A Ridiculous Recap Of Pokemon Ruby Kilian Experience English English (auto-generated)

A Ridiculous Recap Of Pokemon RubyYouTube↗ IA↗(long shot)
Gaming 2.5M views 51.3K likes 1.4K dislikes 22 Dec 2015 Show Contributors 7

Kilian Experience 761K subscribers Sweden YouTube↗

Contributed subtitles

English CenturyBlade

Russian fedorflip

French LorePlayingGame

German Beykn

Portuguese (Brazil) Pedro Bulling

Spanish (Spain) güt5551

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In the Pokémon Universe, you can throw your kids out when they are 12.

in the Pokemon universe you can throw your kids out when they are 12 but if

But, if you use your bike indoors, you get the DEATH PENALTY.

you use your bike indoors you get the

(Rest in fucking peace headphone users, oh my God.)

They release two Pokémon games every time and I picked Ruby, like everyone,

they released two Pokemon games every time and I picked Ruby like everyone

because that is an epic monster that can eradicate worlds,

because that is an epic monster that

and that is... that's an overpriced aquarium fish.

could eradicate worlds and that is that's an overpriced aquarium fish the

The game starts with a Professor, explaining what Pokémons are.

game starts with a professor explaining

A Professor of Pokémon, huh? Parents must be proud...

what pokemons are professor of Pokemon huh parents must be proud you get picky

You get to pick a gender, I picked a girl... because the guy's name is Brendan,

gender I pick the girl because the guy's

who names their kids Brendan??

name is Brandon who names their kids

At least in the first game, the name was Red, and that's a conversation starter.

Brandon at least in the first game the name was red and that's a conversation

Speaking of Red, I guess I should name her Ruby? But that's a stripper name.

starter speaking of red I guess I should name her Ruby but that's a stripper name

So I went with Spike. Spike is a cool name, for cool people.

so I went with spike spike is a cool

We see Spike in a moving van.

name for cool people we see spike in a

There are lots of epic video game openings, but you can't beat the moving van.

moving van there are lots of epic video game openings but you can't beat the

Also, why is she in the back?! I'm starting to believe this whole "throwing kids out at 12" is not a common thing.

moving man also why she in the back I'm starting to believe this whole throwing kids out at 12 is not a common thing it's just that

It's just that her parents hate her.

her parents hate her

Welcome to your new hometown, Littleroot, that you are going to be in for seven minutes.

welcome to your new hometown little root that you are going to be in for seven

This is the new house, where three people are supposed to live, but there is only one bed.

minutes this is the new house where three people are supposedly but there's

In the Pokémon world, families are a bit... TOO close.

only one bed in the Pokemon world families are a bit too close through a

Through a television broadcast, we find out that the reason we moved here was because the dad has become the new Gym Leader two towns away.

television broadcast we find out that the reason we move there was because the dad has become the new gym leader two

You would expect him to move there, but Hoenn has a serious housing shortage.

towns away you'd expect him to move there but Hoenn has a serious housing

This small town of two houses and a lab has three homeless people.

shortage this small town of two houses and the lab has three homeless people

Our neighbor is the Professor, so we go there, but he is not there.

our neighbor is the professor so we go there but he's not there there is and if

There he is!! And if we don't save him, he is going to have his arm ripped off by a rabid dog.

we don't save him his goal to have his arm ripped off by a rabid dog we get to

We get to pick a Pokémon. I am a big fan of classical art and my favorite kinds are...

pick Pokemon I'm a big fan of classical art and my favorite kind are memes from

memes from 2006. So, I picked Mudkip.

2006 so I picked Mudkip you kill the

You kill the cute doggy, then you get to keep the Mudkip, then you get to face your rival, Brendan,

cute doggy then you get to keep the Mudkip then you get to face your rival

who has a Pokémon, that yours is weak against,

Brandon who has a Pokemon that yours is

and this is the actual reason I picked a girl character, because now I can easily call Brendan a massive cunt.

weak against and this is the actual reason I picked a girl character because now I can easily call Brandon a massive

After you humiliate him, the Professor tells you to go meet your dad in the Petalburg Gym.

count after you humiliate him the professor tells you to go meet your dad in the petalburg gym spike you need to

(as Norman) "Spike, you need to defeat 8 Gym Leaders, like me, to gain access to the Pokémon League...

defeat eight Gym Leaders like me to gain access to the Pokemon League and right

and right now, you're too awful to defeat me."

now you're too awful to defeat me I

"I could defeat my dad when I was six."

