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Entertainment  6.7M views 211.2K likes 8.5K dislikes   05 Jan 2017
Porta dos Fundos 19.1M subscribers Brazil YouTube↗


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-It's a beautiful day. -Yes it is...
- Hoy el día está lindo. - Sí, realmente.
What's this?
Pero, ¿qué es esto?
The end of the line is back there, just follow the line.
El final de la fila está allí atrás, ¿ok?
-What's this line? -For Magazine Luiza.
Vayan por aquí. - ¿Y esta fila? - De Magazine Luiza.
What the fuck is this?
¡Qué mierda es esto!
My cousin said he bought a fridge for $300 and there's only left.
Un primo me avisó que compró una heladera, solo pagó 300 reales y queda solo una.
Ask him to hold that for me, say I'll be there in February.
Dile que me la reserve, Vanesa. Avísale que llego a inicios de febrero, por favor.
There's no Magazine Luiza in Rio.
Entonces, oye… No hay Magazine Luiza en Río de Janeiro.
But we're going to the store in Limeira,
Bueno, pero nosotros vamos a la tienda que está en Limeira.
we go through the countryside,
Vamos por adentro, ¿sabes?
The lines on the coast are not moving,
Por la costa está todo parado. Por Guarujá no se puede andar.
In Guaruja it's completely still. This is trespassing of a private property!
¡Esto es una invasión de propiedad!
Let me explain it to you,
A ver, te voy a explicar algo, para que te ubiques…
I woke up today with 3 guys in my bed playing Djavan,
Hoy me desperté y había cuatro tipos sobre mi cama
I only got in the line because I had a Bongo drum,
que estaban tocando Djavan. Y vi que uno tenía un bongó.
so try to be cool.
Entonces, tranquilízate un poco, por favor.
My neighbor is in Aparecida, he said the line's moving there.
Un vecino mío, por Aparecida, ¡me dijo que la fila avanza!
Thank God!
- ¡Bien! - ¡Gracias a Dios! ¡Viva!
I want everybody out of my house!
¡Se van todos de mi casa!
Panettone! 1 for $5, 3 for $10!
Pan dulce, pan dulce… Uno por cinco, tres por diez…
Isn't that the panettone you got for Christmas?
Amor, ¿esos no son los pan dulces que sobraron de Navidad?
The bathroom is clean! It's not flushing well
Bien, el baño está limpio.
but I used this iron bar to push it down...
El desagüe no tiene mucha fuerza. Pero, usé esta barra de hierro para empujar un poco.
Holy shit! My statue!
Está algo sucia.
There's a guy in Mangaratiba trying to cut in line.
¡La puta madre! ¡Mi estatua! ¡No lo puedo creer! ¡Hay un tipo en Mangaratiba que se quiere colar!
-Get out! -Asshole!
- Mentira… - ¡Sal de ahí!
-Go to the end of the line! -Get out of there!
¡Sal de ahí, maldito!
What a jerk! Buddy, how much did you pay in this minibar?
Amigo, una cosita: ¿cuánto pagaste este frigobar?
My wife bought it for $150
No, mi esposa lo compró por 150.
but we got a divorce on the highway,
Pero, nos separamos en la autopista Dutra.
so I paid $300 on the settlement.
Entonces, pagué 300 en la división de bienes.
Alright, thanks, take care.
Está bien, gracias. Buena suerte.
Guys, I'm kindly asking you,
Amigos, por favor, les voy a pedir educadamente:
can you make this line a bit to the side?
¿No podrían hacer la fila un poco más para allá?
It'll be better on the building's hall,
Si se ponen en el pasillo del edificio será mejor,
won't get in our way.
así no molestan aquí.
The hallway is for product pickup.
El pasillo es para retirar los productos.
Exactly.
Exacto.
Where's the line for pregnant women?
Muchacho, ¿sabes cuál es la fila para embarazadas?
-I don't know. -Pregnant?
- No lo sé. - ¿Embarazadas?
You'll go this way, then you'll see an elevator,
Es esa de ahí. Vas por aquí y vas a ver un ascensor.
go down and you'll be at the 784 bus stop,
Bajas y sales a la parada del 784.
go through all of Brasil Avenue,
Sigues por la Av. Brasil hasta el final
you'll see a sign that says: "Massambaba",
y verá un cartel que dice ‘Massambaba’.
-It's there. -Thank you.
Cuando veas un aglomerado, es allí.
Be careful not to trip and fall. She's pregnant. See?
- Gracias. - Cuidado, no te tropieces.
Look, that's enough!
Está embarazada. ¿Lo ves?
If you don't get out of my house I'll call the police,
Bueno, ¡basta! O se van todos de mi casa o llamo a la policía.
-I can't believe it... -It's moving! Come!
- No es posible que… - Está avanzando, vamos.
Is Magazine Luiza here?
Está avanzando. ¿Aquí es Magazine Luiza?
Wait.
A ver, no es posible que toda esta fila
I can't believe this line is coming back here.
esté viniendo para aquí.
I knew I should've made a right turn in Ribeirao!
Ay, ¡yo sabía que debía girar a la derecha en Ribeirão!
Fuck this, let's cut in line. Get out!
A la mierda, me voy a colar. Sal, sal…
Used batteries! Used batteries, here with me.
Pilas usadas… Pilas usadas, aquí están.
Wet towel! To put on the bed.
Toalla mojada para dejarla sobre la cama.
Razor blades, here with me, only $5.
Máquina de afeitar, por solo cinco reales.
Reasonably fresh cheese! Less than 3 oz.!
Queso em lonjas, razonablemente frasco. Menos de 100 gramos.
A wedding album that's not yours!
Álbum de casamiento que no es el propio.
Here with me, for you to buy.
Lo tengo en la mano para que lo compren.
Internet modem for when yours breaks.
Modem de tv por cable, para cuando se le rompa el suyo.
Buy it with me.
Me lo pueden comprar a mí.
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