Stop Money From Ruining Your Relationships Just Between Us English (United States) English

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- Hello Erin, will you tell the listening slash viewing

- Hello Erin, will you tell the listening slash viewing

audience who you are and what you do?

audience who you are and what you do?

- I am Erin Lowry, author of the now three part

- I am Erin Lowry, author of the now three part

"Broke Millennial" series.

"Broke Millennial" series.

And I like to call myself a financial translator,

And I like to call myself a financial translator,

I think it's the most accurate description

I think it's the most accurate description

for what I try to do.

for what I try to do.

Personal finance expert also gets bandied about.

Personal finance expert also gets bandied about.

But really my goal is just to help make

But really my goal is just to help make

very complicated financial conversations

very complicated financial conversations

a bit more easy to digest.

a bit more easy to digest.

And then my most recent book is

And then my most recent book is

"Broke Millennial Talks Money",

"Broke Millennial Talks Money",

which is all about how to

which is all about how to

actually have these incredibly awkward conversations.

actually have these incredibly awkward conversations.

- So the awkwardness seems to be a running theme.

- So the awkwardness seems to be a running theme.

Why do people not wanna talk about money?

Why do people not wanna talk about money?

- Oh, I wish there was just a super short,

- Oh, I wish there was just a super short,

succinct answer for why.

succinct answer for why.

It's a multitude of reasons.

It's a multitude of reasons.

Some of it is cultural, some of it has to do with society,

Some of it is cultural, some of it has to do with society,

some of it has to do with our own innate feelings

some of it has to do with our own innate feelings

of whether it's guilt, or shame,

of whether it's guilt, or shame,

whether it's because you feel like you don't have enough,

whether it's because you feel like you don't have enough,

or you have too much, or you were told at some point

or you have too much, or you were told at some point

in your life that this is inappropriate,

in your life that this is inappropriate,

and rude, and we shouldn't talk about it.

and rude, and we shouldn't talk about it.

There's just myriad reasons why we feel this way.

There's just myriad reasons why we feel this way.

None of them are wrong, everything is justified

None of them are wrong, everything is justified

for why you might feel uncomfortable.

for why you might feel uncomfortable.

But I personally am of the belief

But I personally am of the belief

that at the end of the day, it's all about judgment.

that at the end of the day, it's all about judgment.

That is what we're afraid of.

That is what we're afraid of.

So whether it is being really honest with a friend

So whether it is being really honest with a friend

about the fact that you have credit card debt,

about the fact that you have credit card debt,

or being open with a partner about the fact

or being open with a partner about the fact

that you have student loans,

that you have student loans,

or talking about the kind of lifestyle

or talking about the kind of lifestyle

that you wanna live and feeling judged.

that you wanna live and feeling judged.

We are so much less likely to have that conversation

We are so much less likely to have that conversation

with a dear friend, or a sibling,

with a dear friend, or a sibling,

or a romantic partner, than a stranger on an airplane.

or a romantic partner, than a stranger on an airplane.

(Gaby laughing)

(Gaby laughing)

I've had so many in depth financial conversations

I've had so many in depth financial conversations

with total strangers because they're like,

with total strangers because they're like,

I'll never see this girl again, it doesn't matter.

I'll never see this girl again, it doesn't matter.

Where my friends, it's a mixed bag.

Where my friends, it's a mixed bag.

Some are very, very honest.

Some are very, very honest.

Some were honest and then got married,

Some were honest and then got married,

and then got a little less forthcoming

and then got a little less forthcoming

because now it's somebody else's financial life

because now it's somebody else's financial life

is part of the equation.

is part of the equation.

And it's a lot about boundary setting,

And it's a lot about boundary setting,

and finding what feels good to you.

and finding what feels good to you.

But fundamentally, judgment would be the most

But fundamentally, judgment would be the most

succinct answer to that question.

succinct answer to that question.

- I asked on TikTok for people's best questions

- I asked on TikTok for people's best questions

about money, or most pressing questions about money.

about money, or most pressing questions about money.

So one person asked, how do you navigate different

So one person asked, how do you navigate different

class backgrounds in a relationship?

class backgrounds in a relationship?