could feed mind that when I was six you

"You are an embarrassment to our family, and to our ancestors, and I hate you."

are an embarrassment to our family to our ancestors and I hate you so we're

So we're off to beat the first Gym Leader in Rustboro City.

off to be the first gym leader in

But first, we've got to go through a forest.

rustboro city but first we got to go

Here we meet a member of Team Magma, an organized crime syndicate that has realized that there is just no money in heroin,

through a forest here we meet a member of Team Magma and organized crime syndicate that has realized that there is just no money in heroin and if you

and if you want to make some serious cash, you've gotta increase the planet's landmass.

want to make some serious cash you gotta increase the planets landmass when you

When you defeat these guys, why do they give you money?

defeat these guys why do they give you

The first Gym is a Rock Gym, owned by...

is it a bribe the first gym is a Rock Gym owned by rocks and I don't allow

I don't allow puns in my videos... The first Gym is owned by Ace. A cool name... for cool people.

ponds in my videos the first gym is owned by ace cool named for cool people

And she goes down in three hits.

and she goes down in three hits why is

Why is this necessary to get into the Pokémon League?

this necessary to get into the Pokemon

Showing THIS at the entrance should LOWER my chances.

League showing this at the entrance should lower my chances the next gym is

The next Gym is on an island. How will we get there?

on an island how will we get there you

You see, the CEO of a million-dollar corporation wants you to deliver a letter,

see the CEO for million dollar corporation wants you to deliver a

and he's not gonna stand in line in the post office, and telephones are for weak people...

letter and is not gonna stand in line in the post office and telephones are for

and while we are on this boat, let me tell you my Pokémon story.

weak people and while we're on this boat let me tell you my Pokemon story I used

I used to watch the second series. There were two series'.

to watch the second series there were

One was horrible. It was about this kid named Ash,

two series one was horrible it was about this kid named ash who said I'm gonna do

who said "I'm gonna do something!", Then he did fuck all for 7,000 episodes.

something then he did off for 7,000

But the other one was the greatest thing.

episodes but the other one was the

It was about these kids, they had Pokémon,

greatest thing it was about these kids

then they penetrated a giant vampire. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

they had Pokemon then they penetrated a

I did also play the games.

giant vampire I did also play the games

I remember being very sad when I realized that Pokémons weren't real.

I remember being very sad when I realized that pokemons weren't real then

Then my uncle told me not to be so sure, and that's when he took me to my very first dogfight.

my uncle told me not to be so sure and that's when he took me to my very first

It was mesmerizing. Like the games came to life.

dog fight it was mesmerizing like the

That was sixteen years ago. If you want to feel really old,

games came to life that was 16 years ago

the release of Ruby is closer to the moon landing than today.

if you won't feel really old the release of Ruby is closer to the moon-landing

On the island, we find the second Gym, a Fighting-type Gym,

than today on the island we find the second gym a fighting-type gym the least

the least creative Pokémon type.

created Pokemon type I mean there are

I mean, there are Water Pokémons, there are Fire Pokémons, there are Psychic Pokémons...

water pokemons or fire pokemons or

then there are Pokémons who f-fight...

psychic pokemons then there are pokemons

I kick his arse.

who fight all right kick his arse turns

Turns out your fists can't protect you against throwing mud.

out your fists can't protect you against

When defeating this guy, you can now use the HM move, Flash.

throwing mud when defeating this guy you can now use the HM move flash HM moves

HM moves are moves you can use outside of battle.

or moves you can use outside of battle

They are mostly useless, can't be removed, and are most likely a torture experiment, created by Nintendo.

they are mostly useless can't be removed and are most likely a torture experiment

You deliver this letter to this blue-haired freak.

created by Nintendo you'd leave this letter to this blue-haired freak but the

But the CEO also wanted you to deliver some parcel to a man named Captain Stern,

CEO also wanted you to deliver some posh to a man named captain stern in

in Slateport City.

Cannot really blame him for that one, though. I'd trust a random twelve-year old over UPS.

can't really blame him for that one though I'd trust a ram twelve-year-old over UPS we get to

We get to Slateport, we go to the Museum, give the package to Stern...

