Quarantine StereotypesYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Sports  65.1M views 1.1M likes   27 Apr 2020
Dude Perfect 62.3M subscribers United States YouTube↗


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All right, guys.
Bien, chicos.
Good call.
Buena llamada.
See you next week.
Los veo la próxima semana.
(SHOUTING) Hey, hon, can I get, like, five minutes?
(GRITANDO) Amor, ¿me das cinco minutos?
Huh?
¿Ah?
The kids are a little much right now.
Los niños me sobrepasan un poco.
[FUNK MUSIC]
[MÚSICA FUNK]
I'm not that worried about it.
No me preocupa tanto.
It's not that crucial, honestly.
En realidad, no es tan importante.
It's one quarter, guys.
Es un trimestre, chicos.
You know what?
¿Saben qué?
Can you all just give me a minute?
¿Me dan solo un minuto?
Just I got to go outside.
Solo debo ir afuera.
[GRUNTS]
[GRUÑIDOS]
What were you saying?
¿Qué estaban diciendo?
[SMALL ENGINE WHINING]
[RUIDO DE MOTOR]
Oh, come on, Bill.
Oh, vamos, Bill.
You got to trim the hedges now?
¿Tienes que recortar los bordes ahora?
[FUNK MUSIC]
[MÚSICA FUNK]
Maybe we should watch a show.
Quizás deberíamos ver un programa.
Duh.
Obvio.
Hey, didn't you wear that yesterday?
Oye, ¿no te pusiste eso ayer?
[LAUGHTER]
[RISAS]
(MANIC TONE) I can't wait to watch another rerun
(TONO FRENÉTICO) No me aguanto a ver otra repetición
of the championship.
del torneo.
Who do you think's going to win?
¿Quién crees que va a ganar?
I know, Alabama.
Lo sé, Alabama.
The entire Harry Potter series is even better upside down.
Toda la serie de Harry Potter es incluso mejor verla al revés.
That'd be, like, crazy if, like, a wife fed their husband
Sería loco si una mujer alimentara a un tigre
to a tiger, right?
con su marido, ¿no?
Yeah, that'd be really crazy.
Sí, eso sí sería loco.
Like--
Como...
[MUSIC STOPS]
[SE DETIENE LA MÚSICA]
I mean, like, you would never do that.
Digo, nunca harías eso.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
[RISA NERVIOSA]
(DISMISSIVELY) No.
(CON DESDÉN) No.
Right?
¿Cierto?
Right.
Cierto.
[NERVOUS CHUCKLE]
[RISA NERVIOSA]
OK, you didn't say anything, so I was like--
Bien, no dijiste nada, y pensé...
[FUNK MUSIC]
[MÚSICA FUNK]
[BEEP]
[PITIDO]
Beginning sanitation process.
Iniciando proceso de sanitización.
[HISSING]
[SISEO]
Honey, I'm home.
Cariño, llegué a casa.
Start the three-day countdown on these groceries.
Inicia el conteo regresivo de tres días para esta comida.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
I always knew I was a LEGO guy.
Siempre supe que era de los LEGOS.
You got to try ribs.
Tienes que probar las costillas.
They take up, like, half your day.
Te tardas la mitad del día.
The two greatest whip-crackers to ever
Los dos latigueros más grandes de la historia,
live, Indiana Jones and soon-to-be me.
Indiana Jones y yo del futuro próximo.
Who knew working on engines was so fun?
¿Quién diría que trabajar con motores fuera tan divertido?
[WHIP CRACKS]
[CHASQUIDO DE LÁTIGO]
(SHOUTING) Hah!
(GRITOS)¡Ah!
Did you get a load of that, Bill?
¿Te gustó eso, Bill?
No one cared who I was till I put on the mask.
A nadie le importaba quien era hasta que me puse la máscara.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
This one's pretty good.
Esta esta bastante buena.
I just forgot to make eye holes.
Solo me olvidé ponerle agujeros para los ojos.
Got attacked by birds in the parking lot.
Me atacaron los pájaros en el estacionamiento.
Best one yet, but not super breathable.
Es la mejor hasta ahora, pero no se puede respirar mucho.
Who knew a pot lid would work--
Quién diría que la tapa de una olla funcionaría...
[SNEEZES]
[ESTORNUDO]
I didn't think about that.
No pensé en eso.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Hey, man.
Hola.
You can just leave it right there.
Puedes dejarla allí.
Good seeing you.
Fue bueno verte.
Yeah, you too.
Sí, a ti también.
Enjoy the day.
Disfruta el día.
I just cleared this an hour ago.
Pero si despejé esto hace una hora.
I'm going to eat so healthy.
Voy a comer tan sano,
By the time this is over, my friends
que para cuando esto termine,
won't even recognize me.
mis amigos apenas me reconocerán.
