My Dad's Morning RoutineYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Comedy  5.3M views 184.2K likes 2.2K dislikes   02 Jul 2018
Lilly Singh 14.2M subscribers N/A YouTube↗


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Contributed subtitles
English J Patel
Vietnamese Huyền Nguyễn
Nguyễn Khánh Huyền
Click to Play Video Click to Play Video
(horse neighs)
(relincho de caballos)
- Hello to all my million fans around the world.
Hola a todo mi millón de admiradores alrededor del mundo
This Manjeet Singh, chapter 17,
Soy Manjeet Singh, capítulo 17,
in this, my DIY good morning routine.
aquí, mi rutina DIY de buenos días.
I start my day by tossing and turning
Empiezo mi día dando vueltas y vueltas
to royalty-free pop music like this one.
con música pop libre de regalías como esta.
(upbeat pop music)
(alegre música pop)
First, on my way to wash me,
Primero, en mi camino a lavarme,
I usually sneeze unnecessarily loud
usualmente estornudo innecesariamente fuerte
so the whole house can hear me.
así toda la casa puede escucharme.
(sneezes)
(estornuda)
Then I do shaving because I have beard
Luego me afeito, porque tengo barba
because I am man, okay, not little baby boy.
porque soy un hombre, okay, no un pequeño bebé varón.
Even though everybody else in house freezing,
Aún cuando todos en la casa se congelan,
I turn down thermostat because I am always hot.
bajo el termostato porque yo siempre estoy caliente.
No morning complete without watching news program.
Ninguna mañana esta completa sin ver el programa de noticias.
And I think it very important to give my own commentary.
Y creo que es muy importante dar mi propio comentario.
Crap!
Mentira!
Bloody idiots!
Malditos idiotas!
Look what they doing.
Mira lo que hacen.
Garbage.
Basura.
- [Reporter On Television] Texting and driving fines
- [Reportero en la televisión] Multas por mensajear y manejar
have increased to $500.
han aumentado a $500.
- Oh, you see this?
- Oh, ves esto?
By 10 a.m., I like to exaggerate
Cerca de las 10 a.m., me gusta exagerar
what I hear on news to Lilly.
de lo que escucho en las noticias a Lilly.
Just so she know everything dangerous
Solo para que sepa que todo peligroso
and she should never leave house.
y ella nunca debería dejar casa
Hey, Lil, you know what they saying on news right now?
Hey, Lil, sabes lo que dicen en las noticias ahora mismo?
They saying all cell phone illegal.
Dicen que todos celulares ilegales.
That's right, no one allowed to use cell phone ever.
Eso es, nadie autorizado a usar celular nunca.
Any time, they say two million dollar fine plus jail time.
En cualquier momento, dicen multa de dos millones de dolares mas cárcel.
They saying on news right now.
Dicen en las noticias ahora.
And then I turn thermostat down.
Y luego bajo el termostato.
Every morning it important for me to tell stories
Cada mañana es importante para mi contar historias
from my childhood in India and make sure everybody listen.
de mi infancia en India y asegurarme de que todos escuchen.
Washing car, uh?
Lavando el auto, eh?
Okay, good, very good.
Okay, esta bien, muy bien.
You know, I remember my first car.
Tu sabes, recuerdo mi primer auto
It is actually rickshaw in Punjab.
En realidad un bicitaxi en Punjab.
Red one, nice one, best, shiny.
Rojo, lindo, el mejor, brillante.
It was like BMW of rickshaw, first one.
Era como el BMW de los bicitaxi, el primero.
Oh, you know one day I was walking home
Oh, tu sabes un día caminaba a casa
from school in India, you know, small, small boy.
de la escuela en India, tu sabes, pequeño, pequeño niño.
I walking on my path when cobra,
Caminaba por mi camino cuando cobra
oh, big cobra, come like this.
oh, gran cobra, viene así.
I said, "Hey, you, get out of here."
Y dije "Hey, tu, vete de aquí".
It go running.
Se va corriendo.
That's right, I'm a strong man, you know.
Eso es, soy un hombre fuerte, tu sabes.
Yeah, those were the days, you know?
Si, esos eran los días, tu sabes?
I used to drink lassi and eat mango under big tree.
Solía tomar lassi y comer mango bajo un gran árbol
You know what is lassi?
Sabes lo que es lassi?
- [Siri] Looking up the definitions for lassi.
- [Siri] Buscando definiciones de lassi.
- Good girl.
- Buena chica.
And then, I turn thermostat down.
Y luego, bajo el termostato.
So, bloody hot.
