LIFE LESSONSYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Comedy  409.2K views 16.9K likes 342 dislikes   08 Sep 2016
Just Between Us 615K subscribers N/A YouTube↗


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♪ (JBU music) ♪
(Musik)
(Gaby typing)
(Gaby tippt)
Gaby?
Gaby?
If you're looking at your bank account,
Falls du dein Konto anschaust,
your balance is that small number on the top right.
dein Kontostand ist die kleine Nummer oben rechts.
Not looking at my bank account.
Ich schau meinen Kontostand nicht an.
Well you really should be, because you have a lot of credit card debt.
Du solltest aber. Du hast viele Schulden.
<i>This</i> is more important!
Das ist wichtiger.
Who is that? And why are you stalking him the way <i>I</i> stalk people?
Wer ist das? Und wieso stalkst du ihn wie ich es sonst mache.
It's Rami Malek. And I can't stop looking at pictures of him,
Das ist Rami Malek. Ich kann nicht aufhören Fotos von ihm anzuschauen.
or watching interviews with him, or googling facts about him.
Oder Interviews oder ihn zu googeln.
Because he's so handsome?
Weil er so gutaussehend ist?
He <i>is</i> handsome.
Er ist gutaussehend.
But that's not why.
Aber das ist nicht der Grund.
Think I have a 'man crush'.
Ich habe einen Männer-Schwarm.
A 'man crush'?
Einen Männer-Schwarm.
You know, like I find him cool and smart and charming,
Du weißt schon, ich finde ihn cool und schlau und charmant,
but I, like, wouldn't want to<i> date</i> the guy in a <i>heterosexual</i> way.
aber ich würde ihn nie mit ihm hetero ausgehen.
I get it.
Ich verstehe.
You're upset because I said I had a 'girl crush' on Gina Rodriguez last night.
Du regst dich auf, da ich gestern gesagt habe Gina Rodriguez wäre mein Frauen-Schwarm.
Mm-hmm.
Mh-hmmm.
And this entire thing was an elaborate set up
Und das alles ist ein abgekartetes Spiel,
so I would realize my mistake in a real life simulation.
damit ich meinen Fehler in einer echten Lebenssituation einsehe.
It took you long enough. I've been staring at my computer for over an hour.
Du hast lange gebraucht. Ich habe meinen Pc über eine Stunde angestarrt.
Gaby, why do you have to do these overwrought lessons?!
Gaby, wieso hast du diese übertriebenen Lektionen?
Can't you just talk to me like a normal person?
Kannst du mit mir nicht wie eine normale Person reden?
I've never done this before.
Das ist das erste Mal das ich das mache.
Oh really?
Acht echt?
Gaby, where are all my spoons?
Gaby, wo sind alle Löffel?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, tut mir leid.
'Spoons' have been historically under-represented in 'kitchenware'
Löffel sind historisch gesehen beim Besteck unterrepräsentiert,
so I figured you wouldn't notice if I erase them entirely.
also hab ich mir gedacht, du würdest es nicht merken, wenn ich alle wegnehme.
All I eat is cereal.
Ich ess doch nur Müsli.
Watch your step.
Pass auf.
I split the apartment in two to demonstrate the untenable nature of the gender binary.
Ich habe die Wohnung in zwei aufgeteilt um die unhaltbare Zweiteilung des Geschlechts zu zeigen.
Can I come to your side just for a second?
Kann ich kurz zu deiner Hälfte kommen?
Not until it's normalized by society.
Nicht, solang es in der Gesellschaft nicht anerkannt ist.
Sugar!
Sugar!
(whispering) Sugar, come here.
Sugar, komm her.
What is going on?!
Was ist los?
White privilege.
Weiße Privilegierung.
Ok, those weren't 'lessons'. Those were 'interactive demonstrations'.
Ok, das waren keine Lektionen. Das waren interaktive Veranschaulichungen.
Fine. You know what? I'm sorry that I said that I had a girl crush on Gina Rodriguez
Ok, weißt du was? Es tut mir leid, dass ich gesagt habe, Gina Rodriguez wäre mein Frauen-Schwarm.
which is the female equivalent of 'no homo'.
Was das weibliche Äquivalent von "ich bin ja nicht lesbisch, aber" ist.
Thank you.
Danke.
I feel great and superior.
Ich fühle mich gut und überlegen.
Ok, but for the record, I only said that because I don't wanna <i>fuck</i> Gina Rodriguez
Aber, um es festzuhalten, ich habe das nur gesagt, da ich mit Gina kein Sex haben will.
and you would <i>fuck</i> whoever that guy is!
Und du würdest mit diesem Kerl schlafen.
That's besides the point.
Das ist irrelevant.
Oh, I get it.
Oh, jetzt verstehe ich.
You put the spoons where the pens should go, because they're invading a safe space
Du hast die Löffel dorthin getan, wo die Stifte hinkommen, da sie in eine sichere Zone eingreifen,
<i>thus</i> teaching me the importance of female indentified areas in a patriarchal world.
um mir dadurch die Bedeutung von weiblichen Bereichen in der patriarchischen Welt zu zeigen.
...Yep.
Genau.
Or you just didn't know where to put the spoons!
Oder du wusstest nur nicht, wo die Löffel hingehören.
Let's go with your reason. It's <i>so good</i>.
Bleiben wir bei deinem Grund. Der ist gut.
Ugh.
Mmpf.
I feel brain-washed.
Ich fühle mich einer Gehirnwäsche unterzogen.
♪ (JBU music) ♪
(Musik)
Where are my jackets?!
Wo sind meine Jacken?
Think of your jackets as the minimum monthly payment you <i>should</i> be making.
Deine Jacken stehen für das Mindestmaß an monatlichen Zahlungen, die du machen solltest.
I don't like this game any more.
Ich mag das Spiel nicht mehr.
Really? I'm starting to appreciate it.
Wirklich? Ich weiß es jetzt zu schätzen.
Try to find your underwear.
Versuch deine Unterwäsche zu finden.
You won't.
Wirst du nicht schaffen.
♪ (JBU music) ♪
(Musik)
Come here!! Subtitles by the Amara.org community
Untertitel der Amara.org-Community
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