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Entertainment  6.4M views 257.2K likes 4.3K dislikes   26 Oct 2017
Porta dos Fundos 19.1M subscribers Brazil YouTube↗


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-Then you go there again. -You are too much for me!
- Pero entonces vas alla de nuevo... - Yo no las aguanto chicas.
-Hi. Thank you. -Thank you.
Hola.
It's basically the same. Split it three-ways? $ 60 each?
- Gracias. - Gracias. Muchachas, aquí da casi igual, ¿eh? ¿Será que dividimos R$60,00, para cada una?
I'll pay on my phone and you give me cash.
Yo puedo pagar aquí por el celular.
-Ok. -Sure.
Ustedes me dan el efectivo.
-Can you pay it for me? -Sure.
- ¿Puede ser? - Ok. Esta bien. ¿Me lo pagas, Michelle?
You need to stop eating so much
Pago. Sólo tienes que parar de comer ese plato de albañil que tu preparas
or you'll be as big as your mother
si no vas a quedar como una ballena, gorda y fastidiosa igual que tu mamá
and your husband will leave you.
y tu marido te va a dejar.
Pull it together, woman!
Tal vez con eso agarras escarmiento.
I'll take it easy.
Ok, me voy a controlar.
What's going on here, guys? Is everything ok?
Hola chicas, ¿qué es esto?
-Yes, it is. -Let me see.
¿Esta todo bien? Si, si.
Come here.
Déjame ver aquí...
She can't talk to you like this.
Ven acá. Ella no te puede hablar así.
Of course she can. She's the boss.
Ella si puede, amiga. Ella manda en mi.
How come?
¿Cómo así?
We were fighting on Facebook, so I said,
Mira amiga, el otro día estábamos discutiendo en Facebook, y yo dije:
"You don't pay my bills, you don't control me. Shut up!"
- Cállate la boca envidiosa. - Tú no me pagas las cuentas.
Now she's paying things for me and she controls me.
- Tú no te encargas de mi vida. Entonces ella comenzó a pagar mis cuentas y a encargarse de mi vida.
That's crazy! What does she pay?
Ah, que cosa... ¿Qué paga ella?
Everything. All my bills.
Ella paga todo.
She pays rent, my son's school,
Todos los gastos. Ella paga el alquiler, ella paga la escuela de Luquinhas.
so she is the boss of me now.
Ahora ella manda en mi vida, ella manda en mi.
Patricia, since I have the app on now,
Patrícia, voy a aprovechar que la aplicación esta abierta,
how much did you pay for groceries?
¿hiciste la compra del mes? ¿Cuánto dió?
-It was $ 550. -That's expensive.
Fueron R$550,00.
-Do you have the receipt? -I do!
Caro... ¿Tienes la facturita? La tengo, la tengo. Ya va, espera ahí.
Here.
Esta aqui.
Let me see.
Déjame ver...
Yep, you were right.
Esta bien.
Stop buying the expensive probiotic.
Sólo tienes que parar con esa grasa aquí de Yakult, ¿no?
Go for the knock-off. It tastes the same.
Vamos a tomar Chamyto, que es la mitad del precio y es la misma mierda, ¿no?
Oh, one more thing. Don't post your baby's pics on Facebook.
Otra cosa que tengo para decirte, para de postear fotos de tu nené en Facebook.
Everyone is sick of it.
Nadie aguanta más tu nené en Facebook.
Let's be honest. He's not a cute baby.
Vamos a ser sinceras... Ni siquiera es un bebé bonito...
Fine. I'll delete them.
Esta bien, las voy a borrar.
She's bad-mouthing your baby.
Oh Patrícia, habló de tu bebé...
The hell with the baby! My life is 100% better now.
Ah, que se dañe el bebé, amiga. Mi vida mejoró un 100%.
I go to the gym every day and I study German.
Estoy yendo al gimnasio todos los días, estoy estudiando alemán,
Every week, I have a new shrink.
estoy cambiando de terapeuta siempre que puedo... Mi vida es lo máximo.
-My life's awesome. -Give me your parking ticket.
Dame tu tarjeta de estacionamiento para pagar aquí también.
Ok.
Ok.
Patricia, let's use a better perfume.
Patrícia, vamos a cambiar ese perfume de feria que ya no está dando,
This one is killing me.
está quemando mis ojos.
It's intoxicating me.
Estoy sientiendo el gusto del perfume aquí en la garganta.
-Will you pay mine, Michelle? -Sure!
Oh Michelle, paga el mío también.
Here's the thing. Better outfits next time.
Pago. Hacemos lo siguiente, las dos vengan mejor vestidas entonces en el próximo encuentro...
Patricia, let's use braces.
Patrícia, te voy a poner un aparato ahí en esos dientes porque tu encía está inchada,
Your swollen gum is nasty. I smell poop breath from over here.
está un poco asquerosa, me viene un alientico así, de mierda...
Sonia, dye your hair a different color.
Sônia, cambia ese color de tu cabello
Use some moisturizer on your cracked heels, right?
y pasate una cremita en esos talones agrietados desde hace mucho tiempo, ¿ok?
Use less hair ointment.
Menos Kolene en el cabello.
Go back to church.
Vuelve para la iglesia.
Lose weight.
Adelgaza.
Gain weight.
Engorda.
You have a fungal infection. Use this cream twice a day.
Eso es micosis. Yo te voy a recetar aquí una pomadita para que te la pongas dos veces al día.
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