Cool World - Nostalgia Critic Channel Awesome French English

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Générique ma gueule!

[Nostalgia Critic Intro song]

Salut, c'est le Nostagia Critic

Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic.

je m'en souviens pour que vous n'ayez pas à le faire

I remember it, so you don't have to.

Parlons de Ralph Bakshi

Let's talk about Ralph Bakshi.

des années 60 aux années 80 il est l'un des rares réalisateurs d'animé

From the 60's to the 80's he was one of the few animation directors that insisted

qui a persisté à dire que l'animation ne devrait pas être que pour les enfants.

animation shouldn't just be for kids.

En effet, une partie devrait être explicitement pour les adultes!

In fact, some should be explicitly for adults!

en résultèrent des films qui obtinrent des succès de la critique et au box-office

This resulted in him making films that often gained critical and even box office success.

la plupart du temps, ces films étaient étranges, politiques, obscènes et en général de mauvais goût

Most of the time, these movies were weird, political, raunchy and usually in bad taste.

Bakshi fut également vu comme étrange, politique, obscène et en général de mauvais goût

Bakshi himself also gained a reputation as being weird, political, raunchy and usually in bad taste.

en général polarisant les opinions à son sujet

Usually splitting people's opinion of him.

certains disent qu'il est un génie, d'autre qu'il est fou

Some say he's a genius, others say he's mad...

je dis que c'est un génie fou

I say he's a mad genius.

Oui, la folie peut éclipser le génie, mais le génie peut également éclipser la folie

Yes, the madness can overshadow the genius, but the genius can also overshadow the madness.

et puisqu'il est récemment décédé

And since his passing recently,

je pense qu'il ne fait sens que de regarder à sa plus belle oeuvre

I figure it'd only make sense to look at his greatest work:

"American Pop".

donc en la mémoire de l'une de nos légendes de l'animation

So, in loving memory of one of our greatest animation legends,

*sonnerie de téléphone*

il n'est pas mort?

j'aurai juré avoir entendu quelque part...

Oh. Could've sworn I heard that somewhere...

He's coming over here?

Bordel non! Garde ce dingue le loin de moi!

You keep that loon away from me! [rumbling]

hé glandu de trouduc

You lazy asshole! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Arrêtez! Arrêtez

Stop it! STOP IT!

Tu dois combattre le système crypto-fasciste de l'homme

You need to fight the crypto-fascist system of the man!

avec des femmes aux gros seins et des visages noirs brandissant des bananes

By drawing big-titted ladies in black face while waving around bananas.

tu sais... ce qui représente notre chute économique!

You know, which represents our economic downfall!

Qu'est-ce que tu me chantes?

What the hell are you talking about!?

je parle de rien. Tiens, prends un chiot!

I'm talking about 'Nam. Here, have a puppy!

*cri de douleur*

*criiii de douleur*

Écoute... Je pensais que tu n'étais pas quelque sorte en vie

Look, I kind of thought you weren't alive. Meaning, I could praise your genius

Et donc que je pouvais glorifier ton génie sans avoir vraiment besoin d'interagir avec toi

without having to actually deal with you.

Arrête de me poncer la bite, Critic!

Stop sucking my cock, Critic!

et parle des choses VRAIMENT intéressantes

And talk about something REALLY interesting.

Comme le dernier film que j'ai fait

Like the last feature film I ever mades:

[hard rock music plays]

Attends une minute! Je croyais que c'était l'un de tes plus grands désastres cinématographiques.

Wait a minute, I thought that was one of your biggest cinematic disasters.

il fut descendu critiquement,

It was critically panned, bombed like crazy,

bombarder comme jamais et n'eut pas sa propre fan base fanatique comme tes autres films

it didn't even really get a big cult following like your other films.

Oui mais, Critic, il est important de comprendre tes échecs!

Yeah, but Critic, it's important to understand your failures.

N'est-ce pas sur cela que repose ton émission?

Isn't that what this show is about?

En reconnaissant nos erreurs et nos faux-pas,

Through recognizing our mistakes and missteps,

nous pouvons découvrir comment ne pas tomber dans les mêmes pièges

We can discover how not to fall into the same traps.

Cela nous aide aussi à apprécier quand nous surmontons ces défis.

It also helps us appreciate when we overcome these challenges.

ainsi que de donner une idée de ce que l'artiste avait à l'origine en tête.

As well as give an idea of the what the artists originally had in mind.

plutôt profond..

actually kind of profound.

Est-ce que j'ai mentionné le nombre de producteurs à qui j'ai cassé la gueule récement?

Have I mentioned how many producers I've punched in the face lately?

hé bien... malgré tout...Tu marques un point.

Well, nevertheless, you have a good point.

Yeah! Plus de producteurs mériteraient d'être défoncer.

Yeah, more producers need to be beaten.

Je parle de faire une review de Cool World

I'm talking about reviewing Cool World.

Analysons ce qui n'a pas marché,

Analyzing how it didn't work,

pourquoi ça n'a pas marché et pourquoi ça n'est pas spécialement la faute du grand réalisateur.

why it didn't work and how it wasn't necessarily a great director's fault.

Hé! As tu vu les films que j'ai fait pour les enfants?

Hey, did you ever see the movie I made for kids that had

Qui juraient, étaient gores et contenaient de la propagande nazi?

swearing, gore and Nazi propaganda?

C'est un "film familiale".

It's a "family picture".

Priez pour moi les gens...

Pray for me guys.

Voici: "Cool World"

This is Cool World.

Quoi de plus cool, risqué et badass que...

So, nothing says "cool", "risque" and "badass" like

le Nevada des années 1945

Le lindy hop (danse de rue) ne peut être maitrisé

The Lindy Hop could not be contained.

