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Entertainment  7.2M views 238.7K likes 6.3K dislikes   24 Apr 2017
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Sir, Just wait a little second
Entonces usted aguarde sólo un mometico
we will call you in a little bit, okay?!
que ya ya lo llamamos, okay?
Sir José da Conceição Tavares Almeida
Señor José da Conceição Tavares Almeida
Yep
Opa
- Good afternoon - Good afternoon
- Buenas tardes - Buenas tardes
Sir, did you bring the documentation?
Usted trajo la documentación?
It's here, everything is set for you, sir
Está aquí, todo listo para usted
I'm here to get a certified copy, okay?!
Vine a sacar la segunda via, ok?!
So... Sir José, there's an error here
Si... Don josé... Hay un...
What?
Creo que hay un error aquí...
Here on this copy... You name is...
Qué pasó? Si porque aquí en el registro, usted colocó
''José da Conceição Tavares Almeida''
''José da Conceição Tavares Almeida''
but on your birth certificate is ''José Tavares de Almeida''
pero en su certificado está ''José Tavares de Almeida''
So... But... Yeah.. I want to change it
Entonces, pero cierto... Eso es lo que voy a cambiar allí
Okay, but, do you want to change your name on your birth certificate?
Ok, pero usted quiere arreglar el certificado?
No, I want to add Conceição's name on my ID
No, voy a colocar ''da Conceição'' en la identidad
okay... No... Wait... I don't get it
Ok no, ya va, no entiendo...
Is it 'da Conceição' your parent's last name?
El apellido de su padre y de su madre
- Is this right? - No, it's not a last name
- No... - Es da Conceição? Es algun...
it's my wife's name
Eso no es el apellido, es el nombre de mi esposa
''Conceição''
Conceição
- Your wif... - She is going to explain
- Su esp... - Ella le va a explicar a usted mejor
a little bit better to you Sir... Conceição, come here baby
Conceição, ven acá amor
Is there a problem?
Hay algun problema?
This is Conceição, my wife
Conceição, mi esposa
So... No... Yep!
Si... No, es porque...
It's because you cant add her name on your name, Okay?
Así, usted no puede colocar el nombre de ella, en su nombre
- Hmm - Why not?
- Entendió? - Hmmm Por qué no?
Because it isn't legal
Porque no es correcto
I think it's cool, don't you think so, José? Yep?
Yo creo que si, no te parece correcto José? Ah?
I think it's cool
- Si me parece - Correctisimo
Really cool No, no, no it's not like that
No, no, no es eso...
It's not legal because it's not on the law
No es correcto porque no está en la ley
- Ohh.. - No... It can’t be
- Entiende? - Ahh...
Oh no... It's something from...
No lo es... No se puede Ah no, es cosa del, de...
From Judge, things change
- De juicio, cosa que se cambia - Ah callate Pepe!
Shut up Zé!
Mire...
Sir... - Cláudio! - Cláudio
- Cláudio - Cláudio
why do waman add the man's last name
Por qué la mujer puede tener nombre de hombre
and man can't add the waman's name, do you understand?
y el hombre no puede tener nombre de mujer, estás entendiendo?
Are you guys married?
Ven acá, ustedes son casados?
Of course not!
Clao que no
I'm not gonna marry someone who is not mine
me voy a casar con una cosa que no se si es mia
Let me explain to you Sir...
Entonces dejeme explicarle, la...
- Ceiça likes things... - I am what?
- Ceiça le gustan las cosas... - Que soy qué?
- Ciça? - How can I say it...
- Ciça? - Cómo podría decir?!
She likes things to be done very neatly...
De las cosas muy correctas, muy a su manera
The way that she likes it What’s mine it's mine, it's mine, it's mine!
Si, lo que es mío, es mío, es mío!
Okay... That's it
Okay, entonces es eso
When you guys get married your guys can change your last name
Cuando ustedes se casen, ahi podrán cambiar el apellido
- Oh... When we marry... - Yeah
- Ah, cuando nos casemos ya se puede... - Eso
- So here you go Ciça - Ohhh...
Entonces está ahí Ciça, el muchacho está diciendo...
The guy is telling you... Oh... When we marry... He's ''da Silva''
Ahh... Cuando nos casemos ahí ''da Silva''
it's going to be ''José da Silva'', right Zé?
va a quedar ''José da Silva''no es así Pepe?
- Is this right? - ''José'' Right?
- Es eso muchacho? - ''José'', cierto?
- So what? - ''José da Silva''?
- Ah, qué? - José da Silva?
- Yeah, is it right? - No it's not! Fucking asshole!
- Si... Es eso? - No es un coño de eso, imbécil!
Babe, what’s going on?
Hey mi amor, qué es eso?!
