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Comedy  1.2M views 78.7K likes 501 dislikes   11 Aug 2015
Barbixas 4M subscribers Brazil YouTube↗


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Hello, Mrs. Maria? This is a kidnapping, we have your son, know what I'm sayin'?
Hola, ¿María? Esto es un secuestro, tenemos a su hijo, ¿entiendes?
Your son is here, talk to him!
Sí, su hijo está aquí, ¡hable con él!
Hello, mom, help me! They kidnapped me, mom!
¡Hola, mamá, socorro! ¡Ellos me secuestraron, mamá!
Yeah, we want 120...
Eso mismo, queremos 120...
No, he's just...
No, es él, que está...
She hung up.
Cortó.
I told you, more despair, dammit!
Te lo dije, haz más desesperación, ¡caramba!
- I did it, I was desperate, it had desperation! - It has to be more!
- Me desesperé, hubo desesperación. - ¡Tiene que ser más!
Use the kid, he's here, we use him and that's it...
Usa al chico, ya está aquí, lo usamos y se termina...
Kid! Say something with your voice so we can get the hang of it, c'mon!
¡Tú! Dinos algo con tu voz para agarrar el tono, ¡vamos!
- Say what? - Say what?
- ¿Decir qué? - ¿Decir qué?
Something more desperate, like: "Mom, help!", how would you call your mother...
Una frase desesperada: "¡Mamá, socorro!", cómo llamarías a tu madre...
- But I don't call my mom like that. - How do you call your mother?
- Pero yo no llamo así a mi madre - ¿Cómo la llamas?
Cute.
Linda.
- You call your mother "cute"? - Yeah.
- ¿Le dices a tu madre "linda"? - Sí.
Guys, "cute" is not going to happen, it doesn't fit me!
"Linda" no puede ser, ¡eso no sale de mi boca!
Just use the kid's "cute", he's already here, we make him use his own "cute"!
Hay que usar el "linda" de él, ¡lo usamos diciendo "linda" a él mismo!
Shut up! This is called organized crime for a reason, okay?
¡Cállate! El crimen organizado no se llama así porque sí, ¿ok?
- But "cute" is not going to work... - There, it worked! It's great!
- Pero "linda" no... - ¡Ahí, está! ¡Salió genial!
- Cute? - Kid, isn't it good?
- ¿Linda? - ¿No salió bien?
- It is. - C'mon, this is happening! Call her! Remember, we'll ask for 120 thousand,
- Sí. - ¡Vamos! Vamos a llamar. Recordemos, vamos a pedir 120 mil,
we have a buffer zone, we could settle for a hundred.
pedimos 100, y estamos aceptando.
You don't know how much my father had to work to get this money...
No sabes todo lo que mi padre trabajó para tener ese dinero...
- It's ringing... - Stop, hang up!
- Está llamando... - ¡Espera, corta!
- What's the matter, dawg? - You said he was highborn!
- ¿Qué sucede? - Dijiste que él era bien nacido.
Highborn, rich, what's the big difference?
Bien nacido, rico... ¿Cuál es la gran diferencia?
To be highborn and to work your way up are different things, it's another genesis for the character!
Ser bien nacido y trabajar es diferente, ¡la génesis del personaje es otra!
Not happening!
¡No va a funcionar!
What are you doing?
¿Qué haces?
- C'mon, dawg, that guy wrote this in the middle of the last century! - In the beginning!
- Viejo, ese tipo escribió eso a mediados el siglo pasado - ¡A principio!
Russia doesn't even have kidnappings, man!
¡En Rusia ni hay secuestro!
"In this other school, to live the part does not estabilish the creation's primeval moment, like we do,
"En esta otra escuela, vivir el papel no constituye el instante primordial de la creación,
but it's just a preparatory stage, a broader artistic elaboration."
es apenas una fase preparatoria, una elaboración artística más amplia."
- I call, the kid talks, that's it, we go home... - Easy!
- Llamo, el chico habla, fin, nos vamos... - ¡Calma!
Man, it's all right, relax.
Hombre, está todo bien, relájate.
All right, this is happening, be prepared, get ready to call...
Todo bien, va a salir, vamos a prepararnos, prepara la llamada...
- Breathe... Let the air in... - Cute!
- Respiro... Entra el aire... - ¡Linda!
- Go on, cute... - Cute... Cute? Cute!
- Vamos, linda... - Linda... ¿Linda? ¡Linda!
Great! Let's go, call her!
¡Está genial! ¡Vamos, llama!
- Can I call? - Yes! Silence in the lockup, please!
- ¿Puedo llamar? - ¡Sí! Silencio en el cautiverio, por favor!
Second sign... Third sign.
Segunda señal... Tercera señal.
Hello, Mrs. Maria? That's right, we have your kid, it's a kidnapping, man!
Hola, ¿María? Eso mismo, estamos con su hijo, ¡es un secuestro!
We kidnapped him, he's gonna talk to you!
Un secuestro, ¡está aquí y le va a hablar!
Cute! They got me! Do whatever they tell you to do! Cute!
¡Linda! Ellos me agarraron, ¡haz todo lo que ellos quieran, linda!
That's right, we want 120 thousand until this afternoon! Stay sharp, keep your phone close!
¡Eso, queremos 120 mil hoy de tarde! ¡Está atenta, no dejes el celular!
And that's it!
¡Y fin!
Thanks, guys, I'll save my voice for the next call.
Gracias amigos, voy a cuidar mi voz para la próxima llamada.
- Do we really need him? - He was born for it, he's very good!
- ¿En serio lo necesitamos? - Él nació para esto, es muy bueno.
It's hard to be an actor nowadays, theaters don't have space,
Ser actor hoy en día es muy difícil, porque los teatros no tienen auspicio,
the audience doesn't go to the theaters and TV prefers good looks over talent,
el público no va a los teatros y la tv prefiere los bonitos a los talentosos,
so we study a lot and we have few work opportunities.
entonces uno estudia mucho y tiene pocas oportunidades de trabajo.
That's why we have so many temporary jobs...
Por eso uno vive haciendo trabajitos por ahí...
And I got into this when I was called by some guys in my neighborhood,
Y yo caí aquí por invitación de la gente de donde vivo,
and I'm glad that they acknowledge my art,
y estoy muy feliz, ellos me reconocen, reconocen mi arte,
and I make my living through art, which is very hard for an artist these days.
y gano dinero a través del arte, que es muy difícil para un artista hoy en día.
WATCH SKETCHES 2ND SEASON
VER 2ª TEMPORADA DE SKETCHS
WATCH SKETCHES 1ST SEASON / IMPROVÁVEL / POLITICAL CAMPAIGN / EM BREVES
VER 1ª TEMPORADA DE SKETCHS IMPROVÁVEL / CAMPAÑA POLÍTICA / EN BREVE
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