Slateport go to the museum give the

then we are robbed.

package to stern then we are robbed

There is, apparently, no law enforcement in this entire country.

there is apparently no law enforcement in this entire country so maybe invest

So, maybe invest in some security, Captain.

in some security captain after you

After you defeat those two, the leader of Magma shows up.

defeat those two the leader of magma

(as Maxie) "Stop being in our way. Increasing the planet's landmass is just a harmless hobby."

shows up stop being in our way increasing the tenants landmass is just

"Also, this guy in my Golf club won't shut up about his beach house."

a harmless hobby also this guy in my golf club won't shut up about his beach

"Won't be... so braggy... soon... Robert..."

house won't be so braggy soon Robert

Then they leave, and I fished on every corner, and caught the aquarium fish.

then they leave and I fished on every corner and caught the aquarium fish the

The next Gym is in Mauville City.

next gym is in Mobile City

It's an Electricity Gym...

it's an electricity gym and water is

and Water is weak against Electricity...

weak against electricity but apparently

but, apparently, Lightning can't protect you against getting mud in your face.

lightning can't protect you against

Then, for some reason, the story completely stops,

getting mud in your face then for some reason the story completely stops and

and the game tells you to spend a couple of hours walking across the ENTIRE NATION.

the game tells you to spend a couple of hours walking across the entire nation

Finally, you get to a cave, where Team Magma has stolen a Meteorite from Professor Cosmos.

finally you get to a cave where Team Magma has stolen a meteorite from

Okay, first of all, BUY A GUN.

professor cosmos okay first of all buy a

Second, "Professor Cosmos"??

gun second professor cosmos do you seriously change

Did you seriously change your name when you got your Ph.D?!

your name when you got your PhD then you

Then, you have to travel to the top of a volcano,

have to travel to the top of a volcano

where you, once again, meet the leader of Team Magma.

where you once again meet the leader of

(as Maxie) "I'm going to use this energy-filled meteorite to make this volcano go 'BOOM!'"

team magma I'm going to use this energy field meet you right to make this volcano go boom so that in a hundred

"So that in a hundred years, there will be a bit more fully habitable land."

years there will be a bit more fully

"Obviously hundreds of people and Pokémon will die."

habitable land obviously hundreds of people and pokémon will die but you can

"But you can stop all this by defeating my three Pokémon right now, no pressure."

stop all this by tweeting my three Pokemon right now no pressure

"Aw, darnit! No mass murdering today!"

ah darn it no man's murdering today then

Then, he leaves, and did... not take his meteorite with him...

he leaves and did not take his meteorite

You reach a city that can only be reached by going down from the volcano,

with him you reach a city that can only be reached by going down from the

so their economy should be in shambles... but it doesn't look like it...

volcano so the economy should be in shambles but it doesn't look like it but

but then you find out they have a...

then you find out they have a herb store

and it all makes sense.

and it all makes sense there's a gym

There's a Gym here too. It's a Fire Gym,

here - it's a fire gym and what I did in

and what I did in there goes against the Geneva Convention.

there goes against the Geneva Convention

Time for us to face Dad. The theme of Dad's Gym is... item use,

time for us to face that the theme of dads gym is item use and that has got to

and that has got to be the worst theme I have ever heard.

be the worst theme I've ever heard how

How did that come about?

did that come about congratulations on

(as Pokémon HR Guy) "Uh, congratulations on becoming a Gym Leader, now what will be your Gym's theme?"

becoming gym leader now what will be

(as Norman) "I'll need you to call up the other Gym Leaders, and tell them that they can't use items anymore,

your gyms theme I need you to call up the other gym leaders and tell them that they can't use

and if they disagree, I'm gonna sue 'em!"

anymore and if they disagree I'm gonna

Defeating your dad gives you the ability to traverse water.

sue him defeating you that gives you the ability to traverse water ruby has a lot

Ruby has... a lot of water.

I wouldn't lower a review score because of it...

I wouldn't lower a review score because

because that's STUPID.

of it because that's stupid botanic

But, damn it, that's the seventeenth time!

that's the 17th time kinda makes you

Kinda makes you sympathize with Team Magma.

sympathize with Team Magma speaking of

Speaking of Team Magma, you find them once again, northwest of the Electricity Gym.

Team Magma you find them once again north-westerly electricity Jim they are

They are robbing a weather station.

robbing a weather station I don't

I don't understand why. They are weather scientists, not NATO.

understand why they are weather scientists not NATO the next Jim is in

The next Gym is in Fortree City, a treehouse city.

fortree city a treehouse city for tree

"Why you don't outsource city planning to a preschool."

why don't all source city planning to a

It has a bird Gym.

preschool it has a bird Jim sadly the

Sadly, the Game Boy Advance is not powerful enough to render all of the bird shit.

