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The Absent Father - Abu Eesa
Ketidakhadiran Ayah - Abu Eesa
In the muslim family structure,
Di dalam struktur keluarga muslim,
it is unheard of, or very rare at least,
tidak pernah terdengar, setidaknya sangat jarang,
for there to be single parent families.
bahwa ada orang tua tunggal.
It is very rare for a woman to be living by herself.
Sangat jarang seorang wanita hidup sendiri.
Rare. Happens but it's rare.
Jarang. Terjadi, tapi jarang.
But it's the reality in our normal couple families.
Sekarang ini menjadi realita di dalam keluarga yang lengkap.
Because the husband is like as if he was absent.
Karena si suami seperti tidak hadir.
And so therefore the families have turned
Karenanya keluarga-keluarga itu berubah
into one-parent families.
menjadi keluarga dengan orang tua tunggal.
Because the fathers have not stood up,
Karena si ayah tidak pernah turun tangan,
and not dealt with the responsibility of
tidak mengurus dengan penuh tanggung jawab
tarbiyya for their children.
tarbiyah anak-anak mereka.
And our children and our youth
Anak-anak dan para remaja kita
are going to destruction.
sedang menuju kehancuran.
They are being destroyed in front of our eyes.
Mereka dihancurkan di depan mata kita.
And we will be held responsible for that.
Kita akan dimintai pertanggungjawaban akan hal itu.
And as a pathetic attempt
Sebagai langkah menyedihkan
to try and fix this problem,
untuk mencoba mengatasi masalah ini,
we throw the youth to the masjid,
kita buang anak-anak kita ke masjid,
or to the madrasa as we call it,
atau yang kita sebut sebagai madrasah,
a couple of hours after school everyday,
dua jam sehari setelah sekolah,
in some "magic" attempt to try and rectify
sebagai cara "instan" untuk mencoba memperbaiki
the spiritual condition of our families and children.
kondisi spiritual keluarga dan anak-anak kita.
And this is not the fault of the child of that age.
Ini bukan salah anak seumuran itu.
And it is not the fault of the masjid
Ini bukan salah masjid
to try and resolve it.
yang mencoba memberi solusi.
The Masjid is there for taklim.
Fungsi masjid sebenarnya untuk taklim.
Taklim, and not tarbiyya.
Untuk taklim, bukan untuk tarbiyyah.
And taklim is to teach.
Taklim adalah sarana untuk mengajar.
We go to the madrasa.
Kita pergi ke madrasah.
And again as I said before,
Seperti yang saya katakan tadi,
the masjids never ever taught the children.
Masjid tidak pernah digunakan untuk mengajar anak-nak.
Never.
Tidak pernah.
When you go looking back in Islamic history,
Jika kita menoleh ke belakang, kepada sejarah Islam,
you will see that the masajid
Anda akan menemukan bahwa masjid-masjid
were used only for the salah
hanya digunakan untuk salat
and for the specific circles of
dan untuk halaqah khusus dari
advanced knowledge by the scholars.
para ulama yang mengajar ilmu lanjutan.
But the madaris,
Namun madrasah-madrasah,
those places supposed to teach the children
adalah tempat di mana seharusnya anak-anak diajar
the basics of adab,
dasar-dasar adab,
the basic of Arabic,
pengantar bahasa Arab,
of sunnah, of Quran.
pengantar sunnah, dan Alquran.
These were separate madrasas.
Ini adalah madrasah-madrasah yang terpisah.
And this, is what the masjid has now become.
Saat ini, begini fungsi masjid.
A place where the parents
Tempat di mana para orang tua
will push their children,
memaksa anak-anak mereka ikut,
hoping for tarbiyya.
berharap bisa memperoleh tarbiyah.
And tarbiyya is a very important concept.
Namun tarbiyah adalah konsep yang sangat penting.
