A PIOR ESCOLHA DA MINHA VIDAYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Entertainment  3.3M views 263K likes 1.4K dislikes   24 Mar 2015
Cellbit 6.7M subscribers Brazil YouTube↗


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Hi.
Fala galera,
Hi there guys! Cellbit here, and welcome to another video.
eu sou o Cellbit e bem vindos
In this video, we'll play a game called... "Don't Drink the Expired Milk"
a mais um video E o vídeo de hoje é de um jogo chamado não beba
And this would be a normal game, a normal video, if I hadn't make... a choice.
o leite estragado e hoje
seria só mais um jogo comum
Um vídeo comum, se eu não tivesse feito uma escolha
Why Cellbit?
por que, cellbit?
WHY CELLBIT?
por que cellbit?!
Don't Drink the Expired Milk! Whoa, such a pretty start screen, huh?
não beba o leite estragado. nossa que menu incrível! olha como é bonito, o leite
Dat milk.
It's expired.
Estragado
Let's begin the adventure.
Vamos começar a aventura
You are Jake, a common deenager.
Você é Jake,um ADELECENTE comum
"deenager"... You were spending your free time watching videos of funny cats on YouTube.
Você passa seu tempo livre assistindo videos de gatinhos engraçados na internet
My videos! funny cats... (puns you won't understand if u don't speak portuguese)
Os meus vídeos!!! "gatinhos engraçados" *PIADAS GALERA
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA mmm goin away.
Eu vou embora
Suddenly, you felt thirsty.
Don't worry, I have delicious coffee here.
Derrepente você fica com sede Não se preocupe, eu tenho um café delicioso aqui.
You decided to drink some milk. You poured some into a glass and took a good sip, only to realize the milk tastes foul!
"Você decide tomar um pouco de leite. Você bota um pouco de leite num copo e toma um bom gole, apenas para perceber que o leite está estragado.
You checked the expiration date and realized it's definitely time to buy some fresh milk. You headed towards the nearest grocery store.
Você olha a data de validade e percebe que definitivamente tá na hora de comprar mais leite." E você vai em direção ao mercado mais próximo."
That's me!
Olha eu!
awww so cute
* voz fina* Ah que bonitinho "Ugh! Eu não estou me sentindo muito bem... eu não devia ter bebido aquele leite... Ahhh! Estou meio tonto."
WAT
QUE????
WHATHEFUCK!!
*risada* Que porra é essa?
Walking down the street! The song's kinda good. nanananana...
Estou andando nas ruas. Essa música é legal! Ta nã nãn nãn... Que que isso?
What's that? Dang, I'm so crazy. Some crazy blow down here.
Caralho, tô muito louco, velho. Fumei um crack muito pesado. "Objetos pontudos são letais."
Watch out for the Pointy ObjAHGAH Congratulations, you are dead!
Cuidado com os objetos pontu... *grito* "Parabéns! Você está morto."
Da hell is that? Is this game too easy for you? Try Hardcore Mode!
Que que é isso aqui??? "Esse jogo é muito fácil pra você? Tente o modo hardcore! No modo hardcore, não tem checkpoints e tem bolas de fogo perigosas em todos os lugares.
Wondering if I'll activate Hardcore Mode?
Ativar o modo hardcore?" Se eu vou ativar o modo hardcore?
Hell obvious.
Óbvio!
Activate! When you activate, you can't go back...
Ativa! Vambora! "Assim que você ativar, não tem mais volta."
*Cellbit got a message from the future*
(Música tensa)
Past Cellbit...
(Música triste) Cellbit do passado... Cell... Cellbit do passado!
This is future me! Please, don't do that mistake.
Esse sou eu do futuro, por favor, não cometa esse erro.
Don't press that button, Cellbit. No, don't do that mistake. Answer "no".
Não aperte esse botão, Cellbit! Cellbit... Não cometa esse erro, não...
Please, Cellbit...
Diga não. Por favor, Cellbit. *gemidos*
You'll regret it so much...
Você vai se arrepender tanto.
*Back to the present* YES. HARDCORE MODE'S BEEN ACTIVATED. C'MON, ASSHOLE.
Sim! Hardcore Mode ativado.
I AM CRAZY.
Vambora, caralho. EU SO É LOKO!
Yea, I regret my choice.
E-Eu acho que me arrependi.
Woo!
Ow!
I did it. Cool.
Consegui. Beleza.
Alright, the beginning is kinda hard. pretty hard, but we can do it, we are the-
Ok. Esse começo é meio díficil, é bem díficil. Mas a gente consegue. A gente consegue.
