A Very Potter Musical Act 1 Part 7YouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Comedy  5.3M views 35K likes 175 dislikes   05 Jul 2009
Team StarKid 902K subscribers United States YouTube↗


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Quirrell: Master! Master! The shipments for the first task of the tournament have just arrived!
Voldemort: Yes, I know, Quirrell.
I hear everything that you hear.
Quirrell: Isn't it wonderful, master?
We made sure Harry Potter's name was drawn from the cup and soon he will be ours.
Voldemort: Yeeeeeesssss.
It's really happening, isn't it, Quirrell?
You know, with the plan going so well,
I feel like maybe we should celebrate.
What do you say ,Quirrell? How's about we go out?
I hear it's karaoke night down at the Hog's Head.
Quarrel: Uh, I don't know...
I have all these papers to grade, and I've been giving so much
attention to this revenge plan that I'm really behind.
Voldemort: Ah, come on, Quirrell!
You've been working so hard all year!
You deserve a night off!
Quirrell: But the papers...
Voldemort: Oh, just give them all B minuses and be done with it.
Quirrell: Now that's evil.
Voldemort: Yeah, thanks, I am the Dark Lord.
Come on, just a few drinks!
Hey, we'll try to pick up some chicks!
Quirrell: I wouldn't know what to say. I'm no good at that.
Voldemort: Come on, it'll be fun.
You just move your lips and I'll do the talking.
Quirrell: Uhhhh....
Voldemort: Quirrell!
Man!
Listen!
I may just be a parasite on the back of your head
that's literally devouring your soul any time you take a breath,
but I can see that
you're too good a guy not to have a bit of fun once in a while.
You deserve this.
Quirrell: Well if you put it that way then,
yeah, let's just go wild tonight!
Voldemort: That's the spirit, squirrel!
Put on a fresh pair of wizard shorts and grab your tunic.
Quirrell, we are gonna get you laid.
Seriously, man, back when I had a body,
ooh, I had mad game with the bitches.
Just ask Bellatrix Lestrange.
Ron: This cloak isn't as big as it used to be.
Hermione: Shh, someone's coming!
Draco: Did you just hear something?
Goyle: No.
Only quiet.
Maybe... one...
raindrop.
Draco: No matter.
Tell me, Goyle,
who do you think is the ugliest girl in school?
Goyle: Uh...
Oh, Buckbeak.
For sure.
Draco: Crabbe?
Crabbe: Uh, Winky the house elf.
Draco: Good one.
Obscure.
You know who I think is the ugliest girl in school?
That Hermione Granger.
You know what I'd give her, on a scale of one to ten?
With one-
One would be the ugliest and then ten the most pretty.
I would give her...
An eight.
An eight point five.
Or a nine.
Not- not over
a nine point eight.
Because there is always room for improvement.
Not everyone's perfect, like me.
That's why I am holding out for a ten.
Because I'm worth it.
Come on! Let's go.
Ron: Wow, what a bunch of jerks.
Hermione: Alright, forget them. Now,
where did you say you saw those crates being delivered?
Ron: Well, I think they were being delivered to the auditorium,
so they should be at the end of this hallway and to the left.
Ron: Look!
Hermione: A goat?
Harry: A goat?
Oh my God, I have to fight a goat? I don't know if I could do that morally.
Snape: And the goats have all been sent for feeding time, Headmaster.
Dumbledore: Oh, feeding time? Dragons don't want to be fed.
They want to hunt!
Harry: Did he just say dragons?
Snape: Did you just say "did he just say dragons?"
Dumbledore: I must have because anybody else hiding in this room
would have known to have shut up,
Potter.
Snape: Headmaster, do you really think it's wise to have children fight dragons?
Dumbledore: No, Snape, I don't think it's wise to do anything anymore.
Like, here I am alive and well today
and I could very well be killed by you, tomorrow.
Snape: Why, that's absurd.
Dumbledore: First... let's go to bed.
Have you ever seen my room?
I've got some pretty kickin' posters on my wall.
Snape: Well, I am rather tired.
Harry: Aw man, I have to fight a dragon?
This is bogus!
Hermione: Well...
Harry: How can I fight a dragon, I'm just a little kid!
Ron: Alright, well, well maybe it won't be that bad, Harry.
Maybe, maybe you'll just have to fight like
Mushu from Mulan or...
I dunno, maybe...
I dunno, maybe like Puff the Magic Dragon or something...
Hermione: Ron, this is serious, okay?
Harry could die!
Now look, there's still time, alright? We just need to figure out a plan.
Harry: Okay, well we should probably do that back in the common room.
Where's- wait- where's the Invisibility Cloak?
Ron: Well I threw it over on that magical walking chair over the-
Oh crap.
Harry: Oh that's... that's gonna be an issue.
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