Ce vétéran de la seconde Guerre Mondiale, joué par Brad Pitt

As World War ll vet, Frank, played by Brad Pitt,

rentre au pays, chez sa mère

returns home to his mother.

et il a la surprise parfaite pour une femme agée des années 40

And he has the perfect surprise for an aging woman in her forties...

"-tu es prête? On va faire un tour dessus!

"Ready? We're goin for a ride."

-Oh non, non, il faut que je finisse le dîner.

"Oh, no, no, I have to finish dinner."

-Man, tout va bien"

Allez! Allons faire un tour à 10 miles à l'heure (16km/h) dans le désert

Let's go riding ten miles per hour in the middle of the desert in my best suit!

avec mon plus beau costard Nous irons au coin le plus branché en ville: le casino Gambling.

We'll go down to the hottest spot in town: The Gambling Casino.

Juste à côté du bar.

Right next to the Drinking Bar.

Mais un couple saoul roule imprudemment sur la route

But a drunk couple are driving recklessly on the road

et crash la moto de Frank Harris et sa mère

and crash into Frank and his mom.

Non, pas ce couple, celui ci.

Oh, no. Not that couple.

[Extrait Las Vegas Parano]

[Goofy Holler ]

*bruit de la guerre*

[explosions and shouting] I'm hit! Mortars comin' in!

Frank pense pendant une minute qu'il est revenu à la guerre jusqu'à ce qu'il réalise que c'est sa mère qui est morte.

Frank for a minute thinks he's back in the war until he realizes it's very unlikely his mother enlisted.

AU moins la moto n'a rien.

Nostalgia Critic: At least the bike's okay.

Ne chevauchez pas de moto Ce message vous est transmis par Canada Broadcasting

Je le savais! Ils sont si sournois!

I knew it! They're so sneaky!

Hé bien ça marche. Ma pointe fonctionne.

Aaah! "Well, it works." "My spike works."

Les gens, si vous avez commencez à regarder ce film sans savoir de quoi il en retournait.

Boy, if you started watching this movie with no idea of what it's about,

ça vous semblerait venir de nulle part, n'est ce pas?

that would be totally out of left field, wouldn't it?

Je me demande ce qui va se passer? Peut-être va t il se venger sur le conducteur?

I wonder what's gonna happen? Maybe he'll get revenge on the driver.

Comment va t-il se réengager pour oublier sa douleur ou...?

Or it's how he reenlists to distract from the pain or--

...Docteur Wiley a créé Brad pitt.

...Doctor Wiley creates Brad Pitt Man.

"Tu. n'es. pas. réel."

"You're. Not. Real."

"Nous ne te sommes pas peut-être encore réels à tes yeux,

"We may not be real to you as yet, but we will be."

mais nous le serons..." Juste au moment où Frank se demande pourquoi il est dans un film différent.

Just as Frank is wondering why he's in a different movie,

qui s'appelle certainement "Qui a plagié Roger Rabbit?"

presumably called "Who Plagiarized Roger Rabbit?"

On cut 47 ans plus tard où un prisonnier du nom de Jack, joué par Gabriel Byrne,

We cut a mere 47 years later where a prisoner named Jack, played by Gabriel Byrne,

est entrainé dans son cartoon.

is getting dragged into his cartoons. [crackling and screaming] [screaming]

Waouh! La fin alternative des évadés est bien plus un classique de Stephen King.

Wow, the alternate ending to Shawshank Redemption is much more classic Stephen King.

Il est introduit non seulement à Cool World mais aussi à Holli Would, jouée par Kim Basinger.

Thus, he's given his introduction not only to Cool World but to Holli Would, played by Kim Basinger.

[hard rock music plays]

Mon dieu j'ai créé des animés.

"'My god, I've created Anime..'"

Ouais, ce mec connait tous les bons gestes, n'est ce pas?

Man, this guy knows all the smooth moves, doesn't he?

Il utilise la technique classique du "pose tes miches ici"

He's doing the classic "put boob here" technique.

*bruit d’éclair*

Mais Jake est "immédiatement" renvoyé.

But Jack is...immediately sent back.

J'imagine qu'Holli voulait juste demander si son corps était aussi irréalisable que celui de Jessica Rabbit?

I guess Holli just wanted to ask if her body was as impractical as Jessica Rabbit's?

Et l'on voit que 40 années ont été plutôt sympathiques avec Brad Pitt

As we see 47 years have been pretty kind to Brad Pitt.

En faite...A qui je vais faire croire ça? C'est le cas!

Actually, who am I kidding? They fucking have!

Mais il est agacé car Holli a apparemment ramené un humain, ou un "noid" comme il les appelle, dans leur monde.

But he's angry because Holli apparently brought a human, or a Noid as they call them, into their world.

"Les rumeurs disent, Holli, que tu as eu de la visite d'un noid au Slash Club la nuit dernière."

"Rumor has it, Holli, that you had a Noid visitation at the Slash Club last night."

Ne sais tu pas ce qu'ils ont fait à Pizzas?

Don't you know what they do to pizzas!?

Holli: "Tu es juste un fier défenseur de la loi et de l'ordre, hein?"

Holli: "You're just a regular true believer of law and order, huh?"

Laisse tomber, coppa

"Beat it, coppa."

Critic: "On parie sur la rançon de Feivel " (souris de cartoon)

Nostalgia Critic: We're gamblin' on Feivel's ransom. [buzzing]

Et tant que j'y suis, si certaines de ces animations vous paraissent... random,

And by the way, if you think some of these animated sections seem...random...

regardez le niveau du "c'est quoi ce bordel-o-mètre" avec cette scène pendant leur conversation.

check the rating on the "What the Piss-O-Meter" with these scenes during their chat.