DAMN.
A gente tem o poder... Caralho...
did it
Consegui...
AH! I MISSED IT!
AH! EU ERREI! CÚ!
ASSHOLE! Man why dat cat in the beginnin'?
Mano, que que esse gato aqui no começo??!! *riso*
Why did I activate the Hardcore? Maybe I have some mental problems...
Caralho, por que eu botei esse modo hardcore? Eu sou doente da cabeça, velho.
I think I'm gonna be stressed. I just just JUST THINK I'll be stressed on this game.
Beleza. AAH!! *BAM* Ai, ai... Acho que eu vou me estressar com esse jogo. É, eu acho, EU ACHO, só acho que vou me estressar com esse jogo.
Dang fuckin' shit I DIED HERE?!?
*É verdade Cellbit* Puta que pariu, morrer aqui?!!!
we can do it mother...
Pula aqui.
FUCKER OF FUCKING HELL
A gente consegue, filh... PUTA QUE O PARIU!
That's impossible dude
Não é possível, velho.
DANG I JUMPED HELL AH FUCK
E-Essa... Puta, eu pulei, ah, vai se foder.
Cool. C'mon. I JUMPED WELL THERE FUCKING STUPID GAME
Beleza! Vai, ó, ó... EU PULEI, VAI SE FODER JOGO LI- Vai, vai, vai. Pula.
How the heck I can't go first through this anymore?
Como que eu passei de primeira nessa porra e agora eu não passo mais??!!? (cochichando) Não é possível, velho, não é possível
FUCK THE HECK OF MAH DICK
Vai tomar no meu pau!
I put the Hardcore cause I'm sick. Now never going back. Go to the end of this shit!
Eu que botei no modo hardcore porque EU SOU UM IMBECIL e agora não tem mais volta... agora eu vou até o final dessa porra!
I have to stay here for my whole life no lie
Nem que eu tenha que ficar aqui pro resto da minha vida Mentira *gritos* Tá, tá
*Cellbit putasso*
Remember, no checkpoints.
Lembrando que não tem checkpoints *riso maníaco*
Drink that fuckin expired m...
Vai se fuder...
BRO, NO WAAY FUCK THAT
MEU, NÃO É POSSÍVEL, VELHO AAAA IUUUAAA
wooOo
*RIP pessoal de fone de ouvido*
oOOoOOOOO Oooow. hahaha... what was that...?
*risos* O que que foi isso?
Licking the fire just for making things a bit HOTTER.
Nossa, eu dei aquela lambidinha no fogo só pra ... pra deixar o clima um pouco mais quente Um pouco mais *barulho da boca do Cellbit*
Well played. Well played WELL PENI-
"Well played"? WELL PLAYED MEU PENIS!
♪ I am such a fucking retard.
(cantando) Eu sou a porra de um imbecil...
Why did I activate, that Hardcore Mode? ♪
Por que que eu liguei... esse modo hardcore?
Whop! Cool..
Opa! Beleza...
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
HMMMMMMMMMM
Yeees dude
Aê, muleque!
AAAH!
*grito*
GOIN' HOT!
GOSTOSO!
YASS!
YAS!
Now what?
*grito agudo*
be care-
E agora? Muito cuida-
Not Mario. Not Mario Not Mario.
Mario não!
Fucking shit. Shit's coming on...
Mario, não! Mario não! Puta que pariu, lá vem merda véi...
A Goomba. NOT GONNA TOUCH THAT MOTHERFUKER. GET AWAY.
Tem um goomba... Eu não vou encostar nesse filho da puta! Sai!
Why did I drink this milk, man?
Porque que eu bebi essa (?) leite vei?
What's in here?
O que é que tem aqui?
No way to jump
Não tem como pular...
AAAAA I SHOULD HAVE USED GOOMBA. NOOO! COME BACK GOOMBA PLZ GOOMBA. I SHOULD HAVE HOPPED ON UUUU!
AAAHH ERA PRA EU TER USADO O GOOMBA NÃÃÃOOO VOLTA GOOMBA! POR FAVOR GOOMBAAAAAA ERA PRA EU TER PULADO EM VOCÊÊÊÊ
HELP ME CAT
AHHHHH
Shouldn't take any 30 seconds for getting through th
Gato! Me ajuda gato! Essa porra não era pra ter demorado nem trinta segundos
SASH NAAA
pra passar dessa...
PA PA PAAAA
*BAM* SASSSHHH NAAHHH PÁ PÁ PÁ (acho que você também tomou leite estragado Cellbit)
Bro, seriously. seriously.
