Camp Camp: Season 2, Episode 6 - Quartermaster Appreciation Day | Rooster TeethYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
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David: All right, I've had it up to here with all of you!
我受够你们了
And I didn't even think that was possible!
我都没有想到你们能干出这种事
Max: What?!
怎么了
David: This is the 4th time this week you've all been rude
这是你们这周第四次如此粗鲁地对待
to our dear, dear Quartermaster!
我们亲爱的老船长
Do you think he likes being suspended from the ceiling against his will?
你们觉得他愿意这样从天花板上吊着吗
QM: Do not speak for my interests.
不要对我的爱好说三道四
David: I think it's high time you treated him with respect!
我觉得你们应该对他以礼相待
Nikki: I mean, we left his pants on!
我们让他穿着裤子了
Gwen: Come on, kids! This is shitty!
别闹了 孩子们 太过分了
Even by your standards!
就算从你们的角度看也一样
David: Which is why today is no longer Wednesday!
最重要的是今天不再是星期三了
But the first ever "Quartermaster Appreciation Day!"
而是第一个『老船长感恩日』
AND Wednesday! [Collective groaning]
和星期三
Now, I want each of you to go out and find - or make -
现在 我要求你们出去找找 或者制作
a gift that truly exemplifies
一个能够真正代表
your love and admiration for our hard-working groundskeeper!
你们对老船长的爱意或钦佩之情的礼物
QM: I have given you nothing to revere.
我身上没什么值得你们尊敬的
I will betray you all when the opportunity arises.
只要时机成熟 我就会把你们全都出卖掉
David: (ahem) Quartermaster, to try and show you just
老船长 为了表达
how much I care about you-
我有多么的在乎你
QM: You'll be first.
第一个卖你
David: -I went out and found the best gift I could think of!
我找到了我能想到的最棒的礼物
Your last living relative!
你最后一个还在世的亲人
Well, the last one the government knows about!
起码是政府知道的最后一个
QM: You did what now?!
你干了什么
David: Come on in!
进来吧
Neil: I think I'm gonna be sick!
我好像要吐了
Max: Is that-?
那是
David: Yeppers! It's the quartermaster's quartersister! [Preston pukes]
没错 这就是老船长的老船妹
David: Well?
怎么样
QM: YOU GODDAMN BITCH
你他妈的混蛋
I TOLD YOU TO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME
跟你说了离我远点
QS: YOU CAN'T CONTROL MY LIFE
你不能掌控我的人生
I DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT!
我可以随时随地做我想做的事
David: Uh, Gwen, what is happening?!
格温 怎么了
Gwen: No clue, but if the Kardashians
不清除 但是如果卡戴珊家族的故事
have taught me anything,
给我什么启发的话
I think we can make a TV show out of it!
我猜我们也能做个一样的电视节目
QM: I'LL KILL YOU THIS TIME, WHORE!
我这次非杀了你
I DON'T MISS TWICE!
我不可能失手两次的
Gwen: We can definitely make a TV show out of it!
我们肯定能拍个节目出来
Ohhhhh {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
哦
{QM and QS continue arguing in the background) There's a place I know that's tucked There's a place I know that's tucked away, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
我知道一个能藏匿 能欢愉的地方
A place where you and I can stay! {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) Where we can go to laugh and play, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
一个能够让我们欢笑玩耍 每天冒险的地方
And have adventures everyday! {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) I know it sounds hard to believe, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
我知道这难以置信 但是孩子们这是真的
But guys and gals it's true, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) Camp Campbell is the place for me and you! {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
那个地方就是坎贝尔夏令营
We'll swim through lakes and climb up trees, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
我们游泳又爬树
Catch fish, bugs, bears, and honeybees! {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
抓鱼抓虫抓熊抓蜂
There's endless possibilities {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
这里有无尽可能
And no, that's NOT hyperbole! {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
我可一点都没夸张
Our motto's "Campe Diem" and that means I'm tellin' you {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
我们的座右铭是『珍惜当下』所以我要告诉你
We've got archery, hiking, search-and-rescue, biking {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
我们有
horseback, training-that-will-save-you-from-a-heart-attack, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
射箭 旅行 搜索救援 自行车 骑马
scuba-diving, miming, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
心脏病急救 潜水 哑剧
football, limbo, science, stunting, pre-cal, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
足球 魔鬼训练 科学 特技 微积分先修 太空旅行 寻宝
spaceships, treasure-hunting, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) bomb-defusal, no-refusal, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) fantasy, circus-trapeze, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
拆弹 你说我做 奇幻 杂技 格斗
and fights, and ghosts, and paints, and snakes, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background)
绘画 斗蛇 飞刀 下棋 跳舞 举重
and knives, and chess, and dance, and weights, {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) It's Camp Camp! {QM and QS continue arguing in the background) [QM and QS still arguing]
就在狂野夏令营
Max: David, what were you thinking!?
