How to Have a Good ConversationYouTube↗  IA↗(long shot)
Education  1.1M views 38.7K likes 483 dislikes   19 May 2017
The School of Life 9.7M subscribers N/A YouTube↗


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Contributed subtitles
English Yilan L.
Arabic Nada Abdelhalim
Spanish (Latin America) Elaksandra
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all voice is it a guy trapped in the
Old Boy ...este despre un tip prins intr-o camera?
room yeah yeah basically it had a twist
Da,da,da...Este o rasturnare de situatie -asteapta pana la final
they created it can be painfully rare to end up in a satisfying conversation a lot of the time we talk and we listen
Se intampla destul de rar sa purtam o coversatie satisafactoare. Adesea, vorbim si ascultam,
but sincere deep connection eludes us
dar nu purtam conversatii simple si profunde
oil yes and pan its react differently and more healthy or less I like rapeseed
Uleiul,drojdia si tigaia...toate reactioneaza diferit intr-o maniera mai mult sau mai putin sanatoasa. Imi - place, uleiul din boabe de strugure este de fapt...
oil is actually really I like that I misspoke we shouldn't blame ourselves
serios...Imi place. Adica e foarte...
for the difficulties we face in conversations after all no one ever
Nu ar trebui sa ne invinovatim pentru dificultatile cu care ne confruntam in conversatii. Pana la urma, nu ne-a
particularly taught us how to have a conversation though it might have helped
invatam nimeni cum sa purtam o coversatie, desi ne-ar fi ajutat.
this is the slot the orbital is the other one besides all that set it of 40
Acesta este,um..,pai nu e orbitalul, nu-i asa? Este celalalt [incoerent[
what as people trying to get to work being trying to get to school which so it's just so stupid too often
Pai, sunt o grama de oameni care incearca sa ajunga la munca, la scoala. Adica, atat - este atat de stupid.
when we meet and talk we stay on the surface of events we say what happened
Adesea, cand ne intalnim si vorbim, purtam conversatii la suprafata. Spunem ce s-a intamplat, unde
where we went who we saw not how we felt or what it meant to us we talk about facts not feelings which are the only
am fost, pe cine am vazut; nu cum ne-am simtit, sau ce a inseamnat pentru noi. Vorbim despre chestiuni, nu despre sentimente; acestea fiind singurele
conduits to real connection thing that's
care conduc spre o conversatie reala.
the issue it's like when you're on that platform you see there's Royston nature
...aceasta este problema. Este ca si cum este pe platforma aia si vezi Royston,Natural Garden City,
of Garden City and well in Garden City and that's the thing like a lot of people are there on that platform awake
si Welling Garden City. Si asta este chestia - o gramada de oameni sunt acolo pe platforma aia si nu stiu
they don't know that they could change your Alexandra Palace or else we insist
ca acel loc poate schimba Palatul Alexandra
rather than explain feelings there by failing to get them into other people's
Sau mai degraba insistam decat explicam sentimentele, astfel incat nu reusim sa facem oamenii sa empatizeze
minds like so amazing I still cut a lot even thinking of it now is just like ah ah you know the yeah you know when
...atat de grozav. Inca mai simt - pana si acum cand ma gandesc la asta, este ca si cum...UHHH! Intelege-ti?...
you're kind of oh god it was great fast
stiti sentimentul cand esti cumva....Oh, Doamne a fost grozav. Oh, atat de bine!
so good typically we skirt the raw and intense emotions and head for safe but bland administrative chat why you seat me and
In mod tipic, excludem emotile intense si alegem sa purtam conversatii sigure, administrative.
then obviously when the engines break up and I became vegetarian I have found
Obisnuiam sa mananc carne...si apoi, bineinteles cand eu si James ne-am despartit si am devenit vegetariana, am aflat...
just absolutely the most amazing recipe book it's literally I don't know if you've
cea mai buna carte de retete. Este literalmente - Nu stiu daca a-ti vazut-o si are -
seen it and it's got like you can replace sort of the the dish that you
poti inlocui...un fel de mancare cu carne in el...
would have with me in it or else we simply can't keep a conversation on track we repeatedly as it were open new
Pur si simplu, nu putem tine firul conversatiei. In repetate randuri, deschidem noi paranteze
windows digressing until the threat is
pana cand subiectul se pierde treptat...
law so the thing you actually think of playing poker this weekend with you know
Deci m-am gandit - Ma gandeam sa joc poker in weekend-ul asta cu prietenii mei,
my mates but I don't play anymore because the mustard money last year and I don't so much to read now I'm more
dar nu mai joc pentru ca am pierdut niste bani anul trecut, si stiti...Sunt atat de multe de citit acum...
interested in reading if anything but it goes black I am going skiing next week
Intelege-ti la ce ma refer? Sunt mai interesat de citit...Ma duc la ski saptamana urmatoare, deci...
so bad day is not kind of place you
Nu stiu, nu este genul de loc despre care ai citi dar...
might read but the good news is that we can learn to shape other's conversations rather than just receive them passively
Vestea buna este ca putem invata sa croim conversatiile cu ceilalti decat sa ii ascultam pasiv
in a dialogue there are always what one might term conversational crossroads with paths that lead either to greater
Intr-un dialog exista ''pasaje conversationale'', cu cai care duc spre
intimacy or else towards ongoing superficiality here is one conversational crossroads I'm inviting
intimitate mai mare sau spre superficialitate. Uite un exemplu de pasaj conversational:
some friends over next week who I haven't seen since uni at this point you
O sa invit niste prieteni sapatama urmatoare pe care nu i-am mai vazut de la faculate.