Mano... Serião vei, *serião 4X* vei
That's not hard. It's annoying. Annoying. U should stay.
Não é difícil, é chato...
EVERY.
É chato tu ter que ficar...
MAN.
TODA
ANNOYING.
MANO! É CHATO! CHATO!
♩ I'ts a party on my apartment
*Chamada de acasalamento do Cellbit* (cantando baixinho e agudo) Hoje é festa festa lá no meu apê...
Go fuck yourself, fucking stupid game ♩
Vai se fuder... Jogo do... caralho...
'm sure that this game's provider did not get through this in Hardcore Mode.
E- Eu tenho certeza que o criador desse jogo não passou essa porra no modo hardcore!
Got out ass
N... N... Não
Goomba, c'mon u bastard.
Passei pucuba (?) Vem cá seu corno
NO.
NÃO
FUCK YOU.
VAI SE FUDER! VAI SE FUDER!
FUCK YOU TRASHY GAME
JOGO LIXOOOO
It comes back! I shouldn't have killed myself, man... I did it!
Ele volta! Não era pra eu ter me matado velho!
DO NOT READ THIS SI...
Consegui!
Too late!
Não leia esse... essa placa! *BOOM*
It's joke yup joke
É piada mano, é piada...
C'mon, jump...
Vem cá, pulei... pula
all r... Not gonna mess anything...
NÃO VOU MEXER EM NADA!
There's gonna be shit, there's gonna be shit, there's gonna be shit, there's gonna be shit...
Vai ter merda aqui 4X Ó! Ó! Ó! Ó! Ó!
I PRESSED SPACE.
*fap fap fap*
Fuck, so angry...
EU APERTEI ESPAÇO! Caralho que raiva mano...
C'MON C'MON FUCKIN' BROWN PENIS.
Vem viadinho! Vem! Vai! Pênis na bunda porra!
yeah yeah gotit.
Tá, tá
....................
*Chariots of Fire
DAMN SHIT FUCK U
CARALHO VAI SE FUDE
GOT THROUGH ASS
PASSEI! CU!
Let's go
Vamo lá
HAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHA!
Great! WOO, WOO!
ÓTIMO! WOOOOW! WOOOOW!
I'm pretty sure this game's developer did not play this Hardcore. He DIDN'T PLAY.
eu não tenho duvida,que o criador não jogou essa porra, no hardcore mode
If he did play, he wouldn't put this mode in!
porque se ele tivesse jogado,ele não teria colocado esse modo
So people wouldn't kill themselves! Suicide! This causes suicide, u know pal? People in Africa kill themselves because of this! What am i saying, poor africa... 42. You know what it is ? The answer to the world, 42.
para as pessoas não se matarem (suicidio)
43 is good Lil Poop. Ye, let's go. IT'S TIME TO SHINE ON, LIL POOP! GOTOHELL LIL POOP, GOTOHELL LIL POOP
I guess this would be a checkpoint without that hardcore thingy. Yea, but unfortunately , I'm a FOOL. i'll stay in my innocent life
OF NOT KNOWIN... fuck them glasses. HA, HA, HA, HA Wait, it's more than half.
No, it's not mo AAAAAAA Why am I so dumb? aaah >_< You have no idea how I hate this song. Listening to it nonstop 20 min.
FUCK IT, HOW DID GET IT THROU- HEHEHEHE yep, too funny this game, really funny hun guys WOO! COMEDY, HUH? Funny, funny so fun!
YESSS, FUCK! no. nope. HAHAHAAA! FUCK Y-
... I AM A DUMBELL. Hop! AAAAW THE ANG...
YESSS, FUCK WOOO! FINALLY. right. there's shit, there's shit here no doubt
right right right left to right Yeah, alright. So, go up Up on the castle. No. Not here, so where can I go through this shit?
No, don't tell me this. I sh- shouldn't have smashed that Goomba, right? I shouldn't have smashed that Goomba. No, don't tell me that, man. Don't tell me that. I can't go there anyway.
It's here... It's here, fuck. IT'S HERE! NO Have you ever thought about your life?
The things you ever did in life... Everything you have chosen. Sometimes, you won't choose good things for your life. An example, I chose to play this game on the Hardcore Mode It's not a smart idea.
C'mon lil poop, c'mon lil poop, c'mon lil poop, c'mon lil poop Got out of that shiiiit... Fuck it, and hug. C'mon.
the secret. The secret. THE SECRET! NO! AAAHHH! C'mon, gogo!