I know you just did this whole book

I know you just did this whole book

about relationships and stuff, I'm in it.

about relationships and stuff, I'm in it.

So yeah, someone on TikTok wanted to know,

So yeah, someone on TikTok wanted to know,

how do you navigate different class backgrounds

how do you navigate different class backgrounds

in a romantic relationship?

in a romantic relationship?

- First, there is no solution.

- First, there is no solution.

(both laughing)

(both laughing)

And I am not trying to say that as a flippant thing.

And I am not trying to say that as a flippant thing.

I'm in that dynamic,

I'm in that dynamic,

my husband and I come from very different

my husband and I come from very different

socioeconomic backgrounds, we grew up very differently.

socioeconomic backgrounds, we grew up very differently.

How our families talk about

How our families talk about

and relate to money is very different.

and relate to money is very different.

And there's a term that gets used in the book

And there's a term that gets used in the book

by Dr. Brad Klontz, who was on I think,

by Dr. Brad Klontz, who was on I think,

like episode one or two on "Bad With Money".

like episode one or two on "Bad With Money".

And he brought up this term, perpetual problem,

And he brought up this term, perpetual problem,

when I was interviewing him for the book.

when I was interviewing him for the book.

And I think that coming from different socioeconomic classes

And I think that coming from different socioeconomic classes

often is an underlying perpetual problem in a relationship.

often is an underlying perpetual problem in a relationship.

It doesn't mean that it is forever going to cause angst,

It doesn't mean that it is forever going to cause angst,

it doesn't mean that there is no solution to ways that it,

it doesn't mean that there is no solution to ways that it,

what would I say about it?

what would I say about it?

There are ways to work through it,

There are ways to work through it,

but there will always be times where you two

but there will always be times where you two

have fundamentally different reactions to a situation.

have fundamentally different reactions to a situation.

What is funny to me is just because one comes

What is funny to me is just because one comes

from a lower end of the socioeconomic ladder

from a lower end of the socioeconomic ladder

does not mean that they are less likely to want to spend.

does not mean that they are less likely to want to spend.

I would argue that some of the times

I would argue that some of the times

when somebody comes from the wealthier background,

when somebody comes from the wealthier background,

they're the one that can get very like,

they're the one that can get very like,

'bout boundaries, defensive about how to spend money,

'bout boundaries, defensive about how to spend money,

very particular about how money gets spent,

very particular about how money gets spent,

because that could've been the messaging

because that could've been the messaging

that was passed down from them from their parents.

that was passed down from them from their parents.

We get to blame all of this on our parents.

We get to blame all of this on our parents.

(both laughing)

(both laughing)

- It's so true.

- It's so true.

Often it is the person who comes from money

Often it is the person who comes from money

who is a little bit more cautious.

who is a little bit more cautious.

'Cause you would think it would be the opposite,

'Cause you would think it would be the opposite,

and then it's the person who doesn't come from money.

and then it's the person who doesn't come from money.

who's like, well fuck it, we lose money

who's like, well fuck it, we lose money

and gain money all the time, what does it matter?

and gain money all the time, what does it matter?

- A big part of that does need to be

- A big part of that does need to be

about the two of you communicating to each other

about the two of you communicating to each other

what your baseline needs and wants are.

what your baseline needs and wants are.

You can also have a conversation about how the two of you

You can also have a conversation about how the two of you

handle money as a couple,

handle money as a couple,

especially if you get married

especially if you get married

and there's like a legal co-mingling of assets

and there's like a legal co-mingling of assets

in a particular way.

in a particular way.

Where it might be that you need to either

Where it might be that you need to either

stay totally separate, or maybe it's that,

stay totally separate, or maybe it's that,

and what we do, we kinda do the hybrid model.

and what we do, we kinda do the hybrid model.

We do joint banking for a lot of our bills,

We do joint banking for a lot of our bills,

and investments, and savings,

and investments, and savings,

but we each have separate accounts for our spending money.

but we each have separate accounts for our spending money.

Because it reduces a lot of nitpicking at each other

Because it reduces a lot of nitpicking at each other

about how money is being spent.

about how money is being spent.