It's not like this thing's going to last for a month,
No es como si esto durará un mes,
so this is just a quick detour.
así que es solo un desvío rápido.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
(SHOUTING) Mom, DoorDash says my Blizzard's here.
(GRITOS) Mamá, DoorDash dice que mi Blizzard llegó.
They're at the door right now.
Están en la puerta ahora.
Hey, want some pizza.
Oye, quiero pizza.
Oh, this is a biscuit.
Oh, esta es una galleta.
[CHUCKLES]
[RISAS]
Here you go.
Aquí tienes.
No, that's mine.
No, esa es mía.
I don't share.
Yo no comparto.
[CHUCKLES]
[RISAS]
Everybody's thinking it's China.
Todos piensan que es China.
But you know who's really been quiet about all this?
Pero, ¿sabes quién se ha quedado calladito con todo?
Canada.
Canadá.
Think about that.
Piensa en eso.
This is a 5G cell tower problem.
Es un problema de torre 5G.
You know, everybody's blaming bats.
Sabes, todos culpan a los murciélagos.
But I'm not sure it's not just kale chips and almond butter.
Pero no estoy seguro que no sea solo hojuelas de col y mantequilla de almendras.
I'm still holding strong, it ain't from this planet.
Me mantengo fuerte, no es de este planeta.
(FROM OTHER ROOM) Babe, we need you.
(DE OTRA HABITACIÓN) Cariño, te necesitamos.
So does my squad.
Y mi escuadrón también.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Night, love.
Buenas noches, cariño.
[LIGHT CLICKS OFF]
[INTERRUPTOR DE LUZ]
[R&B MUSIC]
{MÚSICA R&B]
All right, boys.
Bien, chicos.
Where we dropping?
¿Dónde nos desplegamos?
Gym's closed, but not this gym.
El gimnasio está cerrado, pero no este gimnasio.
[SMACK]
[GOLPE]
[GURGLING]
[GORJEO]
(SHOUTING) Dig, dig, come on.
(GRITANDO) Cava, vamos, cava.
Your mom is weak.
Su mamá es débil.
Your mom is Netflixing right now.
Su mamá se ejercita con Netflix ahora.
(BELLOWING) Come on.
(BRAMANDO) Vamos.
Arm circles, Lucy.
Círculos con los brazos, Lucy.
Arm circles.
Círculos con los brazos.
Lucy, listen to your sister.
Lucy, escucha a tu hermana.
Arm circles.
Círculos con los brazos.
John.
John.
Adam.
Adam.
Good to see you, my man.
Bueno verte, hermano.
You too.
A ti también.
How's the family?
¿Cómo va la familia?
Never better.
Como nunca.
Awesome.
Genial.
Hey, enjoy it.
Oye, disfrútalo.
Stay safe out there.
Cuídate.
Yeah, you too.
Sí, tú también.
Expecto patronum.
Expecto patronum.
Expecto patronum.
Expecto patronum.
How's your mom?
¿Cómo está tu mamá?
Great.
Genial.
She's doing good.
Le va bien.
Adam, how's it going, man?
Adam, ¿cómo vas, amigo?
I'm good, John.
Estoy bien, John.
How are you?
¿Cómo estás?
Great.
Genial.
[SLURPING NOISE]
[RUIDO DE SORBETE]
Good to see you.
Es bueno verte.
Yeah, you too.
Sí, a ti también.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Yeah, it's time.
Sí, es la hora.
[SNIPPING]
[RECORTES]
(DEJECTED) Oh, I didn't know I had a mole there.
(DESMORALIZADO) Oh, no sabía que tenía un lunar allí.
Oh, wow.
Oh, guau.
What's photosynthesis?
¿Qué es la fotosíntesis?
So, um, photosynthesis--
Eh, la fotosíntesis...
Plants.
Plantas.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Photosynthesis, just to explain it quickly and easily to you
Fotosíntesis, de forma rápida y fácil para explicarles,
guys, is the process by which green plants
es el proceso mediante el cual las plantas verdes
and some other organisms use sunlight to synthesize food
y otros organismos usan la luz solar para sintetizar alimento
from carbon dioxide and water.
del dióxido de carbono y agua.
So--
Entonces...
[CLAPS]
[APLAUSOS]
--next question.
Siguiente pregunta.
[RECORDER PLAYING CLOSING STRAINS OF "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"]
[GRABADORA TOCANDO ÚLTIMO COMPÁS DE "FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS"]
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Package delivery.
Entrega de paquete.
You want me to bring it in?
¿Desea que lo lleve adentro?
Yeah, that'd be great.
Sí, sería genial.
Have a good one, Codes.
Que tengas buen día, Codes.