Tu pourrais m'aider...

"You could help me..."

Le fantôme de Spuds Mackenzie (chien) n'approuve pas?

Ghost of Spuds Mackenzie does not approve?

Mais regardez-moi ça!

Get a load of this one.

"Ne vois tu pas? Ils sont réels!"

"Don't you see?"

"Ils le sentent vraiment."

"They're real." "They really taste it."

"Et quand ils le font avec un homme...Ooooh"

"And when they do it with a man..." [sighs passionately]

Premièrement, que manges-tu?

First of all, what are you eating?

Un sandwich moutarde-oeil, bien sûr!

An eyeball and mustard sandwich, of course.

Bien sûr... Deuxièmement, pourquoi ces bribes animations qui n'ont pas aucuns liens avec rien?

Of course, second, what's with the random bits of animation not tying into anything?

Oh, hé bien, à la base, on devait avoir pleins de trucs cools

Oh, well, originally we were gonna have all sorts of cool stuff,

et ensuite les ssssssstudios s'en sont mêlés.

but then the s-s-s-studio got involved and

La suite, tu l'as connais, nous n'avions même pas de script!

next thing you know, we didn't even have a script!

alors comme je foutais rien, j'ai genre dis:

So, with nuttin to do, I was just like,

"Hey, les gars, hé... dessinez juste de la merde au pif et on le foutra quelque part à l'écran."

"Hey, friends, eh... Just draw some random sh*t and we'll just toss that in the screen somewhere."

Oui, mais certaines des ces animations ne sont même pas finies.

Yeah, but some of those animations aren't even finished.

En faite, tu as même mis cette animation DEUX fois dans la même scène!

In fact, you actually played this animation twice in the same scene!

littéralement attirant l'attention sur le problème!

LITERALLY drawing attention to the problem!

Tu pensais que... le montrer deux fois rendrait la chose complète?

Did you...think showing it twice would somehow complete it?

Hey! J'ai voulu montrer au sssstudio ce qui se passe quand tu joues avec la vision d'un artiste!

Hey! I wanted to show the s-s-s-studio what happens when you mess with an artist's vision!

Tu as un mauvais film avec ton nom dessus.

You have a bad movie with your name on it.

et j'ai été payé pour.

And get paid for it.

Je ne saurais dire si tu es mon héro ou le pire des tarés.

I can't tell if you're my hero or the worst kind of crazy...

ça ne pourrait être les deux?

Can't it be both?

Donc pendant qu'on subit les animations en plus qu'on a déjà vu dans le "MAD magazine" (magazine de comics trash provocateur),

So while enduring the side cartoons you see in "MAD Magazine",

Il semble que Jack soit libéré de prison et qu'il aille dans un magasin de comics.

it looks like Jack is let out of prison and he goes to a comic shop

Où il voit que son comic Cool World est en vente.

where he sees his comic: Cool World is being sold.

Et si j'avais un centime pour chaque employé de ce type de magasin qui lui ressemble...

And if I had a nickel for every comic shop employee who looked like this...

Vous savez, je connais des gens, des amis, qui veulent devenir Holli Would quand ils seront grands."

"I mean, I know people, friends of mine, who want to be Holli Would when they grow up."

Quand ils seront grands? Quel âge ont tes amis, 5 ans?

When they grow up? How old are your friends, five?

voix aigue: "J'ai toujours voulue devenir une coquille vide sans personnalité"

Nostalgia Critic: "I always wanted to be a personalityless shell."

Mais on en découvre un peu plus sur pourquoi il était en prison.

But we find out a little more about why he was in jail.

Pourquoi n'as tu pas fait un livre sur le mec que tu as tué?

"Why don't you do a book on that guy you murdered?

Tu sais, ce mec que tu as trouvé dans le lit de ta femme.

"You know, that guy you found in bed with your wife?"

Hé bien... C'est un gros développement.

Well...eh... That's a big development.

Oh putain! Notre personnage principal est un tueur.

Holy smokes. One of our main characters is a killer.

Je me demande où ça va men...

I wonder where they're gonna take this--

Directement vers la porte!

Rrrrrright out the door!

C'est là où ça nous mène, directement à la putain de porte!

That's where they take it, right out the goddamn door!

Notre héros était apparemment un tueur qui, si on se fie à cette photo sur le livre n'a pas passé beaucoup de temps en prison

Our hero is apparently a murderer who...judging by the picture on his book was not in jail very long.

et on y fait plus référence, on doit juste sympathiser avec cet homme

And it's never referenced again and we're supposed to just sympathize with him

quand il est renvoyé à Cool World

when he goes back to Cool World

ce qui arrive sans explication, sans savoir comment.

Which also has no explanation on how that's happening.

Vous savez, peut-être est-ce un de ces personnages profonds à étudier,

You know, maybe it's supposed to be like one of those deep character studies

nous ne sommes pas censé savoir s'il l'a fait ou pas.

where you're not supposed to know if he did it or not.

après tout, ils lui donnent une écriture profonde comme:

I mean, after all, they do give him a lot of deep writing. Like...

"Am I dreaming?"

Et

Et

"Je t'ai dessiné"

"I drew you..."

Et

Not forgetting...

Ok, Est-ce gars a été payé à la lettre?

Okay, was this dude charged by the letter?

Pourquoi ces phrases sont si courtes?

Why are his lines so short?

On ne peut pas connaitre cet homme car il a aussi peu de dialogue que Gromit

We can't even get to know this guy because he has as much dialogue as Grommet!