And when you have this kind of underlying perpetual problem

And when you have this kind of underlying perpetual problem

around stuff like that,

around stuff like that,

then the one who is a bit more fixated on saving,

then the one who is a bit more fixated on saving,

can just save the money,

can just save the money,

and the one who wants to spend, can spend the money,

and the one who wants to spend, can spend the money,

and it's within an amount that feels comfortable

and it's within an amount that feels comfortable

in your relationship dynamic, it feels comfortable

in your relationship dynamic, it feels comfortable

for the goals that you've set together.

for the goals that you've set together.

I personally advocate for some level

I personally advocate for some level

of autonomy in a relationship.

of autonomy in a relationship.

Just because two of you have gotten together

Just because two of you have gotten together

you're not like an amorphous blob

you're not like an amorphous blob

that have just become one entity.

that have just become one entity.

You're allowed to be two separate beings

You're allowed to be two separate beings

who have very different emotional reactions to money.

who have very different emotional reactions to money.

That is a big part of working through money conversations

That is a big part of working through money conversations

is acknowledging your emotional triggers around it,

is acknowledging your emotional triggers around it,

and sharing that with your partner.

and sharing that with your partner.

- I was gonna say, yeah,

- I was gonna say, yeah,

how do you keep from in these conversations,

how do you keep from in these conversations,

how do you keep it from getting so emotional?

how do you keep it from getting so emotional?

I feel like go in super prepared

I feel like go in super prepared

with what you wanna say, and have a set time

with what you wanna say, and have a set time

so it's not just a random fight at two in the morning.

so it's not just a random fight at two in the morning.

How do you go into that without it being like,

How do you go into that without it being like,

it requires so much vulnerability,

it requires so much vulnerability,

at least in my experience.

at least in my experience.

- Oh, I think vulnerability is the key part of this.

- Oh, I think vulnerability is the key part of this.

Which you hope if you're in a committed relationship dynamic

Which you hope if you're in a committed relationship dynamic

that you are okay with a certain level of vulnerability.

that you are okay with a certain level of vulnerability.

But that can take work--

But that can take work--

- And there's much resentment I've heard from people.

- And there's much resentment I've heard from people.

I pay for everything,

I pay for everything,

I pay for even like when we go to dates,

I pay for even like when we go to dates,

and coffee, and whatever.

and coffee, and whatever.

And it just starts to build resentment,

And it just starts to build resentment,

and then the other person could get offended

and then the other person could get offended

by the resentment, it's like such a mess.

by the resentment, it's like such a mess.

- It is, and I also, one of the other lines that I love

- It is, and I also, one of the other lines that I love

from the book is the idea of fair,

from the book is the idea of fair,

equal isn't always fair.

equal isn't always fair.

And that is really important

And that is really important

when we're talking about socioeconomic differences.

when we're talking about socioeconomic differences.

Whether it's what you came from,

Whether it's what you came from,

or whether it is where you stand currently

or whether it is where you stand currently

in terms of income.

in terms of income.

Because the idea for instance of splitting things 50 50,

Because the idea for instance of splitting things 50 50,

we've kinda been conditioned to believe,

we've kinda been conditioned to believe,

well that's fair, 50 50.

well that's fair, 50 50.

Well, it's not if one person is making $250,000

Well, it's not if one person is making $250,000

and one person is making $60,000, that is not fair.

and one person is making $60,000, that is not fair.

Or when you think about family support.

Or when you think about family support.

'Cause that is also where some of these conversations

'Cause that is also where some of these conversations

can really get tense is if one person's parents

can really get tense is if one person's parents

or siblings don't need to be financially supported,

or siblings don't need to be financially supported,

and the other person's do,

and the other person's do,

one might then start to be like, well it's not fair

one might then start to be like, well it's not fair

that we have to keep doing this.

that we have to keep doing this.

Again, fair isn't always equal, equal isn't always fair,

Again, fair isn't always equal, equal isn't always fair,

however you kinda wanna think about it in your head.

however you kinda wanna think about it in your head.

Part of being in a relationship with somebody

Part of being in a relationship with somebody

to a degree is also committing

to a degree is also committing

to their family dynamics, and their family.

to their family dynamics, and their family.

