I am Alive Moving Works English Japanese

I am AliveYouTube↗ IA↗(long shot)
Nonprofits & Activism 4.3K views 141 likes 1 dislikes 13 Nov 2018

Moving Works 11.9K subscribers United States YouTube↗

I never felt loved by my father or my mother.

お父さんからもお母さんからも愛されているという実感はありませんでした

I had very low self-esteem,

私はとにかく、セルフイメージが低くて

and I always felt that I wasn't good enough.

私はいつもダメだと

I was never confident in anything.

なにをしても自信がない

I felt this way every day.

そんな毎日を送っていました

I was never recognized…

何をしても認めてもらえなくて

and I didn't know what I should do to be recognized,

どうしたら認めてもらえるんだろう

to be loved, to be accepted.

愛してもらえるんだろう、受け入れてもらえるんだろう

That's why I wanted to be somebody else.

だから他の人になりたかった

There was a singer I liked very much,

私は大好きなスターがいたんですけど

and I wanted to be her.

そのスターになりたかった

I thought that if I became like her and lived like her, I could become happy.

そのような生きかたをしたら、私は幸せになれる

So I started to lose weight by dieting.

痩せてなきゃいきない、だからダイエットを始めました

I really felt miserable.

自分が惨めで

I hated my body, which was extremely thin and ugly.

がりがりに痩せてしまった自分を見るのも嫌だし

I experienced a lot of disorders and addictions.

私は数々の依存症をしてきました

An eating disorder, alcoholism,

摂食障害、アルコール依存症、

domestic violence, and sexual addiction.

そしてDVも始まって、そして男性への依存もしました

However, no matter what I depended on,

でも、どんなに人に依存しても

like people, substances, or food,

モノに依存しても、食べ物に依存したって

nothing ever changed; nothing in my heart changed.

変わらない、私の心は変わらなかった

I was in a deep darkness.

私は追い詰められていました

I had no confidence in myself,

本当に自分に自信がなかったし

and I thought that I'm not worth anything.

価値がなかったと思ったし

I just wanted to die.

だから私は死にたいと思いました

One day, I cut my wrist

あるときに手を切って

and saw the blood coming out from my body,

自分の血を見て、その時に自分が生きているんだと

and at that moment, I recognized I was alive.

いう事がわかって、そのときは

I remember crying so much.

たくさん泣いたのを覚えています

When I heard about Jesus,

イエス様の話を聞いた時は正直

I really didn't understand anything.

意味がわからなかった

That was my first impression.

それが一番の印象で

"Why do they say that I have sin?"

どうして私には罪があるのかとか

"I haven't done any crime."

私は何も悪いことをしていない

"There are lots of gods in Japan."

他にも日本にはいろんな神様がいて

"We have Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples."

神社があったり、仏教があったり

"Why Jesus Christ?"

どうしてイエス・キリストを？

Even though I thought this at first,

最初はすごく思ったけど

I started to go to church

でも、教会に行って

and sang a lot of Gospel songs there,

たくさんのゴスペルを歌ったりとか

and I spent time with the church members.

教会で皆と交わったりしているうちに

Gradually, through their love and kindness,

皆の愛から、皆の優しさから

I started to understand the gentleness of Jesus.

イエス・キリストの優しさがわかりました

And then I believed in Jesus...and I really changed.

それから私はすごくイエス様を主にして変わりました

Before, I didn't like myself and never felt loved.

私は以前、自分のことを好きでもなかったし、愛されていないと思っていたけど

Now, I know I am loved.

今は愛されていると思っています

I was so changed that I don't need to be assured by people now. I don't need to feel loved by people.

もう作らなくても人から愛されていると思わなくても

Because I know that God loves me,

神さまが愛してくれてるから

I can smile naturally, without any effort.

私はこの笑顔を自然に出すことができるようになりました

Now, I like myself. I love myself,

今、私は本当に自分のことが好きです

because Jesus chose me

大好きですそれはイエス様が私を選んでくれて

and has given me life in this world.

今、この世に生かしてくれて

I now have this desire to live like Jesus.

イエス様のような生き方がしたい

I learned that if I draw near to Jesus, I’ll always be smiling. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. The words of Jesus - From the Bible

イエス様に近づいたら、私はずっと笑顔でいられる事がわかったからです

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