En fait, Gromit a plus de personnalité que ce personnage n'en a jamais eu,

In fact, Grommet has more personality than this guy ever has and he never says a word!

et il ne dit jamais un mot. Mais c'est peut-être mieux que quand tu entends les dialogues qu'ils ont vraiment.

But then again, maybe that's good when you do hear the dialogue they actually have in this.

"Pourquoi as tu fait ça?"

"What'd you do that for?"

"Parce que je t'ai creusé."

"Because I dig you."

Honnêtement, si j'avais à dire une ligne pareille, je tuerai quelqu'un aussi."

To be fair, if I had to say lines like this, I'd kill someone too.

doc, pendant qu'il se prêtent au jeu le bébés de "A Nightmare on Elm Street",(VF: Freddy 5L'Enfant du cauchemar)

So, while he indulges the Nightmare on Elm Street babies

Frank s'arrête chez.. heu...

Frank stops by...um...

Holli avec des cheveux noirs

black hair Holli.

"le bruit court que tu as un faible pour les Noid."

"Word is, you got a thing for Noids."

Ok. Où veux-tu aller? voir un film?

[giggles] "Alright, where you wanna go? Movies?"

C'est incroyable à quel point la synchronisation est bien faite, pas vrai?

Amazing how well that syncs up, isn't it?

A quelle point pensait-il qu'elle était grosse quand ils ont filmés?

How big did he think she was when filming this?

Elle aurait du être sacrément étirée pour matcher avec cette poussette.

She'd have to be stretched out like a squashed Wile E. Coyote to match that push!

"Les gars, faut qu'on parte."

"Hey, boss! We gotta go!"

Mais il est interrompu et doit partir

But he gets interrupted and has to head out.

Et la voiture devient soudainement un cartoon.

So, their car suddenly turns into a...cartoon.

Pourquoi parfois les choses sont animés et parfois en 3 dimensions?

why are sometimes things animated and then other times they're three dimensions?

Comme la voiture

Like the car or the cardboard cutouts? Why does everybody call my characters that? I mean the actual cardboard cutouts.

Oh, tu vois, je voulais que ce soit comme l'animation d'une peinture.

Oh, see, I wanted it to be like a live action painting.

Tu vois, c'est ce que j'ai fait pendant des années, peindre!

You see, that's what I did for years and years. Paint!

Et je voulais transfèrer les lumières, les ombres de mon travail dans une dimension plus physique.

And I wanted to transform the lights and shadows of my work into a more physical dimension.

En fait, à l'origine, je voulais appeler ça "Background, le film"

In fact, originally I was going to call it Background: The Movie.

-Tu ne comprends pas le créatif

You just don't understand, Critic. He's showing the anguish of our utilitarian world colliding with the abstract of untapped potential.

-avec des nichons!

D'où venez vous? Qui êtes vous?

Where the hell did you come from, follow-up question?

Je suis Julie Taymor metteuse en scène de pièces et réalisatrice de films soit disant bons

Who the hell are you? I'm Julie Taymor, director of countless Broadway hits and kind-of-good movies.

Elle s'est échappée.

She helped me escape.

Qu’est-ce que tu entends par échapper?

So what the fuck do you mean "escape"?

Echappée? Vous ne le saviez pas, nous étions à l'institut pour les artistiquement dérangés

Oh, escape. Don't you know? We were in the Institute for the Artistically Insane.

J'en ai entendu parler. C'est là que vont les artistes quand leurs idées cessent d'être logiques et raisonnables

Oh, my god, I've heard of that. That's where artists go when their ideas stop obeying logic and reason!

Je ne sais pas ce que je faisais là bas.

I don't know why I was there.

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark déchirait tout.

Having Bono do Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, it killed!

Littéralement. Cela a tué littéralement.

Literally. It LITERALLY killed.

On ne fait pas d'omelette sans casser des œufs.

Hey, you can't make an omelet without breaking some heads, yo.

Ouais, les critiques ont rien compris.

Yeah, you just don't get us, Critic.

Oh pinaise! Spike Lee

Oh, God. Spike Lee...

Vous croivez qu'ils m'ont mis là

Can you believe they put me in there?

J'ai réalisé 65 films dont au moins un tiers est regardable.

After I directed 65 projects and at least 1/3rd of them was watchable?

C'est pour ça que je vous aime les gars. Vous me comprenez.

That's why I love you guys!

et les emmerdes, qui sont réelles.

You understand me and the struggle, which is real!

Son travail est sur l'oppression des noirs par les blancs

His work is about the impression of blacks against whites as told through an animated backdrop of color or no color. Right?

Ouais, avec des nichons!

Yeah...with boobies.

Au moins, personne d'autre ne s'est échappé.

Well, at least nobody else escaped.

Il y a ce mec qu'ils ont chopé avant qu'il ne s'enfuit.

Oh, well, there was that one guy who almost got away but they caught him just in time.

J'ai fait deux films qui ont fonctionné

[loud clang] And I had two hit movies back to back!

Ne t'en soucie pas, soit nommé pour un autre Oscar, ils oublieront toutes les choses horribles que tu as faites.

Don't worry about it, just get yourself nominated for another Oscar and they'll forget about all the horrible things you've done.

Donc Holli amène Jack dans un club

So, Holli takes Jack to her club.

Bordel, même la voiture me rend dur.

Jesus, even their cars are getting me hard!

Mais Frank les arrête et eplique , pauvrement (comme ma traduction), ce qui se passe.

But Frank stops them and explains, poorly, what's going on.

"Je suis un dessinateur, j'ai créé tout ça.

"I'm a cartoonist, I drew all this."

-Ce lieu existe avec ou sans toi. Vous me croyez, je ne veux pas être créationniste."