戴维 你想什么呢
David: I don't know!
我也没想到
I thought reuniting long-lost family members
我以为失散多年的家人再次重聚
was a thoughtful and sweet idea!
肯定是个深思熟虑的决定
Neil: I mean, didn't you do any background checks?
你都没有做什么背景调查吗
Ask her any questions?
问她一些问题
Gwen: Oh! We should totally do a background check on these freaks!
我们应该给他们做一些背景调查
They've probably got loads of illegitimate children!
他们之所以这样 可能是因为他们有非婚生子的缘故
David: Ok, maybe I should've done a little more research beforehand.
也许我确实应该在之前做一些调查
But now, we have a chance to give Quartermaster an even better gift!
但是现在 我们有机会给老船长一个更棒的礼物
An end to this silly family feud!
结束他们的家庭不和
Neil: I dunno, David...
我不确定 戴维
I think there's just some things you keep in the family.
我觉得他们家中有什么秘密
Take it from me.
比如说我
My parents HATE each other, and you don't see these two trying to fix it.
我得父母就讨厌彼此 他俩也不想复合
Nikki: I ain't touchin' that garbage fire.
我也不想趟那滩浑水
David: Well, I happen to believe that love conquers all!
我相信亲情能克服一切
And there's no greater love than the unconditional love of family!
没有比对家人更伟大的爱了
Max: How are they even related again?
怎么就搭上边了
QM [off-screen]: Cousins fucked.
表亲最差劲
David: Oh, dear!
天
Alright, kids! You go find some nice gifts for your quartermaster!
好了 孩子们 你们去找送给老船长的礼物吧
I'm gonna take these two inside!
我带他俩进去
Y'know, away from your... vulnerable ears.
离你们的脆弱的耳朵远一点
Ered: Ugh. What are we even supposed to get that weirdo?
我们给那个怪人什么礼物啊
Space Kid: What about this metorite?
这块陨石怎么样
Neil: Space Kid, that's clearly a rock.
太空孩 那明显是块石头
Nikki: It's perfect!
太完美了
He'll love it!
他肯定会喜欢的
I love it!
我也喜欢
You gotta get him something else.
你去找个别的什么吧
Nerf: Ugh. This is gonna take forever!
这怎么找
Max: Not if we cut some corners...
那咱们抄个近路
Let's just break into the Quartermaster's store!
咱们去老船长的仓库里看一看
We can see what kinda weird shit he already has,
看看他到底有什么东西
so we can figure out what kind of weird shit he wants!
那咱们就知道他喜欢什么东西
Preston: But... No one's ever dared to go into the Quartermaster's store!
从来没人敢进老船长的仓库
Max: Oh, please. How bad could it be?
真是的 进去又能怎么样
Neil: I want you to remember saying that 5 minutes
希望你在我们被吓傻后
from now when we're scarred for life.
还能记得这句话
David: Quartermaster,
老船长
Quartersister,
老船妹
We've brought you both here today
今天我把各位都带到这里来
to try and talk through whatever issues
希望你们不管发生什么
the two of you seem to have with one another.
都能坦诚地和彼此谈谈
Quartermaster?
老船长
Why don't you go first?
要不你先说
Um. Yeah! Okay, good start!
很好的开始
Quartersister?
老船妹
How does that make you feel?
你对此感觉如何
Okay. Well, I'm out of ideas.
很好 我也不知道说什么了
Fortunately, Gwen here ran a series of tests that she assures me
幸运的是 格温有一个
are used by professionals everyday
值得信任的专业测试
to help heal and resolve problems.
可以帮助你们解决问题
Gwen: Yeah! Professionals like Maury and Dr. Phil!