could go in one of two ways a surface way oh cool what what
In acest punct, ai putea dirija conversatia in doua moduri. Calea de suprafata:
university did you go to me oh yeah it's
Oh cool, la ce facultate ai fost? Manchester.
really fun Manchester yeah my sister at night what did you study business what
Oh, da, e tare distractiv. Manchester,da. Sora mea a fost acolo. Ce ai studiat?
what what did you do in the second half
Business. Ce - ce ai ajuns sa faci in a doua jumatate?
for well I ended up in Events Management but yeah I did French oh you could steer
Pai...am ajuns sa fac Managementul Evenimentelor, Am facut franceza.
things down a more emotional path I'm
Sau ai putea opta pentru o cale mai emotionala in conversatie:
inviting some friends over next week who
Invit niste prieteni la mine saptamana viitoare pe care nu i-am mai vazut de la facultate.
I haven't seen since uni oh my gosh it's like what 10 12 years yeah that's when open it might got my degree here so I
Oh, Doamne, cat a trecut? 10,12 ani? Da, atunci mi-am luat diploma, da.
mean you've all completely changed I
Deci , toti v-ati schimbat...Adica tu te-ai schimbat.
mean you've changed yeah I guess I have here supposed to really thought about it
Da cred ca da. Nu prea m-am gandit la asta.
that much what would you think or say I mean if you could see you then now good
Ce crezi ca ti-ai spune daca te-ai vedea cum erai atunci in momentul asta?
listeners are like good editors trimming away what's superfluous trying gently to
Ascultatatorii buni sunt la fel ca editorii buni: Scot ceea ce nu este necesar , incercand sa faca vorbitorul
get the speaker to focus on what's
sa se concentreze asupra elementelor care sunt relevante.
really at stake and after my mum died as you can probably guess there's quite a bit of stress well I a lot helped by the
Si dupa ce mama mea a murit, dupa cum probabil puteti ghici, a existat putin stres...um...
fact that my favorite football team at the time and just United was going through a losing streak so but you were
Nu a ajutat ca in momentul ala echipa mea favorita de fotbal , Manchester United, trecea printr-o perioada de pierderi--
saying that like your parents got divorced and then literally three months
Deci, ziceai ca , um, parintii tai au divortat si dupa 3 luni mama ta
later one passed away yes it was all quite quite quick yeah but yeah I've got
a murit? Da. S-a petrecut totul repede...repede...repede
a friend Dave um or David as he's called
Da. Um, dar da. Am un prieten -- uh, Dave, um, sau David,
him work because obviously I was very
cum i se spune la munca, pentru ca bineinteles este putin informal--
informal thanks Pete in mine you were saying like it just like it all happened really quickly and like when your mum
Scuze, dar spuneai ca totul s-a intamplat foarte rapid si cand mama ta
went to us we didn't actually know she
s-a dus la spital nu stiai ca a fost bolnava inainte...
was ill before the other great surprise about conversations is how much we like it when people show vulnerability we always
Cealalta surpriza legata de conversatii este cat de mult le place oamenilor vulnerabilitatea.
think that what we need to do to get other people to like us is to show how
Mereu avem senzatia ca pentru a-i determina pe oameni sa ne place trebuie sa le aratam cat de bine ne merg lucrurile
well things are going for us surprisingly that's actually not very
Surprizator, aceasta nu este calea.
appealing it's so well paid and which is great in terms of you know now I can afford you know to live in Canterbury
Este atat de bine platit, um...ceea ce este grozav penru cate imi permit acum, stii...sa locuiesc in
and which is gorgeous and I love my flat and so yeah it's been really really positive actually it's not
Canterbury care este minunat si imi iubesc apartamentul, um...deci da, totul merge foarte bine.
that we want others to fail we just need to know that our own sorrows have echoes in the lives of others that's what
Nu e vorba ca vrem ca celorlalti sa nu le mearga bine, vrem doar sa stim ca suferintele noastre au ecouri in viata altora.
connects us strength may be impressive but its vulnerability that builds
Asta este ceea ce ne leaga unii de ceilalti; puterea poate fi impresionanta; dar vulnerabilitatea leaga prietenii.
friendships yes I guess so mr. every day since then which is mad because you know I'm a grown man now got a responsible
Da, cred ca...imi e dor de ea in fiecare zi decand...ceea ce e o nebunie pentru ca...stii, sunt un om matur acum...
job the family got my own home but when it comes down to it let's just miss Milan it's so poignant that we make so much effort to come together but often
am un loc de munca, familie, propria casa dar cand vine vorba de asta...Imi e dor de mama. Este atat de trist ca depunem atat de mult efort ca sa ne apropriem dar adesea nu reusim sa ne conectam cu ceilalti.
don't manage to connect the good news is
we can learn how to the connections we long for are just waiting for us to make
Vestea buna e ca putem invata cum sa facem asta. Conexiunile pe care ni le dorim ne asteapta pe noi
the right moves to secure them we
sa facem miscarile potrivite pentru a le securiza.
believe in making the world a more emotionally intelligent place and to that end we've now also published some
Noi credem in inteligenta emotionala si din acest motiv
extraordinary books as well as other merchandise that reinforces some of the
am publicat niste carti extraordinare care ofera explicatii suplimentare asupra temelor abordate
themes illustrated in our videos please click on the link below to see more
in video-urile noastre. Apasa pe link-ul de sub pentru a vedea mai multe.
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