Frank: "This place exists with or without you." "You believe me, right? I'm not one of your creations."

Vous avez rendu tout clair. On n'a plus besoin d'explication.

Oh, now everything makes sense. Thanks for clearing that up. We don't need any more information beyond that.

C'est comme si Dieu arrivait et disait:

That's like God coming out and saying

"J'ai créé le Cosmos et l'Univers

"I CREATED THE COSMOS AND THE UNIVERSE..."

tout sauf la Suède

"ALL EXCEPT FOR SWEDEN."

Je ne sais pas d'où ça vient?

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT CAME FROM."

Mais je l'accepte. La Suède.

"OH, WELL. I'LL JUST ACCEPT IT." "SWEDEN."

Autour de vous il pourrait y avoir du non-sens

"Ordinary fountain pen, right?" "Around here, this can be a big nuisance."

Kind of like our foreground.

Fais gaffe à Holli

"One should be careful how they wave this thing."

Je ne l'ai pas.

Jack: "No, I don't get it."

Bien sur que tu l'as pas, tu es un Wakadou

"Of course you don't get it, because you're a wackadoo."

Hé, c'est notre monde.

Hey, that is OUR word!

Il explique dans ce monde de cartoon, il n'y a qu'une loi.

He also explains that in this world of cartoons or "doodles", there's only one law:

Les humains ne doivent pas faire de sexe avec les cartoons.

Noids do not have sex with doodles. Frank: "You think she's got a thing for you, don't you?"

La vérité c'est qu'elle a été après moi et tous les humains qui sont venu au cours des années et a tenté de les choper.

"The truth is she's been after me and every other noid who's come through here it's just that no one's been insane enough to get involved with her."

Je doute de cela.

I somehow doubt that.

Avez vous vu Deviant art?

Have you seen DeviantArt?

S'engager avec elle 'est pas la chose la plus folle.

Getting involved with her is not the craziest thing compared to others.

Jack est renvoyé chez lui et part chercher la paix dans le désert

So, Jack is dropped off back home resulting in him driving to the desert to pace.

Toute une journée de tournage

Oh, well that was worth a whole shooting day,

Retour là où nous étions

back to where we just were! [screaming]

Et nous avons profité de 26 secondes de lui dans la vrai monde.

Thank god we had that essential 26 seconds of him being in the real world.

Maintenant nous pouvons retourner au même endroit que nous étions avant!

Now we can go back to...exactly the same place we were!

Pourquoi n'ont ils pas appelé ce film scène (ou péché ) film?

Why don't they just call this "Scenes"? Scenes World?

Après... quelque chose de stupide,

So, after...I don't know, something stupid.

Frank retourne chez Holli

Frank goes back to Holli's place.

"-Penses tu qu'elle te laisseras pénétrer à l'intérieur?"

"Do you think she'll let us in?"

C'est l'un des deux lieux dans lesquels ils se rend dans le film, donc j'espère.

Well, it is one of only TWO places he goes in this city, so I would hope so.

Il va chez Holli pour dire ce qu'il a déjà dit.

He goes up to Holli to say pretty much the same thing he always says.

Restes éloigner des humains

"You stay away from the Noid."

C'est 90% de tes dialogues, tu ne cesses de te répéter

Yeah, that's like 90% of your dialogue. You're totally on repeat.

tu es la grand mère de The Room

You're the mother/daughter scenes from The Room! We heard you once, the other 70 gajillion times aren't needed! "Be content with the cards you've been dealt." "Well, you prance around here waving that gun around like you're some big deal."

Est-ce que vous nous écoutez?

Wait, wait, hold on. Is anyone even listening to us?

Ou êtes vous trop distrait par l'arrière plan?

Or are you too distracted by the background?

Vous pouvez choisir la scène ou c'est la scène qui vous choisit.

I know you can chew the scenery, but what do you do when the scenery chews you?

Mais Holli a des plans pour faire monter la température avec Jack

But Holli, of course, has Jack hidden and definitely has plans to feel the Byrne,

Mais pas après beaucoup de persuasion.

but not before a lot of persuading.

"-On ne peut pas aller plus loin.

Jack: "It can't go any further than this, Holli."

-Tu suis les règles? - Non. -Ou tu vas suivre ton instinct?"

Holli: "You gonna follow the rules?" Jack: "No." Holli: "Or are you gonna follow your instincts?"

Fin de la persuasion.

Jack: "Yeah." Persuading over. [rock music plays]

On va choper des MST juste en regardant ça.

I feel like I'm getting an STD just watching this. [screaming] [sighs passionately] [explosion]

C'est donc pour ça qu'on ne pouvait coucher avec des cartoons.

WHOA! No wonder you weren't supposed to fuck a doodle,

Apparemment ils explosent!

apparently they explode!

Les pipes explosent.

Blowjobs blow up!

Mais c'est bon, car on a ce dialogue follement drôle pour continuer.

But it's all good, cause we have this incredibly funny line to end on.

"-c'était bon pour toi?

"Was it good for you?"

-ça n'était pas ce que j'attendais" FIN DE LA PUB : 15:03

"It wasn't what I expected." The movie in a nutshell.

Donc Frank retourne voir sa petite amie

So, Frank AGAIN goes to visit his girlfriend.

ses tournées ne vont-elles qu'entre ces deux endroits?

Is his police route like one line in between two places? Where he once again makes awkward chitchat.

Ca c'est un massage sexuel!

Now that's a sensual message.

J'appelle ça le presque marionnette massage

I call this the "almost puppet" mouth.

On voit aussi qu'avoir un rapport avec un cartoon le transforme en humain.

