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Entertainment  15.5M views 283.3K likes 5.4K dislikes   15 Aug 2013
Porta dos Fundos 19.1M subscribers Brazil YouTube↗


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-Terrible game, isn't? -Sergio...
El partido está aburrido, -¿no? Sergio.
-You have bad breath. -What are you talking about?
Tienes mal aliento.
Your bad breath. The rotten smell from your mouth.
- -¿De qué estás hablando? - De tu aliento. Del aire podrido que sale de tu boca.
-What? -That´s it. You have a shitty breath.
-¿Qué? Es eso. Tienes un aliento de mierda, Sergio.
-You mean today? -No, every day, for years now.
-¿Y me lo dices ahora? Te lo digo hace décadas.
Since I've met you, it seems like you chewed the ass of a camel, Sergio.
Desde que te conozco parece que has masticado el culo de un camello, Sergio.
-I don't smell it. -You are used to it by now.
No lo estoy sintiendo. Porque ya estás acostumbrado, Sergio.
You can't call what you have in your mouth saliva. It's leachate.
No tienes saliva en la boca, tienes una cloaca.
There's no tooth, just curb, Sergio!
No tienes dientes, tienes bordillos, Sergio.
Sergio, there's a great possibility that your tongue...
Sergio, existe una gran posibilidad de que tu lengua
was built over an ancient indian cemetery!
haya sido construída encima de un antiguo cementerio indígena.
Do you think brushing my teeth will solve it?
-¿Crees que si me lavo los dientes lo resuelvo?
With abrasive cleaner? Kerosene? Washing powder?
Con detergente, aguarrás, jabón...
I think you must seek help.
Tienes que buscar ayuda. Ayuda profesional.
Professional help. The Fire Brigade. A Plumber... Priest Quevedo.
A los bomberos, a un desatascador, al padre Quevedo...
-Why didn't you tell me before? -I've tried many times...
-¿Y por qué no me lo has dicho antes? Lo he intentado, Sergio...
But every time I get near you, something inside me dies.
pero siempre que me acerco a ti una parte de mí muere.
I'm slowly dying, Sergio.
Estoy muriendo poco a poco, Sergio.
I'm only managing to talk to you now because my nostrils... are clogged with superglue.
Estoy consiguiendo hablar contigo ahora porque mi nariz está taponada con sinusitis.
-Do you think everyone notices it? -Maybe, Sergio.
-¿Crees que todo el mundo lo sabe? Puede ser, Sergio.
-We love you, dude. -You're a great guy!
-¡Pero nosotros te queremos! -¡Eres un amigo de puta madre!
We're just trying to help you, man!
-¡Sólo estamos intentando ayudarte, hermano!
But what about Cynthia whose armpits smell like piss?
-¿Y Cintia, que le huele el sobaco a pichí?
We need her, Sergio, to get to you.
La necesitamos, Sergio, para llegar hasta ti.
Compared to you, she is an air freshener.
Comparado contigo lo de ella es un aire limpio.
Is there anything else you want to tell me?
-¿Hay alguna cosa más que me queres decir?
Try not to "like" your own pics on Instagram.
Intenta no darle "Me gusta" en tus propias fotos del Instagram.
-Why didn't you tell me before? -I've tried, Sergio...
-¿Y por qué no me lo has dicho antes? Lo he intentado, Sergio...
-Why didn't you tell me before? -I've...
-¿Y por qué no me lo has dicho antes? Yo...
Shit, man!
-¡Mierda, Fabio!
I've tried many times, Sergio. But everytime...
Lo he intentado, Sergio... pero siempre que...
Damn it...Wait... wait!
-¡Espera! -¡Espera!
-He's laughing! -Action.
Se está riendo.
-And that's not laughing? -Shut up! That's not laughing?
Eso no es reirse.
-Shall we? -Yeah.
- ¿Vamos? - Vamos.
-Prepare. Action! -I... go, now. Now!
Preparados... Acción. -¡Ahora sí! -¡Ahora sí!
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