How To Make A Sandwich Lilly Singh English Spanish

How To Make A SandwichYouTube↗ IA↗(long shot)
Comedy 11.1M views 722.2K likes 9.3K dislikes 21 Nov 2016 Show Contributors 2

Lilly Singh 14.2M subscribers N/A YouTube↗

Contributed subtitles

Spanish Kharis Alvarado

Chinese (Hong Kong) sze nga,sharon fung

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- You know, people often ask me,

Sabes, personas me preguntan frecuentemente,

why don't I reply to negative comments.

porqué no respondes a comentarios negativos.

And that's because I only have two sides.

y es por que yo solo tengo dos lados

Number one, a nice positive unicorn.

Numero uno, un lindo positivo unicornio

And two, a savage that will absolutely destroy you.

y dos, una salvaje que probablemente te va a destruir

Allow me to demonstrate.

Déjame demostrartelo

Comment: woman aren't funny.

Comentario: Las mujeres no son graciosas.

Shouldn't you be in the kitching making me a sandwich?

No deberías estar en la cocina haciéndome un sándwich?

You see, like this confuses me.

Ves, esto me confunde

Why would you need me to make you a sandwich?

Porqué me necesitas para hacer un sandwich?

That's not hard to do, I'll even teach you.

No están difícil de hacer, incluso te voy a enseñar.

(bouncy piano music)

Como hacer un sándwich (para sexistas)

Hello, first you take out your ingredients.

Hola, primero saca tus ingredientes

Here's what you'll need to make the sandwich.

Acá esta lo que vas a necesitar para hacer un sándwich

Bread, salami, honey mustard, cheese, mayo, onions, spinach.

Pan, salami, miel mostaza, queso, mayonesa, cebolla, espinaca

Please note that I'm using fresh ingredients

Por favor nota que estoy usando ingredientes frescos

to make up for your expired thought process.

para compensar tu expirada forma de pensar.

Step one, on a cutting board, chop up your onion.

Paso uno, en una tabla para cortar, corta tus cebollas

Now, if you start to painfully tear up, don't worry.

Ahora, si empiezas dolorosamente a llorar, no te preocupes

Now you know how your mother feels

Ya sabes como se siente tu mamá

when she sees how you turned out.

cuando ve en lo que te has convertido.

Now you just a little bit of onion

Solo pon un poco de cebolla

because you don't wanna overpower the sandwich.

por que no queremos dominar al sándwich

Now while cutting, you'll notice that the onion

Mientras que cortas vas a notar que la cebolla

has layers just like your insecurity.

tiene capas como tu inseguridad

Next, you wanna take your bread and separate

Lo siguiente, es cortar el pan tu vas a querer

the two pieces so we can put stuff in between them.

separarlo en dos piezas para que puedas poner mas cosas dentro

Now I know you're not familiar with things

Yo se que no estas familiarizado con que

separating for you, because you never get laid,

algo se separe de ti, porque nunca te acuestas con alguien.

but don't worry, use your strong, muscular,

pero no te preocupes, usa tus musculoso, fuerte

well-exercised right arm and grab some mayo.

y bien ejercitado brazo derecho para agarrar la mayonesa

Today I'm using chipotle mayo because spicy foods

Hoy estamos usando mayonesa de chipotle por que comida picante

are associated with pain relief

está asociada con aliviar dolor

and you clearly live a very sad, sad life.

y es claro que tu vives una vida muy muy triste.

And what you wanna do is you wanna spread a thin layer

Y lo que vas a querer hacer después es esparcir una capa muy fina

of mayo across your bread, 'cause that way

de mayonesa en el pan, por que de esa manera

at least your sandwich can believe in equality.

al menos de esa forma tu sándwich puede creer en igualdad.

Up next, you wanna take some spinach and put it on

Después vas a tomar la espinaca y ponerla en

your bread and don't worry about washing the spinach

tu pan y no te preocupes por lavar la espinaca

because dirt belongs in the trash

por que la suciedad pertenece a la basura

and that's exactly what you are.

y eso es exactamente lo que eres.

You see, now spinach is good for you because spinach

Ves, la espinaca es buena para ti por que la espinaca

contains protein and if you eat a lot of protein,

contiene proteína y si tu comes mucha proteína

then maybe one day you too can become strong enough

tal ves algún día tu también puedas ser suficientemente fuerte

to possibly fight for the right to vote or bear children.

para posiblemente luchar por el derecho a votar o dar a luz

But until then, keep eating your spinach.

pero hasta que eso pase, sigue comiendo tu espinaca

Once you've placed a few pieces of spinach

Una ves ya hayas puesto unos pedazos de espinaca

on your bread, it's time for the salami.

en tu pan, es tiempo para el salami

Now salami is a type of cured sausage and fun fact,

Salami es un tipo de carne madurada y dato curioso,

the length of these sausages can range anywhere from six

el largo de un salami puede variar entre 15 cm

inches to two inches so really, either way,

hasta 5 cm entonces de cualquier forma,

much larger than any sausage you're used to handling.

son mucho mas largos que cualquier salchicha que tu estés acostumbrado a manejar

In fact, right now would be a good time to take

De hecho, ahora sería un buen momento para tomar

your salami and whisper to it, "Goals."

tu salami y susurrarle "Expectativa"

Now you wanna take your honey mustard and apply it

Ahora vas a tomar tu miel mostaza y aplicarla

on top of your salami in thin strokes.

encima de tu salami en trazos finos

Now the sweetness in the honey mustard

La dulzura en la miel mostaza

will not only add a great kick to the salami,

no solo va a darle un gran empujón al salami

but it'll also help out balance how salty you are.

pero también ayudar a balancear cuan salado eres.