We also see that having sex with a Noid results in the doodle becoming a Noid herself.

Je vais subitement faire de très mauvais choix de carrière

Nostalgia Critic: "I suddenly want to make terrible career choices,

comme être 50 nuances plus sombres.

like be in Fifty Shades Darker."

Elle veut donc aller dans le vrai monde

She, of course, wants to go to the real world to see if that too looks like a lesser production of Bebe's Kids.

Et parce qu'apparemment l'exposition coute trop cher,

And because exposition is apparently too expensive

ils la transportent sans expliquer comment.

they just transport again without ever explaining how.

Cette histoire de pique qui permet de transporter les gens entre les mondes

They start off talking about this spike that's used to teleport people in between worlds,

elle n'est plus utilisée dans aucun des transferts

Yet it's never used again in any of these other teleportations.

cela semble juste avoir lieu quand ils veulent et parfois même quand ils ne veulent pas

It...just seems to happen whenever they want, and sometimes even when they don't want.

comment tu l'expliques?

How do you explain that?

Comment ça tu sais pas, je pensais que tu avais écrit le script!

What do you mean you don't know!?

Le script originel oui!

I thought you wrote the script! Well, the original script, yeah.

Tu vois je pensais faire un film Rated R

You, see, I sold Paramount a "Hard 'R' Animated Horror Film

mixé avec de l'action live

mixed with live action because that kind of genre hadn't been done before.

mais au premier jour de tournage, on m'a donné un script différent

But on the first day of shooting, I was given a completely different script

il était écrit par deux autres auteurs

that was written in secret by two other writers!

donc je n'ai pas su ce que je faisais que le film que je tournais, n'était pas le film que j'avais écrit

So, literally from day one, I didn't know what I was doing because the movie I wrote wasn't the movie I fucking wrote!

Vache, ça n'a pas de sens.

Holy smokes, no wonder so much of this isn't making sense.

Ca arrive plus souvent que tu ne le penses.

It actually happens more than you know.

Ouais, les producteurs changent tout et c'est nous qui prennont

Yeah, producers change everything and we get all the blame.

Quand les gens comprendront ils que la vision de l'artiste est la seule chose qui suffit à faire quelque chose de brillant

When will people learn that the vision of the artist is all you need to make something brilliant?

Par ailleurs j'ai adoré ton Seigneur des anneaux

By the way, I love when you did Lord of the Rings how you made Saruman "Aruman".

Ouais tu devrais

Yeah, I just hid the letter S.

Ca n'est rien comparé à ta scène de torture

As you should. Well, that's nothing compared to how you did a torture scene in Drop Squad with Oreo cookies. And dressed a woman like Aunt Jemima.

Or how you dropped, like, a whole third of the story in Across the Universe!

Personne n'a compris

Nobody understood!

Je ne suis pas sur que ce soit une mauvaise chose

They never do. I'm not sure that's a bad thing.

Donc les deux arrivent dans un night club

So the two of them end up in a night club

où Franck Sinatra Jr montre la meilleure façon de virer un agent

where we see Frank Sinatra Jr. figuring out the best way to fire his agent.

Franchement, pourquoi ce caméo?

Seriously, why did he take this cameo? "Let's make love."

Hé! Elle est avec moi!

Well, that answers that. "Hey!"

Non, elle est avec nous.

"She's with me!" Security: "Nah, she's with us."

Quel genre d'endroit est-ce?

Dude, what the hell kind of place is this!?

Le prix pour entrer, c'est 20 dollars et ta petite-amie

The price to go in is $20 AND your girlfriend! Also, you don't get to go in.

Franck Sinatra Jr voit des choses qu'il n'a jamais vu

Holli poorly lip-syncs as Sinatra Jr. is starting to look thankful nobody's ever gonna see this

Frank doit se rendre dans le vrai monde. Il donne un baiser à sa petite amie.

While it looks like Frank has to go to the Real World to get Holli back so, his kisses his girlfriend goodbye

En... pensant à sa mère?

...while thinking about his mother...?

Noooooo Noooooooooo Nooooooooooooooo Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

THIIIIIIIINGS!!!!!

Hollipar à la recherche de la pique du début pensant que cela peut combiner les deux mondes car

Holli goes to find the spike that was mentioned in the opening thinking it could combine their two worlds together because...

Frank essaie de savoir où est Jack.

While Frank tries to figure out from Jack where she is. "I'm taking you and the bimbo back." "What're you gonna do, shoot me?" "Why don't you shoot me goddamnit!!"

N'essaie pas d'avoir du caractère maintenant, il ne reste que 20 minutes

Don't try to have character now, there's like 20 minutes left.

Jack est d'accord pour emmener Frank jusqu'à Holliiiii qui a des instants humoristiques

Jack agrees to take Frank to Holli while Holli is having some wacky comedic moments. "Miss..." I see you've played idiot seesaw before.

Elle trouve le scientifique qui a créé la pique

Sure enough, she comes across the scientist who invented the spike and crossed over

habillé comme un petit ... Darkman

dressed as... little Darkman...

et il lui dit que la pique est en haut du casino

and he tells her that the spike is at the top of the casino.

où Frank l'attend

where Frank is waiting for her.

Frank: "Guess what?"

C'était ma tentative d'humour

Frank: "You're through." That was my attempt at humor.

c'est pas moins bon que ça

Hey, it's about as good as this.

Mais alors qu'Holli se transforme en cartoon

But as Holli starts changing into a doodle

elle essaie de se servir de ses pouvoirs pour passer à travers le mur

she tries to use her ability to walk through the wall.

car... c'est quelque chose qu'ils peuvent faire dans Cool World?

