100 COOKIES FOR MY 100 SUBSCRIBERS Joana Ceddia English Slovenian

100 COOKIES FOR MY 100 SUBSCRIBERSYouTube↗ IA↗(long shot)
Entertainment 1.3M views 59.3K likes 353 dislikes 21 Aug 2018 Show Contributors 1

Joana Ceddia 3.3M subscribers N/A YouTube↗

Contributed subtitles

Spanish Juan Damasco

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ow

I don't know what y'all *screams* (it's a vine)

Ne vem, kaj vse kričite * (trta je)

I don't even know where to begin

Sploh ne vem, kje bi začel

because, like two days ago, I was at like 60 or 70 subscribers

kajti kot pred dvema dnevoma sem bil približno 60 ali 70 naročnikov

and then now I'm at over 100

in zdaj sem pri več kot 100

And I know 100 isn't a lot

In vem, da 100 ni veliko

But it's still a decently large number

A še vedno je spodobno velika številka

at least for my standards

vsaj za moje standarde

so, today, to celebrate, I thought we'd make a hundred cookies

zato sem danes za praznovanje mislil, da bomo naredili sto piškotov

Is this a good idea?

Je to dobra ideja?

no, because I feel like I've been getting fatter, and this is only going to make me even more fat

ne, ker se počutim, kot da se debelim, in zaradi tega bom samo še bolj debela

we're just gonna use the recipe on the back of this pack of chocolate chips

pravkar bomo uporabili recept na zadnji strani tega čokoladnega čipsa

and um lets just embrace the diabetes, you know

in um dopušča samo sladkorno bolezen, veste

let's just give a bear hug to the cancer

dajmo raku medvedka le raku

So, my last cooking video didn't really go that well

Torej, moj zadnji video posnetek v resnici ni šel tako dobro

If you can recall, it was that pizza video

Če se spomnite, je bil to posnetek pice

and um, the pizza, it was not eatable

in hm, pice, ni bilo jesti

it made a huge mess, and my mom was mad at me after it

naredil je velik nered in mama se je po njem razjezila

so my mom sat down with me, we went through the whore recipe

tako da je moja mama sedela z mano, šli smo skozi recept za kurbo

I have like most of the ingredients set out

Všeč mi je večina sestavin, ki so bile določene

I'm going to make this taste good

Naredil bom ta okus dober

That being said, there's still a very high possibility that this just goes terribly

Glede na to je še vedno zelo velika možnost, da to grozno gre

*screams into void*

* kriči v praznino *

I'm sorry, did you say something?

Oprostite, ste kaj povedali?

Step 1: pre-heat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit

1. korak: predhodno segrejte pečico na 375 stopinj Fahrenheita

I already forgot how to do this

Sem že pozabil, kako to storiti

Ok

3

3

7

7

no

How did I already mess up

Kako sem se že zmešala

Do we hear that?

Ali to slišimo?

Step number 2: beat one cup of softened butter with one cup of packed brown sugar

Korak številka 2: premažite eno skodelico zmehčanega masla z eno skodelico pakiranega rjavega sladkorja

ok

we're going to use margarine instead of butter because I don't want my arteries to just be clogged

uporabili bomo margarino namesto masla, ker ne želim, da se moje arterije le zamašijo

this is a really bad idea, I don't like where this is going already

to je res slaba ideja, ne maram, kam se to že dogaja

yesterday, I stayed up until like 11:30 watching the office

včeraj sem ostal do 11:30 in gledal pisarno

and I'm on season 9 episode 15

in sem v epizodi 9. sezone

and I'm starting to get nervous because that means I'm almost done with the series

in začnem se nervirati, ker to pomeni, da sem s serijo že skoraj končan

I discovered The Office around March of this year

Urad sem odkril okoli marca letos

I'm just binge-watching the hell out of that TV show

Samo gledam vraga iz te TV oddaje

I actually don't know what my life is going to be after it's finished

Pravzaprav ne vem, kakšno bo moje življenje, ko se bo končalo

*dramatic music*

* dramatična glasba *

*distorted voice* We're getting fat today, buddy

* izkrivljen glas * Debelujemo se danes, prijatelj

* prdenje hrupa *

everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my friend, heart disease

