Half-LifeYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Gaming  6.8M views 175.1K likes 2.2K dislikes   08 Feb 2017
videogamedunkey 7.6M subscribers United States YouTube↗


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SCIENTIST #1: This is the purest sample we've seen yet.
VĚDEC #1: Toto je nejčistší vzorek, který jsme kdy viděli.
SCIENTIST #2: And potentially the most unstable.
VĚDEC #2: A potenciálně aji nejvíce nestabilní.
SCIENTIST #1: Now, now [ Dunkey shoots other scientist ]
VĚDEC #1: Teď, těd [Dunkey střelí druhého vědce]
[ continues ] Follow standard insertion procedures
[pokračuje] Postupujte podle standardních postupů vkládání
everything will be fine.
všechno bude v pořádku.
DEAD SCIENTIST: I don't know how you can say that.
MRTVÝ VĚDEC: Nevím jak tohle můžete říct.
SCIENTIST #1: Gordon doesn't need to hear all this.
VĚDEC #1: Gordon tohle všechno nemusí slyšet!
He's a highly trained professional.
Je vysoce vyškolený profesionál.
[ shouting over noises ] DUNKEY: Just jam this diamond in the light bulb.
DUNKEY: Prostě vecpi tenhle diamant do té žárovky!
DUNKEY: What the fuuck
DUNKAY: Co to kuurva
DUNKEY: What did I d-
DUNKAY: Co jsem to udělal-
[ H λ L F - L I F E Intro Starts ]
[ HALF-LIFE Intro Začne ]
DUNKEY: Most games, you gotta shoot 'em in the head
DUNKEY: Ve většině hrách je musíš střelit do hlavy...
But in Half-Life, you gotta shoot 'em in the hand.
Ale v Half-Life je musíš střelit do ruky.
Okay?
Dobře?
Look at this guy.
Dívej na tohohle týpka
Boom. He's outta here.
Bum. Je odsud pryč.
Never stood a chance.
Nikdy neměl šanci.
This guy is just an asshole. Okay?
Tenhle týpek je prostě jen debil. Dobře?
You don't put your hand up. That's how you die in this game.
Neukazuj svoji ruku. Tak umřeš v téhle hře.
FUCK
KURVA
He doesn't even have any hands!
On ani nemá žádné ruce!
He's invincible!
Je neporazitelný!
Oh.
Ou.
Okay he dies in two shots.
Dobrá, on umře po dvou střelách.
Game is actually a lot easier than I remember.
Ta hra je vlastně více lehčí než si pamatuji.
[ falls to death ]
[ umře pádem ]
What the fuck?
Co to kurva?
What the fuck was that?
Co to kurva bylo?
I got a crowbar. Ain't nobody-
Mám páčidlo! Nikdo mě-
[ dies ]
[ umře ]
Okay.
Dobře.
SCIENTIST: I certainly hope you know what you're doing.
VĚDEC: Opravdu doufám že víte co děláte.
DUNKEY: I- you can count on me.
DUNKEY: Já- můžeš se na mě spolehnout.
Now, just a little-
Teď, jen trošku-
Just-
Jen-
Just a little bit more!
Jen trošičku více!
Just a little-
Jen trošku-
Just a little bit more this way-
Jen trošku víc tímto směrem-
[ scientist gets pulled by Barnacle, Dunkey laughs ]
[ Barnacle přitáhne vědce, Dunkey se směje ]
Look at that stupid dumbass!
Dívejte na toho stupidního idiota!
[ continues laughing ]
[ směje se dál ]
You dumb ass hell, boy-
Ty pitomý-
AARGH GOD DAMMIT
AAAA SAKRA
Fuckin' crabheads. Fuckin'... dicksuck.
Zkurvení crapheadové. Zkurvení... čůrako-lízači
Outta my way-
Mou cestou-
PIECE OF SHIT
KUS HOVNA
PIECE OF-
KUS
FUCKING-
ZKURVENÉHO
PIECE OF SHI-
KUS HOVN-
It never stops!