专业得就像是莫里和哲学博士
Now, the first one I have here is that
第一条是
neither of you have to worry about STDs!
你们都不用太担心 性病
Because you both have all of them.
因为你们该得的都得了
There are no new ones for you to get.
已经没有什么可以再得的了
That's disgusting, I secretly love it,
有点恶心 其实我很喜欢
you both should be ashamed of yourselves.
你们应该对自己的行为感到羞愧
QS: They named one after me!
有一种是以我的名字命名的
QM: Pfft. One.
切 才一种
David: Uh. Well. Congratulations!
那真是 恭喜你啊
QS: I don't care what you tell me about him.
不管你说他什么好话
I ain't gonna talk to this bastard man!
我都不会跟这个杂种说话的
QM: Good! Cause I ain't gonna talk to you neither!
很好 因为我也不会跟你说话
QS: Ya just did!
你刚说完
QM: God-durnit. She just got me again.
又被她耍了
Boy! Tell her I ain't gonna be doin' no talking with her none more.
小子 你跟她说我不会不再不跟她说话了
David: Um, he says that he doesn't wish to speak with you any-
他说他不希望再跟你说
QM: Say it how I said it!
重复我的话
David: Uh, he says "He ain't gonna do no more talkin'!"
他说『他不会不再…』
I just can't. It's too mean and grammatically incorrect.
说不出来 这话太狠了 而且语法根本说不通
QS: Don't you insult my kin's grandma!
不许你侮辱他的语法
Why, he's the poet of the family.
怎么了 他是家中的诗人
His words always did make my seat wet!
他的话总能让我的椅子变湿
David: Ok, next test, please.
下一项测试
Gwen: Right, right, right.
好 好 好
[Sigh] Quartersister? You...
老船妹 你
are not the father!
不是爸爸
Because apparently, you're a woman?
因为实际上 你是个女人
Which - full disclosure -
这是众所周知的事情
is something I find more surprising than anything on these tests.
这是我觉得整个测试中最精彩的部分
QM: 'Course she is!
她本来就是
You tellin' me you've seen a beauty finer than her before?
你难道见过比她还漂亮的女人吗
QS: [Snort] QM: Hell. If it weren't for the goddamn tontine,
要不是因为遗产的事
I probably would've gotten down on one knee ages ago.
我多少年前就求婚了
David: What's a tontine? QS: You don't mean that.
-什么遗产 -你肯定不想
QM: With all my heart and soul.
全心全意
Gwen: Oh my God! I can't believe they went there!
天呐 不敢相信他们居然和好了
Oh my God. I can't believe they went there...
我去 不敢相信他们居然和好了
David: And they're still going.
还没亲完呢
Max: Huh. Looks a lot smaller on the outside.
里面比外面小多了
Nerris: Oooh! Like the TAR- Max: Shut up, Nerris.
-就像是 -闭嘴 内瑞斯
Max: Anyone find anything?
有人找到什么东西了吗
Neil: I found some used Barbie dolls.
我找到了一些用过的芭比娃娃
Preston [off-screen]: Used?!
用过的
Neil: You're gonna wanna trust me on this one.
这一点你们还是相信我比较好
Harrison: Oh! I found a jigsaw puzzle!
我找到了一些拼图
That... Only has corner pieces?
只有 角上的块吗
What?
什么情况
NIkki: I think I found something too...
我也找到了一些东西
Max: What is it?
什么东西
Nikki: Hair...
头发
Max: What?
啥
Nikki: Yeah, just... hair.
没错 只有头发
Neil: Is it labeled or anything?
有标记什么的吗
Nikki: Yes.
有
Huh, this looks familiar
这个看起来好熟悉
Max: That's less unexpected than I would've liked.
有这种东西我一点都不意外
SK: Oh, maybe there's something in here! [Backwards:THE MASTER MUST NOT BECOME WHOLE AGAIN]
这里也许有什么东西
Huh, that was weird.
好奇怪
Max: Okay, new plan.
新计划
How about we just regift him his own stuff?
咱们把他的东西当成礼物送给他怎么样
Nikki, grab the bag, I guess.
妮基 拿那些包
Harrison, bring the puzzle. Neil,
哈里森 拿拼图
leave the dolls here.
尼尔 别拿娃娃
Neil: Oh, don't worry.
别担心
They're not going anywhere.