vsi, rad bi vas predstavil mojemu prijatelju, srčna bolezen

if you ask me, I'm not all that big on sweets

če mene vprašate, nisem ravno tako velik pri sladicah

never was, probably never will be

nikoli ni bil, verjetno nikoli ne bo

but, every once in a while, I'll just find a cookie, a slice of cake, a pie

ampak vsakič bom le našla piškotek, rezino torte, pito

apple pie, peach pie, grapefruit pie

jabolčna pita, breskova pita, pita iz grenivke

and I'll just be like (distorted voice) "I need to eat that, right now"

in pravkar bom (popačen glas) "To moram jesti, zdaj"

and today is kind of one of those days

in danes je nekakšen izmed teh dni

I mean, I'm not going to eat all of the cookies

Mislim, da ne bom pojedel vseh piškotkov

Originally, I was going to send one of the cookies to each of my subscribers

Prvotno sem nameraval poslati enega od piškotkov vsem svojim naročnikom

but then I was like oh wait, I don't even know where most of you live

toda takrat sem bil kot oh, počakaj, sploh ne vem, kje večina živiš

and I'm not just going to pop onto youtube and be like "hey guys leave your addresses in the comments below"

in ne grem samo na youtube in bom kot "hej fantje pišite svoje naslove v komentarjih spodaj"

because that would be kind of um, you know, kind of problematic

ker bi to bilo nekako hm, saj veste, nekako problematično

step number 3: one cup of brown sugar

korak 3: ena skodelica rjavega sladkorja

now, I didn't really think this through

zdaj, tega v resnici nisem razmišljal

because I only have one measuring cup that really measures one cup and I already used that on butter, so

ker imam samo eno merilno skodelico, ki res meri eno skodelico in sem jo že uporabila na maslu, torej

* klavirska glasba *

ok, I'm gonna put my brain together here for a moment

ok, za trenutek bom tu sestavil možgane

since I can't use this one cup thing, I'm going to use two of these half cup things

ker ne morem uporabiti te ene skodelice, bom uporabil dve od teh pol skodelic

did your parents ever tell you not to eat sugar? like, raw?

so vam starši kdaj rekli, da ne jeste sladkorja? všeč, surovo?

I remember when I was a little kid and my parents weren't home

Spominjam se, ko sem bil majhen otrok in mojih staršev ni bilo doma

I'd just go in the cupboard and take the sugar thing and just eat spoonfuls of it

Pravkar bi šel v omaro in vzel še sladkor in samo pojedel žličke

Or maybe I still do that now and you just don't know

Ali pa morda še zdaj to počnem in preprosto ne veste

I'm gonna mix this now because um I think that's right?

Zdaj bom to premešal, ker mislim, da je tako?

*angry guitar music*

* jezna kitara glasba *

honestly, this is your fault

iskreno, za to ste krivi

you're the one who subscribed, so you're the one who's giving me diabetes

vi ste tisti, ki ste se naročili, torej ste vi tisti, ki mi daje sladkorno bolezen

anyone want a bite?

kdo hoče ugriz?

this is where the real fun begins

tu se začne prava zabava

we have to beat in two eggs and a tablespoon of vanilla extract

moramo premagati dve jajci in žlico vanilijevega ekstrakta

things are about to get violent up in here

tukaj bodo stvari nasilne

*dramatic noise*

* dramatičen hrup *

prestrašen sem

I have a dad joke for you

Oče imam za šalo

what's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus station?

kakšna je razlika med jastogom z prsnimi vsadki in umazano avtobusno postajo?

one's a dusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!

ena je prašna avtobusna postaja, druga pa prsata raka!