Game Boy Advance is not powerful enough to render all the bird off the

After that's done, you get informed to travel to Mt. Pyre,

that's done you get informed to travel

and on top of that mountain, you meet the Magma Team Leader again.

to Mount pyre and on top of that mountain you make team magma team leader

(as Maxie) "Ha, you're too late! To wake up an ancient, maybe-not-real Pokémon, I have stolen this precious Blue Orb from these elderly folks." "Ugh... what am I doing with my life?"

Yong ha you're too late to wake up an ancient maybe not real pokemon I have stolen this precious blue orb from these elderly folks what am i doing with my

Then, the old people give Spike the opposite "Red Orb".

life then the old people give spike the opposite blue orb could you imagine if

Could you imagine if the Mona Lisa was stolen again, and the Louvre was like,

the Mona Lisa was stolen again and the

"Well that sucks, who wants Aphrodite?!" (The accent really makes it sounds like "Aprodatie")

Lu was like well that sucks

You have to go back to Captain Stern,

who wants a good eye T you have to go

and then you see Team Magma steal a submarine, and then...

back to cocoons turn and then you see Team Magma steal a submarine and then

Wait! Did they just... ... I have so many questions...

wait they ask I have so many questions

It is decided that Spike should attack Team Magma's base head-on.

it is decided that spike should attack team magma's base head-on sounds like a

Sounds like a suicide mission, but it turns out not only the good guys have forgotten to invest in some security.

suicide mission but it turns out not only the good guys have forgotten to

I am literally robbing these people right now.

invest in some security I am literally robbing these people right now

Am... am I the bad guy?

I'm a mighty bad guy master ball well I

"Master Ball"? Well, I guess I'm using it!

guess I'm using it but we are too late

But, we are too late, they have already left,

they have already left and they are

and they are going to use the Blue Orb, to awaken that Red Monster,

going to use the blue orb to awaken that

so that it can evaporate the world's water, and billions of people will die.

red monster so that it can evaporate the world's water and billions of people

But I can't go after them, because I need to beat this Gym first,

will die but I can't go after them because I need to beat this gym first so

so that my Pokémon are allowed to go underwater.

that my Pokemon are allowed to go

Not that I need to save the world or anything, you twats.

underwater not that I need to save the world or anything you we find the sub we go

We find the sub, we go in, and (as Maxie) "Oh no, the Red Monster is awake and we can't control him!"

in and oh no the red monster is awake and we can't control him waking him

Waking him makes the sun more bright in...

makes the Sun more bright in this area

THIS area. Not a hole in the Ozone Layer, just, the sun is brighter. How does that even work?

not a hole in the ozone layer yes the Sun is brighter how does that even work

Does the Sun look down on Earth, and when he sees that Red fella he's like,

does the Sun look down on earth and when he sees that red fellow

(as The Sun) "OY! FOKK THAT GUY!"

like oh that guy this is actually

This is actually somewhat epic for Game Boy Advance, and

somewhat epic for game boy advance and

(Battle Music starts) OH, COME ON!!

oh come on not that it matters you can

Not that it matters, you can trade a level 4 sloth with this raccoon,

trade a level four slot with this

and then get the cover model.

raccoon and then get the cover model

There's one more Gym and, spoiler alert, I win.

there's one more Jim and spoiler alert I

Then you go through a cave that feels like the longest in video games,

win then you go through a cave that means like the longest in video games

and finally, we are here, in front of the Pokémon League and I am too weak.

and finally we are here in front of the Pokemon League and I am too weak time

Time for a Training Montage! (warped Digimon theme music intensifies)

for a training montage

Now, I have defeated the Elite Four... I might have overtrained for this...

now I have defeated the Elite Four I might have over trained for this but now

But now I am about to face the champion...

I'm about to face the champion and it's

and it's the blue-haired guy we delivered the letter to! What a twist!!

the blue haired guy would leave the letter - what a twist

I didn't overtrain for this! Everyone else undertrained!

I didn't over train for this everyone

I liked Ruby, but it needs way more water,

else on the train I liked Ruby but it needs way more water

Worst game ever,

102 10 worst game ever and that is the

And that is the Kilian Experience.

kilian experience subscribe for more

Subscribe for more garbage. So, I just hit 10,000 subscribers, but my only dream since starting this channel is

garbage so I hit 10,000 subscribers but my only dreams in starting this channel

to do a Q&A video with unrelated Call of Duty footage in the background.

is to do a Q&A video with unrelated Call of Duty footage in the background leave

Leave questions in the comments!!

questions in the comments

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