它们哪也去不了
David: Max, Max! I think we have a problem!
麦克斯 麦克斯 咱们可能有麻烦了
Max: What, the fire?
着火了吗
David: No, the- wait, what fire?
不是 等等 什么火
Max: Oh, forget it. This sounds more interesting!
没事 你说的可能更有意思
David: Oh, it's horrible! We've gone too far!
太可怕了 场面有些失控
It's-
就是
Max: That?
这个么
David: Yeah. That.
就是这个
Max: Guys, I know we've done some fucked-up things before,
我知道我们以前干了一些混球的事情
but I think this takes the fucked-up cake.
但是我觉得这个也太混球了
Gwen: Yeah, I was all about this at first,
本来刚开始的时候我是能控制住的
but it has gone WAY too far.
但是发展得确实太过了
Can it just go back to being Wednesday?
咱们能不能重新好好过个星期三
I miss Wednesday.
我有点想星期三了
David: Guys, ya know what?
大家听着
Maybe we're missing something.
我们可能错过了什么事情
Max: I'm intentionally averting my eyes to
我正故意地尽可能
try and miss as much of this as possible, yes.
把目光移开 没错
David: Not that. Well, that too...
不是这个 好吧 这个也是
No, I'm talking about the fact that this is Quartermaster Appreciation Day.
我要说的是今天是老船长感恩日
He does so much for us to keep this camp functioning
他为了运转这个夏令营做了太多了
and well, if this is what makes him happy,
而且 如果这样能让他开心的话
Then goshdarnit I support it.
我绝对支持
Max: Are you seriously telling me that you support that?!
你是想跟我说你支持这个
David: Yes.
没错
QS: Tasty.
真好吃
David: Nope, nevermind. Can't do it. It's just...
也不是 不重要 做不到 这件事
GOSH, it's just wrong.
这件事本来就不对
QM: I got good news.
我有个好消息
David: You've started regretting recent life choices?
你们开始后悔最近做的决定了
QM: We're getting hitched.
我们要结婚了
QS: I'm gonna hitch you!
我要娶你
(same space kid) David: Whoa now, you're getting married?
打住 你们要结婚了
QS: Yep. And it's all thanks to you!
没错 而且都多亏了你
Red knees!
红膝盖小伙
Max: Is this even legal?
这事合法吗
QM: What's all this biz?
这都是什么东西
Neil: Uh, at this point I guess... Wedding gifts?
这些是 新婚礼物
QM: You got me my favorite kind of puzzle.
你们拿了我最喜欢的礼物
I feel so...
我感觉真是
Appreciated.
太感激了
David: That's- great!
真是 太好了
Second idea! How about you two really take a little bit of time to really think about this?
还有一件事 你们稍微花点时间好好考虑一下这件事情怎么样
Separately. Really far apart.
分别考虑 真的分开
QM: What has been set in motion cannot be stopped.
一旦开始 就不能停止
Even if we wanted to.
即使我们想
QS: Which we do not. Preston: Aww!
而且我们还不想
David: I... I... I...
我 我 我
No...
不
QM: I'm gonna feel like a new man.
我感觉重获新生
QS: Me too!
我也是
Neil: Oh, right. The fire.
对了 火
Nikki: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
我把这事忘了
David: Should we- do- something?
我们是不是应该做点什么
Max: I'd like to think the universe already is, David.
宇宙已经帮我们做了 戴维
Gwen: What the hell just happened?!
发生了什么
David: And where's your quartersister?
那老船妹呢
Is she ok?
她没事吧
QM: She is where she's meant to be.
她去了她命中注定的地方
Max: So, is she like... dead?
她这是 死了吗
QM: Maybe. Or maybe she's more alive than ever before.
也许吧 也许比以前更活泼
Two down, one to go.
搞定两个 还剩一个
I'm gonna win that tontine, tell you what.
遗产是我的
Max: What the fuck is with that guy?!
这货到底是什么情况
He's such a fucking weirdo!
简直是个怪胎
Like, were we supposed to learn something from all of that?
我们还能从这件事里学到点什么吗
Neil: Yeah. Don't mess with fucking family!
能 不要跟混球家人鬼混
Unless you want a fucking-family.
除非你想要混球的家人
Max: I kinda hope she's dead.
我更希望她死了
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