Oh, Ty?
Oye, ¿Ty?
I could barely recognize you.
Apenas te reconocí.
Was it the mask?
¿Por la máscara?
Well, no.
Bueno, no.
Pretty good TP tower you got there.
Buena torre de papel higiénico que tienes.
(STAMMERING) They were gifts.
(TARTAMUDEO) Fueron regalos.
You guys aren't, like, one of those stockpiler families,
Ustedes no son como esas familias que apilan cosas,
right?
¿cierto?
Oh, us?
¿Nosotros dices?
No.
No.
We-- no.
Nosotros... no.
Box was pretty light.
La caja estaba bien liviana.
What was in this one?
¿Era esta?
Those are light bulbs.
Esas son ampolletas de luz.
Light bulbs?
¿Ampolletas?
Light bulbs.
Ampolletas.
Not toilet paper, right?
¿No es papel higiénico?
No.
No.
Why don't I cut it open?
¿Por qué no la abres?
No, you don't need to check.
No, no es necesario revisar.
It's not a heavy lift for me, honestly.
De verdad, no es pesado para mi.
Can you please not?
Podrías no hacerlo, ¿por favor?
Ty.
Ty.
So if I take this box, tip it upside down,
Si tomo esta caja, la doy vuelta,
there'll be shattered glass everywhere.
habría vidrio roto por todas partes.
(DEFENSIVELY) OK.
(A LA DEFENSIVA) Bien.
Hey, how are those at-home workouts going?
Oye, ¿cómo van esos entrenamientos caseros?
You talking to me?
¿Me hablas a mi?
No, the other chubby guy behind you.
No, al otro gordito detrás tuyo?
There's not another--
No hay otro...
[ROARING]
[RUGIDO]
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
[SHOUTING UNINTELLIGIBLY]
[GRITOS INCOMPRENSIBLES]
(SHOUTING) Let's see if this spaceship can fly.
(GRITANDO) Veamos si esta nave espacial puede volar.
[CRASH]
[ESTALLIDO]
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
[SIGUEN LOS GRITOS]
This is the only thing that kept me from going crazy.
Esto es lo único que impidió que me volviera loco.
What have you got out here?
¿Qué tienes aquí?
Don't touch it.
No lo toques.
[BANGING]
[GOLPES]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[VIDRIO ROMPIÉNDOSE]
Oh, gosh.
Oh, Dios.
[CRASH]
[ESTRUENDO]
That was a limited edition.
Era edición limitada.
Oh, you know what?
Oh, ¿sabes qué?
I think I chipped your paint right here.
Creo que piqué la pintura aquí.
[SPRAY PAINT HISSES]
[SISEO DE PINTURA EN SPRAY]
He knows where I live now.
Él sabe donde vivo ahora.
I hate this place!
¡Odio este lugar!
[BELLOWING]
[BRAMIDOS]
I'll give you a box of donuts to stop.
Te doy una caja de donas si te detienes.
[BELLOWING]
[BRAMIDOS]
[CRASH]
[ESTALLIDO]
Oh, come on!
¡Oh, vamos!
I'm never going to financially recover from this.
Nunca me recuperaré financieramente de esto.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
(SINGING) I'm a savage.
(CANTANDO) Soy un salvaje.
Classy, bougie, ratchet.
Con clase, sofisticado, chulo.
Man, I nailed that one.
Esa si salió bien.
Son, would you help me put this on the new Tic Tac app?
Hijo, ¿me ayudas a poner esto en la nueva App de Tic Tac?
Yeah, absolutely.
Sí, absolutamente.
[SMASH]
[SE HACE AÑICOS]
(SHOUTING) No.
(GRITANDO) No.
Wow, that was really ratchet.
Guau, eso si fue chulo.
Neighborhood stroll number 14.
Caminata por el vecindario número 14.
Killing our daily step totals.
Rompimos nuestro total de pasos diarios.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Never seen Buzzcut here pre-quarantine.
Nunca había visto a Buzzcut aquí haciendo pre-cuarentena.
(NERVOUSLY) Oh, yep, hey, ooh.
(CON NERVIOS) Oh, sí, oye, uh.
Get on this side, get on this side.
Hazte a este lado, a este lado.
Distance, please.
Distancia, por favor.
We got a baby.
Tenemos un bebé.
Say, hey, we should hang out when this is all lifted.
Oye, deberíamos reunirnos cuando se acabe todo esto.
Yeah, well, yeah, after, for sure, for sure.
Sí, bueno, claro, después, claro, por supuesto.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
Get it, get it, get it.
Recógelo, recógelo.
Come on.
Vamos,
[SPRAYING]
[SONIDO DE SPRAY]
OK, get it.
Bien, recógelo.
