Is She Gay?YouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Comedy  1.5M views 38.4K likes 296 dislikes   06 Aug 2015
Just Between Us 615K subscribers N/A YouTube↗


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You're a girl.
Tu sei una ragazza.
Is this some sort of trick question
E' una domanda trabocchetto che ti
that ends with you yelling at me about
porterà ad urlare qualcosa sul
the gender binary?
doppio standard di genere?
Not this time.
Non questa volta.
Oh! Well then I am a girl;
Oh! Ok, allora sono una ragazza
trying to become a woman.
che cerca di diventare donna.
And you're straight.
E sei etero.
We've been through this!
Ne abbiamo parlato!
I tried to fantasize about you in that way
Ho cercato di pensare a te in quel senso
and it just didn't work for me.
ma non ha funzionato.
I've been texting.
Sto messaggiando.
No. If that is straight-girl tease Megan
No. Se è la Megan etero che stuzzica
you need to put a dollar in this jar.
devi metter un dollaro nel barattolo.
(People Gaby shouldn't text)
(Persone che Gaby non dovrebbe sentire)
It is straight-girl tease Megan,
E' la Megan etero che stuzzica.
but she initiated Allison! She wanted to
Ma ha iniziato lei, Allison! Mi ha detto
tell me that I would look good in KStew's
che starei benissimo col taglio di
haircut, ok? Why would she be texting me
KStew! Perché dovrebbe scrivermi
about a lesbian goddess sent from gay
di una dea lesbica mandata dal paradiso gay
heaven to terrorize men's hearts
per terrorizzare i cuori degli uomini
and put fire in women's loins if she
e infiammare le carni delle donne se
wasn't gay!?
non fosse gay?"
I don't really understand why everyone is
Non capisco davvero perché siate tutti
so obsessed with Kristen Stewart,
così ossessionati da Kristen Stewart,
I mean I like her-
Cioè, mi piace--
This is proof Megan is gay!
E' la prova che Megan è gay!
YOU THINK EVERYBODY IS GAY!
TU CREDI CHE SIANO TUTTI GAY!
You have an entire powerpoint presentation
Hai una presentazione in PowerPoint
about why George Clooney is bisexual!
sul perché George Clooney è bisessuale!
That man loves the Italian Riviera more
Quell'uomo ama la Riviera italiana più
than any straight guy could.
di quanto ogni etero dovrebbe.
(Noises of forfeit)
(Segni di rinuncia)
Thank you.
Grazie.
Tim. Last night. I deleted his number again.
Tim. Ieri sera. Ho cancellato ancora il suo numero.
(Sighs) This girl has been teasing you for
(sospiro) Questa ragazza di stuzzica da mesi.
months. I can't tell if she's nice let
Non si capisce se è simpatica,
alone gay. She's into me okay?
figurati gay. Le piaccio, ok?
Women are just more subtle.
Le donne sono più discrete.
Yeah, you're extremely subtle Gaby.
Sì, sei estremamente discreta, Gaby.
Not me! Other women.
Non io! Le donne!
Look, look, look,
Guarda, guarda, guarda.
I asked her if she wanted to come
Le ho chiesto se voleva venire
bra shopping with us and she said she had
a comprare reggiseni, ha detto che ha
enough "tools of the patriarchy."
abbastanza "strumenti del patriarcato".
That just means she majored in something
Questo significa solo che è laureata in qualcosa
that doesn't make any money. Not that
che non rende soldi. Non che
she's into women.
le piacciano le donne.
She asked if I'd seen the new Tegan and Sara.
Mi ha chiesto se ho visto le nuove Tegan e Sara.
Oh I love Tegan and Sara, and I also can't
Oh, adoro Tegan e Sara, e non riesco a
look at my own vagina without squealing.
guardarmi la patata senza urlare.
But Megan has three cats and she's
Ma Megan ha 3 gatti e li mette
constantly posting them on Instagram!
sempre su Instagram!
Gaby, aren't you the one who rails
Gaby, non sei quella che lotta contro
against stereotypes? How can you possibly
gli stereotipi? Come puoi
assume this woman is queer based on such
pensare che una donna sia gay basandoti
shallow aspects of her personality?
su questi inutili aspetti della personalità?
You should only be concerned with who she
Dovrebbe solo interessarti che persona sia
really is as a person instead of trying
invece di provare a scoprire
to uncover the mystery of her sexuality,
il segreto della sua sessualità,
which isn't your business
il che non è affar tuo
in the first place!
in primo luogo!
Wow. You're right. I'm gonna ask her to
Wow, hai ragione. Le chiedo di venire a cena
dinner and get to know her as a person.
e la conoscerò di persona.
You've out-Gabyed the Gaby.
Hai fatto uscire Gaby dalla Gaby.
My thoughts are no longer my own.
I miei pensieri non sono più miei.
Ooo! She wants to get tacos.
Oooh! Vuole mangiare tacos!
You guys are DEFINITELY gonna fuck.
Scoperete sicuramente.
Because tacos means vagina.
Perché tacos vuol dire vagina.
Ok.
Ok.
That's the correct-that's the lingo.
Questo è il-- Questo è il gergo.
Subtitles by the Amara.org community
Sottotitoli fatti dalla comunità Amara.org
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