Now, of course there can be times

Now, of course there can be times

when their family member is abusing that relationship,

when their family member is abusing that relationship,

and you have to set boundaries.

and you have to set boundaries.

But you also have to be very honest and open

But you also have to be very honest and open

with your partner about what does it look like as we grow,

with your partner about what does it look like as we grow,

as we have our own financial goals,

as we have our own financial goals,

as our life changes, and supporting a parent.

as our life changes, and supporting a parent.

And you have to figure out for yourself

And you have to figure out for yourself

if you're the person whose family member

if you're the person whose family member

is not being supported, you need to figure out

is not being supported, you need to figure out

how to release any type of resentment you might feel

how to release any type of resentment you might feel

about supporting a family member who needs it.

about supporting a family member who needs it.

And part of that might need to be

And part of that might need to be

acknowledging systemic issues that's led to your family

acknowledging systemic issues that's led to your family

being able to be in the position they're in,

being able to be in the position they're in,

and their family not.

and their family not.

Part of it could just be having

Part of it could just be having

a very honest conversation with your partner.

a very honest conversation with your partner.

You might need to bring in a counselor,

You might need to bring in a counselor,

you might need to see a therapist separately.

you might need to see a therapist separately.

There's so many different ways to handle this.

There's so many different ways to handle this.

You have to figure out what works for you,

You have to figure out what works for you,

and you have to figure out how to release any resentment

and you have to figure out how to release any resentment

around the decision that is getting made.

around the decision that is getting made.

So that every month if you're writing the check,

So that every month if you're writing the check,

it's not like this check,

it's not like this check,

like you gotta just let it go.

like you gotta just let it go.

- That's the thing is that it's never just money.

- That's the thing is that it's never just money.

Then it becomes emotional triggers,

Then it becomes emotional triggers,

and vulnerability, and embarrassment,

and vulnerability, and embarrassment,

and it's just like this inanimate ubiquitous thing,

and it's just like this inanimate ubiquitous thing,

in that it's never just that, is what I've found.

in that it's never just that, is what I've found.

- Money I feel like is just a way we've managed

- Money I feel like is just a way we've managed

to quantify a realm of our lives

to quantify a realm of our lives

that then is just tied to like every type

that then is just tied to like every type

of trauma we've ever experienced,

of trauma we've ever experienced,

every emotional relationship we've ever had.

every emotional relationship we've ever had.

It's also not just your family, obviously,

It's also not just your family, obviously,

it could be friends that are hitting your buttons,

it could be friends that are hitting your buttons,

partners that are hitting your triggers.

partners that are hitting your triggers.

You also might not know what your triggers are.

You also might not know what your triggers are.

And that's a big part of this

And that's a big part of this

when you're in a partnership dynamic,

when you're in a partnership dynamic,

you need to do the self reflection to figure out

you need to do the self reflection to figure out

what is it about money

what is it about money

that I have an unhealthy toxic relationship with?

that I have an unhealthy toxic relationship with?

Money is literally my profession,

Money is literally my profession,

I definitely need a financial therapist.

I definitely need a financial therapist.

- I cry all the time.

- I cry all the time.

(Gaby laughing)

(Gaby laughing)

- Yeah, I am constantly in a state of stress and anxiety

- Yeah, I am constantly in a state of stress and anxiety

about money because my money script is very much about

about money because my money script is very much about

money vigilance in a way, or like, I like to have it,

money vigilance in a way, or like, I like to have it,

I wanna hoard it, I wanna build it,

I wanna hoard it, I wanna build it,

I'm afraid that it's all gonna go away.

I'm afraid that it's all gonna go away.

- I just looked at my accounts and I was like, oh,

- I just looked at my accounts and I was like, oh,

and I'm like, oh, it's a little bit less than I would want.

and I'm like, oh, it's a little bit less than I would want.

And then my brain immediately said,

And then my brain immediately said,

well, it's a little bit less than you want,

well, it's a little bit less than you want,

and you know what?

and you know what?