Now to finish off your sandwich, add a slice of cheese.

Ahora para terminar este sándwich, agrega una rebanada de queso

I personally prefer skim milk, zero percent cheese

Yo prefiero queso descremado, 0% queso

because that's exactly how much your comment matters.

por que eso es cuanto importa tu comentario

It's also a good idea to purchase

También es una buena idea comprar

your ingredients from local farmers.

tus ingredientes de granjeros locales

That way, you know that your money

De esa manera, tu sabes que tu dinero

is going towards a cause you believe in.

esta yendo a algo en lo que crees

For example, if you don't think women are funny,

Por ejemplo, si tu no piensas que las mujeres seamos graciosas

you should continue to watch my videos and leave a comment.

tu probablemente deberías continuar viendo mis vídeos y dejando un comentario

That way, I can continue to buy nice things.

de esa manera, yo puedo seguir comprándome cosas lindas

To finish off your sandwich, close it.

Para terminar este sándwich, ciérralo.

Something you're not used to doing with your mouth.

Algo que no estas acostumbrado a hacer con tu boca.

If you'd like, you can also cut your sandwich

Si quieres, también puedes cortar tu sandwich

in two, just like how I cut your BS.

en dos, así como yo corto tu mentiras

Pour yourself a nice big glass of ice cold water

Sírvete un gran vaso de agua helada

to help with your newly-obtained burns.

para ayudar a curar todas esas nuevas quemaduras

Most importantly, don't forget to enjoy.

Y lo mas importante, no te olvides de disfrutar.

And you see, that's why I don't

Ves, por eso es que

respond to negative comments.

yo no respondo a comentarios negativos

Because I prefer to be a nice, kind unicorn.

Prefiero se un lindo y amable unicornio.

But in the interest of balance and sheer entertainment,

pero para mantener el balance y puro entretenimiento,

I've decided that 99.9% of the time,

He decidido que el 99.9% del tiempo,

I will focus on those wonderful, supportive comments.

Me voy a enfocar en los maravillos y positivos comentarios

But that other 0.01% of the time,

pero el otro 0.01% del tiempo

I'll unleash the savage.

Desataré a la salvaje.

Hmm, maybe this should be a new series.

Mmm, tal ves esto debería ser una nueva serie.

Hey, I hope you enjoyed this video,

Hey, espero que te haya gustado este video,

it was so much fun to film, just to put it out there,

fue muy divertido filmarlo, solo para aclarar,

this video is not directed to anyone else

este vídeo no esta dirigido a nadie más

besides sexist people so I'm not attacking all men,

que a las personas sexistas, entonces no estoy atacando a todos los hombres,

men who support women, I dig you, you da bomb.

Hombres que apoyan a otros hombres, me gustan, ustedes son lo máximo.

If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up,

Si te gusto este vídeo, por favor dale un me gusta,

like actually give it a thumbs up,

y enserio dale me gusta,

so if you like it, I'll do more, that's how works.

y si te gusta, voy a hacer mas, así es que funciona

Comment below letting me know your favorite part.

Comenta abajo y dime tu parte favorita.

If you wanna check out my last video,

Si quieres mirar mi ultimo video, esta acá

it is right over there, it is three ways my childhood

Son las tres maneras en las que mi infancia

screwed me up, three of many, many.

me ha arruinado, son tres de muchas.

My second vlog channel is right over there,

Mi segundo canal de vlogs esta acá.

I daily vlog, so check that out.

y yo hago vlogs diarios, así que míralos.

Also if you wanna pre-order my book,

Y también si quieres pre-ordenar mi libro,

the link is in the description, you can also press that eye

el enlace va estar en la descripción, también puedes hacer clic en la "i" arriba.

and the last thing I'll tell you before I shut up

y la ultima cosa antes de que me calle

is on December 1st, my 12 Collabs of Christmas are starting,

es que el 1 de diciembre, mis 12 colaboraciones de navidad van a comenzar

if you don't know what that is, it's 12 collaborations

si tu no sabes que es eso, son 12 colaboraciones

in the month of December and they're

en el mes de diciembre y son

all surprises so stay tuned for that

todas sorpresas entonces es pendientes a eso

Subscribe, so you can keep up to date,

Suscribete, para que puedas estar al día,

'cause I'm making videos every Monday and Thursday

porque yo hago vídeos cada lunes y jueves

but in December, it's going to be so much more often.

pero en diciembre va a ser mucho mas frecuentemente

It's gonna be a freaking party.

Va a ser una fiesta!

One love Superman, that is a wrap and zoop.

One love Superman, that is a wrap and zoop.

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