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Comedy  2.2M views 95.2K likes   26 Aug 2019
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In the name of Allah, the merciful,
el nombre de alá el misericordioso los
the attacks we performed are a direct response
ataques que hemos tomado es una
against the North American infidels
respuesta directa contra los infieles
for invading our territories,
norteamericanos por haber invadido
for killing our compatriots, for...
nuestros territorios por haber matado a
Cut!
nuestros compatriotas por habérsele de
Fuck, Aziz! Lift your goddamn arms!
[ __ ] asís levanta los pinches brazos
The scene isn't good. Let's do it again.
se metió bund en toma vamos a repetir
Lift your arms. Lift your arms.
arriba arriba los ataques que hemos
The attacks we performed are a direct response
tomado son una respuesta directa contra
against the North American infidels
los infieles norteamericanos por haber
for invading our territories,
invadido nuestros territorios por haber
for killing our compatriots, for insulting Islam...
matado a nuestros compatriotas y por
Cut!
haber insultado al internet
The mike is moving a little. It's because of the beard. There.
las balears estamos viendo un poco pega con las barbas
The attacks we carried out are...
los ataques que hemos tomados son una respuesta o
What? I got stuck, I'm sorry. Can we start from the top? -Water? -I had some.
no
-From the top. -Right.
es cierto
I'm sorry. Can we change "the attacks we performed"
perdón podemos cambiar los de los ataques que hemos tomado por los ataques
for "the attacks we carried out"?
que hemos llevado a cabo que es más
Yes, it's clearer. I like it.
claros más claros así le gusta las
-Can I borrow a pen? -A pen!
empresas plumitas por ejemplo mitad
Thank you.
gracias
"Carried" is with an I? I think so. Yes.
lleva dos grandes creo que si se piense
You're doing well. Think of an angry minister.
más bien piensa en un castor enojado
-Okay. -Angry minister.
castor enojan
Shit!
[ __ ]
There.
porque claro i
How much longer? I'm tired.
cuando falda en carga esto estabas tan
You were so shiny an American plane would find us.
brillantes que pasaba avión norteamericano y nos descubría
Can I have more water, please?
me pase no te gustas por favor
Bottled water? Don't you know about the crisis?
normalmente estas botellitas no están viendo la crisis
Are you okay?
estás bien todo bien no los que están
No, the oceans aren't well. -Why this? -This is terrorism. Exactly.
mal son los océanos que pero con esto es así es terrorismo
Ready? The actions we carried out...
las acciones que hemos llevado a cabo
-What? -The dogs. They'll be quiet. Kill the dogs!
si el perro artes se callan alguien mate
Kill the dogs so we can go on. What's up with the dogs? Are they inside?
a los perros maten a los perros y continuamos
They'll kill them. Let's cut and pray now.
pero no nos vamos a cortes vamos a rezar
We'll continue later.
mientras seguimos seguimos después me
Is the food here? I'm almost passing out.
dieron de comer me estoy desmayando de
Catering? Is the catering here?
hambre en catering ahorita ya catering
I think it's burgers.
creo que va a haber hamburguesas
-In the name... -Osama.
en dónde estabas pues estamos pensando
I was thinking that maybe... A video with a turban is a little cliché.
es que a lo mejor vídeo con turbantes es
Why is it cliché? C'mon, it's a classic!
un poco cliché como cliché no me ames es
Maybe we can surprise them, do something new.
un clásico a lo mejor podemos sorprenderlos a hacer algo nuevo si
If we can blow up planes, we can blow their minds.
podemos volar los aviones podemos volar
Okay, but let's do one with a turban.
les las cabezas bueno vamos a hacer nos
Okay, but think about creative terrorism.
hacemos uno con turbante para pero piensa terrorismo es creativo
-Think about it. -Okay.
pensamos aunque
She sells seashells, she sells seashells...
camarón caramelo camarón caramelo camarón caramelo camarón carmen una
Fuck me, those Catholic fireworks!
madre con los cohetes de los católicos
Every weekend there's a goddamn saint!
tan madres todos los fines de semana hay un [ __ ] santo
And all the gunpowder they waste!
además toda la pólvora que desperdicia no pueden ser [ __ ]
They'll be quiet in a minute.
hasta ahora se callan haber mátenme a
Kill the Catholics, too!
los católicos también
Kill them, thank you.
mátenlos gracias
Desert, desert...
de cierto de cierto
Desert, desert...
de cierto de cierto
Desert...
desear todo
Desert. Okay, I'm ready.
es cierto
We need to stop. The plane has left.
vamos a tener que parar el avión ya se
We need to find another undercover in the airline.
fue vamos a tener que buscar nuevo infiltrado en la aerolínea
For now, rest a while, Osama.
mientras tanto tómense tómate un
Let's record the bomb tutorial.
descanso usama vamos a meter el tutorial
-Bom tutorial set! -C'mon...
de bombas set de tutorial de bombas normalmente paras [Música]
When you see this, a plane will have destroyed the White House!
para cuando vean este video yo ya habré destruido la casa blanca con un jet
Cut!
comercial norte vamos a aguantar está
Wait, there's a plane.
pasando avión [Música]
That's funny there's a plane when I said that.
existo lo que esté pasando no había un justo cuando se hablando de eso no sé
It's taking too long, right?
qatar 2 mucho no
Is it flying over here?
estará sobrevolando aquí
-Run! -To the shelters! Everyone!
con refugios a los refugios
To the shelters! It's not a drill! I repeat!
a los refugios no es un ensayo repito
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