You're gonna get cancer tomorrow,

You're gonna get cancer tomorrow,

and you're gonna regret

and you're gonna regret

that you don't have that extra thousand dollars you want

that you don't have that extra thousand dollars you want

because you're a dumb bitch who's gonna get cancer.

because you're a dumb bitch who's gonna get cancer.

Which doesn't even connect,

Which doesn't even connect,

could've saved that extra thousand dollars

could've saved that extra thousand dollars

and now you deserve to be sick.

and now you deserve to be sick.

Like, it's so twisted and wrong,

Like, it's so twisted and wrong,

and it's just in there.

and it's just in there.

- And it can fluctuate to such extremes too,

- And it can fluctuate to such extremes too,

where I have both versions of this.

where I have both versions of this.

Where I will feel at times like, how do we not have more?

Where I will feel at times like, how do we not have more?

How have I not invested in a way that has built more?

How have I not invested in a way that has built more?

I have been working in this field for so long.

I have been working in this field for so long.

And also because everybody and their mother

And also because everybody and their mother

posts these net worth updates, and I just feel like

posts these net worth updates, and I just feel like

what am I doing wrong?

what am I doing wrong?

And I work in this industry.

And I work in this industry.

My sister got me a piece of art that's in my office

My sister got me a piece of art that's in my office

that I see above my desk that says like,

that I see above my desk that says like,

stop comparing yourself to people on the internet.

stop comparing yourself to people on the internet.

I feel that way.

I feel that way.

I mean, we all do.

I mean, we all do.

Everyone has, even experts,

Everyone has, even experts,

have complicated relationships to money.

have complicated relationships to money.

And I think it is so important for all of us

And I think it is so important for all of us

to also be honest about that fact,

to also be honest about that fact,

that there are a lot of relationship dynamics

that there are a lot of relationship dynamics

that I am very comfortable navigating

that I am very comfortable navigating

that the average person might not be,

that the average person might not be,

because literally wrote the book on it.

because literally wrote the book on it.

But my own personal emotional relationship with things,

But my own personal emotional relationship with things,

I still go back and forth all the time.

I still go back and forth all the time.

- Yeah, it doesn't have to make sense.

- Yeah, it doesn't have to make sense.

It's just intrusive thoughts.

It's just intrusive thoughts.

(Gaby laughing)

(Gaby laughing)

- Yeah, it's fun isn't it?

- Yeah, it's fun isn't it?

(Erin laughing)

(Erin laughing)

- Okay, so someone asked, is it during this time,

- Okay, so someone asked, is it during this time,

is it better to live with your parents

is it better to live with your parents

and sort of be, if you can,

and sort of be, if you can,

and sort of be a little bit like, give up autonomy,

and sort of be a little bit like, give up autonomy,

or like sacrifice things in order to save for the future?

or like sacrifice things in order to save for the future?

Or, this person was worried about like,

Or, this person was worried about like,

should I move back in with my parents?

should I move back in with my parents?

Should I do all of these things that I see as backward steps

Should I do all of these things that I see as backward steps

in order to get money for the future?

in order to get money for the future?

- Yeah, so I wanna unpack two different parts of that.

- Yeah, so I wanna unpack two different parts of that.

First of all, let's try to separate the morality play

First of all, let's try to separate the morality play

that all too often comes up in personal finance.

that all too often comes up in personal finance.

And by that I mean this idea

And by that I mean this idea

of some level of debt is bad.

of some level of debt is bad.

You have totally done something wrong in your life,

You have totally done something wrong in your life,

and screwed up if you've ever amassed any form of debt,

and screwed up if you've ever amassed any form of debt,

or that you're somehow immoral for doing so.

or that you're somehow immoral for doing so.

Or, oh one of my personal favorites

Or, oh one of my personal favorites

on a recent clip from a, I won't name it

on a recent clip from a, I won't name it

news channel that I saw was basically like,

news channel that I saw was basically like,

it is immoral not to repay a debt such as,

it is immoral not to repay a debt such as,

like student loan forgiveness cancellation shouldn't exist

like student loan forgiveness cancellation shouldn't exist

because it's immoral for you not to repay it.

because it's immoral for you not to repay it.

