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Entertainment  14.1M views 431.9K likes 6.7K dislikes   19 Nov 2015
Porta dos Fundos 19.1M subscribers Brazil YouTube↗


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-You took long, honey. -Yes, I did.
-Tardaste, mi amor. -Sí…
-What's that? -That's a sandwich.
-¿Qué es eso? -Algo para comer.
-What sandwich? -Any sandwich.
-¿Pero qué es? -Algo, algo para comer…
Sandwich.
Es un sándwich.
-For whom? -Whoever wants to eat it, Soraya.
-¿Y para quién es? -Para quien quiera comérselo.
-And my cigarettes? -I could not buy them.
¿Y mis cigarrillos? Tus cigarrillos no te los pude comprar.
You were gonna buy cigarettes, and gets back with a sandwich?
Renato, ¿sales a comprar cigarrillos y vuelves con un sándwich?
I had a diarrhoea on the street, Soraya.
¡Me dio una cagadera en el medio de la calle, Soraya!
-Is that poop? -Would I buy poop?
-¿Hay caca ahí adentro? -¿Cómo va a ser caca?
I stopped at a diner to shit, was shy,
Lo compré para entrar y poder cagar. No quería mostrar que entré solo para cagar
and bought any sandwich.
y compré cualquier sándwich.
-You could have brought cigarette. -I could, yes, I could.
Pero podías haber traído los cigarrillos. Sí, poder, podía. Realmente.
But human mind and intestine do not talk.
Pero sabes que la mente humana y los intestinos a veces no se comunican.
Renato, what key is this? Whose car?
Renato… ¿Y esas llaves? ¿De quién es ese auto?
The new car I bought for us.
Es del auto que compré, nuestro auto nuevo.
You bought a car? I had a diarrhoea, Soraya.
-¿¡Compraste un auto!? -¡Tenía cagadera, Soraya!
I entered a car store, the guys were looking at me.
¡Entré a la concesionaria, un tipo se me pone a mirar,
I'd shit his restroom. Would I get out happy?
yo le voy a cagar todo el baño y voy a salir con la cara normal!
-People could not suspect. -Shit, Renato!
¡Tuve que disimular para que la gente no desconfíe!
It's a New Fiesta.
-¡Carajo, Renato! -Es un New Fiesta.
-Didn't you want a Focus? -Focus had too many papers.
¿No querías un Focus? ¡Para el Focus había que llenar un papeleo enorme!
I could not waste time, it was shit with Nutella.
¡Pero yo no podía perder el tiempo, todo cagado, y…!
With what money did you buy this car?
Renato, ¿con qué dinero compraste el auto?
With the bank's money.
Lo compré con el dinero del banco.
What bank? You're unemployed.
¿Qué banco? ¡Si estás desempleado
How many times do I have to say I had diarrhoea?
y ni sabes qué es una cuenta corriente! ¡Cuántas veces debo decirte que tenía cagadera, Soraya!
-I bought it with bank's money. -Renato, you robbed a bank?
Acá está el dinero que saqué del banco. Renato… ¿Asaltaste un banco?
I got in to shit. Everyone looking... Shit coming out...
¡Entré al banco para cagar y todos me miraban! ¡Había una ahí que se asomaba y me miraba!
Looking at my face, people judging me...
¡La gente me juzgaba, carajo!
What do we do now?
¿Y qué hacemos ahora?
We must kill the guy in the trunk,
Ahora tenemos que matar al tipo que está en el baúl.
take 500kg of coke to Madureira,
Llevar 500 kilos de cocaína para Madureira,
get on a balloon, and go to Sorocaba.
subirme a un globo e irme para Sorocaba.
-Why? -Because I have diarrhoea.
-¿Por qué? -¡Porque tengo cagadera!
Hi, good afternoon! Everything ok? Fine.
Hola, buenas tardes. ¿Qué tal? Bien…
I was there earlier today.
Yo estuve hoy ahí, más temprano,
I adopted the two kids and the Lab.
fui el que adoptó las dos niñas y llevó el labrador.
I wanted to know something about food.
Quería saber sobre la alimentación.
Can they already eat sandwiches?
¿Ya tienen edad para comer sándwich?
Not yet?
Todavía no, ¿verdad? No, está bien.
Ok. Fine. No problem.
No importa.
Are they sisters?
¿Ellas son hermanas? Porque una me pareció chinita
I saw one is Chinese, and the other...
y la otra… Ah, no lo son.
They are not, right? I was running, so I got the first one I saw. Great!
No, es que en el apuro agarré lo primero que vi.
No. Everything is fine.
Está bien… No, no… Está todo bien.
Ok. There's a truck here on the street. It's a heavy truck.
Ahora pasó un camión, un camión de la pesada.
Great! We talk later.
Bueno, pero está bien. Después hablamos.
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