* smeh skladba *

after this video, Gordon Ramsay is just going to be a thing of the past

po tem videu bo Gordon Ramsay samo stvar preteklosti

you know, I only know one chef, and her name is Joana Ceddia

veste, poznam samo enega kuharja in se ji reče Joana Ceddia

WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUUUUUCE

KJE JE SAVUUUCE LAMBE

got a bit carried away there

sem se malo odnesel tja

ok not gonna lie, that's looking kind of disgusting

ok ne bom lagal, to je videti nekako odvratno

"disgusting" (scottish accent)

"gnusno" (škotski naglas)

it's kind of like if cellulite was a food

nekako je, kot če bi bil celulit hrana

I mean, nothing against cellulite, but you know

Mislim, nič proti celulitu, ampak veste

I don't really want to eat it

Pravzaprav ga nočem jesti

ok this is getting so weird

ok, to postaja tako čudno

next step: vanilla extract

naslednji korak: vaniljev ekstrakt

I still don't get the point of vanilla extract, like it literally tastes like ass

Še vedno ne razumem vanilijevega ekstrakta, kot da dobesedno ima okus po riti

like it smells fine but

kot da diši lepo, ampak

who would drink that?

one and a half teaspoons

eno in pol čajne žličke

one teaspoon, half a teaspoon!

ena čajna žlička, pol čajne žličke!

so the next step is to mix in all the dry ingredients

zato je naslednji korak mešanje vseh suhih sestavin

we have a little bowl here

tu imamo malo sklede

stir two cups of all purpose flour with one teaspoon of baking soda and half a teaspoon of salt in a separate bowl

v ločeni skledi zmešajte dve skodelici namenske moke z eno čajno žličko sode bikarbone in pol čajne žličke soli

gradually beat into butter mixture

postopoma stepemo v masleno zmes

ok, that's already so much for me

ok, to je zame že toliko

oh that's nice, that's so nice

oh lepo, to je tako lepo

*happy trumpet music*

* vesela trobentarska glasba *

flour's done. baking soda. a teaspoon. a teaspoon. wait, what is a dessert spoon?

moka je gotova. Soda bikarbona. čajna žlička. čajna žlička. čakaj, kaj je žlica za sladico?

ok, whoever designed this is stupid

ok, kdor je to zasnoval, je neumen

zdaj nekaj soli

we are going to have some salty cookies

imeli bomo nekaj slanih piškotkov

I just farted and it didn't smell good

Pravkar sem prdnil in mi ni dišalo dobro

ok, now is where I think this could definitely go south *YEEHAW*

ok, zdaj mislim, da bi to zagotovo lahko šlo na jug * YEEHAW *

I have to mix this gradually into here, and I'm culinarily challenged, you could say

Tu moram postopoma vmešati to in rekel bi, da lahko kulinarično izzivam

so, that is definitely going to be a task

tako, da bo to zagotovo naloga

let's just say a quick prayer

recimo samo hitro molitev

*trisha payta's HIT SONG, I love you jesus here on CFXJ-FM to start off your morning with holy start*

* HIT SONG trisha payta, ljubim te Jesus tukaj na CFXJ-FM, da začneš svoje jutro s svetim začetkom *

*jesus my superstar deep fried version plays*

* jesus moj superzvezdni ocvrti različici igra *

ok

now that the real meat of the cookies are finished

zdaj ko je končano pravo meso piškotov

*fun time piano music*

* zabavna klavirska glasba *

ok, hi there, so I wanna make a hundred cookies

ok, zdravo, zato želim narediti sto piškotov

so, I have to figure out how big the cookies are going to be

zato moram ugotoviti, kako veliki bodo piškotki

for that, I had to measure out how much batter I made

za to sem moral izmeriti, koliko testo sem naredil

but, you know, I couldn't just measure it all inside the bowl

toda veste, ne bi mogel samo izmeriti vsega v skledi

because the bowl weighs like a ton

ker posoda tehta kot tona

so my measurements are going to be inaccurate

zato bodo moje meritve netočne

so what did I have to do? I had to measure the batter.

kaj sem torej moral storiti? Izmeriti sem moral testo.

prepare yourselves, because this is what I did

pripravi se, ker sem to storil

mom, if you're watching, I'm so sorry

mama, če gledaš, tako mi je žal

I should never be allowed in the kitchen again

Nikoli več me ne smejo pustiti v kuhinjo

so just take a deep breath

zato le globoko vdihnite

let's do it together, ok?

naredimo skupaj, ok?

pripravljen? v redu.