Nikdy to nepřestane!
It's like the mi-
Je to jako-
Fucking piece of shit-
Zkurvený kus hovna-
Ok, that should be all of them.
Dobře to by měli být všichni
I think we're good now.
Myslím že je to v pohodě.
[ Headcrab kills Dunkey ]
[ Headcrap zabije Dunkeyho ]
GUARD: Freeman, I've been waiting for you.
HLÍDAČ: Freemane, čekal jsem na vás!
One of your scientist pals said to give you a message.
Jeden z vaších vědců chtěl abych vám něco řekl.
[ gets shot by Dunkey ] Aargh!
[ Dunkey střelí hlídače ] Aargh!
DUNKEY: And now we'll never know what that message was.
DUNKEY: A teď nikdy nebudeme vědět co za zprávu to bylo.
One second guys.
Moment.
I just gotta look up real quick something on the internet.
Musím se na něco jen rychle podívat na internetu.
To beat this guy.
Abych porazil tohoto týpka.
Oh shi-
Ou kur-
Sweet aim, dude!
Dobré míření, kámo!
For a fucking piece of shit tank that fucking died.
Zkurvnený tank konečně umřel!
I hope you learned a valuable lesson from this.
Doufám že ses něco naučil.
Don't you ever fuck with-
Nikdy si nezahrávej s-
[ turret fire, Dunkey sounds ]
[ věžička střílí Dunkeyho ]
WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FU-
CO TO KURVA CO TO KUR-
GET THIS PIECE OF SHIT OUTTA MY-
DEJTE TENHLE KUS HOVNA-
Not even close.
Dokonce ani blízko.
SCIENTIST: You're going to have to leave me here, Gordon
VĚDEC: Budete mě tu muset nechat, Gordone.
DUNKEY: Are you sure about that?
DUNKEY: Jste si jistý?
GUARD: Stupid machine!
HLÍDAČ: Stupidní automat!
[ Dunkey mumbling in the background ] Why don't these ever seem to work?
[ Dunkeyho mumlání v pozadí ] Proč skoro nikdy tyto věci nefungují?
DUNKEY: Something funny is gonna happen, like the vending machine's gonna fall on 'im-
DUNKEY: Něco srandovního se stane, třeba ten automat spadne na-
[ guard kills Dunkey ]
[ hlídač zabije Dunkeyho ]
ANNOUNCER: Hello there.
HLASATEL: Dobrý den.
DUNKEY: Hello.
DUNKEY: Zdravím.
ANNOUNCER: You're about to enter our facility to show off the graphics of the Goldsource engine, even though it hasn't aged too well.
HLASATEL: Pravě budete vstupovat naše zařízení pro pochlubení grafiky našeho Goldsource enginu, i když nezůstal příliš dobře.
SCIENTIST: With my brains and your brawn, we'll make an excellent team!
VĚDEC: S mým mozkem a vašími svaly uděláme skvělý tým!
Ok, well, whatever you do, DO NOT walk through the blue laser. Okay?
Dobrá, no, ať už uděláš cokoliv, NECHOĎ přes ten modrý laser. Dobře?
[ scientist walks through the blue laser, killing Dunkey ]
[ vědec přejde přes modrý laser a zabije Dunkeyho ]
Barney, look!
Berney, dívej!
These guys are escaping!
Tihle týpci utíkají!
Hey guys!
Čau hoši!
[ scientists scream in pain and agony ]
[ vědci ječí v bolesti ]
Take us with, guys!
Vezměte nás sebou!
We wanna escape too!
Taky chceme utéct!
Come on, Barn-
Notak, Barn-
Check this shit out.
Dívejte na toto!
Come get me, dickhead!
Pojď mě dostat, kreténe!
[ dickhead dies, yells "medic" from beyond the grave ]
[ kretén umře, a zařve "medic" z jeho hrobu ]
Why am I up against a ninja SWAT team now?