Tarbiyya comes from the Arabic word of (رَبَّ),
Tarbiyah berasal dari kata (رَبَّ),
and it means to cultivate and to bring up,
yang berarti mengembangkan, dan menumbuhkan,
it means to culture.
membudidayakan.
It means to take times of something
Ia berarti memelihara sesuatu
with love and time.
dengan cinta dan butuh waktu.
And that the final result is that model,
Hasil akhirnya adalah sebuah model,
is that result which has been
hasil yang sudah selama ini
looked after and nurtured.
dipelihara dan diasuh.
And that's why the word (رَبَّ) in Arabic is used for plants,
Itu sebabnya kata (رَبَّ) dalam bahasa Arab digunakan untuk tanaman,
and for project which are
dan untuk proyek-proyek yang
taken care of from the beginning,
membutuhkan pemeliharaan sejak awal,
until it is finally completed.
hingga tahap akhirnya.
This is tarbiyya.
Ini adalah tarbiyah.
Understand what ot means,
Pahami maknanya,
it requires time,
proses ini butuh waktu,
and requires the involvement,
butuh keterlibatan,
and requires the presents
dan butuh kehadiran
of (اَلْمُرَبِّ) the one who will give that tarbiyya.
dari (اَلْمُرَبِّ) (al-Murabbi), orang yang akan memberi tarbiyah.
And this is not done in the masjids.
Dan ini tidak bisa dilakukan di masjid-masjid.
This is not done by the muallim,
Tidak bisa dilakukan oleh seorang muallim,
because all the muallim, the teacher can do
karena muallim, si guru tersebut hanya bisa
is to give taklim, just pass on knowledge.
memberi taklim, transfer ilmu pengetahuan.
But passing the knowledge is like
Transfer ilmu pengetahuan itu layaknya
putting data into a child's head.
memasukkan data ke dalam memori seorang anak.
If the child does not understand the system,
Jika si anak tidak paham sistemnya,
the adab of the system,
serta adab dari sistemnya,
and is not know how to behave,
dan tidak paham bagaimana harus bersikap,
that knowledge, what difference
apakah ilmu itu akan bisa membawa perubahan
will it make to that child?
kepada si anak?
How is it possible that parents are complaining
Bagaimana mungkin orang tua mengeluhkan
about the lack of youth activities,
kurangnya aktivitas remaja,
and the lack of programs
minimnya program
for their 14, 15, 16 year old children.
bagi anak merka yang berusia 14, 15, 16 tahun.
When for the first 10 years,
Jika pada 10 tahun pertama,
they have neglected their childhood completely.
mereka telah mengabaikan masa kecilnya sama sekali.
What miracle are they expecting,
Keajaiban apa yang mereka harapkan,
to a child who has no interest in Islam,
terhadap anak yang tidak tertarik sama sekali kepada Islam,
and it's sciences, and it's system, and it's adab?
sains Islam, sistem, dan adabnya?
That suddenly at 11, 12, and on
Lalu tetiba saja pada usia 11, 12, dan seterusnya,
within to the teenage years,
hingga remaja belasan tahun,
it is suddenly going to be
diharapkan akan muncul
some incredible transformation.
sebuah perubahan yang sangat besar.
What is this ummah thinking of?
Apa yang dipikirkan oleh umat ini?
And this is a wake up call for all parents.
Ini adalah tanda bagi para orang tua untuk segera bertindak.
That their absence from their children,
Bahwa ketidakhadiran mereka di antara anak-anak,
and their making their dunya first in front of them,
dan tindak mereka mendahulukan dunia,
choosing their work over their families,
mengutamakan pekerjaan dibanding keluarga,
choosing their dunya over their family,
memilih dunia dari pada keluarganya,
choosing money, and position, and employment,
mengutamakan uang, jabatan, dan pekerjaan,
over their family,
atas keluarganya,
choosing their own desires,
memilih menuruti keinginan pribadi,
wanting to do something for their own selves
ingin melakukan sesuatu untuk diri sendiri
as oppose to spending time with their family.
dibanding untuk keluarganya.