Because...that's something they could do in Cool World?

J'espérais que ce qui marche pour les cartoons randoms marcherait aussi pour moi.

I was hoping the sloppy editing that would jump cut people out of rooms would work for me too.

Holli fait tomber Frank du bulding

Holli knocks him off the building

mais heureusement il semble être une marionnette.

But thankfully he seems to be a puppet... (Pull the string!)

Et il se transforme en cartoon

Nevertheless, he turns into a Splat Pitt.

"Jack, c'est ta chance de faire le bien

"Jack, this is your chance to make it right!" "I wanna do something right..."

Il remplit sa destinée

"He's fulfilling his destiny,

il dvient un héros!

he's becoming a hero!"

C'est la que tu mets ton commentaire audio dans le film?

Oooh! Isn't this where you put your audio commentary in the movie? You better believe it, doll.

Mesdames et messieurs,

Ralph: Ladies and gentleman,

selon le script que j'ai eu avant de tourner la scène

according to the new screenplay I was just handed before shooting this scene,

il s'agissait de transformer Jack en héros

this was all about Jack becoming a hero.

Je veux rien dire, mais j'ai fait Wizards

Eh, I don't get it either, but

Je ne le dis pas pour vous impressionner, mais pour me sentir mieux.

I made wizards. I'm not saying that to impress you, I'm saying that to make myself feel better.

Vous pouvez retourner à cette connerie.

You may now return to this bullshit.

Elle trouve la pique

She eventually finds the spike... (I am She-Ra!)

Et libère Cool World sur le vrai monde.

And unleashed the Cool World on the Real World. [incoherent voices]

"Oh!" Well, look at that. They went from Gabriel Byrne only having a few lines to just tossing him out of the movie altogether.

C'est un super-héros essayant d'empêcher Holli de détruire le monde

Yeah, now he's a super hero trying to stop Holli from destroying the world. It's not even him doing the voice! "You fiends!" "Trying to stop me!"

Les lèvres ne bougent pas quand ils parlent.

Half the time the mouths don't even move when they talk! Holli: "Oh, please." Holli: "Pencil dicks." [screeching]

Well, this is a really nice Ren & Stimpy cartoon.

En fait c'est pas ça, mais peut-on revenir au film

...Actually, it's not even that, but could we possibly return to the movie?

avec des conflits dedans?

You know with conflict and such?

Donne moi la pique Jack

"Give me the spike, Jack."

"Okay, Honeypoo." "Hey! Goody, goody, goody!"

Je dois faire ce qui est juste et retourner la pique

"A trick!" "I must do what is right and return the spike!"

C'était le conflit.

That was your conflict, huh?

C'était le climax du film.

That was your big climax of the movie? And let me guess, there's just a bunch of yelling and screaming to follow? Yeah, okay.

Ralph, I can't believe I'm asking this but,

Quelle était votre idée originelle pour ce film?

what was your original idea for this movie?

Le script originel

The script that Paramount bought at first?

Le gars de la bouteille faisait du sexe avec un cartoon.

Oh, it was about a guy who had sex with a cartoon character.

Ok, c'était de la merde.

Okay, so it was crap.

Et ils donnent naissance à un tueur psychopathe.

Ralph: And then they gave birth to a psychopathic killer.

Cela devait tourner autour de l'enfant

See, it was supposed to be about the child!

qui grandissait avec du ressentit vis à vis de son père car il l'avait abandonné

Who grows up resenting his father because he abandoned him.

donc il se rendait dans le vrai monde en étant mi-homme, mi-cartoon et essayait de le tuer.

So he goes into the real world being half man and half cartoon and tries to kill him.

A la fin, il découvrait être une abomination ne pouvant vivre dans aucun des 2 mondes.

In the end, he discovers he's an abomination that can't live in either world.

Waw ça semble fou mais ça semble profond aussi.

I mean, it sounds crazy but..it also kind of sounds deep.

En effet, je sais que mon travail est

Exactly! I know my stuff is bonkers,

mais il vient d'une vraie passion

but it comes from a place of real passion,

avant que le ssssstudio le rejettent

before the s-s-s-studio gets in the way!

même Kim Basinger a tenté de le changer

Even Kim Basinger was trying to change it!

Kim Basinger, sérieux?

Kim Basinger, really?

Oui, elle voulait que ce soit plus acceptable pour le montrer aux enfants qu'elle rencontrait dans les hôpitaux.

Yeah, she wanted it more family friendly so she could show it to the kids she visited in the hospital.

franchement, c'est vraiment pas le genre d'histoire pour ça

I says, "Kim, that's a nice thought but this really isn't the sort of picture for that sort of thing.

je recommande Fritz the Cat

Might I recommend uh, Fritz the Cat?"

Donc au lieu d'un film d'horreur psychologique animé

So, instead of an animated psychological hard 'R' horror film, we got...

on a eu "c'est mon rôle de ramener la pique"

"It's up to me to return the spike!"

The jacked up adventures of Banana Man?

Oui! Pourquoi penses tu que j'ai fait d'Holli Wood celle qui détruit tout dans ce film?

Yeah, Why do you think I "rigsed" it so that Holli Would is the main villain destroying everything in the picture?

C'est malin. Était-ce intentionnel?

That's actually clever. Was that intentional?

Enfin ... OUIIII

Je pense qu'il n'y a pas grand chose d'autre à dire

I guess there's not really much else to talk about.

Les cartoons sont ramenés et Frank ramené à sa petite amie

The spike is returned and Franks partner takes his body back to his girlfriend ...in the most cautious way possible.

Oh Frank non, s'il te plait Quand on est tué par un cartoon, on devient un cartoon.