[SPRAYING]
[SONIDO DE SPRAY]
You amateurs.
Novatos.
We already sprayed our eggs.
Nosotros ya rociamos nuestros huevos.
See a dog, post a dog.
Ves un perro, publica un perro.
You guys ever seen a dog?
Chicos, ¿alguna vez han visto a un perro?
I know I'm just a regular guy, but I'd
Sé que soy un chico común,
like to nominate Leonardo DiCaprio, Post Malone,
pero me gustaría nominar a Leonardo DiCaprio, publicar Malone,
and let's go Oprah.
y vamos Oprah.
See a rock, sit on a rock.
Ves una roca, siéntate sobre una roca.
(TO SELF) That one's kind of silly.
(A SÍ MISMO) Esa salió tonta.
I might not post that.
No debería publicarla.
This is going to be so fun.
Esto será muy divertido.
I cannot believe we just did that.
No puedo creer que hiciéramos eso.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
[DOG BARKING]
[LADRIDOS DE PERRO]
Don't look at me.
No me mires.
[SQUISH]
[APLASTA]
Ugh.
Uh.
(MIMICKING WIFE) Oh, I think it's great time to get a dog.
(IMITANDO A LA ESPOSA) Oh, creo que es un gran momento para traer un perro.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Sí, claro.
Ho ho ho ho.
Jo, jo, jo, jo.
(SHOUTING) Honey!
(GRITANDO) ¡Cariño!
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
All right, we got everybody?
Bien, ¿estamos todos?
Awesome.
Fantástico.
Thanks for hopping on, guys.
Gracias por unirse, chicos.
We'll try and keep this quick.
Intentaremos hacer esto rápido.
Update us on last week, how that went.
Pongámonos al tanto de la semana pasada, cómo salió todo.
As far as an update--
Para ponerse al tanto...
[AUDIO SKIPS]
[SALTO DE AUDIO]
Everything was tra--
Todo salió ma...
[AUDIO SKIPS]
[SALTO DE AUDIO]
[SPEAKING IN FAST-FORWARD]
[HABLA EN ADELANTADO]
You're cutting out a little bit.
Te oyes cortado.
[DIGITAL GROWL]
[GRUÑIDO DIGITAL]
And we've lost him.
Se fue.
OK.
Bien.
Oh, Dave, are you frozen?
Dave, ¿te congelaste?
[CLAPS]
[APLAUSOS]
I got you.
Te engañé.
Oh, you know I did.
Oh, sabes que sí.
OK, I thought I mentioned last week,
Bien, pensé que había dicho la semana pasada,
the jokes aren't playing as well on here.
las bromas no salen tan bien aquí.
So Rick, we know you're not in space.
Oye, Rick, sabemos que no estás en el espacio.
Guys, please just if we can focus just for a second,
Chicos, intentemos concentrarnos por un momento, por favor,
we'll get this done, and then we can all go back
terminaremos esto, y podremos todos regresar
to whatever we're doing.
a la que sea que estábamos haciendo.
Jim, what have you got for us?
Jim, ¿qué tienes para nosotros?
You're on mute, Jim.
Estás en silencio, Jim.
(LOUDLY WITH BABIES CRYING) Can you hear me now?
(FUERTE CON BEBÉS LLORANDO) ¿Me oyes ahora?
What's in the background?
¿Qué sucede atrás?
What I was saying is Q1--
Lo que decía era que el trimestre 1...
Go back on mute.
Vuelve a silenciarte.
We'll get an update later.
Después nos ponemos al tanto.
Yeah, I'm going to go mute.
Sí, me silenciaré.
Man, I wish I could Zoom away from my boss right now,
Ojalá pudiera alejarme del Zoom de mi jefe ahora,
am I right?
¿no es así?
Jim, you're not on mute now.
Jim, no estás silenciado ahora.
OK?
¿Bien?
On a side note, I would just like
Como nota aparte, solamente quisiera
to point out how attentive that Robert
indicar lo atento que Robert
has been this whole meeting.
ha sido durante esta reunión.
I appreciate that.
Aprecio eso.
And that's the kind of thing that is going to get you
Y son ese tipo de cosas las que les consiguen
guys raises at the end of the year.
los aumentos a fin de año.
Yeah, I mean I'm shocked if I'm ever up by noon.
Sí, digo, me impresiona estar despierto antes del mediodía.
I say we drop at Lumber.
Yo digo que vayamos a Lumber.
[R&B MUSIC]
[MÚSICA R&B]
[BLEEP]
[PITIDO]
(SHOUTING) Mom, I ordered a Reese's.
(GRITANDO) Mamá mandé a pedir un Reese.
Stop the DoorDash guy.
Detén al chico de DoorDash.
[LAUGHING]
[RISAS]
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