This prioritization will lead to
Prioritas seperti ini akan membawa kepada
the destruction of the youth of our community.
kehancuran para remaja di dalam masyarakat kita.
Because no matter what the masaajid do,
Karena tidak peduli apapun yang diusahakan masjid-masjid,
no matter how many volunteers,
tidak peduli betapa banyaknya relawan,
give up their time,
yang mengorbankan waktu mereka,
-and that's what they do, they volunteers-
-itu yang mereka lakukan, menjadi sukarelawan-
to try and provide services from the masjid.
mencoba memberi pelayanan dari masjid.
Where the sport activities or other activities
Di mana ada aktivitas olahraga, atau lainnya
in a desperate attempt to try and save your children.
sebagai langkah akhir untuk mencoba menyelamatkan anak-anak kita.
They can only do so much, their hands are tied.
Mereka hanya bisa melakukan semampunya, tangan mereka terbelenggu.
Because it requires
Karena itu membutuhkan
the parental involvement from the beginning.
keterlibatan orang tua sejak awal.
It requires their love and their attention.
Itu butuh cinta dan perhatian mereka.
And the reason it's not done because it's not easy.
Mengapa tidak diberikan? Karena memang tidak mudah.
Children don't have the same IQ as you.
Anak-anak tidak punya IQ yang sama dengan kita.
And they're not as interesting to be around with, as you.
Membersamai mereka tidak selalu menyenangkan, tidak seperti orang dewasa.
And they are irritating.
Mereka kadang menjengkelkan.
That's because they're children.
Itu karena mereka masih kanak-kanak.
They are annoying because they're children.
Mereka menjengkelkan karena mereka anak-anak.
But the reward when you do it correctly,
Namun balasannya jika Anda melakukannya dengan benar,
it's something that you would benefit from,
akan memberi manfaat bagi diri Anda sendiri,
and this is a very important point.
dan ini adalah poin yang sangat penting.
Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) commands it,
Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) menyuruh seperti itu,
and makes it an obligation.
dan menjadikannya kewajiban.
(قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا) (QS. At-Tahrim: 6)
(قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا) (QS. At-Tahrim: 6)
It's an obligation.
Ini sebuah kewajiban.
You will be held responsible if you don't do it.
Kita akan dimintai pertanggungjawaban jika tidak melakukannya.
So you're being commanded to do it
Jadi kita diperintahkan untuk melakukannya
whether you like it or not.
suka atau tidak suka.
But the bonus of this point,
Namun bonus dari hal ini,
is that it's actually us
bahwa sebenarnya kita sendiri
that need to do this as well for our own benefit.
yang butuh melakukan ini demi kebaikan kita sendiri.
Despite the fact the we are
Selain fakta bahwa kita
being force to do it by Allah,
dipaksa Allah untuk melakukan hal ini,
we, get the benefit.
kita akan memperoleh manfaat.
Because we are all sinners by our nature.
Karena kita pada dasarnya adalah pendosa.
(كل ابن ادم خطاء)
(كل ابن ادم خطاء)
"All of the sons of Adam people who makes mistakes."
"Semua anak Adam adalah manusia yang tidak luput dari kesalahan."
They are sinners.
Mereka pendosa.
(وخير الخطَّائين التوّابون)
(وخير الخطَّائين التوّابون)
"But the best of those who makes mistakes,
"Namun yang terbaik dari mereka yang berbuat kesalahan,
are those who turned back to Allah."
adalah yang kembali kepada Allah."
And turning back to Allah means realizing,
Kembali kepada Allah artinya menyadari,
that we will have to make that change ourselves.
bahwa kita harus mengubah diri sendiri.
That we have to put that effort in, with our children.
Bahwa kita melakukan upaya itu pada anak-anak kita.
We have to give them our time.
Kita harus menyediakan waktu untuk mereka.
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