Go! You can do it, Cellbit! okay. leftleftleftleft. Now u go! go! leftleftleftleft. +left, +left
right. sure WHAT Wooow fuck I was there! My brain isn't working. Yeah, it isn't working. It's stopping working, it's freezing
It freezed Left, more left right It's impossible, dude. It's impossible.
IMPOSSIBLE! HAHA left, left, a little right, right... HOW?
right, right what side? NOOOOO I DID NOT KNOW, DID NOT KNOW THE SIDE I SHOULD GO
my brain won't work. My brain won't WOOOOH! HELLOOOH! Past Cellbit...
This is future me! Please, don't do that mistake. Don't press that button, Cellbit. You'll regret it so much... For god's sake, now I...
it's switching... leftleftleftleftleftleftleft RIGHT, RIGHT! LEEEEEFT RIIIIIGHT
leeeEEEFT! *Going to a video of Trash* *Alan "hate you"
Alright, now I'm calm... Now it must work. rightrightrightrightRIGHT, RIGHT THE TIMER HAS STOPPED COUNTING!
NOT EVEN THE GAME BELIEVES I'M PLAYING FOR THAT LONG Just so that you know what's my view like, You see it, the character moving and all Now it's gonna be a singular gameplay, eh
that bullshit is gonna be an FPS of my life here it is that doll the doll woo The first FPS of real life. Feel flattered to view this incredible
SON OF THE BITCH here u see it, 1st person... HOLY FUCK :v You're watching my view's world now. alright, cmon u asshole.
here, the microphone, my hands uh I need to go back here, look, look go back look here look here little ass look
The little son of a bitch woops let's go I'll bring the camera down a little So you guys can have the full vision
of hands and what I'm seeing Look that's increditable that's such an innovation, right guys? Totally an innovation.
It's something that no one ever thought worse idea in the world HELL YEAH Let's see if we can make it now, let's go
go left, left, left, left right- FUCKING BITCH GO FUCK- So guys as you could see the 1st person gameplay idea isn't working too well
we need to make it better so we can see what that'll become later on riiight FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCK- ヘヨー　オーカリします
This video should be released the day it's being recorded, 21st! IT'S GONNA BE LIKE 10 HOURS RECORDING AND UNHAPPILY, UH! When I finish it, it's like 2017! gogogogogogogo
uh uh uh uh uhhhhh mm so Dumb, man... You know what's Dumb?! A really DUMB person?
The concept to DUMB! With pretty loud "D" in capital, DUMB!? That's me. "I wanted so much to be an astrophysic now."
you can't understand Seriously. Have you ever thought about how cool it would be work with astrophysic Be a physic about the astros and planets.
Calculate the starts density C'MON MY HARD DICK MOTHER FU- I want to make a plastic surgery so I can look like David Tennant So I can look in the mirror and be like HOLY SHIT I'm David Tennant
FUCK YOU, SON OF A BIT- David Tennant is an astrophysic Besides of being David Tennan you'll work with measuring starts density Youtubers life is so crazy
I talk to you guys we're like friends but we never met and in my head you guys are responding Like ''Hey'' and I'm like ''Wasup'' and you guys are like ''wasu-
I was talking to Zelune the other day and he said I have OCD I really don't want to have OCD but he said I have it It's really weird, idk, I don't like to let things get messy An example in my channel and go to my videos you gonna see
that all my thumbnails are categorized by colors If you could time-travel, dude, where would you go 20 years in the future isn't that far away I would be capable of adjusting myself
with all the tecnologies would you like to see the dinosaurs and fuck yourself 'cause they would eat you Dinosaus are cool Oh dude so cool
I really wanted to meet a serial killer and be locked with him in some room Dying must be so shitty like you just die I used to draw really good when I was a kid
"It's my mother's blender." "blender. blender." "It blends things." "You put a phone in it and it blends the phone."
"The phone becomes liquid." "But it won't become liquid, it will become dust." "So, it's not a blender." "It's a... podificador"
After a delicious rice n' meatballs, watching Trash. SUCK A DICK! C'MON SON OF A BIIIITCH AAAH LICK MY AS-
HOW WILL I KNOW, MAN? So, this was the video! Hope you really liked it! Cause it was like, 4 HOURS RECORDING AND 6 HOURS EDITMY GOSH If you liked it, please leave your Like.
For support, specially in this video, it was a fucking work to record it! Thank you very much for watching til' here! It's very good for me! Subscribe, if you did not, to get more videos.
See u in the next video in my channel. A kiss, a cheese and see you there. BYE!
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