Proč jsem proti ninja SWAT teamu teď?
I'm just a shitty scientist with a crowbar!
Jsem jen debilní vědec s páčidlem!
GUARD: Freeman, right? I got a message for ya.
HLÍDAČ: Freeman, že? Mám pro vás zprávu.
[ Dunkey kills guard yet again ]
[ Dunkey zabije hlídače znova ]
DUNKEY: And now we'll never know what that message was.
DUNKEY: A teď nikdy nebudeme vědět co za zprávu to bylo.
Okay, I'm really confused right now.
Dobře, jsem hodně zmatený.
I think maybe we should've not killed that guy.
Možná jsem neměl zabít toho týpka.
And actually heard what the message was.
A možná poslouchal co za zprávu to bylo.
I think we're gonna go back, actually.
Myslím že půjdeme zpět.
GUARD: Freeman, right? I got a message for ya.
HLÍDAČ: Freeman, že? Mám pro vás zprávu.
Make sure you don't-
Ujistěte se že neuděláte-
[ guard suddenly dies ]
[ hlídač z ničeho nic umře ]
DUNKEY: What?
DUNKEY: Cože?
Guys, that wasn't me!
To jsem nebyl já!
He just died!
On prostě umřel!
[ gasps ]
[ zajíkne se ]
There he is!
Támhle je!
Now, remember the trick.
Teď, pamatujte ten trik.
Just keep shootin' 'em in the hand!
Prostě je střílejte do ruk!
Half-Life? More like No-Life.
Half-Life? Spíše No-Life
ANNOUNCER: Okay, we are here, and, wow, these graphics sure are stunning.
HLASATEL: Dobrá, jsme tady, a, wow, ta grafika je opravdu ohromující!
Which is what I would say if it was 1998.
Což bych řekl kdyby byl rok 1998.
[ Dunkey laughs ]
[ Dunkey se směje ]
Y'know what that is, buddy?
Víš co to je?
That is reinforced 6-inch bulletproof glass.
To je vyztužené 6-ti centimetrové protiskluzové sklo.
It means you do not get out-
To znamená že se nedostaneš ven-
[ Alien Grunt breaks free ]
[ dostane se ven ]
OH GOD-
O BOŽE-
HE FUCKING BROKE IT OFF
ON TO ZNIČIL
Know what that is?
Víš co to je?
That is reinforced bullet-
To je vyztužené protiskluz-
[ Headcrabs break free ]
[ Headcrabové se dostanou ven ]
I got this.
Dám to.
I got- [dies]
Dám- [umře]
Dammit.
Sakra.
Attempt seven.
Sedmý pokus.
This is impossible.
To je nemožné!
This is the one. This is the one.
Teď to dám! Teď to dám!
[ Dunkey sounds ]
[ Dunkey ]
HEV SUIT: Emergency. User death imminent.
HEV OBLEK: Stav nouze. Smrt uživatele bezprostřední.
DUNKEY: User death imminent?
DUNKEY: Smrt uživatele bezprostřední?
I don't think so.
Nemyslím si.
♫ What a thrill... ♫
[ zpěv ]
Now, lemme-
Teď, nechte mě-
[ sudden enemy spawn ]
[ z ničeho nic se objeví nepřítel ]
OH MY FUCKING GOD
O MŮJ BOŽE
I'm a goddamn genius for this. Watch.
Za tohle budu génius! Dívejte.
I put out all these goons, right?
Vyhodím všechny tyhle brouky, jo?
And they're just gonna beat the whole level for me.
A oni to za mě celé udělají.
Okay?
Dobře?
Oh, why are they coming back?
Ou, proč jdou zpátky?
Now this is- this is-
Teď tohle- tohle je-
[ screaming ] AAAAH WHAT THE FUCK
[ křící ] AHHHH CO TO KURVA
[ screaming continues ]
[ křik pokračuje ]
STOP CHASING ME
PŘESTAŇTE MĚ HONIT!
[ dies ]
[ umře ]
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