Because every 18 year old totally understands

Because every 18 year old totally understands

what they're signing up for when they sign those contracts.

what they're signing up for when they sign those contracts.

I do think it's really critical to not intertwine those two

I do think it's really critical to not intertwine those two

and bring all the shame into it,

and bring all the shame into it,

I know that's very hard to do.

I know that's very hard to do.

And also not to try to benchmark your life steps

And also not to try to benchmark your life steps

against the where you're supposed to be's,

against the where you're supposed to be's,

which as I just admitted to, I do as well, we all do it.

which as I just admitted to, I do as well, we all do it.

This pandemic and like, truly so unprecedented,

This pandemic and like, truly so unprecedented,

in such a way that we can point to previous recessions,

in such a way that we can point to previous recessions,

and financial fallouts, and there can be some level

and financial fallouts, and there can be some level

of personal accountability where like,

of personal accountability where like,

I mean you signed for the mortgage

I mean you signed for the mortgage

that smelled a little funny,

that smelled a little funny,

or the .com bubble burst,

or the .com bubble burst,

we kinda saw some writing on the wall.

we kinda saw some writing on the wall.

There are moments where people can at least somewhat point

There are moments where people can at least somewhat point

to personal responsibility if they wanna bring it in.

to personal responsibility if they wanna bring it in.

This, we cannot.

This, we cannot.

(Gaby laughing)

(Gaby laughing)

You working in entertainment, or the hospitality industry,

You working in entertainment, or the hospitality industry,

and the whole world's shutting down for a year,

and the whole world's shutting down for a year,

you can not help that.

you can not help that.

- You weren't like retail and waitresses

- You weren't like retail and waitresses

will surely not be jobs.

will surely not be jobs.

Like that just didn't occur to anyone.

Like that just didn't occur to anyone.

So to think that, hey, if I have a personal safety net

So to think that, hey, if I have a personal safety net

that I can turn to in this time, yeah, use it.

that I can turn to in this time, yeah, use it.

There's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with that.

I also really do think one of the ways

I also really do think one of the ways

we all need to reimagine an emergency fund

we all need to reimagine an emergency fund

is in addition to money that we need to be putting aside

is in addition to money that we need to be putting aside

for an emergency, is also thinking about what is

for an emergency, is also thinking about what is

our personal safety net in terms of family

our personal safety net in terms of family

that could take us in or loan us money,

that could take us in or loan us money,

friends that we could turn to.

friends that we could turn to.

And that, then this ties to point two

And that, then this ties to point two

that is not a mentally unhealthy place for us to be.

that is not a mentally unhealthy place for us to be.

That to me is the other big part of this idea of,

That to me is the other big part of this idea of,

I get why for some people it feels

I get why for some people it feels

like a level of regression to move back in.

like a level of regression to move back in.

No matter where you are in your life,

No matter where you are in your life,

if you need to turn to a loved one for help, that's okay.

if you need to turn to a loved one for help, that's okay.

- And it's lovely that you have that.

- And it's lovely that you have that.

I think we've got too individualized

I think we've got too individualized

in certain cultures where like, I've talked to,

in certain cultures where like, I've talked to,

for my book "Bad with Money", I've talked to people

for my book "Bad with Money", I've talked to people

from cultures where it's completely,

from cultures where it's completely,

multiple generations of a family live together

multiple generations of a family live together

and that's lovely.

and that's lovely.

- Yeah, and normal, and like, of course you live together.

- Yeah, and normal, and like, of course you live together.

I would also though say,

I would also though say,

depending on your relationship dynamic

depending on your relationship dynamic

with whether it's parents, siblings,

with whether it's parents, siblings,

is this a mentally healthy environment for you to live in?

is this a mentally healthy environment for you to live in?

What is your dynamic with your parents,

What is your dynamic with your parents,

or your grandparents, or whomever?

or your grandparents, or whomever?

I do really feel, especially in a time like this,

I do really feel, especially in a time like this,

our mental health does need to be prioritized.

our mental health does need to be prioritized.