José da Silva? With a lot of ''da Silva'' in that community
José da Silva? Con una banda de ''da Silva'' en aquella comunidad
are you going to be ''José the ladies' man''?
- Va a ser el José de todas? - No mi amor...
- No babe -José the ladies' man’’?
- José de todas! - No lo vayas a hacer...
- How is going to be? - It's going to be the way you want babe
- Va a ser qué? - Va a ser eso amor
How is going to be?
VA A SER QUÉ?
José da Conceição babe, like we agreed in the first place
José da Conceição mi amor, como lo decidimos desde el início
Guys, guys... Mister José, Ms Conceição
Señores, señores... Don Jose, doña Conceição
I really want to help you, but I can't, I can't do this, It's not permitted
realmente me gustaría ayudarlos, pero yo no, ya no está a mi alcance
- He's trying... - It's the law, understand?
- No es permitido - El muchacho lo intenta
- There's nothing I can do guys - What law?
Esa es la ley, entendió? No está en la ley y no puedo hacer nada señores... Ley de dónde?
Brazilian law...
De Brasil...
- Cláudio - What?
- Cláudio - An?
here is not Brazil, we are in another country
Aquí no es Brasil, aquí es otro país
We are in Duque de Caxias!
Aquí es Duque de Caxias!
Things are different here right?
Aqui la cosa está resuelta diferente, no es así?
We are in Duque de Caxias...
Aqui es Duque de Caxias...
Is it different?
- No es diferente? - Diferente, aqui es diferentón...
Yes, it’s different! Super different... - In the community is different... - A lot of people...
- Pero las cosas de la.. De la comunidad - Dios mio
- My father, Mr Divino... - Oh! damn it...
- Mi Padre, Divino... - Ihh caramba
A long time ago, he came here
Hace mucho tiempo atrás
to get my mom's marriage license
vine aquí a sacar el registro de mi madre
he had to shoot the guy's car three times
tuve que darle tres tiros al carro del muchacho
to make him change my mom's name to ''Maria do Divino''
para que mi madre tuviera el nombre de Maria do Divino
My Sister Rosa...
Mi hermana, Rosa
she had to cut the jaw of the ladies in DMV with a scissor
le dió un tijerazo en la garganta a la mujer del Detran
- She started talking about ''the law'' - That's true...
- Porque ella vino con ese cuento de ''ley'' - Así fué
For my brother in law to add ''da Rosa''
Para que mi cuñado salga ''de Rosa''
to his last name and now is ''Jair da Rosa''
ahora está allá, ''Jair de Rosa''
His sister is a little bit more...
La hermana de ella ya es un poquito más...
- how do you say it? - She’s what?
- como se dice... - Ya es más qué?
She’s more determined
Ya es más... Determinada
The whole family is determined
Família toda determinada
- That’s right! - If they want to do it, they will do it
- Sí, eso es así - Deciden hacer una cosa ellos agarran y lo hacen
Yes, that’s right, what do you want me to do it?
Eso es así, ahí usted quiere qué?
- Grab a razor, and cut your face? - No, no, no...
Que agarre una navaja?
No, I’m going... I’m going to... Of course I can open an exception
- Y te recorte la cara? - No, no, no! No qué es eso... Yo voy a... - Claro que puedo abrir una excepción - Ah que bueno
Oh, that’s good! We need to be able to handle these situations…
Porque, no es así?! Tenemos que trabajar con juego de cintura no?!
Brazilians do what needs to be done
Brasilero tiene que improvisar
- Yah... - all the time
- Todo el tiempo - Si...
- Make things right - Let’s Add ''da Conceição''
- Hacer las cosas correctas - Vamos a colocar aqui el ''da Conceição''
- Uhum - Right?
- Uhum - No?!
''Conceição'' doesn’t sound...
''Conceição'' ni parece...
It’s like a second name
queda hasta como un nombre compuesto
- ''José da Conceição'' - Oh, that’s pretty
- ''José da Conceição'' - Ah que bonito
- Let me add, it’s going to look cool - We are all happy
- Sólo colocarlo, va a quedar bacano - Todo el mundo feliz...
- All done, very good - That’s good
- Tudo listo aquí, muy bien - Que bueno
Okay, I need a picture
Okay?! Entonces voy a necesitar hacerles una foto
Okay, let’s take a picture then
Okay vamos a tirar la foto entonces
Everything okay, let’s take the picture?
Todo listo, vamos allá don José
Ma’am are you going to be in the picture?
Usted va a salir en la foto también?
Darling, I can do that on facebook a first world company
Mi querido, Facebook que es empresa de primer mundo puede
why can’t I do the same here?
por qué aquí en ésta payasada no se puede?
I’m gonna do it!
Lo voy a hacer!
I’m on the picture!
Aquí, estoy en la foto mira
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