gonna solve problems like this like you know knowing how to say
it and it's gonna solve problems like this like you know knowing how to say
your name and an english-speaking way and stuff like that alright so that's it
your name and an english-speaking way and stuff like that alright so that's it
you guys and I hope you learned something in this video let me know what
you guys and I hope you learned something in this video let me know what
you think what your opinion is down in the comments and if you want tell us
you think what your opinion is down in the comments and if you want tell us
your name right so we can see is this a strange name would we have problems
your name right so we can see is this a strange name would we have problems
pronouncing this in English or not there was one time you guys I kid you not I
pronouncing this in English or not there was one time you guys I kid you not I
got an email from somebody named HarS#!t may even have to beep out that name on
got an email from somebody named heart I may even have to beep out that name on
the audio because sometimes YouTube doesn't like when we cuss and there is a
the audio because sometimes YouTube doesn't like when we cuss and there is a
cuss word in that name it's Har$#!t okay now for an English speaker that is
cuss word in that name it's hard okay now for an English speaker that is
strange right I wouldn't want to go around introducing myself as hi my name
strange right I wouldn't want to go around introducing myself as hi my name
is Har$#!t right and I mean no offense absolutely no offense to anybody with
is Hart right and I mean no offense absolutely no offense to anybody with
that name or anything like that it's just that a word in one language might
that name or anything like that it's just that a word in one language might
mean something completely different in another language and we need to be aware
mean something completely different in another language and we need to be aware
of that and sensitive to it because it can create a lot of embarrassment for
of that and sensitive to it because it can create a lot of embarrassment for
people a lot of issues and see now I'm I need to stop this video because I'm
people a lot of issues and see now I'm I
going on and on and on there's so much I could say about this anyways I hope you
need to stop this video because I'm going on and on and on there's so much I could say about this anyways I hope you
guys get my point let me know what you think in the comments and yeah I hope
guys get my point let me know what you think in the comments and yeah I hope
this helps take care bye
this helps take care bye
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