- I know, it's hard to be like,

- I know, it's hard to be like,

I think for a lot of people it's like,

I think for a lot of people it's like,

it might be worth going into a little debt

it might be worth going into a little debt

or spending above my means in order to not have to

or spending above my means in order to not have to

deal with my dad's verbal abuse,

deal with my dad's verbal abuse,

or my mom's misunderstanding of my gender,

or my mom's misunderstanding of my gender,

or things like that.

or things like that.

- And it's hard to also say like,

- And it's hard to also say like,

hey just amass some debt to--

hey just amass some debt to--

- And I get both sides of that,

- And I get both sides of that,

but I do think the pandemic, if it's taught us nothing else

but I do think the pandemic, if it's taught us nothing else

is that mental health is really one of the things

is that mental health is really one of the things

we need to be most protective of.

we need to be most protective of.

And without that, so many other elements

And without that, so many other elements

of our life can start to fall apart.

of our life can start to fall apart.

And so really trying to consider ways

And so really trying to consider ways

that you can try to at least risk mitigate.

that you can try to at least risk mitigate.

Maybe it's a month, maybe you're like mentally

Maybe it's a month, maybe you're like mentally

I can handle a month, if I can even just save up money

I can handle a month, if I can even just save up money

for a month moving in, great.

for a month moving in, great.

And setting those kind of timelines and boundaries.

And setting those kind of timelines and boundaries.

And if you can, talking to the loved one

And if you can, talking to the loved one

that you're moving in,

that you're moving in,

and trying to set healthy boundaries with them as well.

and trying to set healthy boundaries with them as well.

Like, hey I'm 30, I know I'm moving back home

Like, hey I'm 30, I know I'm moving back home

but we're not gonna regress to 18 year old me

but we're not gonna regress to 18 year old me

having these times of curfews, and yelling at me about--

having these times of curfews, and yelling at me about--

- We're not gonna talk about like,

- We're not gonna talk about like,

I'm not gonna listen to you

I'm not gonna listen to you

give your opinion on my politics.

give your opinion on my politics.

That's not a thing we're gonna discuss while we're here.

That's not a thing we're gonna discuss while we're here.

Would love to talk to you about old films and reality shows,

Would love to talk to you about old films and reality shows,

would not love to talk about my sexuality.

would not love to talk about my sexuality.

- Exactly, and I do think it is very fair.

- Exactly, and I do think it is very fair.

I get it, my house my rules mentality

I get it, my house my rules mentality

that a lot of parents have,

that a lot of parents have,

but it is also very fair for you to set your boundaries

but it is also very fair for you to set your boundaries

and to just leave a room, or walk out of the house,

and to just leave a room, or walk out of the house,

or whatever you need to do to protect yourself as well.

or whatever you need to do to protect yourself as well.

- Well thank you so much.

- Well thank you so much.

I appreciate you dropping by to help me promote

I appreciate you dropping by to help me promote

"Bad With Money" the podcast, which will return March 31st.

"Bad With Money" the podcast, which will return March 31st.

Where can people find stuff about you and your stuff?

Where can people find stuff about you and your stuff?

- Most active on Instagram,

- Most active on Instagram,

so that's @brokemillennialblog.

so that's @brokemillennialblog.

Every Wednesday I do an ask me anything,

Every Wednesday I do an ask me anything,

so if you have a pressing question please come ask,

so if you have a pressing question please come ask,

or slide into my DMs, that's fine.

or slide into my DMs, that's fine.

But definitely Wednesdays.

But definitely Wednesdays.

My website's brokemillenial.com.

My website's brokemillenial.com.

All three of the books are available

All three of the books are available

wherever books are sold.

wherever books are sold.

Please shop local, always wanna be plugging that.

Please shop local, always wanna be plugging that.

And if it's not in your budget right now

And if it's not in your budget right now

to buy a book, library,

to buy a book, library,

and if they don't have it, request it.

and if they don't have it, request it.

- There's also a really lovely app called Libby

- There's also a really lovely app called Libby

that lets you get books on your phone

that lets you get books on your phone

and I'm a big fan of that.

and I'm a big fan of that.

Well, thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

Well, thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

Also there's an episode of "Bad With Money"

Also there's an episode of "Bad With Money"

with Erin on it, so you should look and find that too.

with Erin on it, so you should look and find that too.

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