*pop music* *crying*

* pop glasba * * jok *

so now that I've measured the cookies, it's about a thousand grams of batter

tako da zdaj, ko sem izmeril piškote, je približno tisoč gramov testa

so that means that each cookie has to be 10 grams.

tako da mora biti vsak piškotek 10 gramov.

that should be pretty easy, but I always find a way to mess stuff up so-

to bi moralo biti precej enostavno, toda vedno najdem način, da zavarujem stvari tako -

ok, I'm going to make these hundred cookies, and I'll see you guys when it's done

v redu, naredil bom teh sto piškotkov in se vidimo, fantje, ko bo končano

this is going to be very overwhelming

to bo zelo pretirano

pray for me, please

moli zame, prosim

* glasba flavte *

ow

ok, that's terrible

ok, to je grozno

oh, that's just great

o, to je samo super

if you're wondering what happened in that last clip, let me explain

če se sprašujete, kaj se je zgodilo v zadnjem posnetku, naj pojasnim

so I was removing that circular tray from the bottom ledge, and for some reason, I tilted it and all the cookies fell on the bottom of the oven

zato sem odstranil krožni pladenj s spodnje police in iz nekega razloga sem ga nagnil in vsi piškotki so padli na dno pečice

and then I started to freak out, so with my other ungloved hand, I grabbed the other side of the scorching hot tray-

nato pa sem se začel čuditi, tako da sem z drugo neprilagojeno roko prijel drugo stran gorečega vročega pladnja -

it was a little bit like this vine

malo je bilo podobno tej trti

wE'rE jUSt frIeNdS, WhAt aRe yoU sAyinG- AHHH

BITI JUSt FrIeNdS, KAJ ARe yoU sAyinG- AHHH

so now I'm holding this ice cube, because I'm a wuss

tako da zdaj držim to kocko ledu, ker sem wuss

and this hurts way too much for me to even function

in to me preveč boli, da bi sploh lahko deloval

so nevertheless, the cookies came out, and just by looking at them, they look pretty good

tako so kljub temu izšli piškotki in samo s pogledom na njih izgledajo precej dobro

so I mean, not going to lie, it's definitely a step up from the pizza

zato mislim, da ne bom lagal, vsekakor je korak od pice

ok this ice cube is not working

ok, ta ledena kocka ne deluje

so let's just take a bite

zato le pokuhajmo

*dramatic music* "the prophecy is true"

* dramatična glasba * "prerokba je resnična"

these are the best cookies I've ever had

to so najboljši piškotki, kar sem jih kdaj imel

I'm so proud of myself

Tako sem ponosna nase

for once in my life, a baking project has actually gone well!

že enkrat v mojem življenju je projekt peke pravzaprav šel dobro!

oh my god they're so good

o moj bog, tako dobri so

what can I say, Gordon Ramsay, move over

kaj naj rečem, Gordon Ramsay, premakni se

Jamie Oliver? who's that? *Jamie Oliver has left the group chat*

Jamie Oliver? kdo je to? * Jamie Oliver je zapustil skupinski klepet *

anyways, before I ended this video, I just wanted to say one more big thank you to all of you

Kakor koli že, preden sem končal ta video, sem se želel še enkrat zahvaliti vsem vam

thank you all so much for subscribing

hvala vsem, ker ste se naročili

for some context, when I got one subscriber, I freaked out. When I got 10, I had a heart attack

zaradi nekega konteksta, ko sem dobil enega naročnika, sem zbujal. Ko sem jih imel 10, sem doživel srčni infarkt

so now it's like all of god's wrath is just raining down on me

tako da zdaj je, kot da se ves božji gnev samo dežuje name

hope you guys enjoyed it

upam, da ste uživali

these cookies are really good

ti piškotki so res dobri

see you later, boobsters

se vidimo kasneje, boobsters

ew

ew

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