How to Get Over SomeoneYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
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We tend to be generous towards people who can't get over someone.
Solemos ser generosos con la gente que no puede superar a alguien.
It sounds romantic, if a little sad.
Suena romántico, Aunque un poco triste.
The love affair happened a year ago
La relación amorosa pasó hace un año
but still the ex's thought remain loyal to every detail of the story.
Pero aún los pensamientos sobre la ex se mantienen fieles a todos los detalles de la historia.
Maybe they've moved to another country.
Tal vez se mudó a otro país.
Perhaps they've married someone else.
Quizás se casó con otra persona.
Maybe, they're dead. None of it matters.
Tal vez ha muerto... nada de eso importa
The most famous fictional love affair of the 18th century
El más famoso amorío en la ficción del siglo XVIII
Goethe's Sorrows of Young Werther
"Las penas del joven Werther" de Goethe
is a hugely sympathetic study of this kind of romantic fixation.
Es un estudio verdaderamente comprensivo acerca de este tipo de obsesión amorosa.
The hero, Werther, an ardent young student
El protagonista, Werther,
falls passionately in love
Un joven estudiante vehemente, se enamora apasionadamente
with a charming and beautiful woman named Charlotte.
de una encantadora y hermosa mujer llamada Charlotte
She likes him but doesn't love him back
A ella le agrada, pero no lo ama.
in part because she's married to someone else.
en parte porque ella está casada con alguien más
There are plenty of other nice women who single, attractive, and interested in Werther.
Hay muchas otras buenas mujeres solteras, atractivas e interesadas en Werther.
But, he has no time for them.
Pero él no tiene tiene interés en ellas.
The only one he cares for is Charlotte.
La única que le importa es Charlotte,
The one who doesn't care for him.
la que no se interesa por él.
Eventually, unable to have Charlotte's love
Eventualmente, incapaz de tener el amor de Charlotte,
Werther decides to kill himself.
Werther decide suicidarse.
The novel proved hugely charming to its original audiences.
La novela fue muy encantadora para su audiencia original,
Who praised it for its deep and pure understanding of love
Que la alabaron por su profundo y puro entendimiento del amor.
This sort of unrequited passion
Este tipo de pasión no correspondida,
so often celebrated in literature and society more generally
tan a menudo celebrada en la literatura y más ampliamente, en la sociedad,
may sound generous, and in that sense, loving,
Puede sonar espléndida, y para el caso, amorosa;
but, a devotion to an unrequited situation
pero, una devoción hacia una situación no correspondida
is in truth, a clever way of ensuring that we won't end up in a relationship at all.
es en realidad, una forma inteligente de asegurarnos que no vamos a acabar en una relación, en absoluto.
That we won't ever need to suffer the realities of love.
que no vamos a tener que sufrir las realidades del amor
Fixation on an absent other
La obsesión por un otro ausente
allows us to be publicly committed to love
nos permite estar públicamente comprometidos al amor,
while privately sheltered from any of its more arduous demands.
y en privado, protegidos de cualquiera de sus rigurosas demandas.
The fear of love maybe motivated by a range of factors
El miedo al amor, puede ser provocado por una variedad de causas:
A squeamishness around hope,
Aprensión a la esperanza,
a self-hatred which makes someone else's love feel eerie,
El odio a uno mismo que hace que el amor ajeno se sienta extraño,
or a fear of self revelation which breeds a reluctance
o miedo a delatarse, que produce reticencia
to let anyone into the secret part of ourselves.
a dejar entrar a alguien a nuestras partes secretas.
The fears are serious and deserve sympathy.
Los miedos son serios, y merecen entendimiento;
But they are generally not the issues
pero generalmente no son los problemas
that the romanticly fixated person
que la persona obsesionadamente enamorada
ever wants to discuss.
quiere discutir.
They prefer to keep the spotlight on the unresponsive ex,
Prefieren mantener el foco en la insensible ex,
rather than on their motives for continuing to dwell on them.
en vez de en sus motivos para continuar obsesionados.
The way to unfixate is not to tell ourselves
La forma de solucionar esa obsesión
that we never like the person.
no es decirnos a nosotros mismos que nunca nos gustó la persona;
It's to get very serious and specific about what the attraction was based on.
es ponerse muy serios y específicos en cuanto a qué estaba basada la atracción.
And then to come to see that the qualities we had admired in the ex
Y luego poder ver que las cualidades que admirábamos en la ex
must necessarily exist in the other people
tienen que necesariamente existir en otras personas;
who don't have the set of problems that make the original relationship impossible.
que no tienen los problemas que hicieron la relación original imposible.
The careful investigation of the character of one person,
La cuidadosa investigación del carácter de una persona,
paradoxically but very liberatingly
de manera paradójica, pero también liberadora,
shows that we could in fact, also love someone else.
muestra que de hecho, también podríamos amar a alguien más.
This is not an exercise in getting us to give up on what we really want.
Este no es un ejercicio para hacernos desistir de lo que realmente queremos;
The liberating move is to see that what we want has to exist in places beyond the pain enducing character we originally identified it in.
El movimiento liberador es ver que lo que queremos tiene que existir en lugares más allá del hiriente personaje en el que originalmente lo identificamos.
We should gently recognize that being dissapointed and abandoned
Debemos reconocer gentilmente, que estar decepcionado y abandonado
has its curious satisfactions.
tiene sus curiosas satisfacciones.
It is in an emotional sense, a very safe position to be in indeed.
Es, en un sentido emocional, una posición muy segura para estar, en realidad.
Yet true love isn't to be acquitted with pining for an absent figure.
Sin embargo, el verdadero amor no debe ser igualado a descorazonarse por una figura ausente;
It means daring to engage with a truely frightening prospect.
es animarse a enfrentar un pronóstico verdaderamente aterrador:
A person who is available and thinks despite our strong background supposition to the contrary
Una persona que esté disponible y piense, a pesar de que nosotros creamos todo lo contrario,
that we're really rather nice.
que en realidad, somos bastante agradables.
That is perhaps, the only sort of challenge that properly deserve the lyrical and grand word
Esa es quizá el único tipo de desafío que realmente merece la lírica y grandiosa palabra:
ROMANTIC.
Romántico.
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