"Oh, Frank, honey, no please!!" "Oh, no, please!" "Was she a doodle when she aced him?" "When they get killed by a doodle, they become a doodle themselves!"

"Oh my god!" Ralph: This is the director again, I'm looking at the script here I've just received... Ugh...yeah I'm just an errand boy.

So, happily whatever after I guess! As Frank and his girlfriend can now doodle the noodle and Jack's personality I guess is erased from existence as he stays the superhero pissing off Holli.

Jack: "Oh, we're going to be deliriously happy, Honeypoo!" Holli: "Pencil dick."

Et c'était une chose!

And that was...a thing.

Une très mauvaise chose.

A very, very bad thing. Cool World has little to no focus, and is amazingly sloppy in every category. Characters, story, technique, most of it either goes nowhere or falls awkwardly flat.

Je vais le défendre un peu.

I will defend it a little bit.

S'il est facile a descendre il y a des choses à sauver.

As easy as it is to pick on, there is some amazing stuff.

L'imagination est phénoménale.

The animation is phenomenal...

Sauf quand ça ne l'est pas.

except when it's not.

Les décors sont spectaculaires.

The backgrounds are spectacular...

sauf quand ils ne le sont pas.

except when they're not.

C'est le film de Bakshi qui a le plus de gueule

This is arguably Ralph Bakshi's best looking film, fill in the blank. I can't act like there's nothing here of value. Some of these visuals are jaw-droppingly inspired and it's not fair to just bunch them together

Ca devrait vraiment être admiré

with everything else that doesn't work. So many of these images could be frozen and they'd be regarded as surreal masterworks. Even the animation has a wide range of styles, Disney, Looney Tunes, action comics, underground comics, and that really should be admired.

Donc est-ce bon? NON!

So, is it good? God no!

Mais il y a de bonnes choses dedans pour ouvrir l'imagination.

But there is good stuff in it to open up the imagination.

Et vous savez quoi, je vous en suis remerciant Bakshi.

And you know what? I'm thankful for that, Bakshi.

Je vous remercie pour tous vos délires , même quand ça ne marche pas.

I'm thankful for all your insanity, even when it doesn't work.

Car nous avons besoin de choses hors des clous, même quand elles ne marchent pas

Because when you think that much outside the box, even when it doesn't succeed,

ça peut toujours inspirer les gens.

it can still inspire people.

On rentre à l'institut les 3.

[crash] Alright, you three, back to the institute with ya. Cram it, pig! You'll never be able to stop us from filming our Bakshi crazy ideas!

Car on a des marionnettes

Because we have puppets!

Des cartoons aux gros nichons.

And big tittied cartoons!

Et des danseurs de break dance

And breakdancing college students! What the holy hell?

Attendez, c'est pas bien.

Wait, this isn't right!

Reste au loin Critic.

Step aside, Critic.

Il y a des trucs étranges.

They're weird and stuff.

Je sais, et ça n'est pas toujours bon.

I know, and it's not always good but...

mais c'est leur folie et celle de personne d'autre.

It's their madness and nobody else's.

Cool World montrer ce qui se passe quand on détruit la créativité d'un artiste plutôt que de chercher un compromis.

Films like Cool World show what happens when an artist's vision is bought and destroyed, instead of coming to a compromise.

Les films de Bakshi n'ont pas toujours de sens,

Bakshi's films don't always make sense,

mais ils sont si étranges et non filtrés qu'ils ne peuvent pas augmenter la créativité d'une imagination.

but they're so strange and so unfiltered that it's impossible for them not to expand the creative part of one's imagination. We need failures that take risks to expand the mind as opposed to a failure like Cool World that's constantly limiting itself. Would Bakshi's original story have been better? Maybe.

But it would be 100% his. Appealing to a world with few rules as opposed to this world with a ton of rules which don't make any sense. Call me crazy, but I think they should be allowed to show all their madness and be as free as they want to be and none of you are here right now, are you?

Où êtes vous tous allé?

God, I prattle on, so where'd you all go?

Je les ai perdu

I've lost them! Up here you lazy asses!

J'encule la logique

Je vais utilisé Julie Taymor et Spike Lee comme des ailes

I'm going to use Julie Taymor and Spike Lee as wings

et voler jusqu'au cosmos.

and soar to the cosmos!

Vers les nichons et au délà

To titties and beyond! [angelic choir sings] By god, that's the craziest stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen in my whole life. Yeah...

They inspired us all. I'm the Nostalgia Critic and never lose track of the right kind of madness. Ralph: This is really fucking amazing. Hey, Doug Walker here once again

doing the charity shout-out. And this week we're doing one that's an especially good one that's definitely relevant now. It's Save the Children. Save the Children invests in childhood everyday

in times of crisis and for our future. In the United States and around the world, they give children a healthy start, the opportunity to learn,

and protection from harm. By transforming children's lives now, they change the course of their future and ours. They're committed to conducting programs and operations in a manner

that keeps children safe and protects them from danger. Insisting on one hundred percent accountability for safeguarding the children they are privileged enough to serve. All representatives including employees, board members, partners and volunteers

conduct themselves according to this commitment with clear procedures to prevent, report and respond to any risks to children. No matter the challenge, even through the devastation of Syria, they always put children first in everything they do.

If you go to their website or their Youtube page, you can hear all the stories about the children they saved. And I will warn you, a lot of them are very tough to watch. They're very difficult to get through, but at the same time,

it shows how important your donation is. Anything you can give is being used to save these lives and under the worst circumstances, you can imagine, they try to fight through and prevail. There are countless stories of how many children they've helped and saved

and you can be a part of it. Definitely check them out and see how you can help in such a troubling time.

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