MY HOT ONLINE GIRLFRIENDYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Entertainment  12.4M views 173.7K likes 5.6K dislikes   06 Mar 2015
Smosh 27.1M subscribers United States YouTube↗


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(attempting to call through Skype)
(příchozí hovor na Skype)
(Ian) Shut up!!
(Ian) ZMLKNI!
Look, Tiffany, it's been six months.
Tiffany podívej, už to bylo 6 měsíců.
You promised me you'd show me your face by now.
Slíbila jsi mi, že mi ukážeš svůj obličej.
(distorted voice) Yeah, I-I don't know.
Víš, j-já nevím.
Tiffany, look.
Tiffany, podívej.
You know I hate arguing with you 'cause I love you so much.
Ty víš, že dohadování s tebou nesnáším, protože tě tolik miluju.
Just please show me your face.
Prostě mi prosím ukaž svůj obličej.
Okay, fine.
Dobře, fajn.
Just, I gotta fix my hair, okay?
Jenom si upravím vlasy, ok?
I'll be right back. I promise.
Budu hned zpátky. Slibuju.
Awesome.
Paráda.
You're gonna make such a beautiful wife.
Bude z tebe úžasná nevěsta.
(Tiffany) Okay, are you ready?
(Tiffany) Dobře, jsi připravený?
- Yes! - (Tiffany) Here I come.
- Ano! - (Tiffany) Už to bude.
(power shuts down)
(výpadek elektřiny)
No. No!
Ne. Ne!
No! I was gonna see your possibly beautiful face!
Ne! Chtěl jsem vidět tvůj snad krásný obličej!
Tiffannnnnnnnnny!
Tifannnnnnnny!
Dude, the power's out.
Kámo, elektřina vypadla.
Yeah, no sh*t.
Jo, no nekecej.
Okay, dude, we need to get the power back on right now
Dobře, hele, musíme získat elektřinu zpátky, hned teď
because I was in the middle of a super hot date
protože jsem uprostřed super žhavýho rande
with a possibly extremely hot girl.
se snad extrémně sexy holkou.
What are you talking about?
O čem to mluvíš?
Okay, I really didn't want to tell you until I married her,
Fajn, nechtěl jsem ti to říct do tý doby, než si jí vezmu,
but I've been kind of secretly dating this girl
ale chodím tajně s touhle holkou
for the past six months and I haven't exactly seen her face yet.
asi 6 měsíců a ještě jsem neviděl ejí obličej.
You can't be serious.
No nemyslíš vážně.
Yeah, I'm serious.
Jo, jsem vážnej.
If you're so serious, do the serious dance.
Jestli to myslíš vážně, udělej vážnej tanec.
(sighs)
(dubstep music)
My god, you are serious.
Pane bože, ty mluvíš pravdu.
Yeah, okay, the power's out.
Jo, dobře, takže vypadla elektřina.
The breaker probably tripped so we just need to flip
Jistič pravděpodobně vypadl takže musíme otočit
that little switchy thingie.
tou malinkou páčkou.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Ne, ne, ne, ne, ne, ne.
I would definitely not go outside if I were you.
Rozhodně bych nechodil ven být tebou.
Why?
Proč?
Well, because the power's probably out everywhere,
No, protože elektřina pravděpodobně vypadla všude,
so the planes in the sky probably also don't have power,
takže letadla na nebi taky nemají elektřinu,
so they're coming to the ground, crashing and killing everyone.
takže nejspíš spadnout a všechny zabijou.
That could happen?
To by se mohlo stát?
Seriously?
Fakt?
(dubstep music)
Oh my god.
Pane bože.
Yeah, it's serious.
Jo, je to vážný.
Look, I'd probably just give up on her anyway.
Podívej, měl by jsi to s ní vzdát.
Man, look, it's been what? Two minutes?
Hele, jak dlouho to bylo? Dvě minuty?
Dude, girls move on so quickly.
Kámo, holky se pohybujou moc rychle.
She's probably already with some other guy,
Pravděbodobně je teď s jiným klukem
if she hasn't already been crushed and killed by all the falling planes.
a pokud ne tak jí zabilo jedno z těch padajících letadel.
No, man. This is the love of my life.
Ne. Tohle je láska mého života.
I can't give up on her now.
Nemůžu to s ní vzdát.
- You haven't even seen her face! - I've seen her breasts,
- Vždyť jsi ani neviděl její obličej! - Viděl jsem její prsa
and they're amazing.
a byly úžasný.
All we need to do is find another way to power the computer.
Všechno co musíme udělat je, najít jiný způsob jak nahodit počítač.
(shuffling)
Hey, what are you doing?
Hej, co to děláš?
It's simple physics, dude.