Tan increiblemente caliente.
By 11 a.m., I like to call electric company
Cerca de las 11 a.m., me gusta llamar a la compañía de la electricidad
and complain about my bill.
y quejarme de mi factura.
Ah, yeah, this my favorite hobby.
Ah, si, este es mi pasatiempo favorito.
What do you mean?
Que quieres decir?
I never bloody touch thermostat.
Nunca toco el termostato.
You know, that's it, that's it,
Tu sabes, eso es, eso es,
I want to speak to manager, okay?
Quiero hablar con encargado, okay?
I'm going to cancel my electricity.
Voy a cancelar mi electricidad.
Every single morning, I do exercise
Todas las mañanas, hago ejercicio
by listening to my favorite songs.
escuchando mis canciones favoritas.
Why? Because I am strong guy.
Por qué? Porque soy un chico fuerte
♪ This ain't for the best ♪
♪ Esto no es para el mejor ♪
♪ My reputation's never been worse, so ♪
♪ Mi reputación nunca ha sido peor, entonces ♪
♪ You must like me for me ♪
♪ Te debo gustar por mí ♪
All that cardio make me sweating.
Todo ese cardio me hace sudar.
So, I turn down thermostat.
Entonces, bajo el termostato.
Now, I am ready to learn Apple computer.
Ahora, estoy pronto para aprender computadora Apple.
Everyday, I am learning slowly by slowly.
Cada día, estoy aprendiendo despacio a despacio.
It-tunes, what is It-tunes?
It-tunes, que es It-tunes?
Oh, It-tunes.
Oh, It-tunes.
Now, before lunch, I like to complain about quality
Ahora, antes del almuerzo, me gusta quejarme de la calidad
of minimum three things.
de mínimo tres cosas.
This a cookie?
Esto es una galleta?
All sugar, that is garbage.
Todo azúcar, esto es basura.
This water, too much processing.
Esta agua, demasiado procesada.
All bloody chemical.
Todo maldito químico.
Look the size of this Sprite, bloody rip-off.
Mira el tamaño de ésta Sprite, maldita estafa.
This Sprite, more like a sprong.
Esta Sprite, más bien sprong.
Then I turn thermostat down.
Luego, bajo el termostato.
My morning usually end with my spicy wife
Mi mañana normalmente termina con mi picante esposa
fighting with me for no reason.
peleandome sin razones.
She just crazy.
Ella simplemente loca.
- You all ready finish milk?
- Ya has terminado la leche?
What the bloody hell wrong with you, huh?
Que diablos te pasa, eh?
- Ay, why you always so bloody cold towards me, huh?
- Ay, por qué siempre estás tan frío conmigo, huh?
She cold because I turn down thermostat.
Ella tiene frío porque baje el termostato.
Wait one second before you go.
Espera, un segundo antes de que te vayas.
I've gotta tell you very important thing.
Debo contarte cosa muy importante.
I have new television program called Spice News
Tengo un nuevo programa de televisión llamado Noticias Picantes
with my spicy wife, Paramjeet on IGTV.
con mi picante esposa, Paramjeet en IGTV.
You saying, "What the bloody hell IGTV?"
Tu dices, "Que diablos es IGTV?"
Let me tell you.
Dejame decirte.
Go update your Instant Gram app
Debes actualizar tu Instant Gram app
when you see this little thing there.
cuando veas esta pequeña cosa ahí.
For free, Spice News program.
Gratis, programa Noticias Picantes.
You watch on that, absolutely flee, flee, free, free.
Lo ves allí, completamente glatis, glatis, gratis, gratis.
No money, do it now.
Sin dinero, hazlo ahora.
Thank you, bye.
Gracias, adiós.
Thank you so much for watching this video,
Muchisimas gracias por ver este video,
my good morning routine.
mi rutina de buenos días.
You like it?
Te gusta?
Give it a big thumbs up.
Dale un gran pulgar arriba.
You comment below, letting me know what other videos
Comentas abajo, haciéndome saber que otros videos
you want to see Manjeet.
quieres ver de Manjeet.
Follow me then on Instant Gram down below description.
Sígueme luego en Twitter and Instant Gram abajo en la descripción.
Last video there, second vlog there.
Último video allí, segundo vlog allí.
Make sure you subscribe.
Asegurate de suscribirte
We make a new video every Monday and Thursday.
Hacemos un nuevo video todos los Lunes y Jueves.
One love, stuper-poo-poo-pi-pi, okay, bye.
Un amor, stuper-poo-poo-pi-pi, bien, adiós.
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