Je to jednoduchá fyzika.
If I build up enough static electricity, then I can touch the computer,
Pokud vybuduju dostatek statický elektřiny, tak se můžu dotknout počítače
then it'll come back on.
a on se zprovozní.
Oh my god, that is never gonna work.
Bože, tohle nikdy nebude fungovat.
TWO HOURS LATER
O DVĚ HODINY POZDĚJI
Please work, please work, please work!
Prosím funguj, prosím funguj, prosím funguj!
Tiffany, I'm coming.
Tifanny, už běžím.
(groans)
Oh my god! Dude, are you okay?
Ježiši! Jsi v pohodě?
(groans)
Dude, that's it.
A je to!
I'm never gonna get the power back on.
Nikdy se mi to nahodit nepovede.
I'm never gonna see Tiffany's possibly hot face.
Nikdy neuvidím Tiffanin snad krásný obličej.
And I'm never gonna even be able to take her to an Elvis concert.
A nikdy jí nevezmu na Elvisův koncert.
You know Elvis has been dead for, like, 50 years, right?
Víš doufám, že Elvis je asi 50 let mrtvý.
Dude, I saw him in Vegas a month ago.
Hele, viděl jsem ho ve Vegas přes měsícem.
If the power was on right now, I would totally Wikipedia the sh*t
Kdyby jsme měli elektřinu tak si to vyhledám na Wikipedii
out of that and prove your ass so wrong.
a dokážu ti, že se pleteš.
Well, if you're serious about him being dead,
Víš, jestli mluvíš pravdu o tom, že je mrtvý,
do the serious dance.
udělej vážej tanec.
No, I don't want to--
Ne, nechci to--
Do the f*cking serious dance.
Udělej ten po**ranej vážnej tanec
(dubstep music)
Oh my god. Oh my god!
Pane bože. Pane bože!
Oh my god. I'm so cold.
Pane bože. Je mi taková zima.
Everything's falling apart.
Všechno se rozpadá.
I need one of those useless foil blankets that they always give
Potřebuju jednu z těch zbytečnej dek co ti vždycky dají
to victims of tragedies.
obětem při nehodách.
Here you go.
Tady máš.
Hey, you have the same shirt as my girlfriend.
Hej, máš úplně to stejný tričko jako mojí holka.
I--yeah, yeah, this is a real popular shirt.
Já-jo, jo, je to docela populární tričko.
You have the same belly button hair as her too.
Máš i stejný pupík jako ona.
Yeah, I mean, it's a really--
Jo, myslím, je to fakt--
You have the same crotch bulge as her too!
A máš stejnou bouli v rozkroku jako ona!
Dude, have you been catfishing me?
Kámo, ty jsi si se mnou jenom hrál?
Okay, yes! Okay, yes.
Dobře, jo! Jo!
I catfished you.
Hrál jsem si s tebou.
(groaning)
You were moping around like a fricking loser.
Trápil jsi se jako zatracenej ztroskotanec.
(groaning)
I had to do something to raise your self esteem.
Musel jsem něco udělat, aby jsem zvýšil tvoje sebevědomí.
By pretending to be my girlfriend for six months?!
Předstíráním toho, že jsi moje holka přes 6 měsíců?!
Dude, I quit gluten for you!
Kámo, kvůli tobě nejím lepek!
Yeah, and your acne cleared up.
Jo a tvoje akné zmizelo.
I wrote a bunch of erotic fan fictions about us.
Napsal jsem tuny erotickej fanfikcí o nás dvou.
And they all got published.
A všechny jsi je zveřejnil.
We cybered for 12 hours straight!
Volali jsme si přes 12 hodin v kuse!
Look, dude, I was just trying to be a good friend.
Podívej, snažil jsem se bejt dobrej kámoš.
(grumbles)
Wait...
Počkej...
(Anthony) What?
(Anthony) Co?
(Anthony) What-What are you doing?
(Anthony) C-Co to děláš?
This could work.
Tohle by mohlo fungovat.
You-You're not serious.
Ty-To nemyslíš vážně.
(dubstep music)
F*ck my life.
Doháje s mým životem.
(Ian) Thanks for watching, guys.
If you're not subscribed already, you can click that
big ass subscribe button and you can see our possibly
beautiful faces every week.
(Anthony) And if you guys want to see bloopers from this video,
and see why we said this:
(both) Boner!
Click the video on the left.
And if you guys wanna watch us play
Five Nights at Freddy's 3-- yeah, they made a sequel
to the sequel--the treequel. Click the video on the right
to watch the Smosh Games crew scream like little bitches.
Okay.
(screaming)
(screaming in slow mo)
[Captioned by Subtitle YouTube]
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